Epilogue #2
“Even if I wasn’t busy, I never want you to worry,” he told her.
It was his turn to look toward the falls, his eyes unfocused.
“I regret the course I started on after we fought that day, and you left. I didn’t know if my family had noticed how I felt about you.
I would have been smarter to be honest with them, but I wasn’t smart.
I wanted to make them think that I was like that with everyone rather than have them realize my heart had been broken.
” He sighed. “I was also very angry with my father for refusing to offer your father any incentive to stay in the capital. I learned quickly that I could get an excellent reaction from my father if I was caught kissing girls from the court. For an embarrassingly long time, making my father angry was all I cared about. And even after that wore off, the more I heard that I was the irresponsible, wayward one, the more I decided to get entertainment out of my reputation instead of fight it. Theo was the archetype of the responsible, dutiful prince, and frankly, the prospect looked hideous to me. So I pushed in a different direction.”
He looked over at her at last. “But none of that was your fault. We were both suffering, and you were the only one being brave about it. What a dog I was to call you a coward.”
“And how cruel I was to call you unreliable,” Alina countered.
“I don’t know how you figure that,” Xavier said reasonably. “It was true.”
“Yes, it was.” Alina laughed, her mirth only increasing at the rueful look in Xavier’s eyes. “In many ways, you were unreliable then. But that doesn’t mean I was right to say it. Certainly not as a response to you telling me you loved me and wanted to promise me forever.”
“It crushed me,” Xavier admitted. “And I did blame you for a long time. But it was never your fault. It only hurt so much because I knew it was true.”
“Not entirely true,” Alina said softly. “You’d never been fickle toward me. It was cruel of me to assume you would be, just because you hadn’t yet grown into the immense responsibility you were born to carry and couldn’t escape.”
“You’re too generous to me,” Xavier told her.
She shook her head. “I’m not. Maybe you chose to be irresponsible, but time cured that. There are worse things. You didn’t choose to become bitter and angry and willing to hurt innocent people to get your revenge.” A heaviness settled on her heart. “Like my aunt.”
Xavier said nothing, just squeezing her hand.
There was nothing to say. After the conspiracy was uncovered, Aunt Diana had fled across the border before she could be apprehended.
From the little they could so far discover from the captured criminals, she was unlikely to get sanctuary on the continent.
It seemed more likely they would show her no mercy, given she’d failed in her role.
Alina had learned that there was a history of people who’d entered into murky relationships with the continent meeting a sudden and tragic end.
Like her parents. She would never be able to prove it, but she had little doubt they were killed by agents of the continent because of whatever her father had learned during his dealings with that forbidden land.
Once he came under suspicion and fell from grace, he became a liability to the cause.
Whatever precisely that cause was.
The worst of it all was that Alina’s cousins had lost their mother, in an even worse way than Alina lost hers.
She’d asked Xavier if maybe the family could live in the capital, so they could keep an eye on her cousins.
He’d told her that would be up to her uncle.
The investigation was still ongoing, but so far it really did seem as though even Alina’s uncle hadn’t known what his wife was up to.
“What do you think their plan is?” Alina said. “Whoever is behind it all?”
“I don’t know,” Xavier said heavily. “We should assume they would still wish to annex the Peninsula if they could. They’re clearly also motivated by seeking advancements in magic craft.”
“But why were they going to take me to the coast?” Alina asked.
“Is there a sea route between the Peninsula and the continent that we don’t know about?
I wish we had more answers. Do you think we’ll be allowed to attend the meeting your parents are planning with representatives of the other crowns? ”
She knew that the Siqualians hadn’t yet had the opportunity to tell the other kingdoms of the Peninsula all they’d learned about the continent’s advances in magic storage, and to strategize together for how to respond to future threats.
“If you want to attend the meeting, I’ll make sure you’re given a seat,” Xavier assured her.
“I heard there’s talk of sending a group to Pulau to meet with them,” Alina said. “Are you going to try to join?”
Xavier shook his head. “You’re remembering that I used to have some fascination with the island kingdom. But I’ve never felt less like charging into unknown lands for adventure, Alina. I want to stay here with you.”
“I want that as well,” Alina admitted. “I was hoping you wouldn’t have to go.” She tilted her head. “Something Miriam said makes me think she wants to go.”
“Mim?” Xavier was surprised. “She’d probably benefit from a little adventure, but I don’t see anyone letting her join. It will be Theo, I imagine.”
“You’re probably right.” Alina bit her lip. “I hope it’s not a mistake to send people across the sea.” Her captors’ mysterious determination to take her to the coast for further experimentation had really been playing on her mind.
“Don’t be uneasy, love.”
Xavier slipped down from his mount and offered his arms up to her. She was glad to slide down into them, wrapping her arms around his back as he lowered his face.
“No one is whisking you away to any coasts,” he murmured into her hair. “All that matters right now is that you’re safe. And I don’t intend to let you out of my sight.”
Alina had to laugh at that. “We’ve just established that we never see each other,” she pointed out.
Xavier was disgruntled. “Don’t ruin it when I’m trying to be romantic. You’re as bad as Zuzu.”
Alina laughed. The anzu did have a habit of interjecting herself in a very unromantic way any time they tried to steal a kiss or a moment of private conversation. They probably had only minutes before she interrupted them.
“But be practical, Xavier,” Alina said innocently. “You can’t keep me in your sight at all times. It will be hard for you to maintain your habitual quota of flirting if you’re constantly with me.”
“Not at all,” he said promptly. “It will make it easier.”
“Xavier.” She batted at him, already half-laughing. “You’re supposed to say that you’re not going to flirt anymore.”
“I don’t think I can promise that,” Xavier said sorrowfully.
“I think the habit runs too deep to break. It’s just going to be concentrated to one target.
I think flirting with my wife will be far more fun than flirting with people I despise, anyway.
I intend to flirt with you constantly, so prepare yourself. ”
“Heaven help me,” Alina murmured, a dimple appearing in her cheek. “You’re an irresistible force, Your Highness.”
Approval rumbled audibly in Xavier’s chest as he wrapped his arms around her and tugged her so close her feet left the ground. He lowered his face to hers, and caught between laughter and longing, Alina returned his kiss with satisfaction.