10. Chapter 10
The following Tuesday is my first lab day, and I’m both excited and petrified.
I love labs. I love being able to work on problems hands-on. It’s so satisfying to see the equations from class translate into physical experiments.
But this is O-Chem lab, which means Sam will be here. And as much as I like our lab professor, Dr. Hinkle, he always gives assigned seats, and he does it alphabetically by last name. So, unless there are the right amount of people with last names that come before mine, I’ll be sitting at a table with Sam. Possibly sitting next to him.
When I arrive at the lab room, students have already gathered in the hall. The door must be locked, and Dr. Hinkle must be late.
Great.
Slumping against the wall, I pull my phone from my pocket like everyone else has done. I get through three rounds of Wordle before I get stuck on a word. Three letters down, two to go. The letters I have remaining make absolutely no sense. A “U”, but no “Q”. No “S” or “T”, but an “L”? This is impossible.
“Try ‘awful,’” Sam’s deep voice rumbles next to my ear.
With a flinch, I whip my head up. I don’t know how I didn’t notice him, nor do I understand why he’s even talking to me. Our previous interactions haven’t exactly been friendly. Giving him the side-eye, I scoot a few feet away.
“Sorry,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t sneak up on people.”
His lips tick up as his gaze drifts back to my phone. “Was I right, though?”
Reluctantly, I type in his suggestion, and unfortunately, he’s correct. “I would’ve gotten it eventually.”
“That’s a really strange way to say, ‘thank you.’”
I sneer and turn my back to him.
“Is that what the A in your initials stands for? Awful?”
An offended gasp escapes me as I turn to stare at him with my mouth agape. “Excuse me?”
He shrugs. “It would make sense.”
I don’t say anything. I just stand here glaring, wishing fiery laser beams would shoot from my eyes and melt him.
With a deep swallow he takes a hand from his pocket and adjusts his glasses. “Maybe it’s for AWOL since you disappeared so fast last Thursday. Didn’t want to stay to congratulate me on my victory?”
I ball my fist and take a step forward, ready to give him a what-for, when Dr. Hinkle strides up.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says as he fishes his keys from his pocket and unlocks the lab door.
Hiking my backpack higher on my shoulder, I file into the room with everyone else. Dr. Hinkle asks us to wait a minute before sitting so he can find his chart. I make sure to wait on the opposite side of the group from Sam.
Dr. Hinkle walks from table to table, pointing to spots and calling out names. At the second table, he says, “Dawson, Eastman, Erlenmeyer, Fredricks.”
My shoulders slump with defeat as I shuffle to my chair. As much as I saw this coming, it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow. The bright side is, I’m not sitting next to him, which means we won’t be partners and will only have to work together when we have a table project.
It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it.
When Dr. Hinkle has everyone in their spots, he begins the tedious process of explaining how labs work. He goes over the agenda, the syllabus, the structure, the safety rules, and all the stuff around and in between. After that rip-roaring good time, he instructs us to use the last fifteen minutes to introduce ourselves to our group.
I take the initiative and go first. The spunky redhead across from me, Maya, goes next. She’s much too bubbly for my taste, but I smile and nod at her excitement.
When Sam’s turn comes, Maya gives him rapt attention. I don’t even know if she registers anyone else in the room. She certainly doesn’t pay much notice when our fourth tablemate, Micah, introduces himself.
I don’t know why, but it bugs me. It shouldn’t. I have no claim to Sam, nor do I want any. I should be happy that she’s drawing his attention away from me. In fact, I should be thanking her for keeping him occupied so he can’t pester me anymore. But instead, I find this weird jealousy creeping up my spine. I shake it off.
Sam flicks his gaze to me. “Cold, Brynn? Didn’t think the a/c was that bad in here.”
The familiarity in his tone makes my muscles tense, but the pompous smirk on his face is what boils my blood.
Dr. Hinkle saves me from making a scene by dismissing us. I all but rush out of the room, down the hall, and out the door. Frustrated tears begin to sting, but I refuse to let them out. Sam doesn’t deserve any more of mine.
This whole ignoring him plan might not work after all.
Once I exit the building, my chest loosens. With the sun shining brightly and the fresh air flooding my lungs, I can work on letting go of my frustrations with Sam.
I have to stop allowing him to get under my skin. We’re going to see each other every week, twice a week, for the whole year. I have to accept that he’s a jerk. He’s not the person I thought he was, and the sooner I come to terms with that, the better.
If Connor’s abandonment taught me anything, it’s that.
As my anger and frustration ebb, my annoyance with myself doesn’t. Partly, because of my reactions to Sam, but also because of my next class, hiking.
I’m an idiot for waiting three years to complete my physical education requirement. At least it’s hiking, one of my favorite things to do. Though, after our first class last week when all we did was go over the syllabus, I’m not exactly sure how Professor Duncan is going to fill an entire semester.
I could use a throw-away class, though.
My course load isn’t hefty this semester by any means, but it would be nice to have one class I don’t have to think too much about. This could be it. I already know how to prepare for a hike and what to do in case of emergencies. I even know first aid. Plus, most of our grade comes from the mid-term, final exam, and the two hikes we have to do.
Sounds like a walk in the park. Or a downhill hike.
Smiling at my cleverness, I take my seat and slouch down, allowing my tense muscles to relax. I’m already feeling better, and for the next sixty minutes, I can focus on something outside of my own personal drama.
Professor Duncan walks in, his long ponytail swinging behind his head. His untucked brown and orange flannel barely covers his Grateful Dead t-shirt as he takes a seat at the desk. As he scans the room, his head bobs. “Hey, cool,” he says in his laid-back tone. “I’m glad nobody checked out of class from last week. That’s a good sign.”
A few students chuckle, myself included.
“I know you all had a lot of questions about the hikes, like scheduling and stuff.” He pulls a paper from his satchel and holds it up. “I made a list of dates for the class hike, which I’ll post on the board so you can sign up for one after class.” He lays the paper on the desk. “But I do want to talk more in depth about the hike you have to facilitate.”
I perk up for this information, sitting straighter in my seat. My mind is already lit up with ideas for trails, most of which Lisa and I have hiked already. I’ll take her with me, and this will be a breeze.
“You will not be picking your own partners.”
What? Well, crap. I slouch again.
Professor Duncan takes a seat on the top of his desk. “A lot of students want to pick a friend, roommate, or relative who they know will grade them highly, no matter what happens. That’s sort of like cheating, dudes. So, to circumvent that problem, I offer extra credit in my other, non-hiking classes to anyone who volunteers to be a hiking partner. That way, your grades are more organic.”
Confused mumbles fill the air as Professor Duncan continues. “Your homework this week will be to figure out the days you are available and to start thinking about what trail you want to hike. If you don’t have a favorite trail, might I suggest good old Google.
“Once I have your availabilities, I’ll pair you up with a volunteer and give you their email address so you can get the ball rolling. So, don’t wait too long. The weather can get real nasty, real quick in the fall.” He gets up from the desk, grabs a dry-erase marker, and steps to the whiteboard. “Now, let’s get started on our topic for today, hiking preparedness.
As the professor talks and writes, I can’t help the excitement bubbling in my gut. I love hiking, and I love a challenge. Sure, I’m disappointed I can’t take Lisa, Jackie, or Hannah, but this will be a good exercise to prove myself.
I just hope whoever I get paired with isn’t a stick in the mud.
Over the next few weeks, I lean into the wind, so to speak. Instead of going on like Sam doesn’t exist, which was never going to be successful, I have learned to tune him out. When he tries to talk to me, I only acknowledge him with a curt nod. If he gets too close to me, I simply walk away. It’s been working wonders.
The hardest part has been lab. He sits right across from me, so no matter what I do, he’s always in my line of sight. At least he hasn’t been wearing his glasses lately. I hate how sexy he looks with them on.
And Maya won’t stop gushing about how smart he is. Any time she’s stuck, she turns to him. It’s hard to ignore someone who’s always being brought up in conversation, even if that person soaks it up like it’s the last glass of water on Earth. I can hardly concentrate on my work with his swelling ego crowding the room.
I don’t have many options for these moments. Micah isn”t a great conversationalist, not that I have a reason to engage with him. I know what I”m doing and my answers are always correct. He prefers to keep to his own work anyway, so I usually start setting up for the next problem. I don’t ever look at Sam. It’s difficult not to, especially when he compliments my work, but I have to stay in control.
Prepping for my hike has helped keep me occupied. I turned in my available dates right away, and Professor Duncan matched me with a volunteer the following week. I emailed the person that day. Typing “imagine a radioactive dragon” into the address field made me feel a little silly, but it was nice to know I’d have something in common with this person.
It gave me hope that this hike would be enjoyable, but I sent that email a little over a week ago. I’ve heard nothing since. If I don’t hear anything by tomorrow, I’ll email the professor. I can’t be docked points if my partner bails, right?
In O-Chem lecture, Professor St. James goes over our exams from the prior week. Her tests are always through an online platform where it’s available Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, but we only get four hours from when we log in to complete it. A lot of students love this format because it allows them to use whatever resources they want, and the time frame is usually more than enough.
I know it was enough for me. I finished in under three hours, so I had plenty of time to double check my answers. Not that I needed a lot of double checking. I always make sure to hunker down and study every day as soon as a test is announced.
Dr. St. James begins class by handing out our results. “I have to say, I am sorely disappointed in your exams,” she says. “The passing percentage was the lowest I’ve ever seen.My stomach wrenches as she reaches my desk. She lays my result paper face-down before stepping to the next person. I lick my lips over and over, scared to even flip the page.
But I have to know.
Slowly, I peel the paper from the desk and flip it over. All the tension oozes from me as I stare at my ninety-seven percent circled several times. With a satisfied nod, I perk back up.
Professor St. James finishes handing out the results, and heads to the front of the room. “The majority of you are going to have to work very hard the rest of the semester to make up for it.” And that’s all she leaves us with.
When the lecture is over, and people start filing out, the professor catches me as I walk by her desk. “Brynn, may I have a word with you?”
“Yeah, absolutely.” I make sure to turn my body away from the door so I don’t chance seeing Sam.
“Just a second,” she says, and proceeds to sit quietly until everyone has left the room. “I want to ask you for a favor.”
My face lights up. A favor? From me? Professor St. James is my favorite teacher, so I’m inclined to do whatever she needs. “Sure, what is it?”
“Well, it has to do with the exam results. When I said the majority of the class would need to work hard, I really meant the whole class.” She grimaces sympathetically. “Aside from you and your ninety-seven percent, only two other people passed, and one of those was barely even a C-.”
“Oh.” My eyebrows shoot up. That is a horrible passing rate. “So, what do you need me for?”
“You tutor on the side, right?”
I nod.
“I was hoping maybe I could persuade you to host a weekly peer-led study group. I couldn’t compensate you monetarily, but it would be a good addition to your internship application.” She gives me a knowing look, and my answer is immediate.
“Yeah, sure. I should be able to work that into my schedule.”
A relieved breath blows past her lips. “That would be fantastic, thank you. You can use this room. I’ll have to check its availability, but I can email you a list of days and times it’s available, and you can let me know what works best for you.”
“Okay, that sounds good.”
“Thank you so much, Brynn. And your classmates will be thankful as well, I’m sure.”
I give a tight-lipped smile, trying not to explode with excitement as I stride out the door. I’m beaming right now. The pride filling my chest has me walking on cloud 9. Not only did I pass that exam with flying colors, but Professor St. James trusts my abilities so much, she’s allowing me to teach. This will certainly cement my spot on her internship team if it wasn’t cemented already.
The lightness in my feet turns to lead as Sam sidles up to me.
“Hey, Brynn, got a minute?”
Was he waiting for me? What could he possibly need? With an exasperated sigh, I ask, “What do you want, Sam?”
“I thought we could discuss our hike.”
My head whips up so fast, I get dizzy. “Our hike?”
“Yeah, I’m your volunteer.” A mischievous grin spreads across his face. “Sorry, I never responded to your email. I’ve been busy and I wanted to make sure I’d have my contacts for it. That fucking order took forever to get here.”
My head spins as I stare at him with narrowed eyes. This can’t be happening. “You? Me? Hike?”
“Uh, yeah. Brynn? Are you okay?”
I stop walking as I squeeze my eyes shut and turn away. “I’m fine.” The unluckiest person in the world, but fine.
“Well, should I meet you at the trailhead? Or are we going to ride together?”
The amusement in his voice makes me crinkle my nose. There’s no way I’m doing a two-hour car ride with him. “Meet me there,” I say curtly.
“Okay...” He draws out the syllables. “I’ll see you Saturday morning at nine.”
I wait until Sam is out of sight before sagging against the wall. This is so not fair. I’ve made great progress by ignoring him, and now, I have to spend an entire morning with the guy?
Ugh, this hike is going to suck.