ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟝𝟝 #3
"I don't know."
"The chicken looks good too. What about the pasta?"
I looked at the description. "I like the pasta."
I looked back down at the menu.
"Pasta it is." He said.
A waiter came over a few minutes later. "Good evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?"
"Water?" Cameron looked at me.
"Water is fine." I inform him.
The waiter nodded and took our orders. Once he left, another silence settled between us.
Everything felt peaceful- which still made me more nervous.
Cameron leaned back.
"How have you been?" I ask him suddenly.
He leaned back in his chair. "Tired. I've been working a lot."
"Mhmm."
He looked down at the table. "It's been hard. Some days are better than others. I still keep looking at my phone every few minutes, hoping someone has a better update."
"Molly." I blurt out.
"Yeah." He nodded.
"How is she now?"
"We're still looking into everything. The police have been going through all the information they found when she came back."
"That must be exhausting."
"It is..but having her home helps."
"I'm really happy she's back." I smiled.
"Me too." He looked at me. "Very happy."
I could see the exhaustion in his eyes even beneath the smile.
"Gee Cameron..you look tired."
"I am."
"You should sleep more."
He laughed quietly. "That's rich coming from you. You stay up working."
"That's because I have responsibilities."
"So do I."
"..I guess thats fair."
We both smiled.
The waiter returned with our food. "Enjoy."
"Thank you," I said.
I picked up my fork.
Finally! Something I could focus on.
I took a bite of pasta. As a picky eater who would only eat certain types of bread as a child, this was actually really good.
"This a pretty good," I said.
"I told you."
"Okay, whatever." I laughed.
We ate for a while.
I thought about the firm- Ted specifically.
People who really want something sometimes have to show how badly they want it.
I frowned slightly. What had he actually meant? I couldn't figure it out.
I was probably overthinking it. He had probably wanted me to demonstrate that I was committed to the firm.
That had to be it. Right?
I glanced at Cameron. He was eating his honey chicken quietly.
I almost asked him. He'd know- or at least he'd tell me if I was being ridiculous.
I opened my mouth, but hesitated.
I really needed to stop being so selfish. Not everything was about me and my problems.
Tonight wasn't about Ted, it was supposed to be about us.
I took another bite.
I didn't need to bring another problem to the table. I swallowed the question along with my food, and pretended I hadn't been thinking about it at all.
Cameron suddenly laughed under his breath. "I can't believe it's been this long."
"How long? I can't remember." I glanced at him.
"9 years now."
My fingers tightened slightly around my fork. "Oh. Nine years since we got married."
I took another bite.
Cam grinned at me. "You sound thrilled."
"I am." I nod.
"You don't sound thrilled."
"I said I'm thrilled." I glanced up, covering my mouth to chew.
"You're really bitter with your words, you know that?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry. Let me try again."
I put my fork down and gave him an exaggerated smile. "Happy late anniversary, Cameron."
He laughed. "That's the spirit, Dixie."
He smiled, and I tried to smile back- but my heart was beating too fast.
It wasn't because of Cameron, but instead because I kept thinking over and over what Ted had meant. I couldn't understand why I was so unsettled.
Maybe I was making something out of nothing.
But if that was the case, why did I feel uncomfortable?
I quickly pushed the thoughts away.
Cameron noticed the hidden expression on my face. "Are you alright, Dixie?"
"Me? I'm okay."
He didn't look too convinced. I forced another smile.
"Seriously, all is good."
He nodded slowly. "Okay."
"Anyway, tell me something else." I picked up my fork again, trying to clear my mind.
"Like what?"
"I don't know." I sigh.
He smiled at my awkwardness. "You're really bad at small talk. You used to be better."
"I also used to have less going on."
His smile faded slightly. "Yeah."
Something about he way he said it made me regret saying that. I took another bite, even though I wasn't hungry anymore.
Cameron looked down at his plate. "I didn't want tonight to be awkward."
I looked at him.
"I know things are still..uh, complicated."
"Very." I told him.
"I just wanted us to have one night where we could sit together. And not argue."
"Sounds nice. I wasn't planning on arguing."
"That's amazing."
I gave him a dry look. "I'm capable of behaving."
"I know you are." He smiled.
I felt my palms becoming slightly damp. I discreetly wiped one against the side of my dress.
Thankfully, Cameron didn't notice. I'd spent too much of my life learning how to look composed when I wasn't.
It was sweet of Cameron to put up all this- why would I ruin it with my awful problems?
I smiled through it all, even if I didn't feel so smiley.
~