ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝𝟘
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I've stayed at Dannah's for a little while now.
I was finally getting back to my routine. I had already showered and got dressed, my hair was done, and I applied a little bit of makeup.
Just so I looked a little less tired than I actually was.
I was sitting on Dannah's kitchen table, typing away on my laptop. Mostly emails, and that type of stuff.
I had just finished replying to an email when I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.
Dannah appeared around the corner.
Her hair was completely wrapped in a bonnet, and one side of her pajama shirt was tucked into her shorts.
I glanced at the clock. It was barely nine.
"Good morning."
She squinted at me, rubbing her eyes slowly. "Oh, hey Dix. Why are you awake?"
"Habit."
She shuffled toward the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. She stared into it for several seconds before closing it.
"There's nothing to eat."
"I'm sure you can whip up something." I say.
"No, I'm terrible at cooking."
That reminded me of Cameron's cooking.
I guess everything reminded me of him now.
He was only able to make eggs and toast some toast, but once he started to watch all those cooking videos and shows because of my pregnancy cravings, he slowly got the hang of it.
Too bad I never picked up a thing or two.
I looked at her. "So what do you want?"
"I want someone else to make me breakfast." She sighed.
"Ah. Too bad I can't cook either."
She walked over and dropped into the chair across from me.
"That's okay. I'll probably just order something."
I nodded.
She rested her chin on her hand. "You look better."
"Do I?" I glanced up.
"A little. You could cry a river yesterday."
I laughed softly. "I was having a difficult time."
"I know."
Her expression softened slightly. Neither of us said anything for a moment. Then, Dannah pointed at my laptop.
"What are you working on?"
"Emails."
"Work emails?"
"Mhm," I nodded. "You know, ever since I won that case, a lot of people have been reaching out to me lately."
"Are you working right now?"
"I'm trying to."
She smiled. "Of course you are."
I closed the laptop halfway, then my eyes dropped toward my phone. It was lying beside my laptop.
"I've been thinking about calling Ted." I stared at it before picking it up.
Her eyebrows lifted.
"Oh," She leaned back. "Why haven't you?"
"I don't know." I looked down at my phone.
That wasn't entirely the truth. I knew exactly why. Calling Ted meant admitting that I wanted my position back.
It meant admitting that losing it had bothered me. Most importantly, it meant giving him the opportunity to say no.
After everything that had happened, I wasn't sure I could handle hearing that.
But like always, there was another part of me that couldn't stop thinking about it.
I had won. Not a small case- This wasn't just something Ted could brush off.
This was major. A case that had made the news. I'd helped prove that a man had been wrongfully imprisoned.
Surely that had to count for something. "I think I should call him."
"You should." Dannah nodded.
"I guess I don't want it to sound like I'm begging."
Except, I was begging. I just needed my job back. I needed something in my life to feel normal for once.
"Well then, don't beg."
I looked at her, giving her a stare.
"You're a lawyer. You know how to talk." Dannah shrugged.
"Not when it's personal."
"Don't make it personal."
I thought about that. Dannah leaned forward.
"Call him and tell him what you accomplished. That's it."
"Do you think I'll get my office back?" I lean back in my seat.
"You'll find out."
I sighed. "I hate when you're reasonable."
She smiled.
I looked at the phone again. My thumb hovered over Ted's contact.
I pressed it, and the phone began ringing.
It rang three times.
Why was I nervous? It was Ted. It was funny how calling my former boss made my palms sweat.
The call went through five rings before it hit voicemail. I stared at the screen.
Dannah looked at me. "Well?"
"He didn't answer."
"Leave a message."
"I don't want to leave a message, that's stupid." I made a face.
"Why?"
"Because then he'll know I called."
"That's how phone calls work, Dixie!"
I glared at her. She smiled innocently.
I pressed the button, and the voicemail greeting began.
I waited until the beep. "Hi, Ted. It's Dixie."
I paused. Why did my voice sound like that?
"I wanted to speak with you about the Deyes case and..." Dannah watched me as I cleared my throat. "About the outcome."
That sounded professional.
"I'd appreciate an opportunity to discuss my position when you have some time. Call me back when you can."
I ended the call soon after the last word.
Dannah nodded. "That was good."
"I sounded nervous, didn't I?"
"No, you sounded great, actually."
I put my phone down. "Now what?"
"We wait."
"I hate waiting." I groaned.
"You're going to have to."
I stared at the phone.
Dannah suddenly stood. "You could email him too."
"Yeah, I was thinking that."
She gave me a thumbs up before walking toward the hallway. "I'm going to shower."
"Okay."
She stopped and looked back at me. "Don't worry too much about it. I'm sure he'll answer soon."
I watched as she disappeared down the hallway. I smiled faintly, then opened my laptop again.
I created a new email.
I stared at the blank screen, then started typing.
Satisfied with the result, I sent it.
Okay..that was done.
I felt lighter. Maybe this could work.
Ted would see the case and realize what he'd lost, Georgia's little victory wouldn't last forever, and I'd walk back into that building and reclaim my office.
My eyes drifted toward the refrigerator. There was a calendar hanging beside it.
I hadn't noticed that before. I don't know why I was so intrigued by it.
I stood- I don't know why. Maybe I was just tired of staring at my laptop, and I wanted something else to think about.
I walked over. The calendar was covered in Dannah's handwriting.
It was the normal things you'd see on a calendar- appointments, bills, birthdays.
I scanned the dates casually. As I was reading, I came upon a very special date.
My heart sank. Jordyn's birthday- May 1st. Today was April 23rd.
I stared at the date.
I had known it was coming, of course I had- but seeing it written down made it feel different.
Every year, Cameron and I went together.
Every single year. It didn't matter what we'd been arguing about, and it certainly didn't matter how angry we'd been with each other.
We still went.
I could remember sitting in the passenger seat while Cameron drove. The way we'd stand beside each other afterward.
We sometimes hold hands, oftentimes not.
But we were always together.
My eyes remained fixed on the date.
This year was different, and I wasn't sure what we were anymore.
I wasn't even sure whether Cameron wanted me there.
I guessed he would go alone. He'd rather not see me. My jaw tightened at the thought of that.
Fine.
If he didn't want me there, I could go by myself- I didn't need him. I could do things by myself just fine.
I wasn't going to beg for him back.
I could stand at Jordyn's grave alone. I had survived worse things alone.
I crossed my arms.
I was perfectly capable of handling one day by myself. Actually, I would probably prefer it.
There wouldn't be any awkward conversations, pretending, no wondering whether Cameron was angry with me, and no wondering whether he still loved me.
I nodded to myself.
Problem solved.
Except it wasn't, because the moment I turned away from the calendar, I thought of him.
Cameron's arms, his melting hugs.
The warmth of his body against mine. The way he'd kiss my forehead when he thought I was upset.
His morning kisses.
The little sleepy ones he'd give me when he first woke up. I'd pretended to be annoyed by them even though I secretly waited for them.
I closed my eyes.
I wasn't doing this. I had left because I needed space- I couldn't spend every second thinking about him.
I couldn't...so why was I?
Cam, why'd you have to make this whole thing so difficult?
I opened my eyes.
I missed him.
There, I admitted it. I missed Cameron.
I missed his voice, his stupid jokes, I even missed him leaving his things in places they weren't supposed to be.
I missed waking up beside him, I missed him kissing me literally all the time.
Most of all, I missed being held by him.
His hugs had always made everything feel much better, even when we were angry.
Especially when I was stubborn. It was like he could melt all the bad feelings away.
There was something about being wrapped in his warm arms that made me feel like I didn't have to be strong for a couple seconds.
I hated needing anyone that much.
After everything we'd said, my mind still went straight to him. I hated that the closer Jordyn's birthday got, the more I wanted him beside me.
I looked back at the calendar, then I quickly looked away.
Don't think about him.
I returned to the table, and my phone sat beside my laptop.
I glanced at it.
There was nothing from Ted, nothing from Cameron.
I sighed. This was going to be a very long day.
~
A few minutes later, I heard the bathroom door open.
Dannah came back into the kitchen wearing a loose sweatshirt and leggings, her hair still in a towel
She looked at me, then at my phone. "Still nothing?"
"No." I shook my head.
"Staring at it isn't going to make Ted call faster." She walked over and glanced at the screen.
"I told you, I'm not very good at being patient."
"You'll learn eventually." She pulled out the chair across from me and sat down.
"You actually look like yourself today. Have I said that already?"
I nod, sighing.
I then glanced down at my clothes.
I'd put on a tight fitted black shirt with dark navy trousers and small gold hoop earrings. It was nothing extravagant or flashy- but it was just enough to make me feel put together.