Chapter 31
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CATALINA
We drove back in the direction of Opal Springs without speaking. We sang along to the music pumping through the speakers, but didn't talk about the kiss or whatever his surprise was.
I let myself relax and enjoy his company. It could be all too easy to forget about the past and see what the future held with him and Shaw. Would Cruz fit into this equation? He'd have to work harder to gain my forgiveness. If he could put his ego aside long enough to try.
About ten minutes out of town, Easton turned the car onto a smaller road, then a dirt track. The going was rougher here. I clung to the handle as we bounced over dips and rises.
"Should I be worried about where you're taking me?" I tried to keep my voice light, but the further into the bush we went, the higher my anxiety rose. I pictured Dean bringing me out here in the boot of his car to kill me and bury me in a shallow grave.
My hands started to tremble.
Easton glanced over at me. "Fuck." He slammed on the brakes, making the car skid along the dirt until it came to a stop a metre or two from an embankment.
He threw off his seatbelt and leaned over the centre console to wrap his arms around me. "Cruz is right, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm sorry. I should have told you what was going on. I wasn't bringing you out here to do anything bad to you, I swear."
I leaned against him, inhaling his scent and taking comfort from the strength of his arms.
"I know you're not," I said in a shaky voice. "I just freaked out. I still have nightmares about that night."
He rubbed my back slowly. "I bet you do. Well, I would bet if I was a betting man. Which I used to be, but I've learned my lesson. Never again. Unless…"
I tipped my head back and looked at him. "Unless what?" I hoped he wasn't about to suggest some other stupid bet about some aspect of my life.
"Opal Springs has a yearly snail race," he said with a grin. "The team takes part every year, but the winnings go to charity."
I snorted. "I know all about the snail race. You can bet on that all you want." The Children's Hospital got all the money. And the snails went free after the race.
He stroked my hair softly. "I'm sorry I'm such a dickhead. I should have explained. I wanted to surprise you, not scare the shit out of you. We can go back if you want?"
I glanced out the front windscreen. The dust had almost settled from our skid, leaving the sight of huge gum trees and thick underbrush.
He sighed. "You don't trust me."
"I want to," I said slowly.
"Can you give me five more minutes to prove you can?" he asked. "If I can't do that, I'll…"
I waited for him to finish his sentence, but he didn't. "You can't bring yourself to say you'll back off, can you?"
He hesitated, but only for a moment. "Five minutes."
"Five minutes," I said softly.
He grinned and straightened the car to continue down the track.
A minute or two later, the trees gave way to an open paddock, filled with tall grass, a wide dam and several kangaroos.
Easton turned off the engine and pushed out of the car. He came around to my side and opened the door.
"This was what I wanted to show you."
"You wanted me to see you have a few roos loose in the back paddock?" I teased. I couldn't resist using the idiom that suggested he was a bit crazy. It was too perfect for the situation.
He laughed and grabbed my hand to pull me out of the car.
"I'm not saying you're wrong, but that's not the point.
I wanted to show you this place because it's important to me.
" He turned serious. "I grew up with six of us living in a two-bedroom house.
It was so small, you couldn't turn around without falling over someone.
We never had much money. I lost count of the amount of times I went without breakfast or lunch. " His eyes glazed as he thought back.
"I started stealing things so I could eat. Then I graduated to beating up the kids in my class for their lunch. Me and Cruz. We'd split everything we got." He swung our hands between us as we walked to the edge of the dam.
"We were lucky to get the attention of one of the teachers.
Instead of yelling at us and treating us like shit like the rest did, she got us involved in a program for kids like us, to do sport.
We both played footy, but we got to try ice-skating one time and we both fell in love with it.
She got us a scholarship to learn how to skate.
She was the one who started the Ghouls. She said something about redirecting our energy to something productive.
And we got to punch other kids once in a while and not get in trouble for it. " He grinned.
I rolled my eyes. "You started playing hockey so you could punch people?" I squeezed his hand. I understood exactly what he was really saying. If not for that teacher, he and Cruz would have ended up in jail. Or worse.
"Cruz got into it for the women." Easton said jokingly.
"I'm not surprised one bit," I said. "You never thought you'd play professional footy?" There was violence and women in football, after all.
He shrugged. "Yeah, but we fell in love with hockey. And we were both good at it. We could have gone pro already, but we both feel like we owe the Ghouls. If it wasn't for the team, we'd be completely fucked."
He stared out at the dam. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed back emotions that seemed to still be raw.
"We don't want any more kids growing up like that in Opal Springs.
Not if we can help it. That's why Cruz and I are obsessive about the team.
It's not just because we want to succeed.
We want that too though, not gonna lie." He frowned briefly.
"There's a saying. Something about leaving the world a better place than you found it.
That's what we want to do, y'know? It doesn't justify being a prick to you. "
"You were protecting what was yours," I said. "I get that."
He turned to me. "Can you? Because I think we could have done it better than being massive pricks."
"Yes, you could," I agreed. "I haven't ruled out racking you both in the nuts for it."
He laughed, but it ended in a sigh. "I'd hire a skywriter to write 'sorry' in the sky if I thought it would help. But all I have his this."
He gestured around us. "I haven't even told Cruz about this place.
The first thing I'm going to do when we go pro is buy this place and build a house.
Two houses. One for us to live in and the other to use as a place to support kids like I used to be.
Kids who need a break from all the shit in life.
They can come out here and…just be, y'know?
With a gym to work out their frustrations.
Maybe some gardens they can look after so they can feel proud of something. Stuff so they feel valued."
I looked up at him and smiled. "Easton Grant, if I didn't know better, I'd think you're a big softy."
He grimaced. "Fuck, don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to be a big, bad hockey god. Don't forget, I would have killed Dean for you."
"How could I forget?" I asked. "That was one of the hottest things I've ever seen."
Easton raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really? There I was, thinking you were the softy."
"I'm a vet," I said. "I've had to euthanise animals for doing things like he did."
His other eyebrow rose. "That's dark, but I like it. Should I have finished the job? Don't forget, Shaw was the one who talked me out of it."
"You'd be in jail right now if you had," I said. "That wouldn't help the kids of Opal Springs. Or the Ghouls. There's still a chance you'll be chosen for the AIHL."
"We will be chosen," he said firmly. "You know what, I'm glad I didn't kill him. He can rot in jail, thinking about what he did, for a long, long time. He won't get to enjoy any of this."
The idea that Dean would be free again someday, gave me chills, but for now I was safe from him. If I thought that often enough, maybe the nightmares would stop.
"I love you," Easton said, breaking me out of the thought.
I blinked at him a couple of times. Had I heard him right? He loved me? Of all the things I expected him to say today, that wasn't one of them.
"You don't have to say it back," he said quickly.
"I just wanted to say it. The moment I saw you, I was completely gone.
Being a massive prick to you, some of it was a defence mechanism.
I don't like feeling vulnerable. It leaves you open to bad shit.
But I realised, if I'm not, then I'm missing out on a whole bunch of life. "
"Have you said the same thing to Cruz?" I ask bluntly. I knew he felt that way, I saw it when they were together. When they kissed. Thinking about that made me hot all over again.
Easton glanced down at the water. "No. This is where you tell me I should, isn't it?" He kicked at a piece of grass with the toe of his worn sneaker.
It was easy to imagine him as a kid, trying to get by from day to day. A lot of guys would have crumbled under that, but he hadn't. He was stronger than even he realised.
If the AIHL turned down the Ghouls, he'd find a way to do what he was determined to do. If he pulled it off, he'd make a real difference in Opal Springs. He made me realise I needed to up my game. I couldn't let what Dean did to me stop me from making a difference too.
"If you really want to live your life, then there comes a time when you have to stop holding back," I said slowly.
"I've been doing that since the attack and I don't want to do it anymore.
Skating with you reminded me of that. Being free, living in the moment.
That's everything." I was done being scared and hiding from myself.
It was time for me to reclaim who I was.
From then on, I was going to live my best life.
"I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with you," he said. "Like you're telling me this is the moment where I either back away or jump off and see where I land."
"I feel the same way," I said. Did I dare to jump? Did I dare to let him in and live his best life with me? Could I really put everything behind me and be with him and Shaw? I wanted to. I looked deep inside me and found the sliver of fear had whittled away to almost nothing.
"Do you trust me?" he whispered.
I let that last shard of restraint wither away and die. From this moment on, I was giving life everything I had. That included giving Easton everything I had.
I looked him right in the eyes. "I trust you." I meant it. I was his.
He wrapped his arms around me and slammed his mouth down onto mine.