Chapter 2
I was never certain how long I sat rigidly in the chair, regarding Joanna in complete stillness. Time seemed to slow, the light from the window growing thick.
Joanna peered at me in concern that turned to alarm. Through vision that seemed to have blurred, I saw Joanna rise swiftly, take something from a drawer in the sideboard, and return to wave it under my nose.
I nearly jumped out of my chair. The odor of ammonia assaulted me, and I coughed, trying to push the bottle away.
“No need for smelling salts, Joanna,” I choked.
Joanna quickly slid the bottle’s cork into place. “You went pale as a ghost, my dear. I thought you would tumble to the floor.”
“I am a bit more resilient than that.” I spoke breathlessly, and, I admit, felt dizzy and sick.
“Your news stunned me, is all.” My sight began to clear as my breath returned to me, and with it, confusion.
“What do you mean, leaving London for good? You have lived here all your life. Your sojourns out of town are brief, and you always tell me how relieved you are to return home.”
I did not voice the most pressing concern about Joanna and Sam departing London. What about Grace?
“I will be wretched, I’m certain,” Joanna said with wry humor.
“But the post is so very good for Sam that I will put up with it. Basingstoke is but a short distance by train. The town is a hub now, with manufacturing and all sorts, and is on the London and South Western Railway and also the Great Western line from Reading. Which is why the solicitors anticipate a great deal of business. The brother of one of them is already there—they are enlarging his premises.”
“How short a distance?” I asked in a small voice.
I was a child of London as much as Joanna and had only a vague idea of where Basingstoke lay. To the west and south of London, judging by which railways Joanna had just said ran there. I’d traveled by rail to Devonshire before, and it had seemed to me a lengthy journey.
“If you take an early train, you could be there in a few hours at most.” Joanna’s tone was meant to be reassuring, but my heart sank.
“I could not come to see Grace on Mondays, then.” There would be scarcely enough time to visit with her if I had to ride for two hours to Basingstoke and then two hours back.
“We will make some arrangement.” Joanna hovered beside my chair, but at least she did not come at me with the smelling salts again.
“I promise, Kat. You will not lose by this. And just think, Grace will be able to have walks in the country and gather flowers for bouquets—all the things she cannot do from a back lane in the City. Besides, you and Daniel will be wed next year, and none of this will matter.”
We’d be wed if Daniel didn’t come to harm running off to wherever he’d gone with Mr. Grimes. I’d not worry so much if not for the abrupt change in Daniel’s countenance when he’d returned from their chat. I’d already been fretting about it when Joanna’s news derailed my thoughts.
I rose from my chair. I meant to do it decidedly, but I swayed a bit, and Joanna had to steady me.
“My dearest friend.” I softened my tone, not wishing to be quarrelsome. “You have told me a marvelous thing, and I have done nothing but complain about an inconvenience to me. This is a happy chance for Sam, and as you say, we will come to some arrangement.”
Joanna’s expression told me she knew I wasn’t capitulating so easily. “I fretted all morning wondering how to tell you,” she said. Tears filled her eyes. “I know it will be difficult…”
“No, no, no.” I caught Joanna in my arms and embraced her with warmth. “It will be a happy time for you and your family. Sam deserves this—has deserved it for a long time. Grace and I will be well, and as you say, it is not forever.”
Joanna returned the embrace, squeezing me tightly.
We’d seen much in our lives, the pair of us, from our girlhood, fleeing the toughs of Bow Lane, to finding love and starting families of our own.
Joanna’s path had been less hazardous than mine, but she’d endured plenty of hardship raising four children plus Grace, trying to make ends meet on Sam’s tiny salary.
Her good heart was why I hadn’t had to abandon my girl when I’d borne her, alone and widowed, my mother gone, and my so-called husband’s perfidy revealed to me.
If not for Joanna, Grace would have grown up at the Foundling Hospital or a similar place, and I might never have seen her again.
They’d have trained her to go into service and to efface herself until she barely existed.
Because of Joanna, Grace was able to blossom into a beautiful and assured young woman, unafraid to be herself.
“You have my gratitude, always,” I told Joanna. “Without you, I would have been lost.”
I released her to wipe my eyes. Joanna wiped hers at the same time, and we laughed shakily at each other.
“I love Grace like one of my own,” Joanna said. “But I will never keep you from her. I can travel with her to Town on Mondays, and we’ll meet for tea and have a jolly time.”
I wasn’t certain Sam could stand that expense, even with a rise in wages, but I only nodded in agreement. We’d have to organize visits, and my life would be different, but I’d always known, in the back of my mind, that things would have to change sometime.
I hadn’t expected the change would come today. I was certain I could adapt, however, once I worked through my bewilderment.
So I told myself, in order to keep from collapsing into the chair and weeping with abandon.
“Grace must be excited,” I said. “About walks in the country, and so forth.”
“Well.” Joanna’s hesitation caught my attention.
“She does know, doesn’t she?” I asked. “I thought she had something on her mind this afternoon, but I had no chance to discover what.”
“I asked that she didn’t mention it until I spoke with you,” Joanna said. “Forgive me for that.”
“I imagine you and Sam discussed how best to break it to me,” I said, some of my good humor returning. “To make certain I didn’t go mad on Hampstead Heath, striding up and down, kicking over our picnic basket, and tearing out my hair.”
Joanna’s smile trembled. “Something like that.”
“Daniel would have had to tackle me to keep me quiet. Which, I suppose, would not have been so bad a thing.” My face heated at this admission, but only Joanna and I stood in this room, and she’d known me forever.
Joanna broke into a genuine laugh. “You are smitten, Kat Holloway. I am so pleased to see it.” She sobered. “Grace is not entirely certain she wants to leave London. She is using her age and her worries for you as arguments. I decided to leave that conversation to you.”
“Thank you very much,” I returned. “But quite right. Grace is my responsibility, and I need to explain what is best for her. The country will be much safer, I think. She is growing so beautiful.” I trailed off wistfully.
Grace’s dark hair had turned glossy, and her face had lost the roundness of childhood. She had a figure now, a sweet one that was certain to catch attention. Soon her skirts would reach her heels, and she’d put her hair up like the young lady she was becoming.
“She is indeed,” Joanna said. “I have taught her to be careful, but London is a dangerous place for the young. You and I know that well.”
“We were fast on our feet,” I acknowledged. “Grace is far more refined than we ever were, bless her. I will speak to her.”
“Good. Then she’ll abide by your wishes and cease plaguing me.”
My brows rose. “Grace? Plaguing? She is the sweetest child in creation.”
“She is your child.” Joanna’s look was half-teasing, half-serious. “With your formidable will.”
“That is so.” I could not help but burn with pride. “I am delighted for you and Sam, Joanna. I truly am. I am eager to see your new house. I will visit every Thursday at the very least, and plague you myself.”
“I can think of nothing better.”
Joanna and I embraced once more, both of us relieved that we’d come to some resolution. I would be miserable tonight, alone in my chamber, but I decided not to spoil Joanna’s happiness for her Sam.
When Joanna opened the parlor’s door to ask the maid to fetch my wraps, we found Grace sitting on the stairs, waiting for us.
I could not decide how much she’d heard, but Grace’s expression told me she knew Joanna had told me, and also that I’d not be pleased that she wished to remain in London.
“Walk out with me,” I told her.
Grace readily rose from her seat. The maid brought out our wraps, and once we were attired, Grace led the way out and took my arm as we strolled slowly down Clover Lane toward Cheapside.
“I don’t much want to go to Basingstoke,” Grace said before I could decide how to begin. “I know I am being ungrateful and difficult, but I’m old enough to understand what it will mean for me to leave London. I will have to leave you.”
Her hand tightened on my arm, and for a moment I feared my tears would come flooding back.
“I can travel to you every Thursday,” I said. “Never fear. Joanna has proposed that Mondays you come to London, if that can be arranged. I look forward to seeing the countryside. I am so rarely able to leave the metropolis.”
Grace’s glance at me indicated she saw through my cheery acceptance. “If you spend all your money on train tickets, it will take that much longer for you to save for your tea shop,” she pointed out. “Or the market stall you mean to begin.”
“I know that, but any sacrifice is worth—”
“Also, I have had a marvelous idea.”
It was the height of rudeness for a girl to interrupt her elders, especially her mother, but Grace’s eyes shone with such eagerness, I didn’t scold her.
“Oh, yes? What is this marvelous idea?”
Grace pulled me to a halt and faced me with enthusiasm.
“Hannah has been pestering you to set up your stall in Portobello Road, has she not? She claims someone will swoop in and grab the spot she is keeping an eye on for you. Well, if we set up the stall before Aunt Joanna leaves, then I can stay in London and run it for you.”
I hesitated. “I see.”