CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Grayson
I was pacing the living room with a tumbler of vodka in my hand when Easton and Holden walked in. I’d put in at least a fucking mile with how many passes I’d done so far, turning at the windows and again at the corner of the couch. Back and forth across the length of my living room.
With each step, I was piecing together the parts of the story that hadn’t made sense earlier.
The progression of how it all unfolded.
The lies.
Now that I could wrap my head around it all, I swore there was fucking smoke coming out the top of me.
“Get a drink.” I nodded at the bar as I made my way toward where they were now sitting. “You’re going to need one.”
Easton looked at Holden, but neither of them got up.
“What the fuck is going on?” Easton asked.
I halted at the windows, placing my back against the cool glass. That should have been enough to bring down my body temperature. To lower me from boiling to simmering.
But it didn’t.
There was a fire inside me, and it wasn’t letting up.
“I got an interesting package in the mail today—well, shit, it wasn’t actually for me; it was for Jovana. But I’d just opened our wedding invitation that had also come in the mail, and I was so goddamn distracted that I didn’t see her name on the package and assumed it was for me.” I wrapped an arm across the middle of my stomach.
As Holden stared at me, his hands hung between his spread knees, a dumbfounded look growing across his face. “Okay ...”
“It was a fucking plaque.” I couldn’t stand here. I needed to move. So I pushed myself off the window and went into the kitchen, where I’d left the gift on the counter and lifted it high enough for them to see. “Boston College sent this to her—the school where she got her bachelor’s—as a gift because she had the most-read article in the school newspaper.” I set my vodka down so I could grip the plaque with both hands, aiming it toward their faces. “You know, the article that was titled ‘Hooked for Life or Marketing Ploy?’ The one that went fucking viral? And was written by Anonymous?” The wood felt so acidic in my hands, I wanted to throw it across the room. I set it down before I whipped it like a Frisbee. “The writer wasn’t so anonymous after all. It was Jovana.”
“Hold on a second.” Easton moved to the end of the cushion. “Let me make sure I have this straight.” He clasped his hands together, and I could tell he was deep in thought. “She wrote the article that appeared in the school newspaper? The one that published right after the Celebrity Alert went out?”
Both of my hands clenched into fists. “Yes.”
“And she never told you she was the one who wrote the story?” Easton continued.
“Correct.” I cleared my throat, the sound like a growl. “And I’m positive she had no intention of ever telling me. My address isn’t even on this goddamn package. It’s her old apartment, but because they sent it through the mail, it was forwarded here.”
“But you said it was a gift?” Holden inquired. “So Jovana didn’t even know it was coming, right?”
“Right.” I took a sip. “What’s your point?”
“My point is, she wasn’t hiding the plaque from you, because she didn’t even know she was getting it.”
“Insignificant.” I waved my hand. “Moving on to the real point, which is that she signed a fucking contract to marry me. She then began to date me. And then I told her I had feelings for her, that I cared about her, that I wanted more with her. And the whole time”—I squeezed the glass as I walked back to the wall of windows—“she was fucking lying to me.”
Holden shook his head. “Lying ... no.”
I paused midstep and glared at him. “Why the hell are you sticking up for her?”
“I’m not.”
“But you are. I feel like you have been since I started this story.”
“I’m just trying to make you see where she was coming from, something you’re usually unable to do because you’re stuck so far inside your head, all you feel is rage.” Holden glanced around the room. “Where is she, anyway?”
“Out for a walk,” I snapped, and kept marching across the floor until the windows were behind my back. “The article that she wrote was fucking nasty. You both know that. It was meant to tear me down and destroy me. And she didn’t just come for me, she came for Hooked too. And then she signed that contract, knowing she shredded me, and she started promoting our company. Talk about being a conniving, backstabbing—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Holden said, interrupting me. “You need to look at this from a different angle.”
“Holden, I’m about ready to knock out your teeth.”
He raised his hand. “Hear me out, okay?” He paused, waiting for a response, which I wouldn’t give him. “You hooked up with Jovana the night we all went to the bar.”
“So?”
“Jesus, Grayson, give me a second.” Holden took a breath. “You had sex with her at your condo and things didn’t end well, am I right?”
I shrugged.
“And then you didn’t speak to her again until the night our executive team and Laura went to the bar to discuss your situation a bit further. And that was after the article was published and the Celebrity Alert aired, right?”
I moved the tumbler toward my mouth but didn’t take a drink. “I still don’t understand why any of this fucking matters.”
“You’re not putting yourself in her shoes,” Holden said. “Jovana isn’t a woman who sleeps around, I’m assuming. She felt something with you. A connection—whatever—and she went home with you. You guys did your thing. And then you basically told her you wanted nothing to do with her, and a relationship would never happen.” He pushed up his sleeves. “For a woman who doesn’t do one-night stands and wasn’t even on our app, can you imagine how that could make her feel? How low? How shitty? How used?”
“I can’t fucking believe what I’m hearing right now ...”
“Fuck, Grayson, why can’t you understand what Holden is saying?” Easton bellowed.
I gazed at Easton. “Don’t even tell me you’re on his side ...”
“I’m not saying what she did was right. It wasn’t,” Easton replied. He tugged at the thigh area of his jeans, straightening them out to get more comfortable on the couch. “She should have told you, there’s no question about it—it’s definitely fucked up of her—but can you at least comprehend why she didn’t?”
“No. I can’t comprehend a goddamn thing aside from how mad I am right now.” I tried to breathe but couldn’t. “She should have told me before she signed the contract. End of story.”
“True,” Holden countered. “But if she had feelings for you then, and I suspect she did, then she knew she would immediately ruin anything that was going to happen the moment she said something to you.”
My head dropped, staring at the floor.
Why is this so fucking hard?
“This is bullshit,” I grumbled. “Complete, utter bullshit.”
Silence ticked between us until Holden broke it. “Our favorite side of him is back.”
“I can see that,” Easton replied.
“Stop fucking talking about me like I’m not in the room!”
“Grayson ...” Easton’s voice was calm, but it had an edge to it. “I need you to listen to me. I need you to step back for a second and look at the whole picture.” He let those words simmer between us. “Jovana had a motive to write that article. She was pissed—at the way you treated her, at the entire situation, and then at the Celebrity Alert that showed you on a yacht with six other women. Picture her face when that alert came across her phone. When she saw the photos of you. When she heard the speech you gave to bachelorhood.” He paused again. “Now picture how she felt about all of it.”
I frowned at my best friends. “You two are unbelievable.”
“Can you fathom how that could wreck her?” Easton pushed. “Flip it around, pretend you were the one who had feelings for her. She told you she wanted nothing to do with you. She all but tossed you out of her condo. You don’t see her again—and then, boom, she’s on vacation with six dudes. Are you going to tell me that wouldn’t sting?”
I continued to glare at them.
Without saying a word.
Easton grabbed a beer from the fridge, and on his way back to the couch, he said, “So, she wrote an article when she was in a vulnerable place. Hooked was already affected by the Celebrity Alert. Did the article hurt us more, yes. But there were other articles, Grayson. Jovana’s wasn’t the only one.” He twisted off the cap and took his first drink. “We had Google Alerts set up and they were coming in by the dozen every hour, every day. Journalists thrive off negativity, and when they can throw their opinions into the mix, it only benefits their readership.” He glanced at Holden, who was nodding. “Jovana wrote some strong words that were aimed at you and our company, pointing out that you represent the marriage arm and it’s clear from the photos it’s not something you believe in, so why would our customers want to believe in it. As much as I hate to say this, she’s right. You didn’t believe in it. What she said in that article wasn’t a lie.”
“And for all the bad that came from that article and all the others that were published,” Holden said, “so much good has happened because of them too.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I groaned.
“Business is stronger than ever.” Holden held out his hand and started counting on his fingers. “We’ve recouped our losses and increased revenue by twenty-eight percent in the marriage arm. And then there’s the two of you.”
“The two of who?” I roared.
“You and Jovana.” Holden smiled. “You said it yourself today that you love her.”
“Loved,” I clarified, shocked that I’d even said the word out loud.
“Oh, come on, man.” Easton sighed. “You didn’t fall out of love with her because she didn’t tell you the truth about one minor detail. That woman doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I’m sure she assumed no one was even going to read the article. She was angry, bitter, and she used her words to fight back. And because you were in the news and the topic was hot, the story took off and went viral.”
“Don’t let this ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you,” Holden said softly.
His statement hit me.
And I tried to fill my lungs.
I tried to calm the hell down.
I tried to sip the vodka that was still in my hand, but even the look of it made my stomachache worse. I set it down and said, “I’m blown away. By all of this.”
“You went into this thinking that there are sides,” Easton said. “That’s how your brain works. You against the world. Always. But that isn’t the case.” He placed his beer on the coffee table. “This isn’t us against you or you against her. When you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t work that way. You communicate the problem. You work through it. You move on. Now”—he cut me off as I was about to butt in—“I get that she didn’t do that, but we’ve made it very clear why she didn’t.”
I wrung my hands together. “And that makes it okay?”
Holden nodded toward me. “You’ve been anti-everything since the moment she met you. She didn’t give up, though, did she? She showed you who she was, what she wanted, what the two of you could have together.”
“It goes deeper than that and we all know it.” Easton’s gaze softened as he looked at me. “She’s not your mother, Grayson. You treated Jovana like shit, and she didn’t walk, even though she could have at any point.”
“You’re right,” Holden added. “What she did instead was show you that she loves you.”
If she had told me she loved me, I would have pushed her away.
I would have used that as a reason to end things.
To terminate the contract.
To never see or talk to her again.
That was what I was looking for—reasons.
Because I didn’t know how to do this.
Because I was so fucking scared of this.
Because I didn’t want my future to turn out the way my father’s did.
But the truth was, I wanted her.
I loved her.
“What do I do?” I looked at Easton, and then at Holden. “Do I repackage the plaque and pretend I never saw it? Do I bring this up to her and attempt to have a normal conversation about it?”
“Can you talk to her without losing your shit?” Holden asked.
Just as I was about to answer, there was a vibration in my pocket. A series of pulses that told me it was a phone call coming through, not a social media notification.
I took out my phone, my eyes widening from the caller ID that showed the largest hospital in Boston was phoning me.
“Why the hell would Mass General be calling me right now?”
“Answer it,” Holden said. “What if—God forbid—something happened to your dad?”
Fuck me.
I swiped the screen and held the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Grayson Tanner?”
“It is.” I looked at my best friends, my heart racing even harder than it already was.
“This is Denise. I’m a nurse in the emergency department at Mass General. I’m calling because Jovana Winters was in an accident, and she just arrived by ambulance to our hospital. I was able to unlock her phone and she has you listed as her emergency contact.”
The words weren’t sinking in.
They were just hitting my ears.
And everything was ringing.
Followed by a numbness.
“She was ... in an accident?” I flattened my hand against the glass behind me.
“Yes.”
“Is she going to be all right?”
“She’s headed into surgery now.”
Surgery.
It felt like my chest was being cut open without any anesthesia.
“What surgery? What happened?” My voice was rising. “Is she going to be all right?” I repeated since she hadn’t answered me the first time.
“All I can tell you is that they’re wheeling her into an operating room right now. Unfortunately, I can’t release any other information at this time.”
“I’m her fucking fiancé.”
“I understand. But there are HIPAA laws that we must—”
“I don’t give a shit about HIPAA.”
“Mr. Tanner, you’re more than welcome to come to the hospital and wait for her—”
“I’ll be right there,” I said, and I hung up.
I slid the phone into my pocket and scanned the room, looking for something.
Anything that would help me.
That would explain how this could happen.
That would make this stabbing pain in my chest feel better.
“I ... have to go.” I pushed off the glass and headed for the door.
“What happened?” Easton asked from behind me.
“Jovana is headed into surgery. She was in an accident.”
“What?”
I said over my shoulder, “And they won’t fucking tell me anything else.”
“Is she going to be all right?” Holden asked.
I could hear them following me, and I replied, “I don’t know.”
“I’ll get us a car service,” Easton said.
I opened the door, and they followed me to the elevator.
“You need to call Jovana’s parents and let them know,” Holden said. “Do you have their number?”
Did I have their number?
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t wrap my head around what information I had and didn’t have.
I couldn’t feel anything aside from this heartbeat that was echoing through me, radiating like electricity.
“Grayson,” Holden said.
I looked at him as I stepped into the elevator.
“Do you have their number? I’ll call them if you want me to.”
I shook my head.
I swallowed.
I felt the pain shoot across my chest again and into my throat. “What if I lose her?”
“You’re not going to lose her—”
I pounded my fist against the elevator wall. “You don’t know that!” I inhaled as deeply as I could. “You don’t fucking know that.”
“We’re going there now, and we’re going to be there when she gets out of surgery,” Holden said.
He was calm.
Too goddamn calm.
“I was so mad at her.” My voice was gone. Only a whisper was left. “Mad about the article. Mad about the plaque. Mad that she hadn’t told me.” The ache dived into my stomach and churned. “And while I was mad, she was fucking hurting. While I was screaming, she was on her way to the hospital.”
Easton threw his arm around my shoulders, shaking me. “It’s going to be all right, buddy. I promise.”
But he didn’t know that.
He was just filling me with false promises.
The only thing that would take this feeling away was seeing my baby, wrapping my arms around her, and having her look me in the eyes and tell me she was all right.
Silence stretched across the small room, but nothing in my head was quiet.
The guilt was eating at my skin.
The fear was knocking on every muscle.
The worry was slicing right through me.
“I promised her father,” I whispered. I didn’t realize I’d been staring at the floor, and I glanced up, looking at Holden’s face since Easton was beside me and too close. “I promised him nothing would happen to her while she was with me ... and look who the liar is now.”