Chapter 11 #2
“I’m so proud of you,” he murmurs. “I knew you’d get it.”
“Oh!” I twist to face him. “I totally forgot to tell you. Jordan knew you.”
His expression tightens. “Knew me how?”
I shrug, trying to recall the details. “He asked if I was your girlfriend, which was weird at first. But then he said he’s done work with the Davenport family for years.
Knew your dad.” When his expression doesn’t change, I rush out, “I obviously didn’t tell him you have no relationship with them.
But he seemed friendly enough, and he asked me about you.
Wondering where you’ll be working once you graduate. Things like that.”
“So, while conducting your interview for your internship, my name and family name were brought up?”
“Yup. Small world.”
Nate’s face falls. He tries to cover it, but I don’t miss it. “What’s wrong?”
He stands in a rush. “Nothing.”
“Nate?”
He runs his hands through his hair, the motion tight with frustration. “Sorry,” he says absently, then kisses my forehead.
“Sorry about what?” I step in front of him. “What’s going on?”
“Did that guy say anything else?” His tone is sharper now.
“I…I don’t think so?” I try to remember. Honestly, I’d been so nervous I’d blanked out half the conversation. “Oh. He did ask if we were serious enough that I’d be staying with you. I figured he was making sure I had stable housing. Didn’t want me to flake or something.”
Nate takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah. That’s probably it.”
I study his face a moment longer. I’m not convinced.
“You sure you’re okay?”
He nods again and presses another kiss to my forehead. “I’ll help you study tomorrow. It’s getting late, so we should get ready.”
Sigma Chi is throwing their last party of the year. Normally, I’d skip it, but this is Nate’s last party before graduation. And if I stayed behind, I know he’d never go without me.
Loud thumping vibrates through the house, and the bass of the music almost overpowers the words of the songs.
My eyes squint, searching the party, trying to find where Nate or Leo went after their beer pong game ended.
I stay rooted in the corner, not wanting to leave my spot in case Nate comes looking for me.
Taking a sip from my jungle juice, making sure I drink this slowly since I’m a two-drink max kind of girlie, I begin to get frustrated when I don’t see them.
And now, I’m getting a show from the sorority girls.
Half grind on one another, trying to impress the guys, while the other half are playing another round of beer pong, also to impress the guys.
Great.
“Holy hotness.” I turn to see Meredith, my classmate, eyes popping out of her head as they rake over every inch of my body.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
Her eyes don’t leave my body.
I glance down at what I’m wearing, and I guess it’s a bit revealing, but nothing compared to the other girls weaving their way through the party.
I am wearing black strappy platform sandals, a denim miniskirt that shows off my long legs, and a crop top made from an old vintage hoodie, repping Baltimore for Mase.
The hood has been my saving grace tonight. It helped me hide in the corner, shielding me from too many interactions at the party.
My long, dark hair is down and straightened, and my eyes, I know, are glowing emerald with the amount of black eyeliner and mascara I have on tonight.
“When did you get here?” she asks.
“Who knows, this is my version of Hell, it feels like forever. What are you doing here anyway?”
Meredith is similar to me. She would rather stay home watching a movie or studying than subject herself to the debauchery around us.
“I’m kind of dating the kicker on the football team.”
“What? No way.”
She nods. “Yeah. He’s nerdy like us but feels obligated to come to these things sometimes.”
Her voice quickly dies, and her eyes widen in fear. A guy, rivaling Mase’s size, stumbles backward into me, the red punch in my cup splatters across my chest and face.
“Oh my god. Are you kidding me?” I splutter.
“Oh hell. Sorry,” he slurs and begins patting my chest to help clean me up.
I push him off, despite his size. “I’ve got it.”
He squints, then recognition hits. “Oh shit. You’re Cunningham’s sister.”
I freeze at the mention of Mason.
I’m used to being asked about Nate at school, but I thought I escaped Mase’s shadow despite his notorious reputation nowadays. But I shouldn’t be shocked by this guy’s size alone; I should have guessed he was on the football team.
“Who’s Cunningham?” a girl whines beside him, swaying slightly every time she moves.
“Best quarterback the pros have seen in ages.”
“Maddie?” Meredith’s soft voice redirects my attention toward her. “Let me help you get cleaned up. Where’s Nate?”
I shrug, suddenly feeling extremely emotional.
Meredith frowns, looking around the room like I have for the last ten minutes. I wouldn’t necessarily call us friends, more like friendly classmates, but she knows how inseparable Nate and I usually are.
“Can you call him?”
“I forgot my cell at Nate’s. I-I’m just going to go home.” I turn to leave, but she grabs my arm.
“Are you okay? I can run through the party to find him. You shouldn’t go home alone, Maddie.”
I shake my head furiously. “I don’t want to stay here anymore.”
She nods, thankfully, and walks me out of the party, keeping her eyes on me until I’m no longer in view.
Without thought, I walk to Nate’s and let myself in, heading right to the shower.
It never occurred to me once to go to my dorm, even though that was closer.
Everything I own is here, and I feel more at home where Nate is than anywhere else.
I stand under the water for over thirty minutes, scrubbing my body raw, trying to wash away this mess of the night, when the bathroom door bursts open.
“Ahh!” I scream.
“Maddie,” he huffs, out of breath.
“What in the world are you doing?” I cry loudly when I see Nate looking at me with wide eyes, just as scared.
“I’ve called your phone at least fifty times. I was a nervous wreck.”
I shrug. “Yeah, well, you left me at the party, and some idiot slammed into me. The jungle juice spilled all over me, and everyone was staring. I couldn’t be there anymore.”
“Why didn’t you find me?” I don’t appreciate the accusatory tone he’s using.
“I looked! So don’t be a jerk and give me attitude.”
He throws his arms out, raising his voice loudly. “I’m the jerk because I walked away from you for five minutes? Give me a break, Maddie.”
I stand there for a moment, shocked he yelled back at me.
Even more shocked at his tone.
Nate is always the level-headed, calm one, usually able to diffuse a situation or my hysterics easily.
He paces the room, running his hands through his hair, never once looking at me, even though I’m standing here, naked, behind the glass.
Nate has never once looked away from my body, not even when we’ve argued.
Something’s off.
I dry off quickly, go through my night routine in silence, then slip into bed.
Nate joins me soon after, curling around me, but the tension in the air is thick. I can feel the distance between us even when he pulls me into his chest.
How did tonight go downhill so quickly?
“I’m sorry, I yelled,” he mutters. “I was freaked out when I couldn’t find you.”
I gulp down my guilt. “It’s my fault. I was so in my head, I didn’t even think to call you once I got home. I would have freaked out too.”
“Are you okay?”
I nod, and he kisses the back of my head, and still—still—I feel the distance.
Call it a woman’s intuition, but something’s off, and now looking back on our day, he’s been distant the majority of it.
For the first time in years, I lay in the arms of the love of my life, and I don’t know how to fix what’s wrong.
Graduation Week
Year four of B.Arch is officially behind me. One more to go, and I’ll have my degree in hand, moving to New York City to live my dream life.
Lucky for Nate and Leo, they get to walk across that stage in two days.
Everything they’ve worked for is finally coming together.
It also means Camila will be here soon. She’s flying in with the rest of the family tomorrow morning, and I couldn’t be more excited.
We’ve gotten even closer over the years, and she is one of my best friends, alongside Addie.
It’s going to be a great reunion, having us all together, celebrating our favorite guys, especially when Mase gets here a few hours later.
A loud thud from upstairs snaps me out of my thoughts.
“What’s he doing up there? He hasn’t stopped moving all morning,” I ask Leo.
He shrugs. “No clue,” he mumbles around a spoonful of the chocolate cherry cake I made last night.
I wanted to make Nate something special for his big day, but he’s been so preoccupied that Leo’s almost devoured the whole thing.
“Go check on him.”
Nate’s been off since that stupid frat party, and I’m not in the mood to get into another tiff, especially since this is an important few days for him.
I’ve been chalking it up to graduation nerves, even if my gut still tells me something else is wrong with him.
He insists all is fine, however, if I had a microscope to dissect every part of him, I’d put good money on the fact that I’d find something he’s hiding.
“Not in the mood for his cranky ass today. You’re his girlfriend.”
“You’re his brother,” I counter.
He takes another bite. “But you’re the only one who cares about whatever he’s doing up there.”
“Fine,” I snap, then pull the cake away from him. “But now you don’t get any more of this.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t be like that, Maddie.” His big brown eyes give me puppy eyes, begging for their treat.
“Ugh. Fine.” I put the cake back down.
I walk into the bedroom and stop short when I notice Nate frantically packing up his boxes.
His suitcase is half-packed, clothes flung over the bed. His drawers are open and empty, and a tangle of phone chargers and books spills out of his backpack.
It’s a mess, but I also notice something strange. Everything of mine is also packed.
“What the heck is going on here?”
Nate’s head pops up. His sweaty hair sticks to his forehead. “Packing. What does it look like?”
“No kidding, Nate.” I step into the room, my heart pounding. “I’m asking because I thought we said we’d do that together after graduation, when we have a few days alone.”
He turns from me, but I don’t miss how he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
Like he’s bracing himself.
My pulse kicks up, and I know at this moment, I should have trusted my gut; something is very wrong.
“What’s the matter, Nate?” I whisper.
He turns and meets my gaze. Without any words at all, it feels like my insides are about to shatter. Because I know that look.
It’s empty.
The only other time I’ve seen it before was when he spoke to his biological parents—the two people he despises most in this world.
And then he says the four dreaded words. “We need to talk.”
“Nate…”
He audibly swallows as he sits on the edge of the bed, hands clasped between his knees. “You need to understand, this isn’t permanent—”
“What are you talking about?” My voice breaks and I take a step back as if I’ve been physically shoved. “What’s not permanent?”
Nate flinches at the hurt in my voice, but he continues, “I love you so much, but I think we both need to spend some time apart before we start the next chapter in our lives together.”
What?
The room spins as the word whirls through my head. The tears are instant, streaking down my face.
Time apart?
“You can’t be serious. Did something happen?” I cry. “Talk to me, please. Where in the world is this coming from?”
Nate screws up his face, holding back his own emotions.
“It’s not like that, Mads. I…” His eyes won’t catch mine. He frantically looks around the room, looking for the answers. “I just can’t do this anymore. I need space in New York.”
“You need space?” I don’t realize I’ve stepped right in front of him. “Look me in the eye,” I yell, causing him to snap his face up to mine.
His blue eyes are darkened with sadness. I can feel his misery, like it’s a living thing, staring me in the eyes, so dang it, why is he doing this to us?
“I think it’s for the best…for both of us. Then, when you come to New York—”
I push him with all my might, and he falls into his headboard. “Don’t you dare say that. Don’t. Don’t do it.”
“I love—”
“No!” I sob. “Don’t you dare say those words. If you’re leaving me, those words are lies.”
Nate sits up in a rush, eyes wild, finally looking at me. “They are not a lie. I love you with all my heart.”
“Then why are you doing this? I don’t understand?” I cry.
None of this makes sense.
He runs his hands down his face. “It’s for the best.”
“Was I not enough?” I yell. “I can’t even wrap my head around this. Am I that stupid that I didn’t see the signs?”
My hand flies to my mouth, scared I’m going to be sick.
There were signs.
“Is there someone else? Is that it?” As the words leave my mouth, my chest starts shaking as I struggle for air.
“Someone else?” His voice booms. “Never!”
I hang my head. “You promised me forever.”
He stands in a rush and grabs a bag.
“Where are you going?” Suddenly feeling frantic, I realize that this really is over.
He doesn’t answer as he leaves me behind in his room. I run after him, screaming his name, until my voice is hoarse. I grab the banister for support. “Don’t go, please, Nate.”
I reach for him, but he dodges my touch and quickly makes his way toward the front door.
Leo jumps out of his seat. “What’s going on?” His eyes ping-pong between us.
I physically can’t speak to him at the moment; the pain from my heart breaking in two is taking everything out of me.
The only thing possible for my body to do is sob my eyes out.
“I’m leaving. Can you help Maddie with her stuff?” Nate grabs his keys, and Leo pushes him full force into the wall.
“What the fuck did you do to her?”
Nate shakes his head, whips open the door, and rushes to his car. I drop to my knees in shock and howl to the moon in despair.
“Maddie?” Leo whispers, dropping to the ground beside me.
“He broke up with me. Left me.”
“No,” Leo says in shock. “What the fuck?”
I nod, not believing it myself.
I was completely blindsided, and even though my mind still hasn’t fully caught up, my heart sure knows how to break quickly enough.
And when Leo takes me in his arms, the reality of my life coming apart is more apparent than ever.