ONE WEEK LATER
It had taken an entire week for me to hear back from Jabari.
When I’d walked into that conference room and seen him, my heart had melted.
Except for the one time he looked at me when I walked into the room, he hadn’t given me a second glance, and that had caused my heart to plummet.
In my mind, he was done with us, over me, and disgusted with the entire situation.
He called me earlier today and invited me to dinner at an upscale restaurant that was more like a lounge. They served both Indian and Italian cuisine.
We were in a little room with a couch, low-slung tables, and paintings on the wall. There was a fireplace on one wall, but it wasn’t lit because it was a warm day. There was a wall that held nothing but windows, and it looked out onto a gorgeous stream and a forest of trees.
The place was an intimate and serene spot that I had never heard of before. Jabari had probably chosen it for its secluded location.
“How have you been?” he asked after our meal had been served and the servers had left the room.
“I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life,” I replied.
I didn’t have much of an appetite as I stirred my fork through my fettuccine.
“Love and hate walk a fine line,” he commented grimly.
“I see. I’ve been angry before, and I’ve been hurt. I’ve never been so hurt that I didn’t care what happened next, or so angry that I wanted to destroy someone’s life the way you’ve been destroying mine.”
He set his fork down and sat back in his chair. “I’ve been so hurt that I didn’t care what happened next, and I didn’t think I’d find myself back here again, but you put me here.”
“I know, Jabari. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve to be deceived.”
He laughed bitterly. “I kind of expected it from you, though. You are who you are—a reporter. It’s in your nature. I ignored my own warning, so that’s on me. It was no worse than what the ones I truly trusted did.”
“You want to talk about it.”
He narrowed his gaze at me, and a small smirk tilted his lips.
“Let me guess, you don’t trust me,” I declared.
“Do you blame me?”
“I don’t. I’d hoped that I had proven my intentions by now. I’m not even fighting you for my magazine or to restore all you’ve taken from me.”
His gaze softened before he dropped it to his plate. He pulled his fingers thoughtfully through his beard. “You’re right. I wanted to trust you, Camilla, the way that I hadn’t trusted anyone in a long time. I was so close to opening up to you before this happened.”
“My intentions weren’t pure at first, but I fell for you over time, Jabari.
I wanted your story, and to have you featured in my magazine.
I thought if you lowered your guard, you might show me the side of you no one else saw, and that if you came to trust me, you might agree to do an exclusive with my magazine.
I was wrong to use you for exposure, and I’m sorry.
I never expected to fall for you, though.
Do you think that you ever will trust me again? ”
“I don’t know. Only time will tell.”
“I hate it when people say that,” I replied with light laughter.
“It’s true. Why don’t you tell me what you learned from my father?”
“I will. In exchange, would you tell me where he disappeared to? No one has seen him in a while.”
He chuckled. “My father is in a facility that will help him deal with his gambling and alcohol addictions.”
“Where?”
“Fair Oaks.”
I whistled. “That’s an upscale facility. Kind of like a retreat.”
“It is, but it’s structured, strict, and they have routines that will be beneficial for him.”
“And it will also keep him from talking to reporters and selling your story to the highest bidder,” I replied, knowingly.
He nodded. “Yeah, and that.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what I was stepping into when I chased after him.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He said that you used to be a drug dealer, and you were heavy in the streets. When an argument arose between your brother and you, you killed him and some other guys over drugs and money to ‘level up.’ He said that it was because of you that your mother died and that he turned to gambling and alcohol. He said that you also left the girlfriend behind who you vowed to protect and love.”
“And when he told you that story, all you saw was a monster, right?”
“No. I saw a man who had to change his life and identity if he wanted a shot in this world where no one cared about the truth, where lies and drama were preferred because they were more sensationalized.
Was I shocked? Yes. Did I become worried?
Absolutely, but I never feared for my safety or feared you.
“I’m a reporter in my heart, Jabari. Because of that, I always know there’s more to the story than what the eye can see. I never stop at surface-level thinking—I get to the heart of it all. That’s what I wanted to do with you, but you pushed me out.”
“You could see how it would look bad to me though, right?”
“I do. I will work hard to prove to you that I’m sorry for that. It won’t just be my words but my actions, Jabari. Please, just don’t shut me out—don’t give up on us.”
He dragged his hand down his face and looked out of the windows. I reached over and took his hand in mine, and with my other hand, I turned his face back to me. “If you’d care to tell it, I’d love to hear the entire story—your story. It’s not to be published, but so that I can understand you.”
He turned away again, but this time his jaw clenched, and his eyes took on a distant look. He remained quiet for several long minutes, and I feared after a while that he would do what he always did—find a way to distract me. When he did open up, I was surprised.
“My brother was feeding the Opps information on my crew and me for drugs. I’d refused to sell him anything because my mama and daddy begged me not to feed his crack, coke, or meth habit.
I didn’t. He was my big brother, and I loved him.
I hated seeing him the way that he was, but there wasn’t shit I could do about it but honor their wishes.
“One of my boys told me to watch my back because some other guys were eyeballing me to take me out. He informed me that they were getting information from someone in my inner circle. I didn’t want to believe it.
When they came after me the next day and tried to rob and kill me at a spot no one knew about, I knew that he was telling the truth. ”
“Are you sure they were trying to kill you?”
“When men pull out guns on you and shoot at you, trust me, pretty lady, they’re trying to kill you.
Only one person knew where I would be—my brother, Malik.
It was either them or me, and I chose me.
I killed two of the guys on the spot, and the other two escaped.
The first thing that I did was hunt my brother down and confront him.
We argued, and I told him to stay away until he was ready to own up to what he’d done.
“I told him that I was gonna lay low, and I told him where he could find me when he was ready to apologize. When I returned to my place to grab a few things before I disappeared, I learned that Malik stole my stash. I laid low for a couple of weeks, but the other two guys hunted me down again.”
“And Malik was the only one who knew your location?”
“Right. That was intentional though, because I knew he would tell them where I was. I wanted to lure them out of hiding. Again, I chose my life over theirs. That was when I returned home.”
My heart was so full for Jabari. “I can’t even imagine that type of betrayal.”
“I had been back on the scene for a couple of days, and I dropped the word on the streets that I was back. As expected, he came around begging for forgiveness and hoping I’d sell him something.
His regular guys were dead, so they were no longer an option for him.
Like a fool, I forgave him again, and he stole from me again when I was sleeping.
“When I woke up and realized what happened, I went looking for him to save him. The coke he’d gotten his hands on wasn’t mine.
I had stashed it for someone else, and it was cut with fentanyl, and he wouldn’t survive.
When I found him, I was too late. He’d already snorted way too much.
He was high out of his mind, and he was talking about how life was better without him.
He said this way Mama and Pops didn’t have to hurt so much, and neither would I.
He said he would never be able to kick his habit, because he didn’t want to.
I sat back and watched him die. It wasn’t easy; it was the hardest decision I had ever made.
I didn’t call for help, though, because I knew he was right. ”
My heart broke for him. I couldn’t understand what he was going through. My life had never been set up that way, and Courtney and I had always been close. We always had each other’s backs, and I couldn’t imagine her betraying me or vice versa.
“That broke your parents, I can imagine.”
He sighed. “It did. In time, Mama died from a broken heart, and Sam—well, he took to the bottle even harder. He blamed me for Malik’s death.
Even when I told him the truth, he said I should’ve worked harder to protect him—I should’ve left the game to prevent him from overdosing.
He said that if I knew that shit was laced, I shouldn’t have had it on me because I knew how Malik was.
When he said that, it was like the light went out in his eyes.
Then he accused me of doing it on purpose.
No matter how much I denied it, he didn’t believe me.
Our relationship has never been the same. He’s in and out of my life.”
“He was always an alcoholic?”
“Yeah. He started drinking before we were born, but he turned into an alcoholic around the time that I was six—full functioning, but an alcoholic nevertheless.”
“Of course he didn’t paint himself in that manner.”
“He wouldn’t.”
We sat in silence for a while. I wasn’t as shocked because of course I knew about the things that happened, but not why they happened.
Jabari had given me more understanding than Samuel had.
Samuel had presented it like Jabari had been a reckless drug dealer who had taken out several lives to get to another level of the game.
Not once had he mentioned that Malik attempted to get his brother killed and robbed, not once, but twice.
“I’m so sorry for the part that I played in all this, Jabari, or at least in bringing it back to the forefront.”
He sighed and pushed up off the couch. We had finished eating, and I hadn’t had much of an appetite anyway. I watched as he walked to the large picture window and looked down onto the stream below. “I’m sorry that I’m not the man you thought I was.”
As he shoved his hands into his pants pockets, I stood and walked to where he was standing. I moved behind him and wrapped my arms around his midsection. Before I rested my face against his back, I professed, “You’re exactly the man I need, the one I want, and the one I love.”
Jabari turned around in my embrace, and he narrowed his gaze as he watched me closely.
“Could you ever forgive me for betraying you?” I asked.
“You did what you thought you needed to do. When I became involved with you, I knew the risk that I was taking. I knew that I was playing with fire, and I could get burned.”
I brushed my lips against his, but his were unyielding. I pulled back and searched his hard gaze and rubbed his stiff jaw. “Please forgive me, Jabari. I was wrong, but my feelings for you are real. All I want to do now is protect you—please let me love you.”
“Your fire hurts, Cami.” He lowered his head and rested his forehead against mine for a moment.
I pulled back and then covered his lips with mine.
He relented when I slipped my tongue between his lips to deepen the kiss.
It was sensual and demanding, and he yielded to everything my kiss asked of him.
When he pulled back, he stared into my eyes with a heavy-lidded, lust-filled gaze.
“But I don’t want to put that fire out.” He spoke in a low, sexy tone that had my thighs clenching and my pussy calling out for him.
As he had in the past, Jabari had paid to have the restaurant shut down while we dined. There was no one there but the owner, and the kitchen and wait staff. Someone had placed a Do-Not-Disturb sign on the door at Jabari’s request.
I dropped to my knees and gripped his erection through his pants. His arousal was evident through the massive bulge that didn’t fit in my hand. I unzipped his trousers and pulled him free of the restraint. I licked the tip of his head to clean the precum away, but I found myself longing for more.
“Mm.” I moaned when the salty taste hit my tongue. It was with eagerness that I slid him further to the back of my throat. My tongue loved on that man like it was as glad to see him as I was. My lips puckered around him and created a tight seal as I slid him back and forth.
His moans were salacious and made my panties wet. Jabari released a groan, undid his tie, and bent down to tie my hands behind my back with it. When he finished, he gripped my head and fucked my mouth hard and fast in deep, punishing strokes.
It was over for my makeup because my eyes released as much water as my lips did. I was certain that I used waterproof mascara, but the way the tears flew from my eyes, I was sure it was challenging the mascara.
He fed that dick down my throat to the point that I was choking. He reached down and grabbed my neck with one hand and fisted my hair with the other. It was rough, but I wasn’t giving up. His thrusts were strong, and the hold he had on my neck and in my hair grew tighter.
When he released, it was with a strangled yelp, and he emptied so much cum down my throat that I knew he hadn’t been with another woman.
With my hands behind my back, I had handled that man like I was a professional throat goat.
He knelt and kissed me after I swallowed his cum.
I was fairly certain that I was back in Mr. Blackwood’s good graces.