Chapter 12
ALEC
I’m torn between savoring the moment and jumping right in.
My body is urging me to take what Hazel’s offering without hesitation.
To do all the things I’ve been fantasizing about without wasting another second.
To peel the rest of her clothes off and kiss every inch of her body.
To find out what she tastes like when she’s aroused and what her moans sound like when she comes.
To discover how it feels when she comes apart around me and what her face looks like at the peak of ecstasy.
I want to do all of those things, and I will.
But I also want to absorb each perfect moment of this. I want to memorize the curves and dips of Hazel’s body, and the sweet pink shade of her nipples. I want to spend minutes, hours, even, cataloguing every freckle, every tiny scar, each tiny detail that makes Hazel her.
I want to look at my gorgeous girlfriend—yes, my girlfriend, how unexpectedly awesome is that—as she’s stretched out across the bed like a priceless offering.
She’s only wearing a pair of black, lacy panties that don’t do much to cover anything. Especially when the fabric is dark with her desire and her legs are spread apart in invitation.
Her breasts are perfect; plump and full and pink-tipped, rising and falling rapidly as she looks at me. Her cheeks are flushed with anticipation and her eyes are a dark, stormy blue.
As I’m looking at Hazel, she draws her lower lip between her teeth. Her gaze drags down my chest and below my waist, lingering there. Heat flares in her eyes.
Shit.
How am I supposed to appreciate the moment when she looks at me like that?
“Alec?” Her voice is husky. But there’s a hint of uncertainty to it, too.
“What, Haze?”
“Have you changed your mind?” The flush on her cheeks grows deeper. “Or do you not like—”
Shit.
What kind of idiot am I?
While I’m standing at the end of the bed, admiring Hazel’s body, she’s been wondering if I’m having second thoughts. Or if there’s something about her incredible body that disappoints me.
I climb onto the bed and brace myself over her. Then I capture her mouth with mine, kissing her until she’s pink-cheeked for all the right reasons. “I have not changed my mind,” I tell her. “Not even for a second. And there is nothing about you I don’t like.”
“Oh.” She lets out a relieved breath. “I just wasn’t sure. It’s been a long time…”
“Haze. Sweetheart.” I cup her cheek with my hand. “I was standing there thinking about how gorgeous you are. And all the things I want to do to you.”
“Okay.” Her lips lift. “That’s okay, then.”
“Look at me.” I lean back a little. “Does it look like I’m not interested in you? That I don’t want you?”
Hazel touches my erection, trailing her cool fingers across my heated skin. “No. It doesn’t look”—her smile expands—“or feel like that.”
“No. It shouldn’t. Because I want you very, very much.”
Her hand wraps around me. “I want you very, very much, too.”
I kiss her again. “Then we should probably do something about that, shouldn’t we?”
“I think we should,” she agrees. After a beat, she adds, “I knew you were muscly. From all the sexy T-shirts you wear. But I didn’t know you were this muscly.”
I kiss a line down her neck and to her collarbone, then pause to ask, “My sexy T-shirts? How can a T-shirt be sexy?”
“T-shirts can be very sexy. Especially when the sleeves are all tight around your biceps. And I can see how broad your shoulders are, and sometimes when you stretch I can see a peek of your stomach.”
My erection jumps. “So you were watching me, huh?”
Hazel blushes. “Sometimes.” A beat, and then, “Even though I told myself I wanted to stay single, I still thought you were the most handsome man I’d ever seen. And that it couldn’t hurt to admire you.”
“Haze.”
My heart hurts a little to think of Hazel so alone for all those years. Yes, she had Frank and Wendy. And the employees at Blissful Brews. But that wasn’t the same as a close group of friends. Or a family she could turn to when she needed help or was struggling.
Never again.
Hazel will never be alone as long as I’m around.
She’ll have me. She’ll have my team. She’ll have Winter and Lark and Rory. She’ll have all my old Army buddies like Ace and Rhett. She’ll always have someone to have her six.
Hazel runs her fingers through my hair. “I always wondered if your hair was as soft as it looks. And now I know.”
I start kissing a line down her chest and stomach, loving the way her muscles quiver at my touch. “And is it? Soft?”
“Alec. You know it is. Your hair is amazing. All soft and shiny and thick. I wish I had waves like yours.”
“Haze. Your hair is beautiful. It reminds me of Snow White’s. But even prettier.”
This isn’t something I’ve done before; engaging in conversation during foreplay. In the past, it was all about getting to the main event. Not that I didn’t try to satisfy the woman—I did, and I never had complaints—but to talk about hair and T-shirts and feelings… It’s different.
And I like it. A lot.
As I work my way down Hazel’s body, she moans. Her head falls back. A pretty flush creeps across her chest and her legs spread further apart.
“Alec.” Her gaze searches mine. “I love what you’re doing. But…”
I still. “But what?”
In a rush, she blurts, “I just really want to feel you inside me.”
Oh.
Shit.
But the foreplay. Kissing her all over. Draping her legs over my shoulders and bringing her to completion with my mouth and fingers. Exploring her body to find all the sensitive spots. Taking my time with her.
“We don’t have to rush,” I reply.
My body groans silently in protest.
“I know.” She shifts so our hips are lined up and I’m nudging at her center. “But I want to. Because I can’t wait to feel you inside me. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.”
I glance between us. All it would take is one quick thrust and I’d be inside her. Joined with her. And I want it. Badly.
“Ah, shit. Protection.” I start to sit back on my heels. “I need to get my wallet.”
Hazel grabs my ass and pulls me back down. Though her voice is confident, vulnerability flashes in her eyes. “I’m on birth control. And I’ve been tested. So, if you wanted…”
She would forgo protection with me?
I’ve never, ever been with a woman without it.
“Or not,” she adds quickly. “It was just a thought.”
“I’ve been tested, too. Are you sure, though?”
“I never thought I’d want to. But with you… I want to feel everything.”
My heart rolls over. Squeezes.
My mom was right.
Though it’s the most incongruous thought to be having right now, I can’t help it.
There is a woman for me. And she’s right here. Trusting me. With her heart. With her body. With her life.
I notch myself back between Hazel’s legs. “Sweetheart. I want to feel everything, too.”
And as I slowly sink inside her, I do.
I feel the slickness of her arousal easing me in.
The tightness of her inner walls clutching at me.
I feel the quiver of her muscles as I plunge even deeper.
I feel the perfect fit of us once I’m fully inside her.
And it’s so much more than I could have imagined.
Not just because of how it feels physically, which is pretty damn incredible. But because this—what Hazel is trusting me with—means even more than that.
I didn’t want to trust for a long time.
But with Hazel, it’s impossible not to.
As we move together, a feeling like nothing I’ve experienced before grows bigger and bigger inside me.
This is perfect. In every way possible.
Hazel’s moans and whimpers are perfect.
So is the way she says my name, like she’s desperate for me.
Her nails dig into my arms, bringing the perfect sting of pain amid the overwhelming pleasure.
The way she feels as I pull out and plunge deep inside her again is perfection.
When her eyes fall shut and her lips part in a tiny O of pleasure, it’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.
And then.
When her eyes open to meet mine, and she begs, “Alec. I need more. Harder. Faster. Please,” I can’t think of a more perfect time than this.
And like anything Hazel asks for, I’ll gladly give it to her.
So I prop her legs over my shoulders and drive into her harder. Faster.
Pressure builds inside me, desperate to escape.
I reach between us to find her exposed bundle of nerves and work it until she’s whimpering and her muscles are convulsing around me.
And with one final thrust, she explodes, screaming my name.
That’s all it takes for me to rocket off the edge with her. My vision blinks out in a flash of bright light as I pulse inside her, filling her. Sharing something I’ve never done with anyone before. Trusting Hazel with something I wouldn’t with anyone else.
Still joined, I roll both of us over so Hazel’s draped across my body.
We both lay in silence as the aftershocks ripple through us and our breathing returns to normal again.
She tucks her head under my chin and nuzzles my neck, which I’ve discovered might be one of my favorite things in the world.
Or maybe my favorite thing is holding Hazel in my arms and feeling her naked body pressed against mine.
Maybe it’s her soft breath feathering across my skin, punctuated by light sighs of pleasure.
Or maybe it’s all of it.
Maybe Hazel is my favorite thing in the world.
After a couple minutes of silence, Hazel smiles against my neck. With a hint of laughter in her voice, she says, “I think I worked up an appetite now.”
I chuckle, which drags me dangerously close to slipping out of her. “I think I could eat, too.”
She hesitates. “Was that okay? Like I said, it’s been a really long time for me.”
“Haze.” I kiss her head and stroke my hand down the length of her hair. “It wasn’t okay. It was perfect.”
“Okay.” Her lips curve again. “Good.”
I know I need to get up before we make a mess all over Hazel’s bed, but I don’t want to break the connection. Not yet. So instead, I mention one of the other thoughts that’s been floating around in my head.
“I was thinking,” I say, “about the holidays. We do Thanksgiving Day here, but I go to my parents’ for the weekend. It’s just easier for my sister and brother-in-law, with their work. And I was wondering… would you like to come with me? Meet my family?”
Hazel sucks in a breath.She goes still in my arms. After a long pause, she asks, “You would want me to meet your parents?”
“Of course. They’ll love you. And I might be biased, but I think my family is pretty great. Embarrassing at times, and I’m sure my mom will make you look at all my old baby pictures. But great, just the same.”
“What about… Well. Wouldn’t it be dangerous? For them? If I go?”
“I’m sure we’ll have everything worked out by then. And if not, they’ll come here, instead.”
“Alec. You can’t ask your family to come here for Thanksgiving just because of me.”
I hug Hazel to me and kiss her head again. “Yes. I could. And I would. Because I want you to meet them. And trust me. My mom’s already thrilled that we’re dating. So—”
Hazel jerks her head up, nearly smashing me in the chin. “You told your mom about us?”
“I did. Is that okay?”
She nods. “It’s okay.”
“I told her how great you are,” I explain. “How smart and sweet and beautiful and brave you are. And how much I like you.”
“Alec.”
“She can’t wait to meet you. Wherever it is. Boston. Bliss. Alaska. Siberia. Trust me, she’s so thrilled I’m with you, she’ll go anywhere. And my dad and sister will be happy to make the trip, too.”
A belated thought strikes me. “Unless you’d rather not go back to Boston. With all the memories. We can have Thanksgiving at my place instead. That’s not a problem.”
Hazel stares at me for a few seconds. Her eyes go damp.
Shit. Did I make her cry?
Panic surges through me.
Shit. We just had sex—amazing sex—and now I’m ruining the moment by making Hazel cry. “Sorry,” I hurry to add. “We don’t have to. If it’s too soon—”
Her chin wobbles. Then she kisses me hard. “I would love to meet your family, Alec. I can’t wait.”
Oh.
Turns out my mom was right, after all.