Chapter 21 Sadie
SADIE
Islept so peacefully that I never heard Danny leave, and worse, I never heard my alarm.
Checking the time on my phone, I groan and roll on my back, my mind immediately spinning with how my routine is off.
But then I take a breath and get a whiff of his cologne from the pillow next to me, and I smile, remembering how good it was, how good we were together last night.
And for the first time since we broke up, I actually believe we can make it this time.
I’m not freaking out, and that freaks me out the most. I reach for my phone and text my sister.
Me: How did you know it was finally going to work with Matt?
Kylie: Be there in 5
I chuckle. I should have known she’d come right over. I use the bathroom, brush my teeth quickly, and make my way to the kitchen. I pull up short at seeing the coffee maker full, a mug next to it, and a sticky note that says,
Don’t worry, I already put my mug in the dishwasher
I glance around the kitchen and can’t help the laugh that escapes as I see more notes. They’re everywhere—on the cabinets, the fridge, even the coffee scoop. Each one is so him, a little frat boy, some thoughtfulness, and a bit of charm that he swears he knows nothing about.
I left my shirt, hope you’re wearing it
I pluck that one from the cabinet, and my lips roll in because I am, in fact, wearing his shirt. I grabbed it from where he had laid it over the back of the chair, not leaving it on the floor this time.
I had to get to school early, grades have to be in by the end of the day. Plus, I figured after yesterday, you didn't need any chaos with your coffee.
I press my fingers to that last one, my chest tightening in the best, most confusing way.
He remembers the little things—not just my coffee routine but why I need calm in the morning. The chaos yesterday, which he caused by the way, he more than made up for. He knew it was going to work me up, but he did everything to ease me back into feeling like myself.
The front door creaks open, and I hear footsteps on the hardwood.
“Sadie?” Kylie’s voice carries down the hall. “I brought donuts and that liquid crack coffee you like. Oh, yeah, and the right to say ‘I told you so.’”
I roll my eyes and call back, “I wouldn't expect anything less.”
She pops her head around the corner, grinning. “Trust me, I’m hoping to retire the phrase after today.”
She walks in, tosses her bag on a chair, and plucks a sticky note from the toaster. “Well, well, what’s all this? Are you spiraling?”
I raise a brow. “I didn’t write those.”
She looks closer at the writing, then reads it aloud.
“Did I drive you thoroughly insane? If not, I'll grab another box.”
She leans on the counter with one hand and strokes her belly with the other. “Maybe Matt should have grabbed another box.”
I burst out laughing at her. “You love being this pregnant. Don’t lie!”
She giggles, too, but says, “I absolutely do not.” She pulls the chair out, fanning herself with the sticky. “But I do love seeing you in love.” She sits with pursed lips, “I told you so” dying to come out one more time.
“I’m not–”
“No, no, let me have this,” she interrupts, shaking the sticky note again. “Because I said from the very beginning that Danny was your guy. And you fought me.”
“I didn't fight you,” I say. “I fought me.”
“You did. So does this mean we’re done running?”
I glance down at the coffee mug waiting for me. “I thought if I let someone in, everything would fall apart.”
“And did it?”
I shake my head slowly. “No. It’s like the opposite. He left this morning, and I didn’t panic. I didn’t spiral. I just…” I pause, trying to find the right word, “was.”
“That’s because he doesn’t take from you, Sadie. He adds. He adds fun and excitement. He adds things unplanned. I know it’s hard for you, but you don’t have to live by checklists.”
Silence settles over us as I let her words sink in.
She brings me back to the moment by saying, “Thank you for helping me the other day. You didn’t have to spend the whole day organizing the nursery.
Though it was greatly appreciated. No way was I going to be able to sit on the floor and fold everything. ”
“Don’t be silly, I wanted to! You’re growing a human, at least let me put his or her clothes away.”
Kylie laughs and rubs her belly. “Matt is dying to find out if it’s a boy or a girl, but I want to be surprised.”
“Well, you know me. I’d need to know so I could plan everything.” I pause for a moment. “But maybe this kind of surprise is different. There aren’t too many surprises that are good, no matter what the outcome, ya know?”
My sister tilts her head, smiling softly. “Yeah. I guess there’s no downside to this one.”
I nod, holding onto the sticky. “Exactly. You get an amazing miracle either way. That’s kind of beautiful.”
She studies me for a moment. “I think you’ve got more room for surprises than you give yourself credit for.”
I shake my head, my heart giving a little jolt at the thought of a surprise. “Maybe. But let’s start with this one before we test my limits.”
Kylie grins. “Deal.”
I look around my kitchen, at all the sticky notes, and realize she’s right. Some surprises, maybe the best ones, don’t need a plan.
Could I do this?
I glance at her. “So, you really think it’s him?”
She lifts a brow. “You texted me at 8:22 in the morning with a random question.”
I snort. “I know. That kind of surprised me, too.”
“You’re not freaking out over the sticky notes not being in color order.”
“They’re kind of cute–”
“And you’re only wearing his shirt.”
I slap my hands on the table. “Okay, okay, I get it!” Any other day, I would have been dressed, the counter cleaned, coffee put away, and already working on the next event. But here it is, almost nine in the morning now, and I still haven’t had my first sip.
“So, yeah. I think it’s him.”
I chew on that for a moment. “I think it’s him, too.” The words come easier than I expected.
Kylie smiles. “Then tell him. But not with a sticky.”
We both laugh, and just like that, everything inside me clicks into place.
I can let go. I can trust this is the real deal, and I can trust him.
I can learn to let the little things go, or try to, anyway.
I’m not just going to reverse my whole life's thinking overnight.
But for the first time? I want to, because Danny is worth living on the edge for.