Chapter 23 Naijhel
NAIJHEL
THREE WEEKS LATER
She stepped out of the house wearing a flowing, lime-green dress that had a slit up the right thigh. On her feet were a pair of white espadrille wedges, and she wore a white, floppy sun hat on her head.
I couldn’t see her eyes for the oversized, white mirrored sunglasses she wore, but I could detect her excitement in her large, toothy grin and the loud gasp that emitted from her throat.
“Naijhel! She’s a beauty, baby,” she declared, rushing down the stairs of her front porch and toward me.
“Woman, you were supposed to wait until I rung the doorbell.”
“I couldn’t, baby. I’ve been so excited about this that I’ve been checking your location and looking out the window every two minutes. She deserves to be seen, so I had to see you pull up in her.”
I chuckled. “But you didn’t know she deserved to be seen before you saw her,” I refuted as she dragged her hand over my classic 1969 midnight-black Thunderbird.
“When did you finish her?”
“This morning. I hopped in the shower after I finished and immediately drove over here after I called you.”
“You couldn’t wait to go for a ride, huh?”
“Just wanted to be with you, baby.”
“I couldn’t wait to see this gorgeous girl,” Delaney declared as I opened the door so that she could slide inside.
I ran around the other side and opened the door. I watched as she dragged her hands over the cream leather seats and inhaled. “Call me crazy, but I love the scent of leather for some reason.”
“You’re not crazy. I love it too, especially on a nice leather jacket.”
“Where are we going?”
“I thought we’d take a ride along Atlantic Highway and over Scenic Bluff.”
“To see the ocean?”
“Exactly.”
The smile that Delaney shone on me was worth all the gold in the world.
My heart throbbed strong in my chest, and I wanted to give her the world.
How was it so difficult to be satisfied with one beautiful woman who made your heart sing?
How did he waste all his years keeping her on hold?
Instead, he chose to hurt and use her rather than be free to be with someone he truly wanted and allowed her to be free too.
It didn’t make sense to me, but I was determined not to let her past with him ruin our future. I was also determined to put her first in my life, not making the mistakes that I made with Tracy.
My family would always be important to me and be a priority in my life, but I wouldn’t make them more important than my woman—at least not more important than Delaney.
That was the truth behind my ex-girlfriend, Tracy and me.
I had no intentions of getting serious with her, but I had a difficult time admitting that to her or myself.
I was faithful to her, but I couldn’t see myself marrying her and building a family with her.
She had too many ways that I didn’t care for, and she felt the same about me.
We spent more of our relationship trying to change one another rather than accepting who we were and what we had in one another.
Somehow with Delaney, I knew she was made for me.
There wasn’t anything I wanted to change about her.
We had been driving for thirty minutes and had been listening to the engine, letting the wind blow through the open windows, and enjoying the ride. Twenty minutes into the ride, Delaney decided to check out the stereo system, and she was impressed that it and the clock still worked.
We had just come on Atlantic Highway when she turned off the stereo and lay her head against the headrest.
“This is so calm and relaxing. I enjoy the simple things in life.”
“And yet, you’re worthy of all the finer things.”
I reached over and grabbed Delaney’s hand and wove my fingers through hers. Lifting our hands to my lips, I gave her fingers a light kiss. When I looked at her, she was smiling at me with so much love and adoration in her eyes.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just admiring how you care for me.”
“Always, girl.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“For?”
“Finishing the project that you started with your dad. I know that wasn’t an easy task. You told me you all were close to finishing it, but I didn’t expect you to be finished this fast.”
“It wasn’t easy. That night after we discussed it, I thought about it constantly for the next two days.
The night before I started working on it again, I prayed about it.
That night I dreamt of my father. It was a memory, really.
We were talking about the first place that we would take this baby when we finished her.
“The next morning, I woke up with tears in my eyes. My head was all kinds of fucked up about that dream. I wasn’t ready to face the day.
Trying to go back to sleep didn’t work, so I finally got up, went to the garage, and started working on her.
Every spare minute that I’ve had when I’m not with you, that’s what I’ve been doing, working on her. ”
“That’s what this is then,” she stated, waving her hand out of the open window as the cool spring breeze continued washing over us.
“What do you mean?”
“The drive on Atlantic Highway and heading to Scenic Bluff. That’s what he wanted to do, isn’t it?”
My jaw clenched, and I gave a brisk nod.
This time she lifted our hands and kissed my fingers. “I’m sure your dad would be proud of you. You’re honoring him in all the best ways, Naijhel. Fighting for the rights of domestic abuse survivors, carrying on his love of restoring classic cars, and going to the place that he loved.”
“Yeah, I guess. In a couple of weeks, I plan to start the one you bought me.”
“I can’t wait to see it in progress and finished,” she stated.
I pulled off the highway and took the steep hill up to Scenic Bluff. We climbed out of the car, and I watched her as the wind whipped her hair around. She was so beautiful in the sun’s rays, as if she were an angel from Heaven herself.
I popped the trunk of the car and removed an item.
Delaney stared curiously at me from the front of the car.
My heart thundered in my chest, wondering if this was the right time.
I knew it was the right place because it was what he wanted.
I also knew when he wanted it, but again, I wasn’t sure if she needed to be here, or if she would even be comfortable with what I was about to do.
“What?” she asked, coming to join me where I still stood at the trunk of the car.
I licked my lips, trying to find the right words. My throat was clogged, and I was speechless for a few moments. When she arrived by my side, Delaney looked at my hands and then back at me.
“Naijhel, . . . is that your dad’s ashes?”
I nodded slowly.
“Oh, sweetheart. Is this what he wanted?”
I nodded again.
“Then that’s what we need to do. Why are you hesitant?”
I shrugged, cleared my throat, and finally found the words to speak.
“I was torn this morning between two truths. I vowed to myself when you agreed to be mine that I wouldn’t put anything before you the way that I did with Tracy.
You wanted to ride in this vehicle when I got it restored, and I couldn’t think of a single person I wanted to call and say that I had completed it besides my father. You were the only one who came to mind.
“Then there was his request. He had told my mama and us, since we were boys, that when he passed, he wanted his remains spread in the ocean from Scenic Bluff. Although they weren’t together, my parents were still friends. My mama reminded me of that when he passed.
“The weekend before he died, I remember we were working on this car. He said that if he died before we finished, he wanted me to drive the car with his remains up here and spread them out while Al Green’s “Love and Happiness” played from the eight-track.”
Delaney stared at me with tears in her eyes. “That is the most beautiful way I could think of to say goodbye. Where has he been all this time?”
“In my garage watching over this old car. My brother said that I could keep the remains. We were both close to my dad, but he was closer to my mom, and I was closer to my dad. It was Dad and I who were working on the car at the time, and it was me who found him.”
“Do you think that Brandon would want to be here when you spread his ashes?”
“No. He told me once before that whenever I decided to do it, he was good on all that. He told me that he had said his goodbyes, and he wouldn’t be able to do it a second time, unless I needed him.”
“Do you need him?”
“I have you.”
“Always,” she replied, pushing up on her tiptoes to cradle my face and kiss me. “Now let’s go give your father the proper goodbye that he deserves.”
I turned on the car, popped the 8-track tape in, and let Big Al do his thing. Delaney grabbed my free hand and led me to the edge of Scenic Bluff.
“This was supposed to be a day with my woman, chilling and taking it easy. A day of love.”
“I can’t think of anything more loving than what you’re doing: You’re honoring your father, and you’re allowing me to share his precious moment with you.”
I nodded and unscrewed the top on the urn.
We walked through clumps of sea thrift, or sea pinks as they were most commonly known in our area, to the barrier of the cliff.
I picked a spot where the wind was to our backs.
The gentle waves lapped at the shore, and the ocean’s mild breeze whipped over us.
“This is heaven right here,” Delaney professed with a sigh.
She took the urn top from my hand, and I wrapped my arms around the urn.
“Ole man, this ain’t goodbye. This is me telling you to soar on the ocean, become one with God’s creation, and keep watch over me until I see you again. Love you, Pops.”
I lifted the urn, pressed my lips against it in a kiss, and then Delaney took the urn from my arms and held it up. She poured the ashes into my hand slowly, and I released them over the cliff, watching as the wind took them down and away from us. We continued with that until they were all gone.
When I was finished, she took the top and screwed it back on the urn before she set it down between our feet.
She reached up and kissed away the teardrop that trailed down my cheek from my left eye before she pulled me into her embrace.
I wrapped her tightly and closed my eyes while I made peace with the fact that my dad was truly gone.
We walked back to the car and placed the urn inside of the trunk. I grabbed her hand and led her down the rickety stairs to the beach. We walked along it for a while, holding hands.
It was several moments before either of us spoke.
“Do you want to know what my biggest fear was after my divorce?”
“What was it?”
“That I would never fall in love again, marry, or have children.”
“You only needed to be patient and know those things would come in time, be patient and have faith. We both know that I’m your future husband.”
She smiled and laughed. “Don’t you find it odd that something like what we share could happen between us, and you’re the one who fought on the other side of my divorce?”
“I don’t believe that relationships, caring for someone, or love should have any restrictions or boundaries. You can’t help who you care for, and just because they don’t fit into society’s box of expectations doesn’t mean that you can’t have what your heart desires.”
“I worry about the ethics of it all. I know you tell me not to, but what about the state board? Couldn’t you lose your license?”
“I’m not worried about that. They do have expectations for you to let some time pass before becoming involved with parties of opposing counsel, as well as making sure the case is closed. The case has been closed for some time, and a year has passed. I think it’s suitable for me to be with you.”
“What if you take the risk and lose everything?”
“I won’t lose.”
“But what if you do?”
“Then I will make sure that it’s worth it.”
“How?”
“I’ll snag your heart, and I won’t let go.”
“You already did, sir. You already did.”