ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝𝟚 #4
"Ha. I remember the time me and Hunter told Dixie that Rachel and you would make a better couple."
Brody and Hunter had been talking to Rachel? My eyes slowly lifted from the papers.
"What?"
Brody laughed.
"You know, when she came to check on your burn."
"What?" I sat up straighter.
"Me and Hunter were messing around."
I could feel my spine shiver. "Brody, what exactly did you say?"
Brody cleared his throat. "Well..."
"Brody." I gripped the phone tighter.
"We told her that Rachel and you had been talking a lot, and that maybe you two looked better together."
I stared at the wall. My mind immediately jumped back to my phone call with Dixie earlier today.
"Why don't you talk to Rachel, since you love talking so much?"
Holy shit. That wasn't random, she actually believed that.
I rubbed a hand over my face. "Brody..."
"What?" He chuckled.
"You told my wife that?"
"We were just joking!"
My chest tightened. Dixie had already been insecure, already wondering whether she was enough.Then those idiots just had to tell her I was talking to another woman.
I leaned forward. "Do you understand what that could've done?"
"Come on, man, it wasn't serious. Cam, we were messing around."
I stood up from the chair. "No- I don't care! You don't get to decide what's serious in somebody else's marriage."
"Dixie already feels like she's not enough. She always has."
Brody didn't speak. He didn't have to.
"Why would you tell her that another woman would be better for me?"
"Cam, seriously, it was a joke."
I looked out the window. "No, it wasn't. See! She believed you."
"Well then just tell her we were joking." Brody sighed.
I laughed quietly. "It's not that simple."
"Why not?"
Dixie remembered everything. She'd compare herself, and sit there quietly and convince herself she wasn't enough.
No!
Dixie was Dixie. Nobody replaced Dixie.
Nobody could.
She already thought she was difficult. I knew her.
I rubbed my face.
I was too tired to explain how much damage one stupid joke could do.
"Sorry." I said, quietly.
Brody sighed. "No, man. I'm sorry."
I nodded.
"I shouldn't have yelled."
"You barely yelled," He chuckled. "You've yelled at fires louder than that."
That almost made me smile.
"I've got to go."
"Okay, but Cam- don't take what we said to heart."
I closed my eyes. Too late for that.
"Bye, Brody."
"Bye, man."
The call ended shortly after.
I set my phone down on the table, where the missing poster sat.
I couldn't do it anymore. I sat down heavily, then covered my face with both hands.
Molly, Dixie, Jordyn.
Molly was missing, Jordyn was gone forever.
And Dixie...I don't even know what's up with her.
I hated that she believed that lie. The thought made me feel sick. I wiped my face roughly. I hadn't even noticed I started crying.
Hard to notice anything when everything feels like it's collapsing.
I dragged my hands down my face and stared at the floor. How had everything gotten this fucked up?
I tilted my head to the ceiling, imagining Dixie coming back home, hoping this was all just some silly, made up dream.
I missed her. That was the simplest way to put it.
I missed the way she looked at me when she was trying not to smile. I missed her coming home and immediately telling me every tiny detail about her day.
I missed her. All of her- even the stubborn parts. I leaned forward again, pressing my palms against my eyes.
I exhaled shakily.
She needs space.
I thought to myself. She asked for space.
I nodded slowly, wiping another tear from my cheek. "Okay. Give her space."
Every part of me wanted to get in the car, drive to Dannah's, knock on the door, and tell her she was my wife.
Tell her I missed her, and that I wanted her home.
I wanted to do all of it right now, but I couldn't- because she had asked me for space. As much as I hated it, I had to respect that.
I stared at my phone. I could've called. but I didn't.
"She's coming back when she's ready."
What if she wasn't?
What if she decided she was happier without me?
God forbid that.
What if she looked at everything we'd been through and decided it wasn't worth saving?
"No." I shook my head. Dixie wouldn't do that.
I was talking to myself now. To any sane person, I would've looked crazy.
I glanced at the missing poster again. I had enough to worry about. Molly needed me, and Dixie needed space.
I picked up the poster, my fingers trembling slightly.
I stared at Molly's smiling face, then I whispered, "I'm gonna find you."
I placed it back down.
My eyes burned again. "And I'm gonna get my wife back."
Admitting them made them more real. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I let myself think about her for a moment.
My Dixie.
The woman who had become my safe space. I missed her so badly it physically hurt, but she needed space.
So I'd give it to her.
Even if it killed me.
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. "Come home when you're ready, Dix."
I swallowed.
"Just please come home."
~