ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜𝟞 #2
I hated that my voice sounded so small. I didn't want them seeing that it bothered me.
I didn't want anyone seeing that it bothered me.
Cameron had already been pulling away from me. He wasn't touching me the same way, he wasn't telling me things.
And now I was hearing that another woman was spending more time with him.
A woman who was apparently easier to be around, someone who hadn't hurt him.
A woman who probably didn't make him feel like he had to constantly fix something.
My stomach twisted.
Stop. I forced the thought away. This is not about you.
Cameron was injured. That was why I was here.
I wasn't going to stand in a fire station and worry about another woman when my husband had been burned.
"So where is he?" My voice was firmer this time.
Hunter's expression softened slightly. "Down the hall."
"Which way?"
"Right. You'll see the equipment room." Brody pointed.
"Thank you." I started walking again.
Behind me, I heard Hunter mutter, "Man, I think I fucked that up."
Brody replied, "Yeah. You think?"
"I was just joking."
"Not everybody thinks you're funny."
"I know you're not talking."
"Shut the hell up."
On a regular day I would've smiled at their conversation. But I couldn't right now. I walked down the hallway.
The voices became quieter, then I heard Cameron.
I followed it, then I turned the corner.
There he was. Cameron was sitting on a bench near the equipment area, talking to Ryan. His uniform shirt had been pulled slightly upward.
One hand rested against his side. He was inspecting the burn himself.
My conversation with Brody and Hunter suddenly disappeared.
All I could see was him, and the angry red patch along the side of his stomach.
My heart dropped.
Ryan was standing beside him, scrolling on his phone, except Ryan wasn't wearing a shirt. I stopped so abruptly that my shoe squeaked against the floor.
Ryan looked up.
I quickly covered my eyes.
"Oh my.." I immediately turned my head away. "I'm so sorry."
Cameron looked up. "What are you sorry for?"
"I thought I walked into the locker room."
Ryan glanced down at himself and then back at me. A grin slowly spread across his face.
"Hi, Dixie. Don't be sorry."
I finally looked at him again.
"This isn't the locker room."
I frowned.
Ryan gestured around us. "I just took my shirt off because it's hot in here."
I stared at him.
"You...you took your shirt off because you're hot?"
"Exactly."
I palmed my forehead "Great, now I feel even worse."
Ryan laughed, Cameron did too.
I looked at him.
For a second, everything else faded. I hadn't heard that sound directed at me in what felt like forever.
Ryan looked between us.
"Okay," he said slowly. "I'm getting the feeling I'm interrupting something."
"You're not," Cameron said, smiling at him.
Ryan raised an eyebrow.
We were all silent again and suddenly the air in the room felt very awkward.
"Sure," He grabbed his shirt from the back of a chair and started walking away. "I'm going to give you two some space."
"Ryan-"
"Don't worry about it." He pointed at Cameron. "Take care of that."
Then Ryan pointed at me. "And you, try not to accidentally walk into any more firefighters."
Despite myself, I quickly chuckled. "Roger that."
Ryan laughed as he disappeared down the hallway.
The room became quiet. I looked at Cameron. His smile had already disappeared, and his attention had returned to his side.
Was he mad at me?
He couldn't have been. No.
He didn't have the right to be when he had been talking about me to Brody and Hunter.
I glanced down, and I could see the burn again. The skin was red and irritated, stretched across his side in an ugly patch.
"Cam.." I covered my mouth.
He glanced at me. "I'm okay."
I shook my head.
"No, you're obviously not. Let me see."
He hesitated, then he lifted his shirt slightly.
I stepped closer. My eyes burned. I blinked quickly, but it didn't help.
A tear slipped down my cheek. Cameron's expression changed immediately.
"Dix?"
I wiped my face. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?"
"I don't know." I shook my head.
Another tear fell. I hated crying in front of him. Especially because I couldn't even explain what was happening inside me.
I couldn't stop glancing down at his stomach. I sighed as I covered my mouth with my hand again
Cameron stood. "Dixie, come on."
"Sit down."
He stopped. "What?"
"Sit down Cameron, please."
"I'm fine."
"I know, but I want to help you."
"You don't have to."
I wiped another tear away before I pointed toward the bench.
"Please."
Something in his face softened just barely. Finally, he sat.
I crouched in front of him, looking at the burn. "Did they clean it?"
"Yeah. Earlier."
"Who?"
"Paramedic checked it, I'm fine."
I looked up at him. "You keep saying that."
"Maybe because I am, Dixie." Cameron sighed.
"Then tell me, why does it look like that?"
"Because burns tend to look like burns."
I gave him a look. He almost smiled, but quickly covered it up.
I stood and walked toward the small medical cabinet.
"Dixie, what're you doing?"
"Don't worry about it. I know where the supplies are. I know this station, Cam."
I opened the cabinet, pulling out what I needed and brought everything back.
Cameron watched me.
I sat beside him, carefully reaching toward his side. He flinched.
My hand stopped. "Sorry."
"It's fine."
I looked at him. "Did that hurt?"
"A little."
"You could've said something." I muttered.
"Well, I would, but you would've worried." Cam whispered back.
I glanced up to meet his eyes staring back up at me. Something about the way he started made me flustered.
Ryan really wasn't lying. It was hot in here.
Or maybe it was the tension between us. Now I could really use some therapy explaining this.
"I am worried."
His eyes met mine and neither of us looked away.
I lowered my gaze and carefully continued. My fingers were gentle as I cleaned around the burn, making sure not to press against the irritated skin.
Cameron stayed still, letting me clean, though I was sure the paramedics already handled that.
I just wanted to do it again.
The silence between us felt strange. I could hear the distant voices from the other side of the station.
"So, uh.."
I glanced at him. I couldn't continue in this awkward silence. Cameron's eyes remained fixed on my hands.
"So," I repeated, mostly because I needed to hear my own voice again, "What'd they say about the burn?"
"They didn't say too much."
I looked back down. "So it's just me?"
His eyes flickered toward mine. "For now. They're supposed to come back soon. "
I looked down quickly and continued cleaning around the edge of the burn.
"You're being very cooperative, not arguing." I say, trying to relieve some tension.
"I don't have the energy."
I smiled faintly. "That's obvious."
I glanced up only to see he didn't smile. My smile faded.
I should've remembered.
I focused on what I was doing. "Does it hurt when I do this?"
"No."
I pressed slightly farther away from the irritated area. "What about this?"
"A little." His jaw tightened.
I immediately stopped. "Really? I'm sorry."
Cam looked forward, chuckling quietly. "It doesn't hurt that bad, Dixie."
"Your face says otherwise."
"My face?" He looked at me.
I nod.
"What does my face say?"
I finally looked up. "That you're trying really hard not to complain."
His eyebrow lifted. "Hm. Maybe."
He looked away again, but I smiled to myself. For half a second, I thought I saw the corner of his mouth lift.
Maybe I imagined it.
The room felt warmer. Ryan had said it was hot.
That was all.
It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Cameron was looking at me like that.
I shifted slightly on the bench. "Ryan wasn't lying."
"About what?" His eyes moved to me.
I tried to keep my voice casual. "It really is hot in here."
His eyes lingered on my face, then dropped. "Yeah."
I swallowed.
That was just great. At least I was trying to make conversation.
Cameron's eyes narrowed slightly. "You're talking a lot, are you okay?"
"I'm nervous." That came out before I could stop it. Cameron looked at me. I immediately regretted saying it.
"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're staring at me."
"I wasn't, I was watching what you were doing."
"That's kind of the same thing."
"No, it isn't."
"It is when your eyes are on me." I murmur, throwing the tissue away in the trash can beside me.
Cameron didn't react to that. I didn't expect he would.
I pretended not to notice as I carefully dabbed another section. His muscles tightened beneath my fingertips.
I froze. "Oh, sorry. Did I hurt you?"
"No."
"So why'd you tense up?"
"I didn't."
"Don't lie, I've known you for a long time."
His face went still.
I've known him long enough to know when he was lying, enough to know when he was angry and long enough to know when he was trying not to react to me.
My eyes dropped to his mouth- just for a second.
I looked away quickly. I couldn't do that when everything between us was still so fragile.
Just what was wrong with me this afternoon?
I finished cleaning the last part of the burn and carefully set the gauze aside.
"There."
Cameron looked down. "All done?"
"Almost."
"What else?" He sighed.
I reached for the dressing. He watched silently as I prepared it.
Once I finished securing the dressing, I sighed contently. "There."
He looked down at it. "Thank you."
I nodded.
Neither of us moved.
My hand was still resting near his side, and I realized it at the same time he did.
I slowly pulled it away, clearing my throat. "You should probably keep it covered."
"I will."
"And don't lift anything heavy."
"I won't."
He stood, and I stood too. We were close enough that I could feel the warmth coming off his skin.
"Thanks, Dix." Cameron stepped back, but it felt like a mile.
His eyes held mine for another second.