Chapter 13 Do Not Panic!
Do Not Panic!
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Chère Sam,
I have been trying to reach you, but quelle surprise, you are screening! I hope this means you are working happily on Gold Digger. Let me know if I can help.
I spoke with your beloved editor Patricia this morning, and she asked again about pages. I’m sure you read in PW that Hercules, like other houses, has let go of some of its people, including authors. Do not panic! Patricia is not one
of them. Nor are you. For now, your contract is intact.
Sam, I must stress what a good time this is to provide proof of your latest masterpiece, so Patricia can bring it to the Hercules
team. Patricia believes in you 100 percent. She said she would contact you to set up a lunch, which, although I cannot tell
you what to do, I would accept. And I would arrive with pages in hand.
As much as you are my Author Who Could, I am your Ride or Die Superagent. Send me anything you have, and we will go over it,
d’accord? Let us show Patricia, Hercules, and the world that you are producing another Sam Vetiver blockbuster.
Call moi! Any time, day or night. On my mobile if you have to.
Bisous, my favorite.
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 29
Time: 12:14 p.m.
Chère Sam,
Again, c’est moi. I am sorry to be blowing up your phone and now your email. I wanted to be sure you got my last messages and that you are
not curled in the fetal position. Please set an agent’s mind at ease. Call.
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Mireille Levenge
Date: August 29
Time: 1:30 p.m.
Dearest Mireille,
I’m so sorry to have worried you. Yes, I got your messages, and although I am not curled in the fetal position, it did occur
to me to go drink heavily under a bridge. I did not; I’m still at the desk. Of course I’ll have lunch with Patricia, and I’ll
bring her the best pages I can.
Is there any way, just for the sake of argument, that I might present Patricia with an alternate idea? In case GDM continues to be stubborn? I know sometimes authors receive a contract for one book and then write another. Just a thought.
Merely to explore options.
Love and gratitude,
Sam
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 29
Time: 1:38 p.m.
Chère Sam,
Merci bien for confirming you received my messages. I am very glad you are not drunk beneath a bridge. May I suggest retail therapy,
or at least a pedicure.
As for your question re: an alternate idea, I would say let us not even go there at this point. Sam, you are four months from
delivery! And given the reorganization at Hercules, as at other publishers, it is not a good time for a roll of the dice.
That is my two cents. Of course I cannot tell you what to do, I am merely the agent. Call moi if you want to discuss.
Love,
Mireille
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Mireille Levenge
Date: August 29
Time: 1:45 p.m.
Dear Superagent,
I hear you loud and clear. Thank you for your candor and always having my best interests at heart. I’ve never defaulted on
a deadline, and I won’t start now. Back to work.
Love, Sam
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 29
Time: 1:46 p.m.
Bien. Send me whatever you have before you see Patricia.
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Mireille Levenge
Date: August 29
Time: 1:47 p.m.
You are the best.
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 29
Time: 1:48 p.m.
Non, you are.
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Mireille Levenge
Date: August 29
Time: 1:48 p.m.
No, you.
From: Mireille Levenge
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 29
Time: 1:49 p.m.
Stop checking your email and get to work.
From: Patricia Miller
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 30
Time: 4:55 p.m.
Dear Sam,
Checking in to say I’m thinking of you. As you may know, I had lunch with Mireille. I wish we’d had better news with Sodbuster, but sales are soft for everyone except the heaviest hitters right now. I still think it’s a hell of a book.
Meanwhile, we’ve got Gold Digger on deck. I’m sure you’ve heard Hercules, like every publisher, is tightening its belt. But I’m placing my bets on you. Let’s
make Gold Digger the next runaway bestseller. Do you have a sneak peek you could give me? I’ve got some schedule openings the first two weeks
of September. How about a good old-fashioned editor-author hobnob? Come on down. Martinis on me.
Love,
Patricia XO
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Patricia Miller
Date: August 30
Time: 5:01 p.m.
Dearest Patricia,
Thank you so much for your lovely email. Yes, Mireille told me about your meeting. I too wish Sodbuster had done better, but onward! I’d seize any excuse to have lunch with you and gratefully accept. Thank you.
Love,
Sam XOXO
From: Patricia Miller
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 30
Time: 5:02 p.m.
Good, that’s what I hoped you’d say. Let’s get after it! I’ll have my assistant send you some dates.
L, P
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Patricia Miller
Date: August 30
Time: 5:03 p.m.
Wonderful! Thank you so much, Patricia. You’re the best.
XOXOX S.
From: Sam Vetiver
To: Sam Vetiver
Date: August 30
Time: 5:04 p.m.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. Fuck.