Chapter 56
Chapter Fifty-Six
Sebastian
I walked out of the conference room, my head buzzing with a nagging headache, desperately needing a stiff drink. If the Lathrops could make us beg them for this deal, it still probably wouldn’t have been enough to land it.
Lathrop Castle was one of the oldest estates in Scotland, and they had run it into the ground. It needed major renovations to get the place up to code—all its plumbing needed to be updated, replacing every last pipe, and the shoddy electricity in the main castle and its surrounding outbuildings was downright hazardous. The Lathrop family had acquired the castle in the seventeenth century and, in my estimation, hadn’t done much to keep it updated. I was surprised they had electricity at all, regardless of how dodgy it was.
They’d been upside down in the estate for decades and finally concluded that they needed to act. Since it wasn’t a wise financial decision to employ the army necessary to restore and maintain the house for private use, the Lathrops chose to turn it into an exclusive hotel.
Many owners of estates in disrepair sold their castles to the government for tourism, but this family was hellbent on not doing that; luckily, we had an option that allowed them to avoid that scenario. We planned to come in with our capital and renovate the place, giving it the facelift needed to bring it back to its original glory (with all the modern amenities, of course). Obviously, we needed to see profits from that in short order, and that’s what our creative publicity team would handle by marketing it to wealthy tourists.
“Well, you sold everything but your balls to seal that deal, and yet?—”
“They would rather cut them off, fry them, and eat them,” I chuckled, nodding to the waitress who set my freshly poured bourbon before me. “God, sometimes, I don’t understand people.”
“It’s an emotional investment,” Titus Hawk said as he sipped his scotch. “I get it.”
“Oh, you get it?” I eyed him. “You haven’t had to deal with anyone coming to take over your father’s hotel chain yet, tough guy.”
“True,” he smirked. “But I know how I’d react if that day came, and that’s why I understand their viewpoint.”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Quite honestly, you didn’t need to be here to watch my ass get handed to me today either.”
“Oh, hell yes, I did,” he chuckled. “The fact that you and I are teamed up on this is amazing. I finally get to sit back and watch you do your thing, wise guy.”
“Well, my thing isn’t much of anything anymore. I’m exhausted as hell. I haven’t stopped for months now.”
“How’s life on the personal front?”
“Not talking about that,” he said.
“They really did take your balls in that room, didn’t they?” he challenged with a grin.
“If you want to think that’s why I’m not speaking of my personal affairs, go ahead,” I answered.
“I met Darcy Burke,” he said, and my heart dropped.
Titus chuckled, “By the looks of your clenched fist, I can only assume you’re not over her?”
“As I said, I’m not speaking about my personal life, Titus.”
“The last time you and I were together, you looked great. You were high on life, and now you look worse than you did after Melissa passed away.”
I exhaled. Titus was like my brothers; he wouldn’t let it go even if I knocked him out, and he woke up wondering what day it was.
“I just don’t need a reminder of something else I fucked up on top of not being able to nail this deal down in the first shot like I usually do,” I said. “I’m happy you met her. She’s an amazing, vivacious woman.”
“So, that’s it?”
“What do you mean? What else can I do but cut my losses and move on?”
“By your tone, you’ve done anything but move on.”
“There’s no point in figuring out where I fucked it up with her,” I said. “How can I fix something I broke if I’m probably just going to break it again? She’s better off without me,” I locked eyes with his and took a gulp of bourbon. “You and I both know that.”
“Yes, I completely agree with that,” he said, which pissed me off more.
I wanted to ask how she was. I wanted to know if she’d moved on over these last months, and I wanted to know what she was doing. What did she think of the winery? I knew if I started to ask those questions and hearing about her life, I’d be a fucking mess and unable to concentrate on anything.
Being separate was for the best. Darcy would hate being in a relationship with me, a man who didn’t have the proper time to devote to her, making her lonely and miserable. All I had to offer her was money, and Darcy had already made it clear that money didn’t drive her happiness.
I got in over my head believing that I could balance work and personal life when I was with Darcy. A lot of that was because I fell for her while taking some rando vacation, something I’d never done for myself. During that downtime, I was so relaxed that I lowered my guard and allowed myself to develop deep feelings, which I quickly learned I couldn’t get away from.
Darcy had returned my last call while I was in a meeting, and she didn’t leave a message, so I knew she had to be pissed as hell with me. I’d already fucked up by having weird reservations about our relationship and burying myself into work at the winery. Then, the night before I left to go on this damn business tour, John spoke with me and sounded a lot like Titus did right now. His words were just a reminder of why it could never work with her.
I didn’t understand why I couldn’t stay in the relationship without fucking things up. With Melissa, it wasn’t long before she told me my work schedule was ruining her life, and she already knew what she was getting into with a man like me.
Things would be worse for Darcy because she genuinely had no idea how this part of my life went. If she couldn’t handle my busy schedule while working at the winery, she’d never be able to deal with the rest. I wouldn’t neglect her, either. She deserved better than me. She deserved a man who worked a regular job and could give her all of his time, not some asshole who was born and bred to work until the day he died.
So, as a final mercy to her, knowing it was best to end things before they turned into something detrimental to her, I felt it was best not to call her back. I’d told her I wouldn’t hurt her, and if things grew any more than they already had, that’s exactly what would’ve happened. I knew it. My wife was raised to endure a man like me, but Darcy wasn’t. This wasn’t a life she’d want. I knew that.
“If I let you continue to sit in silence, I think you might blow a brain fuse with that look on your face,” Titus said, cutting into his steak.
I blinked a few times, brought my head out of the clouds, and saw the plate of food I’d ordered growing cold in front of me.
“You know what’s ironic about what happened between me and Darcy?” I said, my appetite waning.
“There’s no telling,” Titus answered, more concerned with his steak than my sad story.
“I promised I wouldn’t hurt her,” I said, taking a sip of water.
“Who?” Titus said, pretending to be as stupid as he looked.
“Darcy, dipshit,” I said with a smile. “The funny part is that I wound up being the one who’s hurt.”
“How so? You seem to be the same bastard I’ve always known,” he taunted.
“I thought that since I fell for the woman so quickly, it would fade just as fast. I figured I could easily get over her, but every damn day I haven’t been in her presence or seen her name pop up on my phone has been fucking painful.”
“They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Titus answered.
“I used to call bullshit on that, but perhaps it’s true?”
“You’re lovesick, my good man,” he answered, “and too much of a coward to find out if she’ll answer the phone when you call her after all this time.”
“Before Darcy, I was never afraid to contact a woman I was interested in. Darcy is the only woman who has made me fear rejection.”
Titus set down his fork and knife, and his eyes studied mine. “You’re in love with her,” he said. “That’s easy to see, and that’s also why you fear her rejection. You were never in love with the others.”
“I’d have to be in love with her if I’m willing to have this conversation with you,” I chuckled.
“True because I don’t imagine I’ve ever seen you so weak and distraught,” he smiled. “And I know exactly why you’ve fallen for her.”
“You do?” I said, curious.
“Indeed,” he raised an eyebrow at me. “I invited her for a nice date two weeks ago when everyone believed you’d thrown her out permanently like the other ones you grew bored of before you settled down with Melissa.”
I felt my heart hammering in my chest. Jealousy was fueling rage, an emotional response I didn’t think I had inside of me until this very moment when I wanted to knock Titus Hawk completely out.
“Go on,” I encouraged dryly.
The dumbass went on.
“She insisted we eat tacos on the beach,” he allowed his eyes to wander, which prompted my imagination to wander.
“I trust you saw a different side to her?”
“As I said, I understand why you fell in love with her,” he answered nonchalantly. “I can also say I’m happy you’re unwilling to work to keep her. Not like you’re willing to land the Lathrop deal, anyway.”
“What the hell do you mean by that?” I snapped.
“You’ll stop at nothing until that family has been charmed and fully persuaded to trust that working with you is the best thing for them; however, when it comes to Darcy, you’ll let the first man who comes along sweep her off her feet and ride her off into the sunset so that you can continue to wallow in pity.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I snarled at his truth. “You’re a fucking prick.”
“I’ve been called worse, and even then, it didn’t hurt my feelings,” he taunted.
“Is she interested in you?” I had to ask because this asshole had spun a web and caught me with his bullshit. Now, I had to know if I even had a chance at getting Darcy back.
“She seemed rather taken by my eyes,” he smirked.
I rolled my eyes, “Every woman on the planet has been taken by your eyes.”
“Well, you know Darcy,” he said, folding his hands in his lap and leaning back in his chair. “What do you think?”
“I know Darcy well enough to know she wouldn’t let you fuck her because of your eye color,” I said, my irritation running the show. “I also know that if she made you eat tacos on the beach, she was testing to see how much of a stuck-up bastard you are and seeing how far you’d stoop to her level just to get a piece of ass.”
“Is that what she did with you?”
“No, that was not the case with me. She wanted nothing to do with me. In fact, I think she was just trying to teach my pompous ass a lesson about how to be happy because I was such a miserable fuck.”
“In reality,” Titus said, his cocky tone changing to a more serious one, “I have no idea what Darcy’s game was. I tried to date her, but she wouldn’t have it. She’s a firecracker, that one. Regardless, you know me, and I’m unwilling to settle down anytime soon. I don’t see myself going in that direction for a very long time. Perhaps she saw that in me and knew I was a complete waste of her time, or perhaps you have hurt her deeply, and in the midst of your martyrdom bullshit, you haven’t even considered that.”
“I hadn’t,” I said, feeling the words weigh heavy on my chest, “but I also know that being with a man like me?—”
“Oh, fuck off, Seb. You’re as irritating as you are ugly, you know that?” Titus shook his head, laughing. “Why don’t you let her decide that , huh? Let her choose whether you’re worth the trouble of living the kind of life you live. Why are you making all these stupid, impulsive, brokenhearted, pathetic life decisions for her?”
“Well, because I know she would hate all of this.”
“You know that for a fact, eh?”
“She said that money doesn’t equate to happiness for her?”
“It shouldn’t equate to happiness for anyone ,” Titus answered. “Just because you’re a busy man with more money than Scrooge McDuck and are away from home all the time doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want you. Love is love, friend, regardless of circumstances.” He looked at me with a flash of pity. “I swear to God, man. Did your parents ever allow you boys to date and figure this shit out on your own, or did they just shove the next intended bride-to-be who fit the bill in your face?”
“I sound like a fucking idiot, I know,” I said.
“You do. What you’re doing, deciding for Darcy that she is better off without you, essentially taking away her choice, is as fucked up as your parents choosing your wife for you. Have the hard talk, buddy. You can’t lose something you’ve already lost.”
“You’re right,” I nodded, feeling terrified and anxious with a sprinkling of hopefulness. “Tell me what you know.”
“Huh-uh,” Titus said, shaking his head. “No way. You get nothing from me. You’re the one who went dark on her, expecting she would move on and live happily ever after. You can’t get angry if you manifested that and made it all happen, but you won’t know until you ask her yourself.”
“Fair enough. I’ll call her,” I said, frustrated and scared out of my mind.
Titus put his hand up, “Don’t make a call, man. Go have the conversation like a man, face-to-face, just like you would if you were trying to close a business deal.”
“Fucking hell,” I said.
“That’s what your father will say if we can’t figure out how to get this family on board. I expect we’ll have these people signed by tomorrow, and you will be on a plane out of here soon after unless you chicken out and change your mind.”
“I’ve made her wait long enough. I’m going to her.”
“About that. She’s had a change of address. She lives in Mexico now,” he said, tightening his lips and enjoying my discomfort a little too much.
“Mexico?”
“You know, where the margaritas taste best?”
“You are going to close this deal, and I’m going to call some friends and try to figure out where she is living and precisely how badly I fucked this up to force her to move to Mexico.”
“Your fuck-up didn’t force her to move to Mexico,” Titus said. “She seems full of life, choosing happiness and herself over all else. She mentioned something about finally being clear-headed enough to start living the life she should’ve started long ago.”
“What about the magazine?”
“I was the subject of her final article, and then she quit because she thinks that work has been a life-sucking waste of her time. She got a job doing diving excursions for a travel agency, and she is really enjoying the freedom it has allowed her.”
“I’m glad you know more about her than I do,” I said, mildly irritated.
He grinned. “Well, shouldn’t I? I didn’t hide behind business to avoid a beautiful woman when I found one. Sadly, your dumb ass ruined her for me. Because of you, she’s pigeon-holed me into some billionaire bastard category, and she won’t give me a chance.”
“Thank God for that. At least I did one thing right, protecting her from the wolves I should’ve known would come once I left.”
With that, I took my suitcoat from the back of my chair and left Titus to finish dinner alone. I needed to call Jim, hoping he might have an update about Darcy. Before I went to Mexico, there was one extremely important person I had to pick up on the way.
These past few months, I’d not only been working hard in my business dealings, but I’d also been dedicated to seeing my daughter regularly. I even took her to Disneyland Paris when I had to work in France during Christmas. I wanted to send Darcy pictures of the biggest smiles I’d ever seen on Charlotte’s face because it was then that I finally understood what Darcy had meant about bonding through watching your child’s joy. It was a life-altering moment that’d changed me for the better, and I wished Darcy could’ve experienced it. Now was my chance to tell her and show her.
I just had to hope and pray that I could get my jet to Mexico without anyone stopping me. I wanted Darcy now more than I ever had. After all these silent months, I knew that Darcy was my other half, and even if I showed up in Mexico and she refused me, I would find a way to make things right.