Chapter 20
twenty
. . .
Jordana
Sunlight filled Gavin’s bedroom. I yawned, snuggling under the covers, nestling my bare ass against his hard cock.
“A quickie?” I murmured. “Before I go to class.”
Gavin didn’t respond right away. He was awake; his breathing told me so.
“What is it?” I twisted to see his face. “You only want to have sex when we’re taking pictures?”
His chest rose and fell against my back. “At least that way I can justify it. For the good of the shoot. You were very convincing.”
I stroked his arm lazily. “Go ahead. I bet you’re dying to fuck me right now. Let’s feel good together.”
“I don’t want to use you, Jordana.”
What was this? Was he having second thoughts about last night — our walk, our conversation?
I laughed. “I definitely want you to use me, Gavin.”
He kissed my neck. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
Why would you? The thought tumbled through my head. Because I might fall in love with you?
Oh.
OH.
As soon as I thought that, it wasn’t a question. Wasn’t a “might.”
It would happen.
I was going to fall in love with Gavin Lockwood.
I was already falling.
In love.
With him.
Quiet rested over us like a sheltering blanket. It shielded us from a world where love didn’t last, cradling us in a cocoon where it could.
Despite Gavin’s protests, he was holding me close, rubbing circles over my belly.
“I like it when you hurt me,” I whispered. “You know all the right ways.”
“Sweetheart, the place I’ve been in for the past year…it’s dark.”
“I understand dark places. You need kindness right now.”
I thought of Blanche, telling Mitch in Streetcar that she needed kindness. Didn’t we all? What would the world be like, if everyone got the kindness they needed?
“I’ve got baggage that I haven’t unpacked,” he muttered.
I peeked at him over my shoulder. “Look who you’re talking to. Honey, I’m an airport carousel. I am baggage central. You think you can scare me off?”
A hint of that gorgeous smile lit Gavin’s face. He pulled me closer, his cock pressing into the soft cheeks of my ass.
“You said it’s been so long,” I whispered. “And you want to make me come to make up for all the times I didn’t. Well, I want to give you all the attention you should have had. The attention you deserve.”
“What makes you think I deserve it?”
“I know you do.” I arched against him.
He inhaled sharply. “Let me get a condom.”
“You don’t have to.”
His hand froze on my hip.
“I mean, I’m clean. I keep tabs on that.” I glanced at him again, hoping I wasn’t ruining the moment. “And I use birth control. So if you’re clean too…”
He hesitated. “I am.”
“But if you’d rather use one, I totally get it.”
The breath whooshed out of him. He pulled me in, hard. His mouth fastened on my neck.
“I don’t,” he whispered. “I want to fuck you raw.”
I almost came, just from that. When his cock slipped between my folds and pushed inside me, I was wet and ready.
I clawed the sheets, bucking, as he caressed my breasts and fucked me slow and deep from behind. His naked cock was intimate inside me, trusting. I was still sensitive from last night’s session, and I squirmed when he stroked my clit.
He tightened his hold and spoke softly to me, his words filthy and tender. My grip slipped, need swirling hot and heavy, until he pushed me over the edge into climax.
He groaned as he came, and I welcomed everything he gave me.
“Such a good little kitten.” He stroked my hair.
I flushed with pleasure. He stayed buried inside me as we cuddled, then eased out and rolled onto his back.
“I have class soon,” I said softly.
Gavin sat up. “Coffee? Breakfast? My kitchen’s better stocked now. I have two kinds of cereal.”
“I’m so happy to hear it,” I said, laughing. “But I have to run.”
“Then go. Get to class. Leave before I fuck you again.”
“Oh?” I raised my eyebrows, clambering to straddle him.
“Now, Jordana.”
He smacked my ass. His palm stung deliciously. I jumped and squealed.
“You liked that, huh? I’ll give you a real spanking tonight and get your pretty red ass on camera. I’m picturing ‘Punishment’ for tonight’s theme. But you need to behave until then.”
How unfair. He knew ordering me around would just make me want to stay. And that theme, Punishment… my mind reeled with possibilities.
“So, you said no men’s clothes should touch my body, except yours.” I climbed off the bed, swaying my hips. “I’ll go back to my place for new underwear and jeans, since you completely destroyed my outfit last night. But how about lending me a shirt?”
A slow smile spread across Gavin’s face. “Take your pick.”
I selected a black-and-white plaid flannel shirt from his closet, knotting the tails at my midriff to turn it into a crop top.
“You like?” I struck a pose.
“You wear it better than I ever did. Now get out before I ravish you.”
Wrapped in my coat, wearing only Gavin’s shirt underneath, I strutted to my apartment. This was no walk of shame in the glittering, rain-washed morning. This was a walk of pride.
I was proud of what we were creating together.
Proud of how I felt about him.
But I couldn’t tell Gavin that I loved him. Not yet. It was too soon.
The last thing I wanted was to scare him off.
To be too much.