Chapter 20
“Pull off over there.” I pointed out the windshield to the scenic overlook that had the best view of the valley and the river. You couldn’t see anything beyond the blizzard, but I wasn’t ready to face the remains of my scorched dreams just yet.
Risky obediently pulled the truck off the road. His gaze was also locked on the flurries on the other side of the glass.
The warm interior of the truck was as silent as the snow falling. There was so much to say. It remained muted and still, as neither one of us could find the right words. I knew that Risky wanted to convince me to let him stay while I was hung up on trying to make him leave. Not because I feared him or struggled with all the valid moral reasons I shouldn’t care about him. I wanted him gone so that he wouldn’t be forced to bring back the man he had been before he retired. He firmly believed people could change. Maybe he was right. But I knew, down to my bones, my unfortunate luck was here indefinitely, and that meant he would never get his simple, boring life if he insisted on staying by my side.
“Don’t you think the fire was a sign that it’s time for you to move on?” I turned my whole body in his direction and stared at him until he turned his head to look at me. “There’s nothing keeping you here. You should find somewhere warm and tropical to enjoy your retirement. Or, if you insist on staying in the mountains, go to Europe. It’s so much cheaper to enjoy winter sports there than it is in the States. This can’t be the only place you have fond memories of.” I exhaled. “Being with me is hard, and you said you’re ready for an easy life.”
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, and I watched a muscle in his cheek twitch as he clenched his teeth.
He shook his head, and his voice was low and rough with anger when he asked, “What do you mean, nothing’s left? You’re here.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the way the gold in his eyes glinted like a weapon forced me to bite the words back.
“I didn’t run into a fire to save a fucking building, or because I had gotten the warm fuzzies from a nice older couple a few years back. I did it to save you .” His dark brows furrowed, and the tapping stopped as his fingers curled into a grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white again. “Being with you isn’t hard. Paying a debt you owe in blood is. You can be challenging, but I like that about you. And it doesn’t change how kind you are. You underestimate how much your goodness appeals to a man like me, Lucky. I don’t care if I have to grow you a field of four-leaf clovers or constantly wear a rabbit’s foot around my neck—I choose you. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you in one piece. Regardless of whether I have to fight against you and everyone else. Because I probably love you back.”
I could’ve stayed strong if he’d never uttered the L-word.
It wasn’t the first time someone had confessed their love to me. I usually viewed those words as a trap and a dead end. I knew I could never match that level of emotion or give so much of myself in return. When someone said they loved me, my first instinct was to call them a liar, and my second was to run away. Those feelings had only intensified after the way my relationship with Baker ended. He’d wielded his love like a weapon that he used to hurt and control me. I never wanted to get stuck in such an unhealthy cycle again.
The uncertainty and unease within Risky’s admission made the declaration less terrifying and more believable.
We were two people, unsure of our feelings and of each other. However, we could recognize that we were more than likely the best option for one another. He didn’t care that I was cursed with bad luck. And I didn’t mind that he was a retired bad guy. Well, I could learn not to let his past get to me so much. Right now, it still loomed like a dark cloud covering the sky.
Risky reached across the truck and held my face between his hands. One of his thumbs brushed over my lips, and his voice was barely above a whisper when he told me, “Don’t let anyone take what belongs to you, Lucky.”
It wasn’t clear if he was talking about the property or himself. Either way, as soon as I’d stepped into his truck, I’d subconsciously decided to hold on to both.
I grabbed one of his wrists and pulled his hand away from my face. I turned it over and placed a kiss on his palm. His hands had always been too soft and unblemished to belong to a handyman. I didn’t want to be the reason he got them dirty again.
I needed to do a better job of avoiding the trouble that came looking for me, and recognizing that when it found me, it wasn’t always my fault. I’d let my parents’ refrain—that I was a burden to everyone I encountered—define my worth for too long. I needed to love myself enough that I wouldn’t even notice the lack of theirs. And if they didn’t want me, there was a man right in front of me who did.
I pushed the center divider out of the way and let Risky pull me across the seat.
I straddled his lap, caught between his chest and the steering wheel. My elbow accidentally hit the horn, and the sound echoed through the desolate valley. Between the weather and the time of night, the pass was deserted. I once again felt like he and I were living inside a snow globe. It was our own private little world, where nothing could go wrong and every decision we made was perfect.
Like having sex in his brand-new truck in the middle of a blizzard.
We both wore a lot of layers to combat the cold, and stripping down wasn’t practical or convenient. Haphazardly losing items and unfastening zippers and buttons to get to the important parts didn’t hamper the heat building or the sexiness of the moment.
His breath ghosted across the sensitive skin on the side of my neck and behind my ear. I curled my fingers in his hair and grabbed a fistful of his flannel shirt for leverage. We’d had plenty of sex for the sake of pleasure. This was sex that hovered along the lines of punishment. He was angry that I’d left him and was frightened after he saved my life. I was mad at myself for not being strong enough to send him away for his own good. I was weak enough to hold him tighter and melt into him when his hands slid inside my clothes.
The interior of the truck was warm. Now that we’d been sitting still for so long, the snow started to pile up on the hood and along the edges of the windows. The glass was frosted over, and the metal around the doors was chilly when it accidentally came into contact with bare skin. None of that stopped us from shifting closer and moving hurriedly against one another.
Risky’s hand was cool when it slid along my rib cage and curled under one of my breasts. His fingers rolled over my puckered nipple, and the chill made my whole body shudder. He kissed his way along the line of my jaw and shifted his hips underneath me. I put a hand between our bodies and wrapped it around his rigid length. He also shivered and gave me a sultry look.
“Brrr … hurry and warm your hand up.”
I snorted at the less-than-subtle hint, gliding my fingers up and down. His cock kicked within my loose hold, and the arrowed tip got slick. I circled the tip with my thumb and rubbed it across the damp slit. Risky’s breathing hitched.
He used his teeth to nibble on the soft skin behind my ear and whispered, “That’s better.”
Our movements were restricted due to the small space, which only made the way we touched and teased more deliberate and calculated. We were both out to get the most bang for our buck as quickly as possible, considering the weather outside.
His fingers pulled at the swollen tip of my breast more forcefully when I rubbed the sensitive V on the underside of the tip of his cock. He seemed to lengthen against my palm, and his body tensed against mine. I leaned forward to kiss him, our lips meeting and clinging together in a different way now that there were no secrets lurking between us. I’d never kissed someone I loved before. I had to say, it felt very different from kissing someone I didn’t.
There was a softness to it. A sweetness that was enough to make my teeth hurt. I’d never known I was the type of girl who would be swayed by a gentle touch and a tender caress, but I was seconds away from melting into a puddle on Risky’s lap.
His tongue flicked against the back of my teeth and twirled around mine. My hand tightened around his cock, and I lowered myself so I could drag the leaking tip through the wetness gathered between my legs. I was wearing a lot less clothing than he was, so the warmth of his body and the chill from being exposed were a stimulating clash of sensations. He moaned when just the tip of his erection entered my body. My pussy contracted around him and pulsed in time to the stroke of his fingers over my hardened nipples. Our rapid breathing fogged the windows up, making me feel like I was doing something I shouldn’t be. I wondered if he knew how tempting he was.
I felt like he was the Pied Piper, and only he knew the song that would lead me out of my lonely life.
I let my weight take me down so Risky was fully seated inside me. I arched my back, and he pushed my shirt out of the way so he could put his mouth on my aching breast. His tongue circled my nipple, leaving a wet bull’s-eye. When I started to move, he used the edge of his teeth and took the lightest bite possible. The little sting that followed made me moan. There was no riding him like a rodeo queen in the confined space, which made the slow grind up and down torturous and agonizing.
When I shivered, he allowed my clothing to fall back in place as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. His hands went to my backside as he silently urged me to move faster. I wrapped a hand around the back of his head and threaded his thick, dark hair through my fingers. I held on to him like I was afraid he might vanish, and he clung to me in a similar manner.
The mutual fear and dependence spurred me on to quicken my pace and wiggle my hips in a way I’d never been bold enough or turned on enough to attempt before. There was no going through the motions with Declan Risk. He demanded my full attention and participation in every aspect of our relationship. He kept me fully engaged and on my toes. I guessed he was challenging as well. And just like him, I loved that.
It made me feel like we were equals—neither too much nor too little. We were just right for each other.
The rough fabric of his jeans rubbed against my skin, and his hands clutched my ass when he lifted his hips the slightest bit to meet my frantic movements. He growled my name, frustration and desire dueling for space in his tone.
I gasped and did my best to accommodate his blatant hunger.
I rocked forward and back and blindly obeyed him when he demanded, “I want you to touch yourself.”
My elbow hit the horn again. This time, the sharp sound barely registered. I skated my chilled fingers over my lower stomach, dipped them through my wet folds, and brushed the point where we were joined. I let my knuckles rub over the veiny surface of his dick as it moved within me. He was soaked with my excitement, and I belatedly realized we were fucking in his truck, in a blizzard, on the side of a dangerous mountain pass, without protection. Any of those decisions were highly questionable; all of them combined—well, it was a good thing we’d decided to be together because we were disastrous and would ruin anyone else with our carelessness and lack of self-preservation.
When my touch found my clit, hidden within the slippery folds, I stiffened and moaned Risky’s name. He gave a grunt of approval and used his hold on me to manipulate my body to match the pace he wanted. I was worried I might smack my head on the roof of the truck, but his keen senses kept up a steady rhythm, which caused him to pant and prevented me from moving too far away from him.
I stroked my clit, alternating rubbing it and trapping it between two fingers while giving it a light squeeze. Intense pleasure made my vision turn white and had my ears ringing with the rush of blood. Every nerve felt alive, and everywhere we touched was hypersensitive. I wanted to crawl out of my skin or drag Risky inside of it with me. My pulse pounded, and I swore my heartbeat synced in time to the throb of the heavy erection buried deep within me.
Risky came before me. My name hung on his lips until I kissed it away.
I kept touching myself and jolted when he replaced his softening cock with his thick fingers. I was close enough to completion that I didn’t care what he used to finish me off. The noises I made were desperate and pleading, and the sounds that filled the cab of the truck would’ve made me embarrassed if I had been aware enough to hear them. I’d never considered myself as someone who was wanton or unrestrained. I’d learned to keep my carnal impulses in check because it was the one aspect of my life where I had complete control. There was less chance for things to go wrong and less opportunity for me to hurt someone, or get hurt, if I kept my needs on ice.
With Risky, I’d never been able to do that.
He was too hot to keep my cool around him.
My orgasm blazed through me, warming any naked part that had succumbed to the outside temperature. I put my hand on the window and watched as it cleared away the fog. The mist melted away, and so did the last of my determination to keep this man safe from me. He’d walked through literal fire for me. The least I could do was face the flames for him.
I slumped in a satisfied pile on top of him and used my teeth to mark the side of his neck. His facial hair tickled my nose. I felt him chuckle as he pulled me closer in an effort to keep me warm. I wondered if in the daylight he was going to regret this when he noticed the mess we’d made on his leather seats.
I wiggled away from him, gratefully taking a handful of tissues out of the glove box to clean myself up. The logistics after the heat of the moment could really kill the mood.
He watched me struggle back into my clothes and asked, “Are you ready to go home? If you don’t think you’re ready to handle being there yet, we can go somewhere else until you are.”
“There’s nowhere else to go.” I sighed and turned to lean my forehead against the clouded window. “I called Banner out on her bullshit. She had done it for her husband. She thought she could force me to sell to one of his clients and he would make partner. The crazy thing is, I don’t think he even cheated on her. I’d looked at hotels before I started walking up the pass. There’s nothing available this time of year.”
He scoffed. “I can make something available. Just say the word.”
I laughed. “Maybe you should forget about those famous favors if you really want to start over and live a normal life.”
He was quiet for a minute before muttering, “You’re probably right.”
“We can go home. Avoiding the lodge isn’t going to unburn it. I’m going to have to clean everything up if I want to build something new. Might as well get a head start and show everyone I’m not going anywhere.”
He pushed open the door and climbed out of the cab to brush the gathered snow off the headlights. When he came back, his hair was dusted with snow, and his cheeks were rosy red.
“I want you to know that if you decide to sell the land, I’ll buy it from you. Even if you never step foot on that property again, I won’t let you lose it. Your grandparents wanted you to have it, and I don’t think they would have cared if you used it as a resort, built your dream house, or let the mountain take it back. As long as it’s yours , they’d have been happy, and their final wishes would be fulfilled.”
I smiled at him and said, “Someone else told me that they’d always wanted me to make it mine and I’d just misinterpreted their hopes for me. I thought I was happy, making them happy all these years, but I might have missed the mark.”
He grunted his agreement. “That someone sounds smart.”
She was smart because she’d saved this man and seen his potential from the start.
I guessed she and I had that in common.