Chapter 14
Jury sat alone in the mess hall of the Allegiance Compound.
Chin resting on one upraised hand, the other dragged a limp French fry through a dollop of ranch on the still full plate in front of her.
Her appetite had been practically non-existent since she’d arrived at the compound.
She’d been existing almost solely on coffee and an occasional banana, which pissed off her wolf.
Now, though, even coffee and bananas weren’t appealing.
Dove-gray eyes darting around the hall, she noted that when her eyes met those of any of the men scattered at the other tables, they immediately looked away.
They were treating her like a pariah, which didn’t make sense.
When she’d first been released from the cell, the shifters had been courteous and friendly, but something had changed.
Annoyed, she refocused on her food.
“Jury.”
She was startled when Koe slid onto the bench beside her, setting a plate of food in front of himself. Looking at him, Jury’s heart started hammering hard. She hadn’t seen him since the day before, when he’d nearly marked her in the medical unit.
Koe heaved a weighty sigh and took up his fork with a casual, “How are you doing?”
Terrible. “Fine.”
Koe had been lifting a fork-filled bite of food to his mouth when he stilled mid-bite. Hand slowly lowering, he turned his head just as slowly to frown at her. “I’m pretty sure I warned you against lying to me.”
Blinking rapidly, she thought back on her initial arrival in Allegiance territory.
Koe had thought she was a spy from the Biter pack and had threatened her within an inch of her life if she didn’t provide the absolute truth.
Swallowing hard, she amended, “I’m not fine.
No one here will talk to me or even look at me.
” More quietly, she hissed, “I don’t appreciate you telling everyone what happened to me. ”
Turning, Koe pulled one leg out from beneath the table and faced Jury, bracketing her with one leg behind her and one locked up against her knees. He leaned forward and whispered, “I said nothing of what was done to you.”
Jury cast him a sidelong glance, trying to gauge his sincerity.
“I’m not that kind of Alpha, Jury.” His face darkened with anger. “And I’m offended you’d think otherwise.”
Ducking her head, she let her tense shoulders fall defeatedly.
“I don’t,” she breathed. After a few beats of silence, she lifted her head and looked straight at him before speaking truthfully.
“I don’t think you're that kind of Alpha. It’s just…
” She glanced at the shifters seated at the tables around them and lowered her voice.
“They’re treating me differently. I know I’m from an enemy pack, but I was never a Biter. Not really.”
Koe’s gaze softened as he ducked his head almost guiltily.
“And that didn’t seem to bother anyone when you first let me out of the cell and Daemon was showing me around,” she continued.
“They weren’t this indifferent before. Something’s changed.
I feel like they’ve heard something bad about me.
It’s embarrassing and demeaning. And I can’t defend myself against it because I don’t know what it is. ”
In a hushed tone, Koe hissed, “Shhhhit!” before lifting his head and staring at Jury apologetically. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”
Brows knitting in confusion, she stared at him, waiting for an explanation.
Heaving a reluctant sigh, Koe rocked back a moment, glancing around quickly before returning his attention to Jury. “I told them you’re off limits.”
“Wh-what? Why? Why would you do that?” Her face darkened in anger as she answered for him, “Because you still don’t trust me! And you don’t want them to either.” Shoving up, she was in the motion of pushing away from the table when Koe gripped her arm.
With a low snarl, he commanded, “Sit down.”
Back snapping straight with the weighty authority that lashed her, Jury’s eyes flooded with angry tears as she was forced to reclaim her seat.
***
As soon as Jury sat, Koe released her and flexed his hand. He hadn’t meant to grab her the way he had. It just happened. Now, trying to calm himself, he was pissed at how easily she’d snapped his control. It wasn’t like him. He was the Alpha, for Christ’s sake!
Foregoing the apology that was pressing against the inside of his lips, he shoved his plate away angrily and offered Jury a half-truth.
“I don’t want anyone scaring you.”
Turning her head to glare at him, Jury bit out, “You didn’t care before.”
Leaning in, Koe went almost nose-to-nose with her as he hissed, “I didn’t know the extent of your torment at Bragga’s hands!”
Face blanking, Jury jerked back and scanned the now quiet mess hall.
Koe could tell she was trying to gauge whether or not the others had heard his words, and it pissed him off.
Because once again, she’d snapped his iron-clad control, and he’d made another foolish mistake.
With a throaty growl, he locked his eyes on Jury and thundered, “Leave. Now!”
Blinking in confusion, Jury planted her hands on the table like she would get up again, forcing Koe to snap, “Not you, Jury.” He jerked his chin toward the quickly emptying room. “Them.”
In a flash, they were alone. A sigh exploded from Koe as he steepled his fingers and pressed them into his lips.
He held like that for a minute before dropping his hands and shaking his head.
“God, woman, you have this amazing ability to snap my self-control.” He was agitated at how easily she affected him.
But he could scent her emotions intensifying, too.
She was angry again and hurt. Why did they affect each other this way?
“I just told you that they’re treating me differently, and then you kick them all out because of me! You’re not helping matters, Koe!”
Honestly, he didn’t care what his pack thought about being bossed around where Jury was concerned. But obviously, being accepted was important to her.
“I’ll take care of it,” he snapped.
“No!” she countered. “Don’t do me any more favors,” she chided sarcastically. “You’ve done enough.”
Indignant now, he reached out and caught Jury’s arm as she made to stand again. “Hey! A little gratitude would be nice. I didn’t have to take you in, Jury. I could’ve left you out there,” he jerked his chin toward the window. “You could still be out there all alone.”
Leaning down, she went nose-to-nose with him and hissed, “I didn’t ask you to take me in! If you remember, I specifically asked you to let me take my chances out there…alone.”
Her words were strong, but there was a shimmer in her eyes and a slight tremble in her lip that had him feeling like shit. He’d dragged her to his compound and was now throwing her being here in her face.
Shooting up from his seat, he released her and buried the same hand in his hair as he barked, “Fuck!” Stepping away from the table, he paced a moment before stopping to face her.
“I’m saying shit wrong. I’m doing shit wrong.
I’m…I’m trying to make you feel welcome here by keeping the pack away from you, but I see now that I’m just alienating you.
” As if to himself, he muttered, “That can’t feel welcoming.
” Eyes lifting back to hers, he continued, “I brought you here because I wasn’t sure about you, and now I’m keeping you here because I am sure and I want to protect you, Jury.
That’s all I’m trying to do. Even before finding out what Bragga did to you, I just wanted to give you a place to rest. A place where you could stop running.
And learning about what he did has only intensified that desire.
It turned something that I wanted to do into something I need to do, and I can’t explain it.
I can’t explain it to you, and I can’t explain it to the pack because I can’t even explain it to myself.
” Stalling, he drew in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, eyes going soft, he continued, “Someone hurt you, Jury. A male. And not just any male, but a shifter male. An Alpha!” He shook his head, “I can’t wrap my mind around it.
There’s just no fucking excuse.” His eyes tracked down her body, “You’re so damn small.
You’re delicate in the most feminine of ways.
In ways that make my wolf ache to act. Growing up in the pack that I did, violence against females was unheard of, just as it is in my pack now.
Knowing that there are shifters out there willing to do to women what Bragga and his Biters did to you has put my wolf on edge.
I’m second-guessing every male in your proximity, Jury, including my own wolves.
And you get that fucks me up, right?” He gestured toward the door that the males had filed out of only moments before.
“I don’t trust my own wolves with you, and it’s fucking with my head because I absolutely fucking trust them with my life…
but not with yours. These are males that I’ve lived with for decades or longer, some I’ve known my whole life. And I don’t want them around you.”
He watched her expression blank, her lips parting. “I’m…I’m sorry,” she breathed.
“No!” He grabbed her hands and hunched a little to reach her eye level, forcing her to look at him.
“I don’t want you to be sorry, Jury. That’s not why I’m telling you this.
You have nothing to be sorry for.” He squeezed her small hands.
“I’m telling you this so you can see things from my perspective.
I’m not trying to alienate you from my pack.
I’m trying to protect you from them. And yeah, I know them well enough to know that you don’t need to be protected from them because they’re good males who’d die before ever hurting a female, but I can’t turn it off.
Not after what I saw on your body.” He pinched his eyes shut and shook his head, pulling Jury into his chest as he breathed almost raggedly.
“What Bragga did to you…” Slowly, he opened his eyes, and when he did, his pupils were blown out, his wolf just beneath the surface.
“I can’t stop seeing it. Every time I close my eyes, I see your scars, and then I wonder about the pain you must have endured, and then I can’t fucking breathe.
” He snarled, “I’m enraged at what was done, and my wolf…
” He stalled to catch his breath. “My wolf wants to hunt. No,” he curled his lip back, “he needs to hunt. And I’m doing everything I can to hold him back until.
..” He didn’t finish the statement. “But my wolf is tearing up my insides in a need to avenge what was done to you. So, please,” he breathed.
“Please give me some time and give my wolf what he needs.” He flicked a glance around the cafeteria.
“I know it feels like alienation or isolation, but I can’t have the guys talking to you or hovering around. I just…can’t.”
Jury jerked her chin down in a nod. His request felt unfair, but how could she say no? He’d taken her in and was protecting her; the least she could do was give him what he needed. It’s not like she’d ever felt included in the Biter’s pack. Why should here be any different?