Chapter 7
Em
Jude and I have continued to text each other almost daily for the past week.
Sometimes he’ll update me with the goings on back in Timber Falls and other times, I’ll send him photos of things I see during my day or just general happenings in my life I want to show him. .
Now, after another solo dinner and night in front of the television, I’ve noticed my body and mind are feeling heavy. It’s something that’s been happening a lot over the past two weeks, but especially the last few days.
Everything I do seems to take more out of me. I’ve even wondered if I was coming down with a cold or something.
What does have me smiling for what might be the first time today is the photo Jude sends through of Grumps the donkey standing proud on a tree stump with Jude’s hat hanging from his snout. I’ve looked at it from all angles and I swear the animal is grinning.
Jude: He’s lucky he’s cute.
He’s not the only one, I think to myself with a grin.
Em: Not sure that hats are a recommended part of a donkey’s diet.
Jude: Tell him that. He’s always trying to steal something from someone around here.
Em: Has Dare ever told you he looks identical to the ones we have at our ranch?
Jude: Nope. Though I’m not sure he’s actually seen this jackass.
Em: That’s derogatory donkey language, hubby!
That’s another thing that’s happened, the nicknames have stuck around and I’m not mad about it.
Jude: Considering Grumps doesn’t care what I say about him or to him, I don’t think he’s going to be offended. My brothers have called him worse things.
Em: Maybe I need to become an advocate for better donkey treatment in Timber Falls
Jude: THAT would be interesting.
And yep, I’m still smiling. For a moment, the heaviness lifts.
Em: How was your day other than encountering the hat thief?
Jude: Good. Wy, Case and I fixed up some fences and I helped the twins with an issue at your ranch.
I hit the video call button without thinking. Moments later, the line connects and Jude’s surprised yet far-too-handsome face fills my screen.
“Hey,” he greets me with a smirk. “I wondered if that might activate your Wilson instincts.”
“There’s an issue at the ranch?”
Jude’s eyes soften. “Nothin’ disastrous, I promise. EJ and BJ tried to take a shortcut with the waterin’ pipes and sprung a leak of epic proportions.”
“Shit. Was anythin’ damaged?”
He shrugs. “Nothin’ worth mentionin’ and it was an easy fix once I got there. Dare decided it was easier to call me over since I know what I’m doin’.”
“That definitely sounds like Dare,” I say warmly.
His lips curl up to the side. “At least now I know how to get you to call me.”
I poke my tongue out at him. “Maybe I couldn’t understand your mountain man text messages and decided it was best to call and lip read,” I tease.
He snickers. “I’d probably believe that if I was a fully-fledged mountain man.
“You mean you’re not?” I gasp, shaking my head. “I’m not sure you can be my fake husband anymore, Jude Cooper. I could never settle for someone who’s not ‘of the mountain’ so to speak.”
Jude’s laughter fills the room as his deep brown eyes dance with amusement. “Guess I better start gettin’ lessons then. Can’t disappoint my fake wife.”
There’s no stopping my answering smile or the warmth that settles in the middle of my chest. “I think it’s only right.”
“How are you doin’ today, anyway? Feelin’ better?”
My heart flips at his thoughtfulness. “Still the same. Maybe the last few months are finally catchin’ up to me. Otherwise, I’ve caught somethin’ from bein’ in the office.”
He cocks his head, concern written all over his face. “You’re doin’ OK though?”
My eyes focus on his hand rubbing his chest over his heart, just as mine thumps against my sternum. Weird.
Jude always checks in with me. It’s sweet and very thoughtful and totally in tune with the man he continues to show me he is since we met.
“Some days are better than others,” I reply, honestly. “Though gettin’ sent photos of hat-stealin’ donkeys sure helps.”
That brings a slow-growing, grateful smile to his face. “Glad I can help.” He jostles the phone for a second and next thing I know, he’s lying down on what looks like his bed. “Gettin’ comfortable?”
Jude shrugs. “Hopin’ this’ll turn into a longer conversation so figured I might as well lay back and not kink my neck.” This man’s honesty gets me every time.
Following his lead, I get up, turn the lights off and make my way down the hallway to my bedroom, turning my dim bedside light on before getting situated under the covers. His eyes light up. “What?”
“That’s the first glimpse you’ve given me of your house.”
“And what do you think?”
“Didn’t get to see much. It looks cozy though. An escape that’s all yours,” he replies.
“Yeah. I keep choppin’ and changin’ the vibe. But I like comin’ home, so it works for me.”
“That’s how it’s meant to be. Made to be lived in, not looked at.”
I arch a brow. “Thought you were a gardener, not an interior designer.”
“I’m a qualified landscape architect, I’ll have you know,” he replies. “Sometimes that involves drawin’ inspiration from the interior and the environment around us for my gardens. That means I do need to know a little about the inside to match the outside.”
“Well, I guess I know better now.”
He laughs. “It would be like me callin’ you a rock doctor.”
My eyes jump wide before a giggle escapes. “Technically I probably am one. Minus the doctor part.”
“You’re so much more than that. You’re workin’ toward understandin’ the natural world in order to make it a safer place for those of us that live in it.”
My heart doesn’t just flip this time, it freaking leaps. “That’s one way to look at it, yeah,” I reply, my voice a little rough.
“I still can’t believe you’ve wanted to study earthquakes since you were a kid. That’s kind of amazin’,” he continues and just like the first time I told him about my job, I blush at his praise.
“Keep it up, hubby. You’re good for a girl’s ego.”
His gaze gentles and yes, it’s a damn good look on him. “Glad to be of service.”
A yawn escapes me before I can stop it and I quickly cover my mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s not the first time I’ve exhausted someone just by talkin’ to them.” My mouth drops open to argue but I stop when he winks. “I’m jokin’. Kinda. Before I got my meds right, I could be rather tryin’.”
“ADHD doesn’t define you as a person, Jude. It makes you more interestin’. You’re just wired differently to others.” Then something occurs to me. “Wait, people have called you exhaustin’ before?”
He shrugs, as if brushing it off. “Not for a while.”
My heart aches and I’m hit with an urge to wrap him up in my arms and protect him from everything and everyone.
“Please don’t feel sorry for me. That’s not why I said it. My brothers and I joke about our collection of mental health disorders all the time,” he explains.
I cock my head. “Have you all got ADHD?”
“Nope,” he says with a jerk of his head.
“Just me. Will was pretty burned out before we moved to the ranch, Case has seasonal depression disorder—though it's been a lot better since we moved here and he met Isla. Sutton had pretty severe social anxiety when he was younger. He’s one of the steadiest people I know now.”
“And now you’ve all got each other to lean on.”
“You’ve got your family too. Carin’ about those important to you isn’t defined by location and nearness.
Me and my brothers are a testament to that.
We lived in opposite parts of the country before the readin’ of Gramps’s will and although we didn’t talk every day or see each other that often, we always knew we’d be there for one another. ”
My lips tip up. “And now y’all are livin’ together on my mountain.”
A stunned snort hits my ears. “Oh. It’s your mountain now. Is it?”
“Yep. My daddy said so, didn’t he?”
Jude shakes his head, his eyes never leave mine though. “Hmm, that’s not the way I remember it. He said you brought his family together and you’d bring the mountain together.”
Ironic that I’m the reason my family isn’t together right now.
“Not sure how he thought I’d put the mountain back together,” I think out loud.
“I’m not quite clear on that one either to be honest,” he replies, though I detect something working behind his eyes. Maybe I’m just seeing things that aren’t there.
“My brothers and your family seem to be gettin’ along fine now. Goin’ by the amount of times you’re visitin’ Wilson Ranch, anyway.”
He arches a single brow. “You keepin’ tabs on me, wifey?”
“No, I—” I stutter.
“It’s cute. I like it. Don’t let me stop you.” His wide grin is doing things to me that it absolutely shouldn’t. It’s fake, Em.
“Jude, I—”
“Means you think about me and are interested in what I’m up to. Don’t worry, Em. You’re the only fake wife I want..”
My mouth drops as wide open as my eyes but I quickly slam it shut and glare at the cocky smirk staring back at me. “I don’t even know what to do with you right now.”
“That’s OK. Just keep talkin’. Talkin’ to you is becomin’ the highlight of my day,” he replies, sleepily. No hiding. No pretense. Just straight facts.
“We don’t even know each other,” I blurt out on a whisper.
“How about we work on changin’ that? You start. Ask me anythin’, Em.”
I tilt my head to the side, curiosity piqued. “Really? Anythin’?”
“Yup. Got nothin’ to hide. Not from you.”
Unfortunately, that’s when a huge yawn breaks free and I watch his features turn so soft it’s like I can feel it despite being hundreds of miles away.
I cover my cheeks with my hands to hide my blush. “I’m so sorry. That was rude.”
“Naw. How ‘bout this? You get some rest and we’ll table this interrogation till tomorrow. Sound good?”
“OK.” I let out a tired sigh. “I don’t even know why I’m so wrung out at the moment. I’m gettin’ more than enough sleep. I’m eatin’ well. Work isn’t even that busy right now.”
An unreadable look flashes over his face before he quickly schools his features. “Any other weird feelin’s?”
“I was thinkin’ about it earlier and I’ve just been off kilter since the funeral. It’s like nothing seems to fit right now. I just feel different.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s like the me before Dad passed and the me I am now are not the same. Even though I know I am. Bet that sounds crazy,” I explain.
“Not at all. They’re your feelin’s and nobody can or should tell you they’re not valid. You’re the one experiencin’ it so far as I see it, you’re in the best position to describe it.”
I can’t help but scrunch my brows together. “How are you even real?”
He makes a show of lifting his arm and pinching it. “I feel pretty real.”
“You’re just so.” My voice drifts off but Jude doesn’t let that phase him.
“Handsome? Funny? Intelligent? Charmin’? Do go on, wifey,” he smirks.
“Wow. There it is,” I sigh dramatically.
“There’s what?”
“A flaw. I’ve been wonderin’ when I’d see your first red flag fly. They’ve all been green so far. Thank you for provin’ you’re not in fact a perfect figment of my imagination.”
His head jerks back and I think I’ve actually surprised him. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have any red flags. Not that I know of, anyway.” His shy smile has my heart go thump. thump. Thump. “My advice is for you to just take it easy and be kind to yourself. That’s what I’m doin’.”
“Why?” I ask, my curiosity piqued. Jude always seems so put together and well-balanced. There’s a tug in my chest at the thought that he could be struggling too and I’ve missed it. “Are you—?”
“I’m OK, Em. Bit like you, though. Tired, wrung out, feelin’ like I’m missin’ somethin’.” My breath catches in my throat. That’s exactly how I feel. “Probably just workin’ too much. The ranch never sleeps.”
I hear Dad’s voice in my head sayin’ the same thing. “And work is never done.”
“It’s the mantra of the mountain, I’m sure,” he says, seeming a little distracted by something now. “Go relax and get some rest, yeah?”
“I will,” I say with a small smile. “You too.”
“Good night, wifey.” His eyes crinkle at the sides as his soft gaze roams over my face. “Talk soon.”
“Good night, hubby,” I get out before he nods and he ends the call.
After putting my phone down on the nightstand, I roll over onto my back and stare up at my bedroom ceiling. “Men are weird,” I tell the room.
Then I smile and start brainstorming questions to ask Jude tomorrow.
Sometime later, as I’m drifting off to sleep, my eyes jump open as something occurs to me.
It hasn’t just been since Dad’s passing that I’ve been feeling strange. It started before that, when I first met Jude. It got worse when I left Timber Falls to come back home to Palmer.
What I don’t know is what that means. I just hope I can figure it out soon and find a way to fix it.