Chapter 11 #2
He turned on the overhead light and led me to the dining room. Taking a seat, he gestured between his lap and another chair. “Pick one.”
I’d just lost it in front of him. Did he really want me close?
When I perched cautiously on his lap, his arms twined around my waist. My pulse pounded from my outburst, but his hold relaxed me until my back drooped against his chest, radiating warmth.
I wanted to forget my problems, but that didn’t seem possible anymore. Sex with Gavin didn’t make me disappear.
“So, what was all that about?” he murmured. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I’m getting a new half-sibling in two months. And my dad’s a dick,” I muttered. “My mom was right; I’ve always defended him. Forgiven him. He — He has a long history of cheating. I’ve never told anyone. We all pretended it wasn’t happening, but I’ve known since I was fourteen.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “That must have been really hard for you.”
I nodded against his shoulder. “I always blamed my mom. I guess that wasn’t fair. I’ve fought with her, but never with him. Not that she’s easy. She tried to give me Botox for my twenty-first birthday last month.”
Gavin sputtered. I laughed, too.
“She was so hurt that I wasn’t overjoyed. She kept saying, ‘You’re an actress! In ten years, you’ll thank me.’ At least she’s stopped pushing me to get a nose job. She’s always said my nose is too big.”
He tapped my nose. “Don’t change anything.”
The moment suddenly felt very intimate. I’d met Gavin all of thirty hours ago. Was this too fast? Was I too much?
“Enough about me. I’m glad you love your mom. Your dad, too?”
He shrugged. “I haven’t seen much of him since I was sixteen. He’s kind of a deadbeat.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. He’s unreliable and has a rotten temper. He never deserved my mom. To be honest, our family’s better off without him.”
“Do you have brothers? Sisters?”
“Two sisters. Younger. Total handful growing up, but I love them. When my dad left, I felt like I had to be the man of the house.”
“A savior,” I said softly. “An angel.”
His chest rose and fell against my back. “Maybe I took on too much. But I’d rather have him out of my life than in it.”
Would I ever feel that way about my father? Would I even have a choice, now that he was starting his own shiny new chapter?
Gavin was stroking my tangled curls, the affection strange and new, yet comforting. My head dropped against his shoulder.
“The one thing he did was give me a camera,” he said abruptly.
“My grandfather was a wildlife photographer, always traveling. He and Dad weren’t close, but he’d given him a camera when he was a teenager.
So one day, my dad’s cleaning out the closet.
He hands me this fancy camera and says, ‘Learn to use the damn thing. I never did.’ It felt like he was saying, you can do better than me. Go out and make something of yourself.”
“What’s past is prologue,” I murmured.
Gavin chuckled. “It was my fourteenth birthday.”
My fourteenth birthday had involved renting out a chic rooftop restaurant with a themed Old Hollywood dress code — my mother’s idea. It tugged at my heart, picturing Gavin’s present coming from a dusty old closet when I’d received a stack of expensive gifts.
“What were you like?” I clasped my hands in my lap, wondering again if I was pushing the intimacy too far.
“Skinny. Quiet. I looked at everything through that camera. It was an extra set of eyes. It became part of me.” He let out a brief laugh. “If I’d lost that camera, I would’ve freaked out like you did over your watch.”
“No wonder you tracked me down to give it back.” I angled my head to see his face. “You really are an angel.”
“Jordana, enough with the angel business. Let it go.”
“Oh, I see you blushing. You love it.”
“A little too much.”
“You don’t want me to worship you?” I pouted, tracing his stubbled jaw.
“You’re the one who deserves to be worshiped,” he muttered. “Fucking goddess in my bed.”
A small, eager noise escaped me. “Goddess?”
“And a dirty little slut.”
That was all it took to get me wet. Turning to straddle him, I kissed him as he slipped his hands under my robe.
“Back for more, kitten?” His fingers skimmed my breasts. “I thought I wore you out.”
This time, I could moan out loud. I could rock on his lap and twine my arms around his neck.
I wanted Gavin to distract me from the news about my family. To take the pain away.
Abruptly, he broke the kiss.
“That’s enough.” He patted my ass. “I’ve got work to do, and you need your sleep.”
“I can’t get to sleep like this.” My hand darted down to squeeze the bulge in his sweatpants. “And no way you can work like this.”
I thought he might relent, but he shook his head.
I groaned. “You’re mean.”
“You think that’s mean? You haven’t seen anything yet.” He flashed me a crooked smile.
I shivered at the promise of dark pleasure in his words. “Gavin, what are we doing?”
“I don’t know.” His eyes were soft now, riveted to mine. “But I don’t want it to stop.”
The air stirred between us, until the intensity made me drop my gaze.
“Whatever’s happening with us,” he went on, “I don’t want any other people involved.”
I fiddled with the zipper on his sweatshirt. “You mean Corey. I told you, I don’t want him. We’re done.”
“Does he know that?”
“I’ll tell him it’s over, I promise. First thing in the morning.” My voice caught, but I felt stronger. This time, I’d say no.
Taking a chance, I leaned forward. Our lips brushed.
“Go get some sleep,” he murmured.
“Are you coming to bed?”
Gavin didn’t know it, but I’d never uttered that phrase to anyone else.
“Soon.” He kissed my forehead. “I want to work on you a little more. Sweet dreams, kitten.”