Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy had arrived together for her birthday dinner.
They had both greeted her with their best wishes, and the children had come down.
Her cousins had already met Mr. Bingley in London, of course, and he had played with them on Longbourn’s grounds.
They warmed to Mr. Darcy quickly, as well, and Elizabeth was given the lively evening she had hoped for.
Mr. Darcy did not look at her in the way he had at Vauxhall or Covent Gardens.
She was relieved to know where she stood with him, and she felt more comfortable smiling and teasing him along with her cousins.
He spoke to her as a friend but spoke most to Bingley and her uncle; he was also amiable to her aunt and cousins.
When the gentlemen had departed that night, she acknowledged a small hole in her heart where previously she had imagined some warmth from him to reside, but overall, she was happier, though she was surprised.
She realized he had filled in a larger hole in her soul, from which his friendship had been missing for so long.
Though she had seen him several times recently, her birthday was the first time she had felt as though her friend had returned to her. She was concerned about her own feelings growing, but she could tell his heart was in no danger, so she would hide her affection for the sake of their friendship.
Hiding her feelings from her aunt was also necessary.
“Lizzy, stop a moment,” her aunt said a few days after her birthday. Elizabeth had been passing through the drawing room but sat to hear her.
“I took tea with several of my friends yesterday, and they brought some disturbing news.” Aunt Gardiner put down her mending and glanced at Elizabeth before looking away. Elizabeth waited until her aunt looked back and resumed her speech. “It was about you and Mr. Darcy, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth held her breath, expecting what was coming.
“My friends carried rumors of slander spread throughout London. Have you heard these tales claiming you as his mis-mistress?” Aunt Gardiner could barely finish the question.
“I have, Aunt. Mr. Darcy has apologized, and—”
“Perhaps it would be better if we did not see him anymore.”
Elizabeth had felt this herself, but she had since resolved to ignore the gossip.
“Mr. Darcy and I are nothing but friends, and we have never done anything wrong. We follow the rules of propriety and are never alone. Rumors have followed me all my life, Aunt, but they do not define me. Please do not forbid our friendship now that he has finally returned.” Elizabeth had not meant to become emotional, but her voice wavered, and she stilled to await a reply.
Aunt Gardiner sighed. “Your uncle said the same.”
Elizabeth relaxed.
“You must be vigilant, however Lizzy. A young woman’s reputation is fragile.”
Over the next few weeks, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy took her out riding more than once.
Matthew always stayed nearby. She was excited to have the use of a fine animal Mr. Darcy said he kept in town.
For four years, she had wished to ride a horse around London, and Mr. Darcy was giving her the chance.
Usually, they met at Hyde Park or St. James’s not long after dawn.
Mr. Bingley overslept more often than not and did not join them, but Matthew always rode nearby.
A couple of times, Mr. Darcy had brought a horse to Gracechurch Street and had begun teaching her how to ride on the city streets.
This was far more taxing than rides in a park, though they rode before the streets were crowded, but it was exhilarating, as well.
Although they were in the city, the smell of the horse and the feel of the reigns in her hands reminded her of home and of her long rides during her childhood.
While they rode, Mr. Darcy questioned her on what other London attractions she wished to see, and then he and Mr. Bingley met her at art museums and booksellers.
They also indulged her interest in old buildings whenever they came in their way.
Mr. Darcy expressed an interest in seeing Dutton’s library on Gracechurch Street and met her there late in March.
Dinah and Matthew both joined her that day, although Mr. Bingley did not.
By the end of March, Elizabeth felt she truly had her friend back.
They had not been exposed to any more rumors, as they went into the fashionable areas of town only in the mornings before most people had risen.
She knew their friendship would soon be tested and may not stand; Mr. Bingley had informed them his sisters would return to London a day or two after Jane did.
Elizabeth told herself she was happy for the brief friendship they had, but she knew she would be hurt when he turned from her again.
She knew he could not wish to be the subject of rumors, and she often was when she went out with Jane and Miss Bingley.
Jane insisted she join her, but Elizabeth had usually done her best to avoid the higher society events and planned the same this year.
Darcy had hoped to reintroduce Georgiana and Elizabeth once his sister finished school in the middle of March, but she had been eager to meet Mrs. Younge and see the townhouse he had leased for her use.
She and Mrs. Younge quickly became comfortable with each other and set to work organizing their household and making plans to visit Georgiana’s friends in London.
Within days in her own house, his sister had requested a trip to Brighton with these school friends.
He and Richard had agreed that she was too young for such a venture this summer, which had led to her behaving in a way unfamiliar to him.
She had been even more upset when he told her she would join Richard and himself when they made an Easter visit to their Aunt Catherine.
After Richard talked to her, though, she was resigned to the journey.
He was not resigned to it himself. Going to Kent would mean missing more than a week of Elizabeth’s company.
He found that he was dreading the increase in their party when Miss Bennet and Bingley’s sisters returned to town.
When they rode horses out of the hearing of even Matthew, Elizabeth had been speaking freely to him of her childhood in Hertfordshire.
He now knew what her days had been like in London.
She had told him about her music lessons for her young cousins, her sewing for charity, and of her volunteer work at the Foundling Hospital.
He was impressed by her passion for the hospital’s cause and for the work she did there.
He had been embarrassed when she said she knew he donated handsomely to the hospital, but she asked him whether it was because of Mr. Wickham.
“No, not exactly. My parents supported the hospital long before Wickham contributed additional reasons. I did increase the Darcy donation, however, after he abandoned three babies in a single year.”
Elizabeth had looked ill, but she apparently understood where the children at the Foundling Hospital came from, and she knew by now that Wickham had increased its burden.
Yes, he was doing all he could to be a friend to Elizabeth and had been getting to know her far better in the process.
He had assumed he knew her well before, but of course he had been arrogant in that assumption, as in others.
Darcy hoped she was coming to understand him better, too, and he thought he should soon be able to tell her of his love, which increased with each new fragment of her he uncovered.
He was waiting only for his strength to be tested once Miss Bingley and Miss Bennet pulled them into society in a few days.
Once he was sure he could be a support to Elizabeth and not a disappointment to her, he would confess his love.
It had not been easy to treat her with only casual friendship.
He suspected her footman had caught him looking at her longer than a friend would, but he gave no sign it mattered to him.
Perhaps Matthew was charged with stepping in only in case of physical danger.
Darcy could not resent the presence of such a protector.
“Jane! I am so happy you have come.”
Elizabeth embraced her cousin in the Gardiners’ drawing room.
“Lizzy, you look very well. I was concerned by your letters after you said Mr. Wickham stopped calling, but it seems you really are unaffected by him. I had thought you liked him.”
“Yes, well, that was only when I first knew him. I very soon discovered he was a rake and a gambler.”
“Oh, dear. You did not mention that. Are you certain?”
“I am. Let us put him out of our minds now. Come, what are your plans for your month in London? Do you have every day planned out with Mr. Bingley and his sisters?”
Jane nodded, and they sat together on the settee just as Aunt Gardiner came in. Jane stood to embrace her, and then all three settled in to discuss the coming weeks.
Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy came for dinner that evening, and Elizabeth took every opportunity to observe the betrothed couple.
After she had overheard his plans to visit a brothel in July, she was determined to see whether Mr. Bingley was good enough for Jane.
She had not been convinced in Hertfordshire, but after their interactions in London this year, she was becoming more sure of him.
Still, she wished to see how he behaved in Jane’s company and around town.
After dinner, as she prepared tea and coffee, Mr. Darcy came and stood next to her.
“Has Mr. Bingley done something to offend you, Miss Elizabeth?” He asked too low for anyone else to have heard, but she still looked around the room to be sure.
“Why would you think such a thing?”
“You watched him like a hawk throughout dinner as though waiting for him to drop something on which you might pounce.”
She laughed, but she could tell Mr. Darcy did not believe her false humor. He raised his brows in question.
“He has done something, if you must know, and I will now be sure he respects my cousin well enough to care for her properly as his wife.”
“If you find against him, you will inform your cousin? Does she know how her betrothed has offended you?”
“She does not, and I would rather not have to tell her.”
“I see. When did Mr. Bingley offend you?”
“Last summer.”
“Hmm. He was at Oxford in the spring, so I would guess he offended you in…July, perhaps? Was it before or after he proposed to Miss Bennet?”
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes as she bore into his, trying to decipher what he knew. Surely, he had not seen her at that ball! He could not have known she heard their conversation. Still, she felt her cheeks warming and looked away from his gaze to prepare her uncle’s coffee.
“When did he offend you, Miss Elizabeth?”
“It was July, yes. A few weeks before he and my cousin announced their betrothal.” She lifted her chin in challenge and looked into his eyes again. “You are laughing at me!”
“I certainly am not. No laughter or even a chuckle has escaped my lips.”
“I see it in your eyes. You are definitely laughing at me.”
Now he smiled but quickly put on a stoic face again. Except for his dancing eyes.
She placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head. “Go on, then. What is so funny?” He may laugh at her embarrassment over the conversation she had heard, but she did not think he would dare to mention it.
“I cannot imagine what you mean.”
“I did not think you could. In fact, I do not think it a laughing matter at all. Hence my concern for my cousin.”
Mr. Darcy sobered instantly, and she realized with the change that it had not been only his eyes that had showed humor. His lips had twitched, and he had pulled in his cheeks slightly to prevent a smile. Now, though, he showed only seriousness.
“You are correct, of course. I also found Mr. Bingley to be offensive one night in July, in a small ante-room at a ball, no less, but we have discussed his conduct since, and I believe that although he was misguided that night, he was soon set straight and any mischief was prevented. He has also assured me he has not deviated from his intentions made that evening or those promised three weeks later.”
Elizabeth breathed out in relief. She had not realized how worried she had been for Jane.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.”
“Of course. I am sorry you have had to worry in silence for so many months.”
He looked at her with such sincerity, and she realized she had not doubted Mr. Darcy’s honesty even for a moment.
She trusted him, felt safe with him, and that would make it even more difficult when he left her behind.
It could not be long now. With Jane here and Mr. Bingley’s sisters arriving in another day or two, they would soon rejoin society, and he would decide she was not worth the trouble they had encountered at Vauxhall Gardens.
When she saw that his look had turned to concern, she realized a tear had escaped. She swiped at it.
“Excuse me. I must take this to my uncle.”