Chapter Eleven
S am stared at the vacant house at the end of the street on the outskirts of Marietta, and Beth wondered for the umpteenth time what her son was thinking. “You’ll be able to walk to school, or ride your bike. It’ll take ten minutes to get there, max.” She tried to inject cheerfulness into her voice, but her knuckles showed white on the steering wheel. Did she know what she was doing? Not just with Cal, but in her insistence that she and Sam would leave the ranch and live in town?
No and no.
And, yes, living in Marietta would make it harder for her and Cal to do… whatever they were doing, but she would have her own space, her own autonomy, in case nothing came of her current relationship. Dalliance. Wooing. Surely that was important?
And then there was Sam’s relationship with Cal these days to consider. Sam’s hero worship had cooled considerably since Beth and Cal had started going out.
This was the fourth house they’d looked at from the list the rental agent had given them, and the best by far. “It’s close to your friend Reggie’s place. What does it say on the listing?”
“Three bedroom.” Sam read from his phone. “Two bathroom, one garage, established garden—it was part of the old orchard belonging to that big house on the hill. This was the manager’s cottage. Wet room, old kitchen but it still looks newer than ours. Mom, it’s got wallpaper in the bedrooms. Big pink roses in one of the rooms, sailboats in another, and then dinosaurs.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Bad, Mom. Jeez! I’m not four, and you’re not into roses.”
“It has a nice porch.”
Sam studied the porch first and then the realtor’s picture of the porch. “Looks better in the pictures.”
“True.” Beth held back a sigh.
“If you marry Cal, we wouldn’t have to leave the ranch at all,” Sam muttered belligerently, and wow. Just wow.
Time to mother up and exchange words.
Removing her hands from the wheel, she shook them out and readied her arguments. “First, going on a couple of dates with someone doesn’t mean they’re about to propose.” Even if she had already laid an offer of marriage on the man and been—rightly—refused. “Second, your attitude toward Cal has wavered since he started looking at me differently and don’t think he hasn’t noticed. Even with the puppy business, you’re wary around him in a way you’ve never been before, and that’s a concern for him, and me, and a damn good reason to not rush into anything permanent that we don’t all want. And third… thirdly… I need to be able to stand on my own two feet and provide for us—just you and me—with or without Cal in the picture. Because I don’t know where that’s going. And, yes, it means downsizing and moving to Marietta, but that’s life. Sometimes it takes you places you don’t particularly want to go. It’s character building . And that’s not always easy when you’re in the middle of it, but I guarantee you’ll come out the other side of it a wiser, stronger person.”
Sam took off his ball cap and ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the house again before turning to face her. “First, Cal’s intentions are always honorable. Seth said so. Second, I want Cal to be my stepdad so much it hurts—I just don’t want to do anything wrong an’ scare him off so I’m trying to be all polite and the kind of son he might want. And third… thirdly… I get that we need a plan B . Because you’re probably going to screw it up with Cal, anyway.”
Ouch . Point one was fair enough. Point two was such a relief . And point three… Point three was a harsh yet fair judgment of her as a person, and it hurt like hell to hear it. “I don’t want to screw it up. I’m trying not to.”
“That’s okay, Mom. You’ll be wiser and stronger for it.” A small smile hovered in his eyes and on his lips. “It’s character building .”
Being a mother was undisputably that. “But is it worth us getting out and taking a look around this place?”
“Is it empty?”
“Yep.”
She watched her son take a deep breath, as if burying sorrow. Maybe he was, given he’d soon be leaving the only home he’d ever known.
“I like this one,” he said with a forced cheerfulness she had no intention of calling attention to.
Instead, she leaned forward, peering out the windscreen for a better look at the old house. “Only one neighbor. And, see how the porch wraps around two sides and overlooks the old orchard? We’d see the sunset from that porch.”
He checked his phone again, pulling up the layout of the interior. “The living room has double doors that go out to the porch and so does the kitchen.” He opened the truck door. “Coming?”
By the time they’d looked around outside, Cal seemed a little more resigned to his fate. The house had plenty of good points. A lot of light. Several heating options available at the press of a button, according to the listng. Bathrooms that weren’t eighty years old. A well-fenced dog run and kennel to which Sam had said, “Mom!”
Beth had shrugged and not said an automatic no.
“What do you think?” she asked as they stood on the porch.
“I think we should take it,” said the boy who’d never once let her down when she’d asked him to dig deeper for courage, for patience, and for understanding. “But it says it’s not available until December the twentieth. Is that too far away?”
“They have to fix a leak in the basement before they can rent it, but maybe we can ask the agent if Seth can get in there earlier and fix it.”
He nodded, but she hadn’t missed the slight hunch of his shoulders.
“Or we could take the lease and move in after Christmas and before the New Year,” she suggested. “We could say goodbye to the ranch properly. Do all the things we love one last time and appreciate them all the more because of it. We could ask all the relatives to come to us this Christmas instead of us going to them. I’m pretty sure they’d come if we tell them how much it means to us. Because we can do that if you want.” She had the power to give him that level of certainty, if nothing else.
“I want to.” His voice cracked at the end of it but his chin came up and he met her gaze squarely. “I want to do all that and then come here and figure out all the good things about town life, and I want to live in this house next.”
She put her arm around his shoulder and summoned a smile. “For what it’s worth, you had Cal Casey wrapped around your little finger from the moment you first drew breath. He loves you. He’ll always be there for you, even if I screw up. Especially then. When has he not?”
“Yeah, but can you try not to screw up so much?”
“Like how?” She both feared and wanted to know what her son thought she needed to improve on.
“You can stop getting angry when you’re scared and taking it out on other people who are only trying to help. Dad used to do that, and you never did, but now you do it, too.”
Such harsh, unforgiving memories for a young boy to carry. “You’re right. I turned that tap on; I can turn it off.” Shame settled in the pit of her stomach. “I promise.”
“And maybe you can be a bit more, y’know, encouraging. Hold Cal’s hand and stuff. Hug him. Kiss him as if you mean it. Not those weird grandma pecks you keep giving him.”
“Grandma pecks,” she echoed faintly. “That’s what’s been worrying you. My grandma pecks. You think my kissing mojo is terrible.”
Her boy descended the steps and turned to look back up at her. “Well, it’s true .”