Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
Luca
Opening the bedroom door, Luca peered out into the hall and into the quiet of his apartment. Dawson should already be awake as it was his turn to open the coffee shop that morning. Luca needed to be back to the surfing competition for the second round in a few hours.
Not that Luca’s mind was on surfing. No, he’d tossed and turned all night, thinking about what had happened with Brad in the tent. The best damn handjob that Luca had ever received.
It just wasn’t fair.
Brad was good at everything he did. Kisses, blowjobs, handjobs—whatever Brad put his mind too seemed to be done with perfection.
Stupid damn perfect man. And Brad might claim that he was no longer a Daddy but his words contradicted that claim.
It was confusing, frustrating, and a damn shame that Brad was locking that part of himself away.
The short hall from the two bedrooms led into the living room where Luca spotted the big lump under a blanket on the couch. Shit! That meant Dawson had a bad night.
“Dawson,” Luca called softly as he crossed the room. “Dawson, buddy, are you awake?”
A grunt was his only response.
At least that was something. Better than some mornings.
Luca sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.
The thick curtains that hung in front of the windows let in the soft morning light so Luca could see Dawson rolled into a ball.
It should be impossible for such a big guy to appear that small. And vulnerable.
It hurt Luca’s heart to see his friend like this.
Anger pulsed, making Luca fist his hands.
Dawson had been all alone in the world, fighting the ghosts of his past, until Luca had found him.
Adopted him as one of his own as James would tease him about.
Luca collected people like others did coffee mugs or cute little nicknacks.
Bringing Dawson home was one of the best things that Luca had ever done.
Even if he knew that Luca didn’t have the ability to help Dawson the way his friend needed.
“Hey,” Luca said. “What do you need?”
There was a sniff before Dawson wiped his eyes. “Nothing.” The response was so low that Luca barely heard it.
Leaning forward, Luca pulled the edge of the blanket down. “How about a chocolate milk?”
Cloudy green eyes blinked at him. “Extra chocolate?”
Luca smiled. “Of course extra chocolate.”
Dawson gave a small smile. Just the tips of his lips turning up.
“That’s what I thought. One double chocolate milk coming up.” Luca rose. “Do you need help up?”
Slowly Dawson pushed the thick blanket down. His cheeks were red as he nodded. “Please. Kind of shaky.”
Which meant that Dawson had suffered through an episode. “You should have woken me,” Luca said, reaching down.
Dawson shook his head. “You were tired.”
“Never too tired for you, buddy,” Luca assured his friend. He spoke with a soft tone. Dawson asking for help was something new for them. Once Dawson was steadier he’d apologize and promise not to be a bother again.
Baby steps. The councilors and VA reps that they met weekly had told Luca that patience would pay off with Dawson. And sometimes it would feel like they took one step forward and two steps back.
“You were awesome yesterday,” Dawson told him as he reached out both arms.
Luca braced his bare feet and hefted Dawson up and off the couch. “I’m glad you came and watched. It was nice seeing a friendly face in the crowd.”
“Everyone loves you,” Dawson said. “There was a ton of friendly faces.”
“Yours is my favorite,” Luca teased. Although the words were truthful. Dawson coming out and being in the middle of the crowd was a big deal. He’d done it for Luca though. Had been there to support Luca. It meant everything.
Dawson’s knees went weak but Luca was prepared for that.
“Take your time,” Luca urged. “We’re not in any hurry.”
“Legs are asleep,” Dawson said.
“Because you were bent like a damn pretzel, man,” Luca teased.
Dawson nodded. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“I’m sure it did.” Luca hovered for a few feet until he was sure that Dawson would make it back down the hall on his own.
“Got it.” Dawson waved Luca off.
Luca still waited at the entrance of the living room until the bathroom door closed.
Then he let out a long sigh. Not too bad of a morning after all.
Maybe Luca was figuring this out. Which might be a good thing since Luca had new worries.
Like the hot guy with the great hands who swore he wasn’t a Daddy but ended up acting like one anyway.
Damn it! Luca stomped into the kitchen. He was frustrated not knowing where he stood with Brad once again.
First the guy hated him, then sucked him off before walking Luca to his apartment like a damn gentleman.
Luca thought that was the end of things.
Brad had apologized. Luca had accepted. Everything had been settled.
Or Luca had thought.
Then Brad had witnessed Todd being a douchebag and Luca having to shut him down. And how did Brad react? He’d given Luca a handjob.
Like what the actual fuck?
He crossed the kitchen to yank the fridge door open. Luca pulled out the jug of orange juice and the milk and set them on the counter before pulling two clean glasses from the drying rack beside the sink.
One good thing about living with Dawson was that Luca’s apartment was always clean. Dishes done, floors vacuumed and swept, no dust anywhere to be seen. Luca told his friend that Dawson didn’t need to do all that but Dawson insisted that it helped calm his mind. Who was Luca to argue with that?
Luca poured himself a glass of orange juice and downed half of it before refilling it. He replaced the juice in the fridge before he started making Dawson his chocolate milk.
Dawson swore that Luca made the drink perfect every time. Luca didn’t do anything special. Just made sure that the chocolate liquid that he added was mixed really well. Even if it took a couple extra minutes there was no chocolate on the sides or bottom of the glass.
He replaced the milk and chocolate syrup as Dawson walked quietly into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools in front of the bar. Luca set the glass in front of his friend.
Dawson must have cleaned up in the bathroom real quick as he looked more awake with a freshly washed face. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Luca replied. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Dawson sipped his chocolate milk before he shrugged. “Bad dream and then I couldn’t see. I couldn’t get my body to work. I crawled to the couch.”
Luca tightened his fingers around the glass in his hand. He didn’t have the words. This wasn’t something that he could fix. Luca wanted to, tried his hardest, but he couldn’t.
Dawson hunched his shoulders. “Sorry.”
“You have no reason to be sorry,” Luca told him. “We’re in this together.”
Dawson shook his head. “It’s not fair—”
Luca reached over and stole the glass from Dawson’s hand.
Dawson gasped, reaching for the glass.
Slowly Luca brought the glass to his lips, taking a small sip.
“Hey!” Dawson whined.
“Only family gets my extra-special chocolate milk,” Luca said. He took another sip.
“Brat,” Dawson said but he smiled.
“Duh.” Luca set the glass down and pushed it toward Dawson. “The best brat there is.”
“Someday you’ll find a Daddy to put you over his knee,” Dawson told him.
An image of Brad doing just that flashed in his mind and Luca nearly knocked over his juice.
Dawson saved the glass, pulling it away before lifting a brow.
“What?” Luca scowled.
“What did you do?” Dawson asked.
“I didn’t do anything!” Luca didn’t sound convincing at all. Damn it.
“You did something,” Dawson argued. “And I bet his name was Brad.”
“I didn’t do Brad,” Luca corrected. “He just sort of… I mean he might have…”
The thing about Dawson was he was a good listener. Too good of a listener. And he knew how to wait Luca out. The patience of a damn saint.
Luca huffed.
“I don’t have all morning since I need to open the shop soon,” Dawson drawled.
“Breakfast?” Luca offered.
Dawson paled.
“Shit! Sorry.” Luca knew that Dawson didn’t eat after an episode. The chocolate milk was one of the few things that Dawson was able to tolerate. At least for a few hours.
“It’s fine.” Dawson waved his hand. “Make yourself something to eat while you tell me what you did.”
Luca rolled his eyes. “I didn’t do anything!”
“Mm-hmm.” Dawson watched Luca with those intense green eyes. They were still a little cloudy but much better than earlier.
“Or,” Luca responded, “we can pretend nothing happened at all.”
“Ha!” Dawson pointed at him. “Something did happen.”
“Shit! Fine.” Luca knew that he was going to get all kinds of shit for this.
Since he could grab something on the way to the beach, Luca decided against cooking anything.
The smell might get to Dawson and Luca didn’t want that.
Instead he could just use Dawson as a sounding board.
Maybe Dawson would have a better idea of what Luca should do.
Luca didn’t want to stop messing around with Brad. The older man was just so sexy. And kind of sweet when Luca wasn’t mouthing off to him. The problem was that Brad had made it perfectly clear that he would never be a Daddy again. Some asshole had ruined that for Brad. For Luca.
“I’m waiting,” Dawson said.
“Brad jacked me off in the rest tent yesterday,” Luca blurted out.
Dawson choked on his chocolate milk, nearly snorting it and ending up spewing it over the counter.
Slowly, Luca backed to the sink and reached behind him to grab the towel to toss it onto the mess.
His friend was glaring at Luca but he caught the towel and started to wipe up the spilled milk.
“You wanted to know,” Luca pointed out.
“I don’t want to know that!” Dawson argued. Then he sighed. “Tell me what happened from the beginning.”
Luca grinned. “Well there was this asshole—”
* * *
Brad