Chapter 15
NAIJHEL
Ihadn’t wanted to run out on Delaney the way that I had, but it couldn’t be helped. My mom called asking me to come over. She had been dating a guy who she felt like it was going nowhere.
When she tried to end things, he started acting out, threatening her, and refusing to leave her house.
It was a flashback for her and me to what happened with my dad.
Their relationship hadn’t worked, because they realized they were better friends than partners.
Before he passed, she and my dad were still good friends, and she cared about him a lot.
She had mourned his loss as much as Brandon and I had.
There was no way that I could ignore her call, and there was no way that I could pull Delaney into my bullshit.
Delaney and I had met under false pretenses, thanks to Clayton, but I was still triggered by acts of domestic violence. When confronted with it, or if someone I loved was under the threat of it, my brain ceased all logical thinking, and something else darker took over.
I was battling that demon when Delaney walked into the bathroom.
Telling her what was going on would only open that darkness more and more, and I wouldn’t have been able to pull that monster back.
The last thing I needed was for her to see that other side of me.
The minute that I opened my mouth to tell her what happened, that was exactly what she would see.
She was precious to me, and she needed to be protected from all that. So I jumped in my car and headed to my mother’s house. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going except for Frost, who pulled up at the same time that I had.
That nigga was still in my mama’s house talking about what he wasn’t gonna do and how nobody wasn’t gonna make him leave.
My mother had not told me over the phone that he hit her, but when I saw her swollen jaw, I already knew.
I beat the brakes off that nigga with my cane, and then when he threatened to get revenge on her, I pulled out my gun to shoot him.
My mama’s pleas to not do that, out of fear of me getting into legal trouble, fell on deaf ears.
The only thing that got through to me was Frost walking up behind me and gripping my shoulder.
He had whispered in my ear, “Li’l cuz, let me handle this shit.
I can make him go away real clean. This is light work.
You don’t need this on your hands, and your mama don’t need this on her conscience. ”
I had reluctantly lowered my gun hand, but Frost had taken over from there.
He sent me to console my mama in the other room while he forced that nigga out of her living room.
I got a call from him an hour later telling me that the workspace was clean.
I knew that meant that he had taken that nigga out and had it all cleaned up.
Hours later, I still wasn’t in my right frame of mind. I stayed with my mom for three hours because she was afraid for me to leave her alone. That shit had my head fucked up because I didn’t like seeing her in that state of mind. She promised that he had never acted that way toward her before.
What were the odds that both of my parents would be in a violent relationship, and I would face the potential of losing them? My parents were loving, compassionate, peaceful, and patient. The thought that I could have lost my only living parent to a psychopath had me slightly off-kilter.
When I finally left her home, it was to go home and shower. I slept for a couple of hours, but I was back up and wired again. The one thing I knew for certain was that I couldn’t go around Delaney with that type of energy.
Frost dropped by my place with Brandon and Maurice, to make sure that I was good. They walked in the door with a case of beer and dapped me up.
“You good, man?” Frost asked after we sat down.
“I don’t know. My head is still reeling over that shit. It’s got me wanting to go track down that nigga Clayton and beat his ass too. Just for lying to me and having me believe that shit about my baby.”
“You really feeling this girl?” Brandon asked.
I nodded.
“You should have seen the two of them when we all went out to Sorrel. That nigga’s nose was wide open. Old girl couldn’t move two inches without him right there,” Maurice quipped.
“Nigga, shut up. At least I know her, and we’ve been spending time together. How about how wide open your nose was for her girl? You didn’t even know her, but you looked like you were deep in love,” I replied.
Maurice waved his hand and shook his head. “Hey, she’s cool peeps, and so am I. What can I say?” he asked, shrugging and holding his hands out to the side.
“You still hollering at her?” I asked.
He bobbed his head.
“Word? That’s what’s up,” I replied. “Just make sure you treat her well.”
“You mean like you’re doing Del right now?” he asked.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know what he’s talking about, nigga. Why haven’t you called your woman?” Brandon demanded.
“Y’all chill. Brandon, if you’d seen the shape your mama was in when we got over there, you’d understand. Auntie Lynn is a strong woman, but she wasn’t looking that strong when we got there. That nigga up in there like that’s his shit. Then he had the nerve to put his hands on her.”
“I’m sure you handled him,” Brandon replied, his jaw working tightly and eyes narrowed in anger. He couldn’t afford to do the things that Frost and I did, because he had a woman and kids. His days of running the streets and un-aliving niggas was over.
“With pleasure, nigga. I put that thang on him.”
“Still doesn’t explain why you ain’t called your woman,” Maurice declared.
“I’m not in the right headspace to deal with Delaney right now.”
“You don’t need to bring that darkness into her life, but you do need to protect her.
I get that you’re trying to protect her from your energy, but you also need to protect her heart.
You do that by securing her and letting her know that everything is good with you and her, that everything’s on the up and up.
“The way you said you dipped out of there without an explanation could leave her worrying and wondering. You don’t ever want your woman to worry or wonder. That shit might not turn out like you think it should,” Frost explained.
I bobbed my head and pressed my fingertips together against the middle of my forehead. I closed my eyes for a moment. “I know you’re right. I just need to get it together.”
“What else is going on? It can’t be that alone,” Brandon professed.
“Sometimes I wonder if I’m pushing her too fast. She’s a young girl, just thirty. I’ve been so busy wooing her, to prove that my intentions are pure, that I’m not sure I’ve done enough thinking about what she wants and needs and what’s best for her.”
“So, here’s the thing, Naijhel. Because you’re already thinking that way, that tells you you’re on the right path. You care about your girl, and you’re not trying to hurt her or fuck shit up. So just keep it real with her.
“You don’t have to go into the details about what happened, but you can tell her that Mama had a situation, and you had to go help her out.
Leave it at that. She doesn’t need to know the details if you don’t think you can handle sharing that without blowing your wig again.
You don’t have to tell her what Frost did to handle it.
Just let her know that everything is all good,” Brandon explained.
“His ass betta not mention my name,” Frost spoke up.
“I’ll call her in a bit. That’s my baby. I just don’t want to bring this shit into her life, . . . the shit that we do. She’s too good for all this, and I have to protect her from it, from me.”
“Does she know that you’ve killed niggas?” Maurice asked.
“Hell no. She sees nothing but the good in me. I don’t know what to do with that. If I fuck this up, I will never forgive myself. She’s been hurt, and sometimes, I second-guess myself about why I pursued her in the first place. But at the time, I just had to have her.”
“And you don’t now?” Maurice asked.
“That hasn’t changed. It’s just that I didn’t give a damn about anything before but getting her. Now that something like this has jumped off, it’s got me questioning if I’m what’s best for her.”
“You’re all that girl needs, man. I saw the two of you at the island, and I talked with her family. They all feel like you’re the best thing that has ever happened to her, and I know that she’s the best thing that’s happened to you. She needs you as much as you need her,” Maurice professed.
I bobbed my head. “I hope so, man. I hope so,” I repeated.