Chapter 7 Sadie
SADIE
The school is too quiet for seven in the morning, but I like it this way. No voices or distractions.
No Danny.
After my talk with Kylie last night, I barely slept. Everything she said played over in my head and had me thinking what if and why not? Could I go back to us? Could I bend enough to let Danny be Danny? Would he accept my timelines and need for structure? Could we blend our lives?
I couldn’t go through that thought process today.
I couldn't allow myself to dwell on any what-ifs or could-bes right now. First on my list is that I have to make it through this gala, make it through planning with Danny, and give the town the best event they've seen yet. And then my sister was going to have her baby, and life was going to change again. I don’t really know how any of it’s going to happen unless I plan for it.
I walk down the main hall and into the auditorium, armed with my extra-whip caramel coffee. I have half an hour to turn this place into a winter wonderland before the others start to arrive—thirty minutes of no chaos mixed with charm. Eighteen hundred seconds of no innuendos or secret glances.
Or so I thought.
Here he is, standing on a step stool, hanging ornaments and whistling off-key. My gasp as I pull up short has him looking over his shoulder.
“I’m going for the ‘overachiever award’ today.”
I swallow hard and give him a tight smile. “Guess it’s never too late to aim high.”
His lips twitch, and I pretend not to remember how good his kiss was. I walk to the table, drop my purse and coffee, and pick up my clipboard. I go over the checklist but feel his eyes on me, and when I flip to the second page, I know why.
Song List
Back Door Santa
Jingle My Balls
Here COMES Santa Claus
All I want for Christmas is You Under Me
He’s looking for a reaction.
Don’t give him one.
Take your leap!
The good angel and devil are arguing on my shoulders.
I close my eyes and take a breath, putting the clipboard down and moving to the supply box, actively ignoring the way the cinnamon scent is wafting all around me.
And the way I noticed his hair is still damp.
And his stubble is a bit more pronounced on weekends because he doesn’t have to shave before going to school.
His eyes follow me; I feel it. He’s waiting for me to erupt.
“You like my song choices?”
Don't give in.
“They’re great.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him step off the ladder and take a few steps closer to me. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
“You don’t have to be fine with me.”
I pause, holding the mistletoe, and look over at him. He’s closer now, standing with his hands on his hips in that way that always had me wanting to climb him like a tree. Tall, sturdy, and ready for me. “Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Do something ridiculous just to get a rise out of me, then say the exact thing that pulls me out of my head.”
He watches me, but his face gives nothing away. “You ever think maybe it’s on purpose? Not necessarily because I want to annoy you, but because I’m trying to pull you from where you’re stuck in your head. Have some fun, shake you up?”
I blow out a breath. “You don't get to shake me anymore.”
“I know.” He’s quiet when he says it, but I don’t miss him saying, “But I miss when you used to let me.”
The air in the room dances around us dangerously. There was so much we weren’t saying. I don't think we’d ever said so little but meant so much.
I had to look away. His stare was intense, and it made my heart race for all the right and wrong reasons, but I still couldn’t help but say, “Kylie thinks you might be my leap.”
“I’m not sure what that means, but I want to go on record and say I always liked your sister.”
“Hmm. Her hormones are making her crazy right now.”
“So I've heard.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “That better not be a dig, and if I find out Matt is talking shi–”
He laughs, putting his hands up. “He says nothing but good things, and you know it. Settle down with that pit-bull attitude.”
I put my chin up. “I like my attitude.”
“I like your bite.”
I almost smile. I almost snort again, but then I realize what he’s doing. Again. He is calming me, reassuring me. Easing me out of my tension. And I can’t go back there. I can’t. It always starts out good, but nothing good comes from it, especially not my heart being stepped on.
I pick up one of the mistletoe balls and chuck it at him. He catches it with ease as he walks towards me. I throw another one, and he laughs as he stops in front of me, shaking the two balls in his hands suggestively. “Trying to tell me something?”
His charming smile and that damn fucking dimple pop, and I almost throw myself on him. Instead, I snatch one of the mistletoes from his hand, but he grabs my wrist as I do. I still my movement as he slowly raises my hand in the air between us.
“Step forward, Sadie.”
His eyes hold me hostage, and in that split second, with the cinnamon smell swirling and the magic of Christmas thick between us, I don’t know whether to take that step away or leap right in.