Chapter Eighteen
Eighteen
Atlas
“Dude. You do not have a fucking girlfriend,” Fallon chirped.
We were hanging out in my basement, the two of us playing Super Smash Bros. while Cyrus sat there silently judging, contributing to the conversation when he had something important to add.
“I do,” I said, giving in to the grin that came out every time I talked about Tegan.
“Who gets out of a fourteen-year relationship and jumps right into a new one?” Fallon asked, judging me hard. “You should be living it up. Enjoying yourself.”
“I am enjoying myself,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Personally, I don’t find anything wrong with it,” Cyrus said, suddenly invested in the conversation. “Atlas isn’t the type to date around, and if he didn’t have feelings for her, he wouldn’t have asked her out to begin with.”
Fallon stared at him, blinking a few times. “You’re supposed to back me up on this.”
Cyrus blinked back. “When do I ever back you up on anything?”
“So did you fuck her yet?” Fallon asked, because of course he would. “How was it—”
I shook my head, trying to keep my temper under control. “Please don’t talk about Tegan like that.”
“Talk about her how?” Fallon asked.
“Like she’s just some hookup. Our sex life is none of your business.” It was nonexistent currently, but that was beside the point.
“So you did fuck her!” Fallon shouted.
“I didn’t, okay!” I shouted back. “I felt like she wanted me to come inside but I just kissed her good night and drove home with a raging hard-on.”
Fallon stared at the ceiling, letting out a deep breath. “A-man, if she was giving you the signs, you should have just gone for it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow,” Cyrus said.
I sighed. “That’s the thing, though. I don’t think she wanted to take things slow.”
“Well, then, why did you?” Fallon asked.
“I don’t know! Maybe because I’ve spent the last fourteen years fucking the same person like it was an obligation.”
Fallon stared at me wide-eyed. “Wait—”
Cyrus grimaced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize things had gotten that bad.”
“I mean, it was fine. Just not anything mind-blowing, ya know?”
“I wish you would have told us sooner. That is a giant red flag, my friend,” Fallon said, like he was some sort of sex therapist.
“I know,” I groaned. “I know I should have done something sooner, but I thought it was going to pass. I mean, we were together for fourteen years; I thought it was normal for things to get a little stale.”
Fallon whistled. “You dodged such a fucking bullet with that one, man. I hope this new girl lets you be all feral in bed. Taking your knot while you—”
Hot, possessive anger tore through me. As usual, Fallon was taking it too far.
I growled, showing my teeth. “Don’t you fucking talk about her like that.”
Tegan taking my knot didn’t need to be the topic of the conversation. Not now. Not ever.
“Easy,” Cyrus said calmly.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, letting the tension slip out of my body. “Sorry,” I grumbled to Fallon.
“It’s all good, man. I overstepped.”
As usual.
“So”—Fallon cleared his throat—“you’ve met her friends. When do we get to meet her?”
“Soon, I guess.”
“She would be down to hang out with us?” he asked.
“Why wouldn’t she be?”
“Jade never hung out with us,” Cyrus pointed out.
Fallon nodded. “She’d always come up with some lame excuse to avoid us.”
“I really don’t think she liked us very much, which is fine because the feeling was mutual,” Cy said.
“Yeah,” Fallon agreed. “There were a lot of red flags now that I think about it.”
“Like what?” I was curious what they saw in her that took me so long to notice—or so long to accept, rather.
“When we were in college, she wouldn’t let you go to parties without her,” Cyrus said.
“Red flag,” Fallon chirped.
“When you were thinking of opening a gym, she told you it wouldn’t be successful,” Cyrus said.
“Red flag.”
“Not to mention she obliterated your self-confidence,” Cyrus said, his voice laced with hatred.
That one really stung. They’d noticed, because of course they would have. They were my best friends, and I felt almost guilty that I’d put them through that.
“See?” Fallon said. “Red. Fucking. Flag.”
“Fuck. All right already. I wish you guys would have said something to me sooner.”
“Would you have listened to us?” Cyrus asked.
“I mean—” I thought about it for a second. “No.”
“Exactly,” he said.
The straw that really broke the camel’s back was when Jade made an offhand comment about my parents, about how I narrowly avoided a life as a hardware store owner. Like she was above that. Like she was better than my parents.
I still remember how she looked when I told her to get out—like I’d slapped her.
We were together for over a decade. Everyone expected us to get married and start a family. No one tells you how hard it is to extricate yourself from a relationship of that magnitude, but I just couldn’t keep pretending to be happy. I was miserable, and deep down, Jade probably felt the same way.
“You deserve a better partner,” Cyrus said. “Someone who appreciates you and gives you the kind of relationship you deserve.”
“And who knows?” Fallon said. “Maybe this girl is your mate.”
I laughed awkwardly.
After my relationship with Jade, I didn’t think the whole fated-mates thing was in the cards for me. But now? The things I felt for Tegan made me feel like it could be a possibility. I mean, not now. But maybe I gave up hope a little too prematurely.
“The full moon is coming up. Are you going to spend it with your new lady friend?” Cyrus asked.
“I mean, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.”
It wasn’t that I couldn’t because Tegan was a human.
It was just too soon in our relationship to introduce her to that side of me.
I didn’t want to hurt her or scare her, and we hadn’t even had sex yet.
Knotting and rutting were unique to wolven, and they weren’t the sort of thing you jumped right into.
I wanted to let her get comfortable with me first.
When the time was right, we’d spend the full moon together and I’d show her just how pleasurable it could be.