Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
IRIS
“Are you sure you don’t want dessert?” Ivan asks me once more.
I know he is clinging to this date for some reason, but the chemistry isn’t there. He isn’t the man for me. Not only does he seem to be intimidated by my position at work, but he has nervously chattered on and on about his pet bearded dragon all night.
I don’t mind him being nervous, but I already know lizards are a hard no for me. He would never get rid of his lizard, and I would never ask him to, but I can’t be around them. They are one of my biggest fears.
Give me a spider any day. It’s a no on any reptiles.
“I really should be going. I have an early meeting. It was lovely to meet you, though,” I tell him as I leave my napkin on the table and stand.
“I can walk you to your car,” he tells me as he rushes to stand, knocking the table.
I feel bad for the guy. I want to like him. I really do, but I don’t, and I can’t change that.
“Ivan, you are a sweet guy. You are going to make a wonderful boyfriend one day, but be honest with me. Do you even like me? Like as more than a friend,” I clarify when I see him poised to say yes.
He thinks it over for a second before he shakes his head no.
“Exactly. This was a great date. It has nothing to do with you or me. We just aren’t compatible.
Now I am going to put some money down on the table to cover my half of the bill because I don’t want you to pay for me when this felt more like friends.
I want you to go home and cuddle with Lizzy.
” I suppress the shudder at his bearded dragon’s name.
“She probably misses you. One day, you will meet a girl who will love Lizzy as much as you do. Keep trying and don’t get discouraged. ”
He nods. “Thank you, Iris. That is kind of you.”
I pull money out of my purse and throw it on the table, giving him one more smile before I head out of the restaurant.
This is why I didn’t want to date people in New York City. I love that it is so diverse here, but that also means the dating pool is harder to navigate.
The trip home isn’t a long one. It’s only a subway ride down a few stations until I get off where my apartment building is. As I walk up to it, I sigh.
I miss Boston.
Sure, it’s a city too, but New York feels like another country sometimes. I miss the simple life I led back in Boston.
Ignoring the pangs of sadness, I wave to our doorman as I head into the building. It isn’t long until I’m in my apartment, changing into my comfy clothes.
I shoot a text to Bethanie to check in, still feeling guilty that I haven’t clung to that relationship more. Then I sent one to the group chat letting them know the date was a bust.
I’m about to settle in to watch a rom-com when my phone rings. I sigh when I see it’s Max.
Part of me doesn’t want to talk to him. The wounds from the date are so fresh. I know comparing my date to him is part of the reason the poor guy didn’t stand a chance. Still, I answer because it’s Max, and I always answer.
“Hey,” I mumble into the phone.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, forgoing his greeting.
“Nothing. Just feeling melancholy. What did you need?” I ask.
“It’s not important. Are you home?”
“Yes,” I mumble again.
“All right. Give me twenty minutes. I’ll be there.”
He hangs up, leaving me to wonder if I should have told him to stay away.
Looking at my phone, I open up my email app. There at the top is the offer from the Astor Conglomerate.
I should turn it down. Tell them to take their poaching ways and get out of here.
Then again, it’s a position I think I would enjoy. It’s in London as well. My second favorite city besides my hometown of Boston.
I look to my window, seeing the skyline of New York City.
I can’t stay here much longer. The city is sucking my soul.
So I open the email, and I type out a quick response.
Thank you for the opportunity. I can’t make any promises, but if you are available to meet in person at the London office during the fifteenth and eighteenth of this month, I would be happy to stop in and discuss this further with you. Please let me know your thoughts.
Best Regards,
Iris Howard
I feel guilty as hell, but I also feel like I would regret not even hearing what they have to say. Many times over the years I have been offered jobs at other companies, but it was always as an assistant. No one ever saw my worth as more. It’s hard being a woman out here.
This is the first real opportunity that has presented itself to me that I would actually consider taking. The only thing stopping me is Max.
If Max wasn’t my boss and I hadn’t spent ten years with him, I wouldn’t hesitate to take this position. The money is comparable, the city is a much better location for me, and the job is something I would truly enjoy.
Still, the thought of leaving Max behind makes me feel like I have hives. How did I let this one man burrow under my skin so deeply?
Logically, I know that Max would be fine without me. He has grown so much over the years. He would find someone to fill my position and move on with his business.
We would mean to stay in touch, but the thought of Bethanie enters my head.
I wonder if the ocean between us would cause a rift similar to that with Bethanie. Would I go from talking to him every day to only catching the highlights reel of his life on social media?
Would I be able to live with that?
MAX
As soon as she answered the phone, I could hear the sadness in her voice.
I don’t know what happened, but I know how to make it better.
I know if I had asked, she would have told me that she was fine and to go home, but I didn’t give her much of a choice.
I could never leave her sounding the way she did.
She would never allow me to push her away either. It’s what friends do.
I was going to invite her out to dinner, but instead, I think she needs ice cream, so after grabbing a cheap deli sandwich and her favorite pint of summer berry swirl along with a single slice of vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream frosting, I’m rushing to her apartment.
I scarf down the sandwich along the way, waving to our doorman with my mouth full as I head through the front door. When I reach her place, I type in her door code, letting myself in.
“In here,” she calls to me.
I don’t like the tone of her voice.
Bypassing her living room, I head into the kitchen and unload the bags. Then I cut the slice of cake in half and place it into the bowl, the second half going into the fridge for later.
I fill the bowl with the ice cream, making sure to get lots of the berry swirl before I grab a spoon. Grabbing my own pint of mint chocolate chip with a spoon, I head into the living room.
Her eyes light up when I hand her the bowl.
“Max, really? You didn’t have to.” She smiles so warmly at me.
Of course I did. She doesn’t know she holds my heart in a vise grip.
“You want to talk about why you are so sad?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “Not really. I miss home.”
I want to tell her about what I talked with Mason about, but it’s too soon. We have nothing in place yet. I need to wait.
So instead, I nod. “I do too. I don’t regret coming here for Mason, but sometimes I wish I was back at the hotel.”
She laughs. “Me too. Even as your assistant. Life was easier back then.”
“Is it not easy now? If you aren’t happy with what you are doing, we can change it,” I tell her.
She shakes her head. “No. I’m happy to be the CFO. Sure, it’s not the most exhilarating work I have ever done, but I like working for you. This company has been good to me.”
“If that ever changes, you promise to let me know? I’d do anything to keep you,” I remind her.
She gives me a small smile. “I was about to watch Crazy Rich Asians for the millionth time. You down for a rewatch?”
“Of course. You know I love when Rachel puts Queen Mom in her place,” I tell her.
She laughs. “It is pretty epic.”
As she puts the movie on, she settles into the couch. I get closer to her, grabbing the blanket to cover us both with off the back of the couch. She gives me a smile as she continues to eat her treat. I dig into my own, enjoying just being with Iris.
When she finishes her bowl, I take it to the kitchen and stow my ice cream in the freezer next to hers. Then I wash the dish and put it in the drying rack. When I come back to the couch, she has her eyes open, but they are drooping.
I should excuse myself, but I’m not ready to leave yet. So instead, I slide in next to her and wrap my arm around her. She lets her head fall onto my shoulder and lets out a sigh.
“Sometimes I wonder if all the movies I watch are why I have so much trouble dating,” she whispers.
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“Look at them. They are in love. Something tears them apart, but true love always prevails. Right? That doesn’t happen in real life.”
“I think our friends would say differently,” I tell her.
“Yeah. I guess they would. It’s hard to date in today’s world. I wish I hadn’t waited so long.”
My heart hammers in my chest.
This is my moment. I could tell her that I love her right now. Admit that I want her as mine forever. We could have that perfect friends-to-lovers story that she often loves in some of these movies.
I go to open my mouth, but before I can utter a word, she continues.
“I’m glad I have you, though. You’re my best friend. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you.”
My mouth shuts, my heart slowing as reality sets in.
She doesn’t want to lose me like I don’t want to lose her.
So where does that leave us?
“I’ll always be here. You know that. I would give you the world if I could.”
She snorts. “How about a date who doesn’t have a lizard? Or a guy who doesn’t send a dick pic as an opening to a conversation?”
I cringe. “Seriously? You need to get off the dating apps. Why don’t you use the matchmaker service made for people like us?”
She laughs lightly. “They match you with other wealthy people. I don’t care if a guy is wealthy. I only need to know if he will treat me right and if we can love one another. All the rest is just noise.”
I breathe in deeply. “Well, I will wish upon a star for you that you get the man of your dreams. You deserve to have everything in this world that you want, Iris.”
She burrows closer to me. “Thank you, Max. Ooh, our favorite part.”
As we watch Rachel diplomatically tear into the woman who crushed her dreams, I lean against Iris a little more.
I want her to have the man of her dreams. I only wish that man was me.