Chapter 15 Sadie
SADIE
Ispent the next hour perfecting my avoidance strategy.
I practiced the face I won’t make when they ask about Danny.
I practiced my lie of coming home from the bar and falling right asleep because I’ve been busy planning the gala.
I was prepped and ready to begin addressing the baby shower, knowing that once I got Kylie talking about the baby, she should hopefully leave me alone.
But the moment I enter the winery and see Matt and Kylie sitting at the bar, waiting for me, I know I'm doomed. They turn and look at me as I enter, and both have smirks that say they know what went on last night. Or, at least think they know what went on.
My steps falter, but I raise my chin and walk in with my head held high.
“Oh, look,” Kylie calls out. “Sleeping Beauty has risen. Or should I say Sleepover Beauty.”
Matt snorts into his coffee. “Wow. That was fast. She didn’t even close the door yet.”
I roll my eyes and come to a stop in front of them at the bar. “Go ahead. Get it over with.”
Kylie laughs. “That’s what she said.”
Matt snickers, and I roll my eyes. “Nothing happened.”
“You're still going with that story? First the mistletoe and now last night. Word travels fast, sister. Don’t think no one saw you guys walking home together last night. To your home, where Danny was seen leaving this morning.”
“We didn’t have sex.”
“Liar,” Kylie sings.
“We didn’t!”
Matt raises a brow. “I don’t know if I should be hearing all this.”
Kylie scoffs. “Please. You’re his best friend. I’m surprised your phone isn’t ringing yet.”
He nods to the back. “Why don’t you two go have sister time while I stock up for today's shift?”
“Great idea! Follow me.” She pulls my arm, dragging me to one of the back tables.
“This feels like a hostage situation.”
She shrugs. “It is. You’re not leaving until you tell me everything.”
I sigh and give in to the fact that she won’t leave me alone. And honestly, I do need to talk to her about this.
I rub a hand over my face. “We didn’t have sex,” I say again, “but we did other stuff.”
“Define other stuff.”
“Everything but sex. And if we had condoms, we would have. And it probably would have been a mistake.”
“Oh, honey.” Kylie shakes her head. “I’ve had mistakes. Danny is not one. He’s unfinished business.”
“Well, I definitely know he wants to finish business.”
“What did he say?”
“He said none of this was a mistake. He was patient, took his time, provoked and pushed me, but it was to get me to open up.” I blush, thinking about his words.
“You were right about the dirty talk. And when he said things, it was fun, exciting, and just enough to take my mind off everything I have to do. And just enjoy him.”
“Then you should do just that.”
I shake my head. “I can’t get involved with him right now. I need to finish the gala; it’s three days away. There’s too much to do still, and I can’t get derailed by Danny.”
“Sounds like what you need is to get railed by Danny.”
“Stop it. I’m stressed out. There's a lot of work. Then there's your baby shower and the actual baby. I can’t throw in Danny and try to figure that out, too.”
She watches me intently before saying, “Take the leap, baby sister.”
“None of this means anything.”
She narrows her eyes. “Then why do you look like someone just shredded your planner?”
I don’t answer because I can’t. Last night wasn’t sex. It wasn’t nostalgia. It wasn’t even us returning to what we were. I saw it for something different last night.
Kylie steps closer, softer now. “Sadie. Do you want him back?”
I meet her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Do you miss him?”
I breathe in through my nose, hold it, then exhale. “Every day.”
She nods. “Then maybe stop running from that just because it scares the hell out of you. He’s scared, too. You guys just need to be there for each other. Talk it out, let him in.”
Easier said than done. How do I tell him that, in my world, order feels safe?
That love should feel steady and secure.
That I’ve always believed if things are in place, if everything makes sense, then I can breathe because I know what to expect.
I thought love had to look like that, too.
But with Danny? I never know what’s coming.