Chapter 64
Matt
God I hate this. Scarlett has the best poker face of all time. She’s taunting me with it, while she stares back at me, those deep, blue eyes, not even blinking. They’re just staring into my soul, trying to read me.
I’m sweating. I’ve twitched my wrist way more in the last five minutes than I ever have in my life. I hope I’ve made enough of an effort for her to be with me again.
Having her in front of me but being unable to touch her is torture. I want this conversation to be over. I want to know she’ll stay with me. I want to take her in my arms.
She bites her lip, making me want her more. She gives me a strange smirk, looking like she’s fucking Mona Lisa.
Finally, she speaks up. “I’m ready to order.”
“You’re...ready to order?” I furrow my brow.
“Yes.” She nods.
“What does that mean?” I squint my eyes. “Are you agreeing to be mine again?”
“Let’s see how dinner goes. I have some of my own points to mention.”
I call the waiter over and Scarlett orders. I don’t say a thing until it’s my turn. Once the waiter leaves, she directs her attention on me again.
“It’s my turn to explain,” she starts. “I thought I could figure out a way and a schedule to get the gym on the right track. I was on a tight budget, though. Plus, I had three months to get things in order. Then, you dropped a bomb on me; the one where you said, ‘Hey, we’re going to Texas this weekend forever.’”
She’s mocking me. I try to say something, but she puts her hand up, silencing my thoughts. “Let me finish.”
Touché.
“I trusted you. I don’t just let someone come into my life and take over, but you insisted on it.
The entire time we were in San Diego, I let you make all the plans, when I’m used to making plans.
I found out I didn’t mind someone else I trust taking over—if it meant you and I could be together, it felt right.
I got used to you making decisions. Most of the time I felt relief because for the first time in my life, someone else could do all the things I worried about. ”
I nod as she pauses.
“ Then , the person I thought I could trust abandoned me. Left without talking to me. Wouldn’t call me back.
Just disappeared, reminding me of another family member of mine who did the exact same thing.
It’s why I have to plan and make sure things get done because you can’t count on anyone else but yourself at the end of the day. ”
Ouch.
She just compared me to her mom. I put my head in my hands. Fuck.
“Now you come back here to Washington and expect me to be with you again. Like that.” She snaps.
“I was trying to talk to you the day you left. I was thinking we could come up with a solution. Instead, you turned angry and you left. You made my worst fear come true. It’s going to take a little time for me to trust you again.
How do I know you won’t get mad about a decision I make and up and leave again? ”
I look up and pause, seeing if she’s done talking. She doesn’t say anything.
A tear slides down my cheek. I haven’t cried since middle school. I’ve always had to be the strong one, but I hurt her. Bad. I did what my dad did to my mom. I didn’t get my way and ruined things between us when all I had to do was listen.
“I’m so sorry, Scarlett. I made a mistake. A huge mistake. I messed up, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m learning to be in a relationship and what it means—sharing your life, not demanding things from someone you love. I can do better. I’ll show you I can do better.”
“Good.”
I nod my head. It’s silent between us for a few breaths.
“I know you’re not exactly like her.” She pauses.
“You came back. You went against your business partner. You moved to a place you don’t really like.
I appreciate that. I know you’ve been on your own for a while, but if you want us to work, we have to be a team.
Not you or me controlling everything. We have to work together. ”
I nod and wipe away another tear. Moments pass, feeling like an hour. The shuffling of Scarlett’s foot against the tablecloth is the only sound between us.
The waiter brings over food. I try to pull myself together, grabbing my water and taking a big gulp.
“Matt?” Scarlett asks. “I’m glad you’re here.” She gives me a small smile and reaches for my hand across the table.
With her hand in mine, I know we’re going to be okay.
Patience. Just be patient, Matt.