ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝𝟜 #2
I think I deserved to be back, right?
Cameron noticed my worried expression. "What are you thinking about?"
I looked away, crossing my arms, "I don't want to talk about it."
Cameron slowly nodded.
I walked farther into the house. The tote bag I carried with me suddenly felt 10 times larger. It was weighing down on my shoulder.
I couldn't stop thinking about Ted- I had won one of the biggest cases of my career.
It had been on the news. People knew my name, lawyers knew my name, and yet, I still didn't have my job back.
Georgia was still sitting in the position that should have been mine. In fact, after a case so big like that, Ted should've brought me back and promoted me.
That thought irritated me.
A lot.
"You could talk to me about it if you want."
I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. What part of no did Cameron not understand?
"I said I don't want to, please don't ask."
"Okay."
His voice remained calm. I got frustrated with everything now.
I turned around. "Why are you being so calm?"
Cameron blinked twice. "Because you asked me not to bother you."
"Well, you're still standing there."
"It's my house, too." He glanced around.
I stared at him.
He immediately raised his hands. "Sorry."
I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm just irritated, that's all."
"I can tell."
"Everything with my career is a mess, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it."
"You'll figure it out."
I scoffed. "That's easy for you to say."
Very easy for him to say, actually.
My career had been hanging over me for weeks.
I'd proven Justin Deyes was innocent. I'd stood in front of a courtroom and done exactly what I'd spent years training myself to do.
But the thing was, I still didn't know if Ted wanted me back. That was the part that made me angry.
I'd spent months trying to prove I was good enough to everyone- and maybe, embarrassingly, to Cameron too.
I wanted him to look at me and know I hadn't failed myself.
I wanted him to be proud of me, but I hated that I still cared so much about that.
"Dix, you don't stop until you've figured something out. I'm sure things will all work out for you in the end."
Except there was no end and this was a continuing nightmare for me.
Speaking of nightmares, I thought about Rachel. My husband's so-called, perfect lover.
My stomach tightened. I groaned quietly, rubbing my eyes.
"What?" Cameron followed behind me.
"Nothing."
"Dix."
"It's nothing!"
He took a small step toward me. "Why are you upset?"
"I'm fine."
"You're doing that face again."
I glared at him. "Maybe stop studying my face!"
"Yeah, okay." He stopped, then quietly asked, "Did I do something?"
I laughed once. "You tell me."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing."
"Dixie, c'mon."
I turned toward the stairs. "I'm really tired right now. I just want to go upstairs."
"That's fine."
I started walking, then I heard him behind me.
"Wait."
I stopped. "Yes?"
"Why are you suddenly mad at me?"
I turned back. "I'm not."
"Don't lie, I can tell you are."
"I'm really not in the mood for this. Why are you pretending you genuinely don't know?"
His expression became confused. "Maybe because I genuinely don't."
"Go ask Rachel." I stared at him.
Cameron furrowed his eyebrows, crossing his arms.
"What?"
"You heard me."
"Rachel?"
I folded my arms. "Since apparently you two have so much to talk about."
Cameron stared at me for several seconds, then his expression changed from confusion, to realization, then to disbelief.
I've got him trapped now.
"Oh geez, is that what this is about?" He sighed quietly.
I suddenly felt stupid. I realized how much this had been bothering me.
"Quit acting like I'm being ridiculous, Cameron!"
"You think I'm talking to Rachel?"
"Well, I don't know what you're doing."
"I haven't talked to Rachel. That's what I've been doing."
"Brody and Hunter said-"
"Brody and Hunter?" His voice rose slightly.
I immediately became defensive. "Yes!"
He stared at me, then shook his head.
"Dixie, they were joking."
"That wasn't funny, how was I supposed to know?"
"I know. I said the same thing."
"Why would they say that?"
"I don't know."
"You seemed pretty close to her."
"What are you saying Dixie?"
"You've been talking to her."
"No, I haven't. You've got it all wrong." He sighed, keeping his voice calm.
"Yes, you have!" I yell.
"No, Dixie." He stepped closer. "I have never made an attempt to talk to Rachel."
I looked away. "I don't believe you."
It was stupid of me to believe his friends over him, but I didn't know anything about Cameron's life. For all I know, they could be telling the truth.
His jaw tightened in frustration.
"Why don't you?"
I didn't answer.
"Why don't you believe me, Dix?"
"Because they told me."
"Brody and Hunter? They lied to you."
I looked back at him. "Why would they lie?"
"Because they're idiots."
Despite myself, I smiled slightly.
Cameron noticed. "I'm serious. They were messing with you."
"They also said you and Rachel would make a better couple." I muttered.
"That's not true at all.."
"I know that." I looked down.
"Do you?"
I went quiet. Cameron exhaled. "I am so sorry."
"What?" I blinked.
"I'm sorry you had to sit there and believe that. I hate that you were hurting over something that wasn't even real."
I looked down.
He continued. "Listen Dixie, I didn't know you were thinking about that when you mentioned Rachel."
"I know it's stupid." I breathed out.
Three stupid comments from Brody and Hunter had made me question whether my own husband still wanted me.
That was humiliating.
I still didn't like how they'd lied to my face.
"It's not," He shook his head. "I can understand why you'd think that after what they told you."
I immediately looked away, keeping quiet.
Cameron sighed. "If it makes you feel better, I'll stop talking to Brody and Hunter."
My heart dropped to my stomach. That wasn't what I wanted.
I didn't actually want Cameron to start rearranging his entire life to accommodate my insecurities.
I didn't want him to stop talking to people because I was scared- and I certainly didn't want to become someone Cameron had to walk on eggshells around.
I'd already watched what happened when neither of us could breathe around each other.
I didn't want to build another cage. That would be terrible.
My head snapped back towards him again.
"No, Cameron, no."
"I mean it. I can tell them not to talk to me ever again, okay?"
I was really sounding like an insecure brat. He shouldn't have to do that just because of what I felt.
"You're not cutting people out of your life because of me."
"I don't care."
"I do."
He looked at me. "I'd even stay away from Rachel. If that's what you need-"
"No..." I shook my head firmly. "I don't want that. That's controlling."
He tiled his head, stepping closer. "You're not controlling me."
"I would feel like I was."
"You're my wife." He said.
The word felt strange. Technically, I was 100% his wife.
Somewhere in the middle the argument, the divorce threat, my tote bag, and the reporters and everything we'd refused to say to each other, I'd stopped feeling like one.
I felt like a woman who just happened to have a husband. It was an awful feeling.
"I'm still trying to remember how to be that."
That silenced him. I looked down.
"Cameron, uh..listen, I don't want you changing your whole life because I'm insecure."
"I don't think you're insecure."
"Well, I am.
"I just need to think." I looked back up at him.
Cameron nodded.
"I don't want another conversation right now."
He nodded again. He just looked tired. And sad.
A sad old puppy.
"I'm sorry." I said, quietly.
He shook his head. "Don't have to apologize for needing time."
He took a small step backward.
"Just to clear everything up, I never wanted her. I wanted you, I still want you. I'm crazy about you, if you can't tell."
I didn't know what to say. Cameron gave me one last small smile, then he stepped away.
"I'll leave you alone."
I watched him walk toward the living room.
I just had to ruin everything good for myself, didn't I?
Seemed like my specialty at the moment.