17. Will
17
WILL
After picking Birdie up from town, we drive back up the mountain with plans to spend a quiet afternoon on the ranch.
Walking hand in hand toward the barn, we find the donkey pen my brothers and I spent the morning building for our stray donkey has now been finished.
"Good to see you again," Sutton says to Birdie, smirking at our joined hands. "And not behind a bar this time either."
"Thanks," Birdie says, nodding at the new structure. "This looks great. But where is the star of the show?"
"I'm right here," Case muses, puffing up his chest.
Birdie snorts. "I meant the donkey, but good to know you think you're a jacka–" I cover her mouth and laugh at the wide-eyed look on Case's face.
"Damn, you've got a good one there, Willy-Will," he adds, joining in on everyone's amusement.
Then, as if the animal senses he has been summoned, the donkey noses his way out of the barn and into the pen.
Case used a computer design program to create a plan for an animal pen last night. Half a day later, after a quick trip into town for timber, his idea has been brought to life. There's even a doorway leading from the outside pen into a stall in the barn so that there's shelter and warmth if the donkey needs it.
Whether he stays there and doesn't try to escape again is another story. I swear, since he's been on the ranch, he's escaped his confines at least twice. But still, he doesn't leave the ranch…
Birdie grins. "This is really good. I'm sure he'll love it."
"As long as he stays there," I mutter.
"You've just got to make it more comfortable for him then he'll never want to leave." She takes a good lover over the area. "Maybe there are things donkeys need that you don't have yet? Somethin' to make him like it more? I don't know much about animals, but I do know donkeys can be noisy."
Just as she says that the animal in question whiffles approvingly.
"I like her, Will. Can we keep her?" Case asks, making Birdie giggle. He shoots us a cocky grin. "Do you want to stay? I'd much rather have you here than the bossy britches you're holdin' hands with."
"Haha. You're hilarious," I reply dryly.
"Nothin' wrong with havin' a donkey. This one's cute in a… special kind of way." She lets go of my hand but only to wrap an arm around my waist, snuggling into my side like it's something she's been doing her whole life. Like she belongs there.
My brothers share a surprised look but don't say a word about it. The thing is, I don't care if Birdie and I haven't known each other for all that long. When it feels this right, you don't question it. All I know is that something changed on that first date.
Birdie is my lighthouse in a storm, just like how Cap described Mom. I don't know what the storm is or will be, just that she's going to be the one guiding me through it.
"If we're keepin' him, he's goin' to need a name," Sutton replies, getting back to the subject at hand.
Case glances over at me. "You do know that the minute we name him, it means he's ours?"
"He's right. It is claimin' him," Birdie says, tipping her face up to mine. Without thinking, I drip down to brush my lips against hers, her body heat not just warming me up, it feels like it's branding me too.
"Claimed or not," I say. "He has escaped from his confines more than once now and hasn't left."
"And it's not like anyone seems to be missin' him," Jude notes.
I nod. "Exactly."
"He may not be the prettiest thing I've ever seen, but apart from bein' noisy, he's not all that bad," Sutton muses.
"Hey! He's a livin' bein' just like any other animal we could have up here. Who cares if he's not pretty, he's still…unique," Jude says, wincing when the animal in question lets out an almighty squeal that has us all jumping. Birdie snorts and then sighs. I'm starting to think she's in love with the thing.
"Does this mean we're goin' to be a donkey ranch now?" Sutton asks.
"One donkey does not make us a donkey ranch," Case argues. "But it's no worse than any other idea we've had so far."
"It won't stop any of the other things we agreed to either. We've already said we're movin' ahead with reopenin' Gramps's guest ranch in some capacity," I say. That was another thing that came out of last night's discussions. "We're goin' to need animals anyway. There's no need to look a gift horse–or donkey–in the mouth. He's already here, nobody's missin' him, and he seems relatively happy…"
As if he heard us, the animal in question lets out a loud bray that sounds almost offensive. If the damn thing keeps making noises like that, I might second-guess my decision to let it stay here.
"Not that I have a vote in this, but I happen to think he's cute," Birdie says, letting go of me so she can move to the edge of the wooden pen. She bends down to grab a fistful of hay before straightening and holding it out in front of her.
The donkey eyes her curiously, a snort escaping him as he stares at her. "Don't get your hopes up," Jude warns. "He hasn't let any of us get close to him yet."
She glances over her shoulder. "Maybe he doesn't like city boys that call him ugly." That gets a chuckle or two from us Coopers and a bray that I swear sounds like a laugh from the donkey in question.
"C'mon, buddy. I know you can't resist this Cooper Ranch goodness." Birdie jiggles her hand with the hay. "That's why you came here, isn't it?" she coos, and wouldn't you know it, that damn donkey— ours now, I guess—starts inching forward. He can't look away from her, almost like he's as enamored as I am. I know the feeling, buddy.
Case stares at the scene playing out before us. "Should've figured he'd be a ladies' man." He snorts. "Wouldn't budge with any of us but a pretty lady gives him some hay and suddenly he's like putty in her hands."
I grin over at the beaming Birdie who is rubbing the top of our still-nameless donkey's head. "I can see why," I mutter under my breath, not quite enough though since now I'm the source of everyone's amusement. Except when Birdie's gaze locks with mine, a wave of intense warmth courses through me, starting in the middle of my chest and spreading like tremors out from an epicenter. My pulse spikes and for a second I feel almost tipsy.
Thankfully, Sutton raises his hand in the air, giving me something else to focus on. "Just to say, donkey or no donkey, I still think my idea of a mental health retreat could've worked. An idea that y'all shot down, may I add."
"We didn't say no..." Case replies.
Sutton's eyes narrow. "You said, and I quote, 'there ain't no way anyone is comin' to the middle of nowhere Alaska to find themselves. Then, when Jude found out there's a wellness camp nearby with yurts and meditation and vegan food, you said it wouldn't have worked anyway since there already is one."
Case puts his hand on his twin's shoulder. "Doesn't mean we can't have a Zen garden or somethin'. I bet Jude will know exactly what to do with that and what to plant in it too. Then , if our eventual ranch guests–or any of us–need a moment, there will be somewhere for them to go."
Sutton turns hopeful eyes to Case and then to Jude who's already nodding. "We already had plans for the vegetable garden and orchard. There's nothin' stoppin' us from addin' in a meditation garden with the correct Feng Shui and all that too."
"Feng what ?" Case asks. "Wait, is that when you put things in certain places to help the energy or somethin'?"
"Sure is," Jude replies.
Case's eyes bug out. "You can do that with gardens?"
"Yep. Can pretty much do it with anythin'."
Case shrugs. "OK. Strange, but who am I to judge?" I stare at my brother like he's just sprouted another head. This is Cayson Cooper, the man who questions everything , and he's now accepting Feng Shui just like that…
The donkey brays again, nudging Birdie's arm when the hay is all gone and she has stopped petting him. With one last scratch on the top of his head, she makes her way back to my side. The woozy feeling from before morphs into a comfortable calm as soon as I touch her again. Weird .
"I'm tellin' y'all right now, if this donkey doesn't stop squawkin', we might all need a damn Zen garden to stop us doin' somethin' we might regret," Jude muses.
The unnamed animal whiffles in response, and I swear it sounds like he's laughing.
Birdie looks between my brothers. "So, you've got a donkey, a garden, and?—"
"Christmas trees," Case says rather emphatically.
"You do know they'll take years to mature, right?" Jude tells him.
"Yep," Case says. "And whatever happens when this place becomes ours, they'll still be here. It'll be my contribution to the ridge and the ranch. My legacy.
"Even if we're not here?" I ask without thinking. Birdie tenses up and Sutton must sense the change in mood because he quickly tries to push the topic along.
"Do you see yourself leavin' anytime soon, Will?" Sutton asks, his gaze switching between the two of us.
"I–" I clamp my mouth shut. It's been a month and no, I can't see myself ever wanting to return to my old life.
Sutton narrows his eyes. "And before you try and lie, don't forget we've all seen the change in you since we arrived and since you met Birdie." He jerks his head to the quiet woman next to me. "The old Will and new Will are night and day right now. Winter and Summer–"
"I think he gets it," Jude says quietly. "He's not wrong though."
"What about you?" I ask Case, shooting him a questioning look. "Can you say you'd want to leave when your Christmas tree farm is up and runnin'? That you wouldn't want to see it through?"
"Nope. If I'm plantin' it, you can be damn sure that I'll be here when the first tree is cut down," he says with a pointed stare. "But we're not talkin' about me here, Will."
Sutton rolls his eyes. "No, we're just doin' what we usually do. Usin' Will as an example to take the attention off the rest of us. It's called deflection. Worked like a charm growin' up."
"Hey. Has anyone ever told you that you sound like a therapist," Birdie says, breaking the mood
Sutton laughs. "Funny that."
"From an outsider lookin' in, it sounds like you'll have a ranch with somethin' for everyone," she continues. "Ridley was the same. He always had a lot of things on the go at any one time."
"He had a lot of things, period," Sutton deadpans. "Puttin' my professional hat on, I'd say there was a bit of hoardin', OCD, and maybe paranoia too."
Birdie shrugs. "Don't know about any of that, but whenever we'd come up here, he seemed level-headed. Even toward the end." I give her a grateful squeeze because as always, she's trying to help us see the positives. "Back when the ranch was in its heyday, he'd sell fruit and vegetables at the monthly farmer's market and barter for all the stuff he wanted to buy in return. He had a menagerie of animals at one point too, didn't he?" She angles her head my way.
I nod. "Yeah. Whenever we'd come visit there would be somethin'—or someone —new. Chickens, horses, goats, even an alpaca at some point."
"Is that what y'all are goin' to do again?" She looks around my brothers. "If you're goin' to run a guest ranch, then there needs to be things to do, right?"
Sutton arches a brow. "Sounds like you fully support us keepin' Mr. Donkey here?"
Birdie scrunches her nose. "Maybe not callin' him Mr. Donkey. Otherwise, yes. Mark me down as a fully-fledged member of Team Cooper and your plans for the ranch. Especially if it means more animals for me to pet."
"Even my Christmas tree farm?" Case adds, seemingly seeking Birdie's approval. And why does even that make me happy? Case may be the happy-go-lucky, joker one of us brothers, but underneath it all, he needs as much validation and acceptance as anyone else. He cares a lot and does it deeply.
"Honestly? It's one of the best ideas I've heard so far. No offense to the rest of y'all. But the nearest farm is over two hundred miles away. Every year, Dad and I contract someone to bring in trees to sell in the gas station's forecourt," she explains. "And they sell out every year. If the townsfolk could come up here and chop their own, they'd be linin' up to do it. Especially if you could turn it into an experience with food and drinks and stuff. I can even check with Dad if there's anythin' stoppin' you from just goin' ahead and puttin' saplin's in the ground already."
"Really?" That'd be amazin', Birdie. Thanks so much." Case beams. I decide there and then to do whatever it takes to get my brother his wish. I want him to have a project, something that's just his. It may help keep him focused and not slip into his lows as much as he used to. It's a win-win in my book.
I give my girl a gentle squeeze, waiting for her face to tilt my way before I smile against her lilts her face my way before smiling against her lips. "Thanks, honey."
She shrugs. "It's your family. I'll do anythin' I can to help." Just like that, no lies, no platitudes. Just Birdie being Birdie.
"Mr. Donkey is a pretty bad name, brother," Sutton muses. "Considerin' he doesn't do anythin' but heehaw and grunt like a grumpy old man."
"Maybe we should call him Grumps then," Jude says with a smirk. "We're at Gramps's ranch, and the donkey is grumpy. Gramps plus grumpy equals?—"
"Grumps," we all say in unison.
"I like it," Sutton says, grabbing a handful of hay and holding it out for the donkey just like Birdie did. To everyone's shock, Grumps doesn't hesitate to grab the feed between his teeth and snatch it away, the only difference is that he almost tugs my brother's arm off in the process.
"He needs to work on his manners, but it's better than nothin'," I say. Somehow, I'm more confident than ever that we can do this… that I can do this.
"Oh, I almost forgot. When you were gone, we found somethin' in the barn," Jude says mysteriously.
"What was it this time? A piece of Noah's ark? Another family tree? Maybe a shrine to some ancient mountain spirit like in those books we're reading, right honey?" I gently nudge her arm, and she freezes for a second before it's gone again.
"Nothin' like that, but from what you've told me, it sure would make life a lot easier if we had a mountain pickin' our one true love for us."
I frown, thinking not for the first time since I started reading Aster's books, that I wouldn't give up the journey Birdie and I are on for anything. I like that we chose each other. She's the first woman in years that has so wholly captured my attention and affection. Maybe ever . That's how I know there's something special growing between us.
"C'mon, put us out of our misery. What did Gramps leave of us this time?" I ask.
"Not us, brother. You . It's another journal. His journal. This one has a note on it sayin' it's for your eyes first," Jude explains.
I frown. "Did you look inside?"
"Do you think we're stupid? Didn't disobey him when he was alive, not goin' to risk his wrath now he's passed. The note said it's for you to read, I figure you'll share it with us after that. We put it inside for you," Case replies.
"Thanks, I guess," I say, still puzzled. "Would be a lot easier if he had just put everythin' in a treasure chest or somethin'. Then we would be able to just rip off the Band-Aid and find out everythin' at once."
"It's kind of fun though, don't you think?" Birdie shrugs. "It's a nice way to know that he was thinkin' about all of you when you weren't here. Also means you'll keep rememberin' him when you find all the things he's hidden."
"I like you, Birdie. Will. Can we keep her?" Sutton asks, laughing at my answering growl as we bid farewell to Grumps for the moment and start walking back to the house.
My mind races with all the things we still need to do. Animals. Repairs. Catching up on maintenance. That's before we move on to the cabins which almost need to be demolished and rebuilt. But we have time…
Unlike when I was in Chicago, I'm not doing it alone this time. I've got my brothers who are just as invested as I am. We all want to make this work, and by the sound of it, we all want to stay for the foreseeable future.
Last night, when we were making all these big decisions, we all agreed that the small-town life isn't too bad and that if we end up living here for longer than we first anticipated, so be it.
Then there's Birdie—the woman I never saw coming and never imagined meeting. She wants me for who I am, not what I have and what I can give her. It feels deeper than just dating though, and I sense it's not one-sided either. It's like we've known each other for longer than just over a month.
As quickly as I think that, I realize how crazy it sounds. You're not supposed to fall for someone this quickly, right?
Then again, Mom and Cap knew straight away. Gramps always said he only ever had eyes for our grandmother too.
All I know is that I can't stop thinking about Birdie whether she's with me or not. She's kind, cheerful, and giving, with a heart of gold that's just as beautiful as she is. She takes my breath away just from looking at her and she makes my heart race like never before.
Every day, my feelings get stronger and harder to ignore.
Then there's the books. I don't know what it is, but the more books we read together, the more I see us in the stories. I have to remind myself that it's fiction. It's not real. It can't be real. There's no such thing as a matchmaking spirit. That could never be true.
"Will, are you OK? You've gone quiet," Birdie asks, breaking through my thoughts.
I stop walking, realizing that it's just the two of us standing in front of the house now, my brothers having long left us alone.
She looks up at me, her blue eyes shining in the daylight. Before I know it, her jaw is cradled in my hands and I'm lowering my mouth to kiss her, starting soft and slow, my tongue gliding along the seam of her lips before delving inside. Home . She moans into my mouth as I groan into hers, melding my body to hers as she sags against mine. Then something snaps and we're making out like our lives depend on it.
Pulling apart, heaving in some much-needed air, we breathe each other in. "Damn you can kiss, I murmur. "You make me lose my mind every single time."
"You're not too bad yourself," she whispers roughly, brushing our lips together before shifting back again, leaving her hands on my chest. "But I think you promised me a little tour of what y'all have been up to since I was last here. We should go do that otherwise we'll keep gettin' distracted."
"Not a bad distraction," I muse, running an arm down her back to rest just below her hips, loving the way her breath catches at my touch.
She closes her eyes for a moment before they jerk open again. "Let's get inside before you trick me again with your smooth moves and we end up freezin' out butts out here."
"I don't feel cold right now…" I murmur before kissing her again, unable to stop myself.
This time it's just as hot, heavy. But I make sure to tear myself away and step back, putting distance between us to avoid temptation, my body feeling more alive and turned on than I've ever felt before.
I'm starting to think I'm obsessed with this woman because all I want to do is touch her, kiss her, be with her. Right now, standing outside our ranch house with my brothers inside is not conducive to doing anything about that. With that in mind, I remember her question.
"Yeah, tour. Right. Yes. Let's do that," I say, tripping over my words when my mind is stuck on Birdie and nothing else.
Birdie drops her head against my chest, wrapping her arms tight around me and giggling into my shirt. "I can read your mind, so I know exactly what you're thinkin'. So yes, let's distract each other. Maybe we can find somethin' for me to do? Can I help you with floors or doors or sandin' or somethin'?"
I cock my head, my eyes roaming and taking in her flushed skin and swollen lips, all thanks to yours truly. "You want to help?"
"Um, duh . Do you even know me? I'm an 'all hands on deck' kind of girl. More than that though, But here, at the ranch, I want to help. Ridley was important to me too and I can't think of anythin' I want to do more than help y'all make this house yours." She bites her lip. "Though it's not exactly selfless, since helpin' you means we get to spend more time together. It's a win-win as far as I'm concerned." Damn do I like hearing that.
I stare at her in wonder. "I've never met anyone like you, honey. I hope you know that."
Her answering smile is so bright it's almost blinding. "Good to know. I happen to think you're pretty damn awesome too, Will Cooper. But unless you do want to stand out and freeze, how 'bout we go inside? You never know," she says with a wink, "we might be able to find some time later to make out a little more. Work first, fun later. Isn't that what Ridley used to always say?"
I still. Suddenly I can imagine a life just like this. It seems so damn real as it plays out in my mind. It seems so real I can almost reach out and touch it.
Flirting, teasing, heated looks, and stolen kisses. Fixing up the house and turning it into everything we could ever need it to be. Putting in the work to make Cooper Ranch the best it can and ever has been. Making Gramps proud. I see it all.
I need it.
I want it.
And I want it with Birdie…
Another look at the woman in my arms and I hear Gramps's words again.
Work first. Fun later.
That's what I'm banking on.