Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CATALINA
"I don't know about this." I leaned on my crutches, my eyes on the doors leading into the rink. They currently stood open to allow the crowds for tonight's game inside. Crowds who stopped to glance at me before they hurried past.
I never wanted to be a local celebrity like this. The fuss and gossip would pass, but for now it seemed like everyone knew who I was and what happened to me. One more pitying look and I was going home.
"It's a very good idea," Marley said. "What better way to prove you're not beaten than to come back here?"
"What Marley-Jane said," Eden said. "According to my therapist, facing the past is a good way to get past it."
I glanced over my shoulder to that corner of the car park.
Since the attack, lights had been installed there.
The cars parked underneath were illuminated as bright as anywhere else.
Would things have been different if those lights were there all along?
If he couldn't attack me there, he would have chosen somewhere else. The clinic. My home.
Small mercies, I supposed. I had little reason to come here now. I could avoid the place and those memories if I wanted to. But Eden was right, I had to face what happened.
I turned back to my friends. "I didn't know you were seeing a therapist."
Eden shrugged. "I have been for a while now. I can give you her details if you like."
"That's probably a good idea. I can't keep dumping my problems on you two," I said.
Marley gave me a careful hug. "That's what friends are for, remember? To help you get through the bad times and celebrate the good shit. No matter what, Eden and I are here for you."
I hugged her back. "You're the best. Both of you." I hugged Eden too.
"Of course we are." Marley grinned. "Now, are we going inside?"
I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay, let's do this." I lifted my chin, gripped my crutches and made my way through the doors and over to the stands.
I didn't want pity, but I was grateful to the people who moved aside so we could sit on the lowest row of benches.
"Front row." Marley sat beside me. "All the better for the team to see whose jersey you're wearing." She flashed a wicked grin.
I set my crutches down between Eden and me and grabbed the hem of my hoodie to pull it over my head.
Underneath, I wore a white jersey with blue and grey, the Ghouls’ colours.
On the back was Shaw's number, seventeen.
The defenceman gave it to me before the game, saying he wanted everyone to know who I was with.
By everyone, I assumed he meant Easton and Cruz.
Marley sat back and regarded me. "I never thought I'd see you wearing a hockey player's jersey."
I shrugged. "I decided to make an exception." Shaw wasn't like any other player I’d ever met. He was intense and had his share of arrogance, but he didn't run from my problems and my injuries. Not like Jason had.
I admit it crossed my mind that Jason was the one who attacked me. He was enough of an asshole to do something like that, but it didn't match up with the things my attacker said. Unless he was telling me to stay away from Melbourne.
In the end, I honestly couldn't see him bothering. He was too wrapped up in his own little world to give me that much thought or effort.
None of that stopped me from mentioning our past relationship with the police. I got a small amount of petty amusement from imagining the expression on his face when they approached him to ask him questions.
"You really like him, don't you?" Eden asked.
I blinked to bring my thoughts back to the present. "Yeah, I do," I said.
"That's good," Marley said. "Because I have a feeling you're not getting rid of him that easily."
I laughed. "I have the same feeling. That's better than a guy who runs at the first sign of trouble."
"Shaw would definitely not run," Eden agreed. "He'd stand between you and trouble every time."
I'd told them about the incident in the hospital with him, Cruz and Easton.
They both agreed Shaw kicking the other guys out was hot as hell.
In a platonic, they-would-never-go-there kind of way.
I suspected Shaw would cut off his own cock before he cheated on me, especially with one of my best friends.
"The team is coming out." Marley elbowed me in her excitement.
I watched with a feeling of dread and anticipation.
The crowd cheered for the Ghouls. The cheer for the opposition was less enthusiastic, but I barely noticed.
My eyes were on Shaw as he walked out with the other guys and started to warm up.
He glanced at me and gave me a faint smile, but his attention was on the ice, specifically on Cruz and Easton.
The two wingers both noticed me sitting in the front row. They exchanged glances, which seemed wary.
Cruz flashed me a grin.
I flipped him off.
Easton laughed at him.
I grabbed my crutches, pushed myself to my feet and turned around so they could both see the back of my jersey.
When I sat down and put my crutches back beside me, I was in time to see both guys giving Shaw a dirty look.
Shaw smirked in response.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Dean practising groin stretches. At least, that was what he was supposed to be doing. He was glaring daggers at all three of the guys before he turned the look on me.
The coldness in his eyes gave me chills, even from here. A shiver went down my spine. Then a horrified flash of understanding.
Like a bolt of lightning right to my brain, I realised the truth. When I didn't think he could look colder, he did. His expression was one of pure hate. He curled his lip at me before pulling his mask down to cover his face.
"Fucking hell," I whispered.
"What is it?" Marley gripped my hand. "Are you okay? Is it your leg? Does it hurt?"
It ached like a bitch, but that wasn't what I was worried about right now.
"I need to get out of here." I gathered up my crutches and pushed myself back to my feet.
"Cat—" Eden started, but exhaled loudly. "We'll come with you."
I wanted to tell them to stay and watch the game, but the idea of being alone right now was terrifying. I nodded and hurried toward the door, leaving them to catch up.
I stepped out into the night, but the cold air did nothing to refresh me or clear my head. My whole body was trembling the way it did that night. In my mind, I relived every moment, second by second. Every punch, every kick, every word.
"Cat?" Marley said tentatively. "I know the memories of skating there must be difficult. We should have given you more time to—"
I cut her off. "No. That's not it. I mean, it is, but it isn't." I hadn't had a panic attack in years, but I was having one now.
My heart was racing. My palms were slick with sweat.
I wanted to throw up everything I'd eaten for the last week.
I could barely put together two words, much less a sentence.
When I finally did, it was a whispered stammer. "I… I know who… Attacked me…"
"You know who…" Marley started. "Holy shit. For real?"
I nodded and swallowed hard. "There was a reason why I couldn't identify his voice. It's because I've never heard him speak."
Marley glanced around and pulled us further away from the door so we wouldn't be overheard.
"He who?" she asked gently.
"Dean Hayes," I whispered. "The Ghouls' goalie."
They both looked uncertain.
Eden asked, "Why would he do that?"
I shook my head slowly. "I don't know. I can't explain it, I just know it was him. The look he gave me a minute ago." I shivered to think of it. "I swear, it was him."
"We need to tell someone," Marley said.
"Tell who?" I asked. "What would I say? He gave me a look, therefore he must be guilty as shit? That's not going to be enough for the police."
"So you tell Shaw." Eden shrugged. "I get the impression he knows how to deal with Dean."
"He'll kill him," I whispered. "What if I'm wrong?" But I knew I wasn't. Not about this.
"He doesn't seem like the sort to kill first and ask questions later," Marley said. "He'll want to know why."
My breath misted the air as I exhaled heavily. "You're right. He'd want to know, even if it's only about Dean looking at me like that."
"If it was Dean, then you know it wasn't Cruz or Easton," Eden pointed out.
"So what?" Marley asked. "They still made that stupid bet. And talked about her behind her back. Who does shit like that?" She made a face.
She'd always been good at being pissed off at people on my behalf, right back to Ruby Fredrickson, who put yellow paint in my hair in kindergarten.
Long after I put the incident behind me, Marley was still angry and vowed revenge.
Which she got, by putting red paint in Ruby's hair. Sometimes I missed those simple days.
"They were assholes, but they didn't try to kill her," Eden said. "That's all I'm saying."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Can we stop arguing, please? I need to get my head on straight and go back in there." And find a way to stop my stomach from rebelling. I preferred not to leave lunch in the middle of the car park.
"You don't have to," Marley said. "We can take you home if you want. We don't mind missing the game. You're more important than hockey."
"I have to go back in and pretend I don't know," I said. "If anyone asks, I freaked out about being back in there. That's all. We'll go in, sit down and enjoy the game."
"For your sake, I can pretend to enjoy it," Eden said.
"Not just for my sake," I said. "If this blows up now, it destroys every chance the Ghouls have of joining the AIHL. For Shaw and for the guys who have nothing to do with any of this, we have to wait and deal with this quietly. For Opal Springs too."
The last thing any of us needed was for the crowd to turn into an ugly mob.
If they knew what Dean did to me, and the way he risked the construction of the arena, they'd be furious.
He'd be lucky to walk away from their anger.
Opal Springs wasn't usually known for its violence, but too much was at stake for them to forgive his actions.
Even if the townspeople didn't get involved, the team would.
Unless they decided to defend him and turn on me further. Fuck, this whole thing was a mess. For a couple of hours, I could act like nothing was up.
I hoped.
"That's why you're the brains around here." Marley pushed her glasses back up her nose. "Okay, let's lift our chins, walk through those doors and watch us a hockey game. All hell can break loose later."
All hell sounded about right. I felt like my hand was hovering over the button, ready to let a bomb loose on all of this.
Suppressing the panic as best I could, I walked between my two best friends and sat down again, keeping my eyes as far away from Dean Hayes as I could.