Chapter 15
Fifteen
Patrick
The day had been long, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than Poppy and how she was doing with everything.
I had tried to give her space because I wasn’t sure what she needed, but when I saw her sitting on the couch with her knees pulled to her chest as she tried to hide her tears from me, I decided that was enough.
She was mine to take care of, and I was going to do just that.
“I got you,” I said softly as I sat beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t fight me as she leaned into my touch and cried harder. “Whatever you need, I’ve got you.”
I held Poppy while she cried, but I couldn’t deny that it changed something deep inside of me.
Helping Poppy was easy. She was my best friend’s cousin, which made her practically family.
But the more time I spent with her and the deeper I got involved with everything, the more I realized I was in way over my head.
We had only slept together once, so it wasn’t like we were dating.
I had no claim to her, even if I wanted to.
She was still married—or widowed if we were being technical.
Her body trembled against mine as she wept, but I didn’t ask any questions until she was ready. A few minutes later, she pulled away and wiped at her eyes with the sleeves of her hoodie before looking at me.
“I killed my husband,” she said, choking back a sob as a tear ran down her face. “I’m a murderer.”
“You’re not a murderer, Poppy,” I assured her, making sure she saw the truth in my eyes. “You protected yourself the only way you could. That’s different and no one can blame you for what you did.”
“I took a life, Pat. I killed him.”
“I know, baby. I know. But you were only protecting yourself.”
“What kind of terrible person am I that I could just take a life and then not think twice about it as I tried to get rid of his body? Who does that? Why didn’t I call the police and tell them what happened? I didn’t have to kill him—I could have—”
“You know what would have happened if you called the police. They would have come out and taken his side. You know they wouldn’t have gone against the sheriff. You did what you had to do, Poppy, and I will die on that hill.”
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better. Maybe I deserve to feel like this. Maybe this is my karma for what I did.”
“I will never try to tell you how to feel about anything because I think it’s important for you to feel what you need to feel.
But I will promise you that no matter what happens, I’ll be there.
There’s nothing you can do that will force me away, Poppy.
You’re not a bad person; you just got caught up with a bad man.
That’s all over now. You can take a deep breath and relax knowing that he can never hurt you again.
No one can, because I won’t allow it. You’re safe, and it’s okay to move forward and leave this behind you.
I’m not saying not to feel what you’re feeling, I’m just saying that I’m here to help you see the positive side of things. ”
“I don’t know what I did to deserve a friend like you,” she whispered, leaning in to hug me.
Even though we were technically friends, I couldn’t help but feel the pain of the dagger that pierced my heart when she said it.
****************
A few hours later, we were cooking dinner together in the kitchen while she hummed Christmas songs under her breath.
I hated that it was only a few weeks until Christmas, and I didn’t have a single decoration up.
She was stuck with me while trying to deal with everything with her husband, so the least I could do was make her stay here a little more festive.
I set the ladle down and jogged into the living room, laughing when Travis went with me. He didn’t stop and smacked right into the couch, leaving him a little dazed as he looked up at me with those sad puppy eyes.
“You have to be careful, buddy,” I said as I picked up the chewed-up TV remote and scratched the top of his head. “You’re not as big or tough as you think you are.”
He whined and laid down, showing me his belly.
“Not right now,” I told him, shaking my head. “I’ll give you tummy scratches later. Right now I have to make dinner.”
He continued laying there, not giving a damn what I had to say. I pulled up my music app and found a Christmas playlist, making sure it was loud enough for Poppy to hear. Her head perked up when she heard the song she had been humming start to play.
I set the remote out of Travis’s reach and went back to the kitchen, returning Poppy’s smile as I opened the oven and checked on the meatloaf.
It had been a long time since I’d made meatloaf, but I wanted to make a comforting meal for her tonight.
Even though we knew why she had killed Dale, it didn’t erase the feelings that had threatened to consume her that she had taken a life.
Just because she didn’t love him and needed to protect herself didn’t mean she was void of emotion.
I pulled the meatloaf out of the oven and set it on the trivet before stirring the gravy.
Poppy had insisted on mashing the potatoes, and I didn’t fight her on it when I saw how much force she was using.
She needed to burn off some energy, and I got it.
I wasn’t going to stand in the way of her giving those potatoes hell.
Once dinner was ready, I pulled two plates out and handed her one, waiting for her to serve herself.
“You go first,” she said, stepping away from the counter and clutching the plate against her chest.
I shook my head and frowned.
“I don’t think so. Ladies first,” I replied, extending my hand as I did some weird bowing motion that she giggled at.
“Please, Pat. Just get your food.”
I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly, not wanting to pick a fight with her.
I stepped in front of her and began scooping some of the meatloaf out of the pan and setting it on the plate. Then I added some mashed potatoes and started to pour gravy, but stopped.
“Are you one of those people who like gravy on your meatloaf, or am I just weird?” I asked, looking at her over my shoulder.
“No,” she replied with a laugh. “I like it too. It makes the meatloaf taste better if it’s soaked in gravy.”
I nodded my head and grinned as I drenched the meatloaf and mashed potatoes in gravy. Once it looked like a decent-sized serving, I spun around and extended the plate to Poppy.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a nervous laugh.
“Serving you.” I raised my eyebrows at the plate in my hand and nodded for her to take it.
“Patrick Ray Hughes! That’s cheating!” Her beautiful blue eyes lit up as she tried not to laugh.
“You just middle named me,” I replied, clutching a hand to my chest as if she had wounded me as she took the plate and passed me the one she had been holding.
“You deserve it. That was a sneaky move.”
“Well, I wanted you to go first, but you refused. So, I had to improvise.”
“I shall remember this and get you back,” she teased as she set her plate down on the kitchen table and pulled out the chair.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten at the table and not on the couch, but it seemed to be the thing Poppy and I did.
It was really nice to sit down and focus on the conversation we were having, instead of relying on the TV for company.
On rare occasions, my parents would come over, but most of the time, I would go to their condo.
Aside from my niece, Daisy, no one else visited that often.
I used to think I liked my solitude, but Poppy was making me question everything I thought I knew and wanted.
“Oh my God, this meatloaf is incredible,” Poppy said around a mouthful of food as she held her hand in front of her mouth and chewed.
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”
I lifted my fork and took a bite, nearly choking when Poppy closed her eyes and softly moaned as she chewed another bite.
Fuck. We hadn’t had sex since the first time the other day, but I had somehow managed to force the sounds out of my head in an effort to preserve my sanity as I tried to maintain a proper boundary with her.
Hearing it now had my dick straining against my jeans as I remembered just how good she sounded when she loved something.
I had done my best to stay away from Poppy so that my desire for her wouldn’t cloud my judgment when it came to keeping her safe, but this was pushing it.
I took a sip of water, hoping to wash down the food before Poppy realized my life was literally on the line because of her moaning.
When she opened her eyes and saw the look I was giving her, she blushed and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Sorry. I umm... I sometimes get a little vocal when I’m enjoying something.”
“I remember,” I said softly, letting the weight of my words sit between us as I clenched my fork tightly so I didn’t do anything stupid, like lunge across the table and devour her.
“You know Gage is stupid, right?” she asked, setting her fork down as she leveled me with a look.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because he is. While I love him dearly because he’s my cousin, I think he’s stupid if he thinks he can stop whatever this is between us from happening.”
“It’s not just Gage,” I said, exhaling heavily. “My focus needs to be on you and helping you through whatever happens with the whole Dale thing. I can’t do that if I’m constantly fucking you—because we both know that we would be going at it nonstop if given the opportunity.”
“I know.”
“Just because they found his body and you filed a police report doesn’t mean that you’re in the clear.
We still have to wait for the autopsy report.
If they find anything suspicious, you could still become their primary suspect.
Anything is possible, and I can’t risk getting distracted and letting something bad happen to you. ”
“I get that. I do. But hear me out,” she said softly.
“What about quickies? I mean, technically, there is no danger that we need to be worried about. Dale is dead, so it’s not like he can come back and try to kill me or get revenge.
We’ve already spoken with the police, and I've filed a report. I don’t see what else can go wrong.
Even if the autopsy shows foul play, they would have to be able to prove that I killed him and dragged him out of the house, into the garage, then loaded him into the car.
There’s a lot they would have to dig through, and I don’t know if it’s even possible to still detect it, but his blood alcohol level would have been incredibly high given the amount of whiskey he had that night.
Who’s to say he didn’t fall and hurt himself before driving drunk and crashing the car before ending up in the river? ”
She grinned so hard at me that it was almost impossible not to smile back at her.
“See, nothing to worry about,” she pressed as she took another bite.
“I don’t think that’s how any of this works,” I countered.
“The last thing I want is for law enforcement to show up here and arrest you because they think you killed him. Not only that, we still have to worry about the FBI and the account he has that now goes to you. There’s a lot at play here, Poppy.
We can’t afford to make mistakes because we’re horny. ”
“You take all of the fun out of this.” She pretended to glare at me as she lifted her fork and resumed eating.
“Believe me, this isn’t fun for me either. I would rather have you spread out on this table and eating your sweet pussy instead of this fucking meatloaf,” I groaned, stabbing at it with my fork.
“Too bad Travis isn’t a guard dog. He could buy us some time.”
“He’d probably lick them to death if anyone tried to come into the cabin.
He’s the worst guard dog I’ve ever seen.
We’ve put him with Gage’s dog, Duke, hoping that he could teach Travis a thing or two, but even Duke gets irritated with him.
” I laughed as I looked over at Travis, who was chewing on one of the wooden legs of the couch.
Fucking dog.
“Eh, it’s probably for the best,” Poppy said as she leaned back and pushed her plate forward.
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’ve been thinking about this trick I learned a while back, where I hum while I suck your cock, and I thought I could try it on you. But maybe it’s better that we don’t do that. I wouldn’t want you to get obsessed with my mind-blowing oral skills.”
She got up and took her plate to the counter, her fingers brushing over my shoulder as she walked past.
“Too fucking late for that,” I muttered, finishing my food that no longer tasted good.
Nothing would ever taste as good as Poppy.