Chapter 25 #2
“True.” He chuckles. “This smaller plane is technically Harrison’s, but we all use it.
He bought it when Claud was born so he could get from point A to point B quicker.
For short work trips, or there are times she’s out at the beach house with one of us, and he wants to get to her after work, not having to worry about sitting in four hours of traffic. ”
I was wrong before. I run my hands down my face, shaking it lightly. After all these years, I guess I’m not immune to the words that come out of his mouth.
“So whose plane did I use?”
“When all of the planes are in use, Leo has two companies he uses via an app. It’s like Uber for planes.”
I look at him deadpan. “Uber for planes.” What next?
We’re interrupted when the pilot descends the plane’s stairs to greet us. Nate takes his outstretched hand, a smile plastered wide across his face. “Evening, Dick.”
My eyes widen as I look between him and the other god in front of me. The pilot, a Christian Bale look-alike, lets out a deep rumble. “Careful. Remember, I’m in charge of flying this plane.”
Nate reaches over and pulls me into his side so quickly I nearly trip over my feet. “Yeah, and now I have precious cargo on board. Practicing your best flying is expected.”
Oh god, how embarrassing.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Richard, or Rich.” The pilot holds out to shake my hand. “Not Dick.”
I giggle and shake his hand. “Madeline, or Maddie.” I smile, and Nate pinches my side, narrowing my eyes at me.
I love it when he gets jealous.
“You two ready?” Rich holds out his arm for us to go first, and he follows behind. “Let me introduce you to my wife, Alicia. She’ll be your flight attendant today.”
“Nice to meet you.” I smile, giving her a little wave.
Nate kisses her cheek. “Good to see you again. Today’s going to be an easy flight for you. We’d love a drink to start, and after, we’d like privacy until it’s time to land.”
“I won’t complain about that.” She laughs. “What can I get you to drink?”
Nate walks me over to our seats. “Champagne?”
“Diet Coke or water is fine. We have to work early.”
He stares at me like I’m joking, then rolls his eyes. “Alicia, we’ll have champagne and water, please.”
“Nate.”
“Sorry, babe, no work for you tomorrow. I have a surprise for you.”
I sit up straighter. I can’t miss work. “I have too much to do, I have a meeting for Pink Tiger, and—”
“And Leo said he will conference you in. We need this, Mads. We need time together, just me and you.” He’s right, I know that, but missing work still makes me uneasy.
I don’t get a chance to reply, Alicia is back. “Thank you.”
“Of course. I’ll leave you two alone, and if you need me, just let me know.” She turns and walks toward her husband, and I must have the dirtiest mind on the planet, because all I can think about is if that was my husband, I’d be playing out a fantasy.
Nate snaps his fingers in front of my face, and I duck to hide my smile. “I know that look, and you call me the dirty one.”
My chest shakes. “I couldn’t help it. She’s definitely getting cock in the cockpit; it was too easy.”
He bursts out laughing, shaking his head like he can’t believe what just came out of my mouth. “No wonder you’re so close with my brother. Your minds think the same.”
“Ha. Ha.” I lift my champagne glass. “Cheers.”
“Cheers to starting over.” He tilts his glass forward.
His sudden serious tone surprises me. “What do you mean?”
“We have forty-five minutes until we land, and I want us to put it all out there, work through whatever’s holding us back.
When we step off this plane, we start our adult relationship.
I want our past behind us and our future together in front of us.
It’s time we get a redo. We both deserve happiness, together. ”
I lean back in my chair and take a good look at Nate, and the sincere expression in his eyes while tears well in mine. Truer words have never been spoken.
It is time for a redo.
Our love, even as kids, was so undeniable, so utterly perfect and beautiful, that we can’t ruin it again.
I’ll tell him what haunts me, what’s been weighing on me, and then I will let it go and finally allow myself to love again.
I promised his sister I would start living, and I already know in my heart Nate will be the one to bring me back to life.
“Don’t cry, Mads, I can’t stand it. We’re going to be okay.” He unbuckles his seat belt and walks around the small table that divided us, and takes the seat next to me.
He wipes my cheeks, lingering over my dimples. “Missed those?” I tease.
He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I’ve missed every single thing about you, Madeline.” Then he kisses my lips gently.
“I’ve missed you, too.” I go in for another soft kiss, and nothing has felt more natural in my life.
One kiss and another, then Nate’s palm slides along my neck, squeezing as his tongue slips through my lips, while my arousal swoops in quickly.
A low moan escapes, and I grapple with his lapels, desperate for more of him.
My libido was dormant all these years, never once wanting to have sex with anyone else.
I used to think something was wrong with me, that maybe Nate broke me, but now that he’s back, it’s as if years of suppressed sexual need is rushing forward, and I can’t get a handle on it.
Nate rips away, panting, shaking his head. “We need to get a grip.”
I laugh, and he grins. It’s always been like this with us.
We lean back, enough so neither of us jumps each other’s bones again, and sip our champagne, keeping eye contact the whole time.
“You first or me?” Nate asks.
I rip off the Band-Aid because if I wait any longer, I might chicken out. “You asked me why I ran?” He nods, and I slouch back into my chair, grounding myself. “I hold a lot of guilt, and it’s been eating me alive. At first it was about Camila—”
“What do you have to be guilty of about Camila?”
The tears are back, I can’t help it. Nate doesn’t try to wipe them away again, it’s a lost cause. This conversation was never going to be easy for either of us.
“So many what-ifs. What if I didn’t ask for space from her?
What if I forgave her and moved to New York sooner to support her?
What if I asked her more questions? And when it comes to us, what if I stayed in Spain instead of running?
What if I had just listened to your story after Camila’s funeral?
We would have been together this whole time,” I sob.
“Mads, come here, babe.” He unbuckles me and pulls me to his lap, circling his arms around my waist.
“When I look back, I don’t like the person I was, Nate. I don’t like that I wasn’t there for my best friend. I don’t like that I never gave you a chance to explain. I was young and immature and so, so angry with you that I wouldn’t give in. Ten minutes, and so much could have been different.”
He runs his fingers through my hair, twirling the end, lost in his thoughts. “So you ran because you’re mad at yourself?”
“I don’t deserve you. But I’m also selfish enough to want you anyway. I caused us a decade of pain and suffering…for what?”
“No, Madeline. I caused that. I broke up with you. You don’t get to take the blame for this.”
“It’s because I’m stubborn. People break up all the time; they don’t hold ten-year grudges.”
“Stop this,” he snaps. Nate almost never gets mad, but when he does, he means business.
“This isn’t you, Mads. You are not some self-loathing, woe-is-me woman.
You own your decisions, you’re strong, and maybe you’re a little stubborn, too.
” He cups my cheek. “And yes, people break up, but no one, not one other couple I’ve come across in my thirty-three years of life, has the type of connection we do.
So don’t compare our situation to anyone else.
How you acted was completely justifiable.
I take one hundred percent responsibility for our downfall, and that’s where we are leaving this.
Regarding Camila, I won’t dismiss your feelings, but I will say this: she shouldn’t have meddled, even though I love her for it.
I love that she loved us so wholeheartedly, but it wasn’t her place.
And Mads, you were there for her. You have a warped memory of what happened.
So what, you didn’t move to New York? You think you pushed her away?
Except the second you found out she was pregnant, you were in constant contact.
I remember because when she was sick, she stayed with Leo and me a lot of the time. ”
I shake my head. “That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is,” he insists. “Dig deeper in that head of yours. I’m no psychologist, but maybe you suppressed memories as a coping mechanism, because trust me, you were there for her.”
I squint, racking my brain, and it’s only making me become more frustrated.
“Maddie, let me ask you, did she have morning sickness?”
“Badly, all times of the day, not only in the morning. Until she became obsessed with those ginger cookies that finally settled her stomach.”
“What were her cravings?”
“Taco Bell quesadillas, and after she would do yoga, she always wanted a peanut butter smoothie.”
He nods. “Correct, and—”
“And sometimes she craved Kit Kats. She hated red meat and peppers. Her first doctor was such a jerk that she switched OBGYNs after her first trimester. She loved her stretch marks because they were a reminder of that beautiful little girl she was growing inside of her. She told me daily.” I word vomit all of this with no idea where it’s coming from.
My surprised eyes connect with Nate’s, his expression soft. “Cancer sucks. We all cope in different ways. You were there for her, Maddie. I promise.”
I drop my head onto his shoulder as he holds me close. “Thank you,” I mumble into him. And as if he’s opened a magical chest, my mind is suddenly filled with memories I’ve suppressed.
One in particular makes me smile. It’s a picture of her in the dead of summer. I remember her telling me it was one hundred degrees out with one hundred percent humidity, and she didn’t care what she looked like.
She was wearing a long, flowy skirt and matched it with an old crop top, or what we used to call a belly shirt, that fit like a bra.
The woman’s face behind her was scrunched up in disgust, but Camila’s smile was large and completely unfazed. She was such a beautiful, carefree soul.
I miss her dearly.
Nate rubs my back for a few minutes. “Anything else you want to get off your chest?”
I lean back and whisper, “I hate that there was someone else.” He stills under me, the muscles in his arm go rigid. “It’s always been you, though, Nate. I didn’t want to admit it, but I promise it’s true. I still sleep with your pillow, for God’s sake.”
He doesn’t say a word, so I lift my head to find his smug, cocky grin spread across his face. I roll my eyes.
“My pillow?” His brows rise.
“Oh, get that smile off your face, Davenport.” I shove at his chest, but he catches my wrist mid-push and drags me straight back into him.
“For the record,” he murmurs, voice low and rough, “I can’t fucking stand that there was someone else. I want to kill him with my bare hands. I’ve never felt so violent in my life.”
“It meant nothing,” I breathe out, my voice trembling against his collarbone. “My heart and my body have only ever belonged to you.”
“Damn right,” he says with conviction, but I can see it in his eyes. It’s not enough.
Nervous from his expression, my heart starts to beat quickly. “What do you need to know before we move on, Nate?”
His big blue eyes glaze over, and his chest heaves from his deep breaths. “Were you in love with him?”
I shake my head furiously. “God, no. I thought maybe I loved him as a person, but I didn’t, and I definitely was never in love with him.”
His jaw tenses. “Yet, you said yes to him.”
“It was a mistake. A terrible mistake I want to erase from my memory.” My chest tightens with regret.
“If I hadn’t lived it, I wouldn’t understand it either.
I know you don’t want to hear this, but you consumed me, Nate.
I was so angry. I tried so hard to move on and got too caught up with the idea.
Then our families were involved, and I said yes, a massive regret I will always live with.
You have to believe me, I never loved him. Ever.”
I don’t know what I was thinking, or who that version of myself was.
I hate her.
“You never slept with him?” I know he’s not asking because he doesn’t believe me, he needs me to validate my feelings for him. I get it.
“No. I couldn’t.” I shiver in disgust. That should have been a major red flag, but I thought I’d grow out of it. “Coming from a strict religious family, waiting was never questioned.”
“I hate him.”
I cup his cheeks and bring us nose to nose. “It. Has. Only. Ever. Been. You. Mind, body, soul. You own me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Nate’s mouth crashes into mine when there’s nothing left to say. It’s hard, hungry, and unapologetic. His tongue parts my lips, claiming me, reminding me how he’s always known exactly how to undo me.
His hand finds my jaw, holding me still while he kisses me like he’s starving and can’t get enough. Goose bumps trail along my spine as our tongues collide. I’ve always loved kissing Nate, but adult Nate is hotter and more passionate than ever.
When he pulls back, his lips trail down my throat, hot and demanding, marking a path only he’s ever known. My pulse stutters, every nerve alive under his touch.
“Nate. We’re going to be okay.” I sigh.
The anger, the doubts, the years I spent holding on to the resentment…they’re all faded away. None of it matters anymore.
We’ve owned our mistakes, and now we get to start fresh.
To choose each other again and live the life we were always meant to have.
He leans back, looking at me, deep and meaningful.
“Our love was written in the stars long before we understood its meaning. The universe may have twisted our path, tested us in ways we never imagined, but in the end, it led us back together.” He takes my hand, lacing our fingers.
“So yeah. We’re going to be more than okay. ”
In that moment, pressed up against his body, with his beautiful words lingering, I remember what I’ve always known…no one else ever stood a chance.
The plane dips, and we begin our descent. Nate picks up our linked hands and kisses my fingertips. “Are you ready to start life together again?”
I hug him tightly, squeezing with all my might. “I can’t wait.”