โ๐๐๐ก๐ฅ๐๐ฃ ๐
Ted has called me to his office once again. This time, he said it was serious. Nothing about Ted was ever seriousโwell, except for his hairline. The moment I enter, I see him clicking away at his laptop, locking eyes with me once I'm seated.
"Ted, you called." I say, a little rushed.
"Yes. How are you, Dixie?" He clasps his hands together, smiling without his teeth.
"I'm okay, Ted."
"Great. That's lovely." He replies, voice uncertain. "And how's your husband? Mr. West?"
The question catches me off guard. Ted doesn't ask about my family much, and when he does, it means he's trying to make silly conversation to cover up something big.
"What exactly does my husband have to do with anything?" I raise my eyebrows.
He drops his shoulders, letting out a short laugh. "Dixie, I don't see a problem in asking how Mr. West is."
The truth is, I don't know how my husband is doing. In fact, I never do. The most talking we've done was when we argued, and you certainly can't bond over that. So no, I never really know how Cameron is doing, Ted. But I don't say all that to him.
"Ted, you know I hate it when people beat around the bush." I say firmly. "What's going on?"
That knocks him out. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at me.
"It's about your case. Justin Deyes."
I straighten my back a little. "What about it?"
"Dixie...Prosecution is pushing for the death penalty."
A death sentence? The words echo in my head. "Why?"
"The fire killed at least three people. Five were wounded." he continues, "If we don't get evidence in time...he's not making it out of this."
I stand up from my spot immediately, picking up my files. I wasn't going to watch an innocent man get sentenced to death. Someone framed him and I know it. Justin Deyes wasn't going anywhere on my watch.
"Dixie, where are you going?"
I reach the door handle, pausing before turning around. "Justin Deyes isn't going to die."
~
I'm in my office, and all my papers are sprawled across my desk. I have what I need. My witnesses, timelines, and reports. All the evidence is right in front of my eyes, I just can't connect anything.
Three were killed, five were wounded, yet they are all trying to pin it on Justin Deyes. This wasn't easy or clean, and I needed a real lead.
"No," I mutter under my breath, scanning a page. "That doesn't make sense."
My mind goes back to when Justin told me about how his landlord was high. Could his landlord have been in on it? That wasn't a bad thought. He said he saw him near the pool when he got back from work, and Justin had been late on payments prior. But he never said he saw his landlord start the fire.
My train of thoughts gets interrupted when the door clicks open.
"Well," her voice cuts through the room, smooth and laced with something artificial, "this is cute."
I close my eyes for half a second before looking up slowly.
It was no other than Georgia. Around my age, all long blonde hair, sharp green eyes, and the kind of pretty that soured the second she opened her mouth.
She had hated me ever since I joined the firmโwhich I believe was because I was a black woman getting ahead of her.
Funny how my being Black, competent, and ahead of her seemed to itch under her skin.
Her heels click against the floor as she walks in without being invited any further.
"Georgia, what do you want?" I sigh, looking back at my papers.
"Wow, straight to the point," she says. "No 'hello'? 'how are you'?"
"We both know you don't care," I reply quickly.
"At least you know something." She snipes back.The urge to rearrange her face was becoming spiritual. My hand literally twitched.
"You know," she continues, "there's been talk."
"There's always talk."
"This time it's about you." She says snarky.
That makes me lean back slightly in my chair. "Okay?"
"They're concerned about whether you can handle this."
"'They'?" I repeat. "Or just you?"
"Oh, don't flatter me. I don't need to start rumors."
"Then get to your point." I watch as she sits on the chair in front of me.
"Why did Ted give this to you?" She asks, tilting her head.
I laugh humorlessly. "Oh, maybe because I'm smart, I actually know how to defend my clients andโ"
"Or maybe because you slept with him?" She cuts me off.
I glare at her. I'm not shocked she would stoop that low, but I am disgusted by her way of thinking.
"You've gotten that desperate, huh?" I smirk.
"No, I just need answers."
"No," I correct, my tone sharpening, "you're throwing accusations because you don't like the answer to your own question."
She crosses her legs, settling deeper into the chair like she has all the time in the world.
"And what answer is that?"
"That I earned it," I say simply.
"Oh please." She throws her hand up, scoffing.
"You really think sex is the only way someone like me gets a case like this?" I ask.
Her eyes narrow just slightly.
"I think," she says slowly, "that people don't just hand out cases with this much pressure unless there's a reason."
"The reason is that I'm better than you."
"You're also reckless. Taking on a case like this when everyone knows you've been-"
She stops herself, but I'm intrigued in what she was going to say.
"When everyone knows I've been what?" I press.
She smirks before clearing her throat.
"Off your game." She adds, "with that fuck ass dead baby of yours."
Oh, I know this bitch did not just talk about Jordyn like that.
It was obvious Georgia never met someone that humbled her.
She had no amount of class, so I don't know where she's getting at with her bad mouth.
The things I want to do to her right now would get me thrown in jail, so I exhale through my nose and drop my shoulders.
Plus, I still wanted to figure out this whole fire situation, and I can't do that while I'm in jail.
"Georgia, I would already be gone if I were you." I say, my voice calm.
She looks me up and down before chuckling. "What are you going if I don't?"
"It'll be interesting," I continue, "Because last I checked, I'm still the one with this case."
Her expression shifts, and she folds her arms.
"I'm still the one you felt the need to come into my office and talk to," I add.
"Careful, Georgia, because it seems like you're getting desperate. Maybe you're the one that slept with Ted to get to the filth you call a job."
I pack my papers before standing up. "Well, I've gotta go do some..important stuff. Not that you would understand."
I get to the door handle, feeling pride explode in my chest. She shifts in her chair before calling my name.
"Dixie?" She says. I pause, but I don't turn around.
"I hope you die." she says, quiet but firm.
I smile sweetly before looking back at her. "You can't win everyone over."
~
Now that I don't have my car, Cameron has to pick me up from work everyday. It's not bad, but you can tell the air and energy is just awkward and tense. Cameron will always try to make conversation, I'm just never in the mood, and so the sound of the radio fills up the space.
I get into his car, and slam the door behind me. Cameron looks up from his phone, and starts the engine.
"Hey, baby," he says, pulling out of the parking lot, "How was work?"
"I'm really tired." I say, blunt. It was the truth. While I loved my job, it could be very hectic handling important materials.
Okay." he glances over, putting his hand on my thigh. "Anyway, I'll drop you at home because I've got somewhere I need to be."
I look at him for a hot minute before leaning back in my seat. "What? Where?"
"Did I never tell you?" his eyebrows furrow and he chuckles. "One of my buddies from work is having a birthday party."
Of course someone like Cameron had to attend a birthday party. I couldn't blame himโhe was handsome, charismatic, everything I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if he's trying to get away from me. I would too. If I was him, I would've gotten a divorce by now.
"So you were never planning on telling me?" I say, my voice quiet.
"What? No. I forgot," he pulls on a familiar street. "Will you be okay by yourself?"
I roll my eyes, looking out the window. He says it like I need checking on."Of course, I'm not a child."
I watch as he pulls into the driveway of our house. He kills the engine before turning to me.
"Okay. Bye, Dix. Love you." I cringe as he holds my chin and kisses my cheek.
I quickly gather my belongings and get out of the car. The porch lights have been turned off, but the moonlight still shines down.
I get in, and I'm met with silence. It was like this every day. I hate when it feels like a house instead of a home. I slip my shoes off absentmindedly and walk further through the mansion.
For a second, I don't even know where I'm going. I reach the kitchen, the main bathroom, and the patio, just to bring me back to very door I'm standing in front of.
Jordyn's Room!The sign on her door reads in cursive. My hands hover over the knob, like I'm rethinking my every move as of this moment.
The door creaks when I push it open. It still smells faintly like herโor maybe that's just me.
Her room is untouched- me and Cameron swore we would never come here unless we needed to clean, and even that was kept at a limit.
Her favorite blanket is tucked on the corner of her bed; her stuffed animals are lined up against the wall like they're waiting for her to come and pick one.
I step inside slowly, like I'm afraid I'll disturb or awaken something. Almost like she might be here if I'm quiet enough.
"Hi, baby." My voice is quiet. I walk over to her bed, my hand brushing over the blanket before I sit down carefully, like I used to when I'd tuck her in. I can still see her face begging me not to go after I finished story time.
"I would stay," I whisper, shaking my head slightly. "I would stay forever if I could."
The tears come down hot and sudden. There is no reason to stop them now. I've bottled up all my emotions just for them to come undone right here. They fall down harder, slipping down my cheeks as I sit on the floor.
"I'm sorry," I breathe. "I'm so, so sorry."
You should've been there to save her.
Why am I here when she isn't?
I keep repeating it over and over in my head until I can't hear the thoughts anymore. My shoulders shake as I bend forward slightly, covering my face with my hands.
"I miss you," I cry out. "I miss you so much."
I lift my head after a moment, wiping my face with the back of my hand, my eyes drifting around the room again. Cameron would've held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like I was the one that needed protection. I doubt he would now from the way I've been to him.
"Your dad misses you too," I swallow. "He's trying to be okay, too."
It doesn't feel like that, though. It feels like he's trying to move on without her. The thought makes me sick, because I know he wouldn't do that.
"I can't do that," I whisper. "I don't want to forget you."
The idea alone feels like betrayalโlike losing her all over again. I shift, pulling her small pillow into my lap, holding it close to my chest.
It's stupid, I know it is, but right now, it's the closest thing I have to her. A broken sound escapes me, way louder this time, and I press my face harder into the pillow, my shoulders shaking as the sobs come faster and heavier.
"I can't do this," I weep, the words barely making it out between breaths. "I can't-I can't do this without you, Jordyn."
My eyelids droop slightly, and the crying slows down eventually because I'm so tired. My breathing evens out though it still catches every now and then, small hiccups breaking through the deafening quiet.
I lay my head on her rug, holding the pillow to my chest. "I love you."
For a moment, the room feels a little less empty.
"My sweet Jordyn, I love you so much." I stare at the unicorn poster on the wall in front of me. She used to love unicorns too- said she would make it her life's mission to find one one day.
I let my eyes close, as I drift off. The ache in my chest unravels as imagination blends with bittersweet memories. My grip on the pillow doesn't loosenโ I'm afraid I'll let go of what was already lost.