16. Chapter 16
The next few weeks fly by. Between classes, homework, tutoring sessions, and the study group, my time is completely eaten up. I barely hang out with my friends, and Lisa has been voicing her opinion on that fact almost daily.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I ready my backpack for lab day. “This semester’s kicking my ass.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Lisa waves me off. “I know you’re busy. I just want a girls’ night once in a while. Is that too much to ask?”
Guilt weighs me down. “No, it’s not, but I don’t know when that’ll be. After classes and study group this week, I’ll be hunkered down all weekend since midterms are next week.”
“You’re racking up quite a tab, you know?”
“I know, I know. Tell you what. You pick any day after next Friday, and I’ll scrap whatever plans I have to do a girls’ night.”
Lisa sits straight up on the couch. “Really?”
“Really. I owe you some friend time.” The truth is, I could use some, too.
“The following Saturday night, then.”
I jerk my head back. “That was fast.”
“It’s Halloween weekend.” A sly grin spreads across her face as she nods. “You’re coming out with us and I’m picking our costumes.” When I start to protest, Lisa jumps from the couch to clamp her hand over my mouth. “Uh uh. You haven’t gone out for Halloween in years. I’m pulling my card. No excuses, Brynn.”
My whole body slumps with defeat. “Fine,” I say, the words muffled under Lisa’s hand. “Don’t make us into a bunch of sluts, please.”
Lab is fairly uneventful. With midterms coming up, Dr. Hinkle only gives us individual assignments for the day, and when we’re finished, we’re supposed to study. I appreciate the extra time to brush up on my O-Chem. Besides, it helps keep Sam out of my hair.
Hiking class doesn’t do much to combat my boring Tuesday. When I walk in, I see Professor Duncan at his desk reading, and the words “Study Day” written on the white board. As if I didn’t just do a mini-cram session in O-Chem lab, now I’m going to be studying for my hiking midterm, too? And what exactly do I need to study? This is hiking, for crying out loud.
With a groan, I slouch in my chair.
Professor Duncan closes his book before grabbing some papers. “As you can see, I’m giving you a study day to prepare for midterms next week. You can either do this alone, or in a group. It’s up to you.”
I fight the urge to groan. I’ll be studying alone, thank you.
He rounds the desk, flopping the papers in his hand. “But before we get into that, I’ve got some of your individual hike reports to pass out.”
This information perks me up. I’ve been nervously awaiting my report for weeks. I can’t say I’ve been looking forward to it, since I know Sam most likely gave me a C or lower, but I have to know. I need to prepare myself for how much of a hit my GPA is going to take. How hard am I going to have to work to bring it back up? Will acing the midterm be enough, or will I have to plow through a bunch of extra credit? I will not let hiking class be the end of my straight-A’s.
My stomach knots itself as Professor Duncan moves toward me. He says nothing as he sets a packet, face down, on my desk.
I deflate. This can’t be good.
I inhale deeply to bolster myself before flipping the packet over. As soon as I do, I’m smacked in the face by the letter A written on the top line next to my name.
An A? Sam gave me an A?
I have to know exactly what he said, so I scour the rubric for his comments. Each one I read has me melting with appreciation.
Hiking guide was late, but made light of her situation and proceeded with professionalism.
That’s a nice way to say I was grumpy, but I’ll take it. I move on to the next ones.
Hiking guide was knowledgeable of the trail, plant and animal life, and made me feel like I was in expert hands.
Hiking guide listened to my concerns, letting me take breaks as needed.
So far, Sam seems to have put me in a kinder light than I would have put myself. There’s one big issue he hasn’t mentioned. The fact that I rushed him and made him sick. I swallow down my nerves and continue reading.
When I developed altitude sickness, hiking guide was well prepared with ways to combat my symptoms. She made sure I ate and stayed hydrated, gave me plenty of time to rest, and even cut the hike short in order for me to get home to recuperate.
She took full responsibility for the occurrence, but it is my own fault for not listening to my body. Hiking guide put concern for my health and safety above her grade and shouldn’t be docked points for not being able to complete the hike.
I almost want to cry. All of these notes put a positive spin on all the ways I failed. Not one mentions anything about me being short with him, or rushing him, or being difficult to work with. Sam has only good things to say.
The smile that breaks across my face is irrefutable. I can’t help it. This is better than I expected from him, and I certainly need to say thank you.
I pull out my phone, ready to send a text, but I stop. This is something that needs to be done in person. I’ll thank him on Thursday.
Unfortunately, Sam is late to O-Chem on Thursday, so I don’t get a chance to thank him beforehand. Then, he leaves with Maya, and there’s no way I’m getting close enough to speak to him with her around. I’m forced to wait one more day.
The following night, when I arrive at study group, Sam’s already waiting for me. “Hey. You’re here early,” I say, confusion lacing my words since he always comes in after me.
“Just wanted to see your face.”
I crinkle my nose at the affectionate tone of his words, even if they do warm my chest. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, uh...” He clears his throat. “I mean, the face you’re making. I wanted to see your confused face.”
“Okay,” I say, increasing the pitch of the second syllable. “Have you set up yet?”
He shakes his head. “I’m making you do it.”
“What?”
“The last three group nights you’ve watched me plug everything in, watched me connect to the wi-fi and all that.” His stupidly adorable grin takes over his face. “It’s time for you to put your knowledge to the test.”
I groan. “Fine.” Standing here, I wait for him to move. “Where is everything?”
With a flick of his wrist, he points at his backpack, but says nothing as he leans back in the chair, folding his arms.
An exasperated sigh escapes me. These are the only times I doubt myself. Well, this and on any date after Connor left, but that doesn’t have any bearing on right now.
I pull Sam’s laptop and all the cables from his backpack, laying everything out on the desk. I organize them by order of operation and set to work. Right off the bat, I struggle to get the first cable into the computer port. After a few seconds, when it becomes obvious I don’t know what I’m doing, Sam gets up.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve tried every port on this stupid thing, and it doesn’t fit.” The unflattering whine in my voice grates at my nerves, but I can’t help it. I’m frustrated and it’s been less than a minute.
“That’s because you’ve got it backward,” Sam says quietly as he slides the cable from my fingers. He flips it around. “Try this end.”
Embarrassment floods me. Why didn’t I think of that? Stupid Brynn.
As I sheepishly take the cable from him and plug it in, I struggle to find the right words to thank him for my hiking report. A simple “thank you” doesn’t seem like enough. “So, uh, I got my hiking report back the other day.” I glance over to see him sitting stock still, like a deer in headlights. “And I need to say thanks.”
He swallows and clears his throat. “You’re welcome.”
I refocus on my task, running the cable down to the projector hub. “Can I ask why, though?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you give me such a stellar report? I was late, I rushed you, which gave you altitude sickness, and I wasn’t exactly pleasant.” After plugging in the last cord, I finally look at him. “Why did you praise me?”
His expression is that of disbelief. “Really, Brynn? What would have been the point of me rating you low? I’m not competing with you for a hiking internship.”
“Oh, yeah.” I don’t know why, but his words stab me. “Well, thanks either way.”
I finish setting up the computer, open the application, and to my utter surprise, everything links up. The presentation pops up on the screen, and I forget about my disappointment.
“Hey! It worked! I did it!” The look on my face is probably that of a kid who won a goldfish at the fair, but it doesn’t matter. I’m proud of myself.
“I knew you weren’t helpless,” Sam says, holding his hand up for a high-five.
I slap his palm, but Sam wraps his fingers around my hand. I think it’s meant to be a way to show me how proud he is, but the instant his warm hand winds tight around my own, the air in the room changes. Fire builds between our palms. It radiates down my arm and into my chest, making my heart pound.
An image of him yanking me to him and pressing his lips to mine flashes before my eyes, but I shake it away. I wriggle my hand from his, wiping it on my jeans. “Thanks for your help.” My voice quakes.
Sam’s mouth presses into a tight line as he nods.
Thankfully, before things can get any more awkward, the door opens and our fellow classmates file in. The mood returns to normal. Sam and I move forward with our presentation, neither of us acknowledging our weird moment.
Since it’s the last study group before midterms, we’ve opted to extend it to two hours instead of one. While it is a successful session, and everyone is very appreciative of our help, I’m exhausted by the end.
Sam has me undo everything, too. He says I not only need to know how to set up, but how to tear down as well. It’s much easier than before. The biggest thing I have to remember is to save the work before shutting down the application. From there, it’s just turning off the computer and projector before removing the cables. Easy peasy.
“Good work, tonight,” Sam says.
“You, too.” I don’t look at him. I can’t. The burn of his touch is still seared into my palm.
“I’m proud of you, you know.”
This makes me whip my head up. Him? Proud of me? Maybe he misspoke. Maybe he’s proud of himself for being able to teach a technological disaster such as myself how to use a computer.
But as I stare at him, he leans in ever-so slightly. With bated breath, I stand here, completely frozen as I anticipate the feeling of his lips on mine. I know I’m supposed to hate the guy, but I remember his kiss. It’s amazing.
Is it so wrong that I want to experience it again?
It must be because before we get too close, the classroom door bangs against the wall as the cleaning lady drags her cart inside. I jump away from Sam and watch him reach over to grab his laptop.
Is that all he was doing? I stood here, my heart about ready to burst, and all he wanted was his computer? I’m the biggest idiot in the world.
“Ready to go?” he asks.
With a nod, I blink away the stinging tears of embarrassment and rein myself in for the walk down the hall. Usually, we spend this time picking apart our presentation. We talk about what we could do better, or what worked. This time, I don’t feel like talking. My throat is so thick, I don’t know if I even could.
“That went pretty well,” Sam says proudly.
“Mhm.”
“I think everyone enjoyed the format.”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Maybe we can do this one again, but tweak it so it’s not exactly the same.”
I only nod.
“Feel free to jump in with ideas at any time.” His annoyance shines through in his tone.
Irritation bubbles in me as I glance at him, but pull my attention back to the floor. “Sorry. I’m tired.”
“I know that was a long session, but you could at least feign interest.” He huffs.
Right before we reach the exit doors, I stop walking and turn my frown on him. “Interest? I’m sorry, who’s the one supplying all the questions and answers? Oh, right, that would be me.”
Sam folds his arms. “And who has been putting all those questions and answers into engaging presentations? Not to mention, teaching a certain stubborn someone how to create said presentations?” His eyebrows arch in challenge.
“What do you want? A thank you?”
“No, you’ve already said that, but it would be nice if you’d contribute to the conversation. Some sort of feedback would be helpful.”
An offended laugh escapes me. “Okay, how’s this for feedback?” I lick my lips. “Your presentations are great, but they wouldn’t be shit without my knowledge on the subject.”
Sam’s mouth falls agape. “Oh, yeah? Well, if it weren’t for me, the entire class would still be failing due to your titillating lecture delivery.”
“Screw you,” I bite out, and spin to shove the exit door open. It isn’t until I get across the parking lot that I let my frustration out. “What a fucking prick!” I practically growl to myself.
How could he possibly think he’s doing so much more work than me? I’m the one scouring the textbook for adequate information. I’m the one forming that info into questions and answers to align with the units we’re covering. All he has to do is input it into the computer. He’s acting like he’s the golden child. Well, he’s sorely mistaken if he thinks I’m going to let him have this one.