Chapter 1
Chapter
One
IRIS
Ten Years Later
“Hey Iris? Can you come take a look at this? I keep trying to format this report, but it keeps getting wonky,” Charlotte calls out to me as I walk by her cubicle.
I head toward her desk, leaning over to look at the sheet.
“Hmm. Let me see,” I murmur as I take her mouse and start clicking around.
I swear the entire office thinks I am a witch. Anytime anyone has problems, they always call me first. I guess that’s how we set it up when we came here, though.
Being an assistant doesn’t leave you even when you are promoted to the chief financial officer position.
It doesn’t help that my boss is still Maximilian Williamson.
He is the best guy I have ever met, but I don’t think he knows how to tie his shoes without me by this point.
“Oh, there. You see that? You have a period there. It’s making the formula think this field is invalid. Let’s remove that, then…” I wave at the screen as the document formats the correct way.
“Thank you, Iris. Gosh, I swear pregnancy brain doesn’t leave because you have a baby. I promise I am getting better.” Charlotte looks up at me, embarrassed.
“Stop worrying and show me that adorable baby girl,” I tell her.
She opens her phone and starts showing me pictures.
My heart pangs at the sight of her new baby. I haven’t seriously thought about a family in a long time, but now that I am thirty-three, that clock inside of me is ticking louder and louder.
When will it be my turn?
I spent a decade of my life focusing on building a career.
I always only meant for my position at The Williamson Hotel to be temporary.
A stepping stone to the next best thing.
Then Max happened, and I couldn’t justify leaving him.
Not when he paid me more than I could ever make elsewhere and practically let me act as him when he wasn’t available.
I went from an executive assistant to his most trusted confidant. It didn’t matter that my title never changed because everyone at the company knew who I was.
They respected me.
When Max’s brother Mason wanted a change so he could be closer to his newfound family, Max offered to give up his cushy job at the hotel to take over as CEO of Williamson Group.
I could have stayed. Mason would have let me, but it wouldn’t have been the same.
So I followed Max and landed the CFO job without even an interview.
Now I’m wondering if all my hustling all these years was worth missing out on the parts of life I can never get back. Is it too late to find someone to settle down with?
Dating in my thirties is a scary idea.
I look over my shoulder down toward where my office sits next to Max’s.
I always thought it would be him. That one day he would wake up and that chemistry from the day we met would flare back to life. That he would give me everything I ever hoped for.
A decade later, and I’m still waiting.
“She is beautiful, Charlotte. I want more pictures later, but I need to go now. Max is expecting me.”
She smiles. “Of course. Thanks again.”
As I leave her desk, the familiar sadness sets in. I never noticed it before, but a couple of years ago Max found out he had a niece that neither he nor Mason knew about. When she came into our lives, that changed. My view of the world started to morph.
Now I don’t know how to be content with the life I once loved while missing the one I pushed away.
Walking into Max’s office, I shut the door and plop down on the loveseat he has in the corner.
“Are you all right?” he asks, some humor in his voice. “Please don’t tell me it was Benny asking you out again. He is a good security guard, but he should know better.”
I wave my hand at him.
He’s right. Benny has been hitting on me, but I would never shit where I eat, and he knows it.
Still, I look over at Max.
If he gave me any indication of interest, that rule would fly out the window.
“Do you ever wonder if we took the wrong path?” I ask him.
He frowns. “What do you mean? I know you don’t love the new green initiative that I started, but straws are really bad for the environment. People will get over not having a straw in their drink.”
I shake my head. “Not that, although we are seeing a dip in sales from the restaurant from it.”
He sets down the papers he was reading and comes to sit next to me on the loveseat.
“Talk to me, Goose,” he jokes, referencing one of our favorite movies, Top Gun.
“I wonder sometimes if I didn’t wait too long. Should I have been living my life outside of this place all of these years? I feel like my future is slipping away from me. All I have is this place. I have nothing to go home to every night.” I grab the pillow next to me and hug it to my chest.
He reaches out, brushing his hand on my elbow. “Hey. You’re not alone. You have me, and you know my door is always open.”
My heart is beating faster in my chest. Is this the moment I have always been waiting for?
“I want a family, Max. Babies. I can’t do that without someone to do it with.”
He moves closer and lays his head on my shoulder. “You want babies?”
“I do…and a husband. And the white picket fence I pretend is stupid. I’m thirty-three, Max. I need to start dating.”
It is silent in the room. I can feel Max swallowing against my shoulder.
This is it. Proclaim your love for me. Please.
“If that’s what you need to do, you know I will support you. You’re my best friend, and all I want is to see you happy.”
My heart deflates. In fact, it feels like it shatters all around me, and I force myself not to cry.
Ten years of crushing on this man, and I really had myself convinced that one day he would see me as more than his friend.
Enough is enough, though. I can’t keep living in a stalemate.
I need to move on.
“Thanks, Max. I know we are supposed to meet, but I think I want to work alone for a bit. Is that okay?” I ask him, praying he doesn’t hear the shakiness in my voice.
He moves to stand before helping me up, and he pulls me into his arms for a hug. “Of course. We can meet later. These budgets aren’t going anywhere.”
As I let go, I force a smile. “Thanks. You’re the best.”
I only wish he hadn’t just crushed my dreams.
MAX
She wants to date.
Fuck.
She wants to go out on dates with men who aren’t me.
I don’t know how to handle this. She has worked for me for a decade, and it has taken all my willpower to constantly push away my feelings for her.
In that time, she has never once dated anyone, and neither have I.
Our friends always joked that we would get married one day.
Even I always thought that one day maybe something would pan out, but how?
Iris is the epitome of a professional woman. I know without a doubt she would never cross the boundaries laid forth by society. It is taboo to date your boss, even if it is becoming more prevalent these days.
I mean, shit, technically all of my friends have ended up with someone that worked with or for them.
My brother Mason had a one-night stand who ended up having his baby before she worked for him at the hotel.
He didn’t know about the baby, which was a fiasco on its own, but they are now happily together.
Then there’s Eli. He was the CFO of The Williamson Group before Iris took his position. He went to take over our foundation and find the culprit who was stealing money from us, which he did at the same time that he fell in love with Adrianna, his feisty assistant who is now his boss.
Then there’s our playboy buddy Brantley. Never thought I would see him settle down, but he ended up roommates with our favorite little spitfire, Chloe, and offered her a job. I don’t even know all the details, but they are shacked up together for good now.
If they could make it work, why can’t we?
Iris isn’t like that, though. She makes being professional look like a hobby she enjoys. She never says anything inappropriate. She is always put together. She is where the standard is.
I could suck it up. Go into her office right now and kiss her. Tell her I don’t want her to date. I will be the father to her children. I love the idea, actually. We could be perfect together. No one knows me better than her.
Brantley might be my best guy friend, but Iris is my best friend over all of them.
She was there through everything. She was my assistant when I took on the position at the hotel.
She helped me shape and build it into the success it is today.
She held my hand as I watched my mother be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
She let me cry on her shoulder about the woman who hurt our family so much, yet I still hold love in my heart for her.
She moved away from her home with me to go on this adventure so my brother could be with his family.
Every single time in my life I needed someone in the past decade, it has been her there to help me. I don’t know how to live without her.
I open my phone and go to the secret folder I have. It’s filled with different candid pictures of her I’ve taken over the years. I look at them from time to time when I, myself, am feeling lonely.
I have always wanted her. I’m not the guy to take that risk, though. The crippling social anxiety I have barely lets me function as CEO. She is the one who is always next to me, helping me through those situations.
If we date and it goes wrong, I not only lose my best friend, but I also lose my CFO.
It’s a catch-22. If I don’t tell her how I feel, I will lose her emotionally anyway. She will date and find a guy who won’t deserve her, but she will love him, and our friendship will take the back seat. I will still have her here, but it won’t be the same.
If I do date her, it will affect how we are here. If she doesn’t quit out of morality, people will look at her differently, and eventually that will get to her. I know her, and she won’t like the comments she will get even if they are unfair.
Being a woman in the business world is harsh. I have tried to shelter her from it as best I can, but I know her. She will move on. Then I might have her in my bed, but this office would be cold and lonely without her.
So which is more important to me? Having her here or in my bed?
At the moment, I can’t think about either.
My chest starts to tighten at the thought of making that decision. I can’t lose her. I refuse to.
Maybe I will get lucky and she won’t find someone she likes. It’s such a bastard thought to have. It’s selfish.
Still, she could have a baby without a partner. I would be there to help raise them. We could co-parent and keep the status quo.
As soon as the thought hits me, I know it’s not right.
I can’t deprive her of love or the baby from having a real family. Not when I know how important it is to have those connections.
Sighing, I rub my hand down my face.
I need to let this play out. Let her date and see how it goes. If she isn’t happy, then I will tell her my feelings and swallow down the fear of losing her here at work.
That’s the plan. I can handle this.
I can handle anything.
I type out a quick text to Iris.
Me: Meet at noon? We can have lunch as we go over these budget reports.
It takes her a minute to respond back, but the emoji she sends makes me smile.
Iris
Only if we can have .
I laugh. I hate sushi, but she loves it, so I suffer.
Me
Anything you want.
I mean it too. I would give this woman anything in the world she wants, even if it means I have to let her go, taking my heart with her.
Who needs a heart anyway?