Chapter 38 #2
“Even more, I hope you will allow me a chance to offer you my friendship again. I know I lost it due to my own behavior two years ago, but I have missed our conversations and hoped you would consider exploring London with me this Season.”
Elizabeth’s mouth opened slightly. She was dazed by his words, but all he could think of now was how much he wanted to kiss her pink lips.
It was for the best that Richard and Mr. Gardiner returned then with refreshments. Elizabeth stood and walked to the back of the box to retrieve her glass and speak with her uncle. He could not help but think she had moved to escape him.
Somehow, the seating arrangements were upended, and she found herself in the far-left seat of the front row.
Mr. Darcy was to her right, but his cousin sat behind him with her uncle and aunt to his right.
Although they were all still in the same small box, she felt alone with Mr. Darcy.
This could not be helpful for the rumors, which she had not heard since the start of the second act.
She leaned back as far as she could in her seat to be less visible to other audience members.
“Has this all been too much?”
Mr. Darcy’s warm eyes glowed with compassion in the candlelight as he leaned toward her ear.
“What do you mean?” To see the stage, she now had to face Mr. Darcy, but he seemed intent on ignoring the players in favor of speaking with her.
“I know you heard the gossip during the first act, and I want to assure you it does not bother me except as it affects you. I meant what I said about wishing to regain your friendship, and I will not allow society’s opinions to drive me away.”
“Truly?”
“Truly. It may take time for you to trust in my friendship, in me, again, but it is my desire to show you how much I value your own friendship. Your conversation has always set me at ease, and I cherished your good humor. I have often been sorry to have lost it. Forgive me. I did not mean to—”
Mr. Darcy pressed his handkerchief into her fingers, and she realized her cheeks were moist with tears. As she dried them, she wondered whether she could believe him. Should she?
“But the terrible things we heard tonight. Would it not be better to avoid each other entirely?” She prayed he would disagree while knowing it would save her a great deal of heartache if he would ignore her forevermore.
“But then who would take you to Vauxhall Gardens or to see Du Bourg’s Models?”
She laughed in surprise.
“Have you been to the gardens yet?”
“No, I have had unsavory ideas about the place since my friends all went there without me.” She smiled, but she did not lie.
Whenever she heard of Vauxhall Gardens, she thought of Miss Bingley attaching herself to Mr. Darcy.
Not that she would have turned down a chance to go with Edith or Priscilla, but they had never talked about it.
“Then we certainly must change your mind. Would your aunt and uncle like Vauxhall, do you think? We could walk through the grounds before the sun sets and then view the twinkling lights before taking dinner in the boxes. I will arrange for a boat from Westminster.”
Elizabeth looked down, hoping to hide her smile. How she had dreamed of such an excursion when she had been a silly girl of sixteen.
She was not sure she should trust Mr. Darcy’s offer of friendship.
She did not understand it. She was not that child any longer, and were it any other man inviting her to the theater, the opera, and a romantic evening at Vauxhall, she would have thought he wished to court her.
He had clearly said he wanted her friendship, though.
He had said at Mrs. Humphrey’s ball that he was sorry for their break.
Was it possible he was going to such effort because his friend would soon marry her cousin?
It would become increasingly difficult for them to avoid each other if Jane moved to London after she wed.
He did seem to be going to a lot of trouble, but what else could his motive be?
He had to be doing all of this for Mr. Bingley and Jane.
Then she thought of another motive and felt sick.
“I no longer believe Mr. Wickham, sir. I know he lied about you. I am ashamed I ever believed him, and I am sorry for what I said to you last month at that ball. But you do not need to protect me from him anymore. I have no interest in seeing him again. You have already saved me.”
She tried to appear fierce, but her defiance was crumbling as she accepted that Mr. Darcy’s purpose was merely to satisfy himself that she did not think ill of him.
“Please believe me, Miss Elizabeth. As much as I hated seeing you under that man’s power, my desire for a renewal of friendship with you has nothing to do with the blackguard.”
“It does seem odd, though.” She spoke even more quietly than they already had been, and he leaned closer. She surreptitiously breathed in his scent and decided to ask her aunt to arrange for some orange tarts or at least lemon biscuits on the morrow.
“What seems odd?” He was speaking nearly in her ear, and she felt his warm breath on her cheek.
It seems odd that you suddenly want to spend time with me again. It seems odd that you showed up exactly when I needed you most. It seems odd that gossip about me angered you two years ago but has no effect on you now. Of course, she could say none of this.
She looked past him to see whether her aunt noticed anything amiss in their quiet conversation, but she was watching the play. Elizabeth shook her head lightly.
“Thank you for the invitation. I should be pleased to see Vauxhall Gardens with you.”