5 #4
Well… not in the same way. But then, my fixation wasn’t on him. It was on the list I’ve slowly been working through since high school. I only fixated on him this afternoon, when I found Cotton’s body. And, yeah, I guess these past few hours have taken the edge off my need.
“What were the side effects again?” he begs. “You’re the scientist, Cass. What were those side effects?”
“Violence and hyper-fixation,” I recite.
“But not… not death, right? Just… violence and hyper-fixation. And I’m realizing… I am fixated on you, baby. And I can be real violent. But I don’t have to kill you. Haven’t I been violent to you, Cass?”
“Yeah, you have.” I wince as my lower body throbs at the memory of all he’s done to it since last night.
“See? I can be good to you. Let me show you just how good—how violent I can be. I don’t need to kill you. We can keep doing what we’ve been doing. I’ll let you hurt me, too. You can stab me in all the places where I won’t bleed out. You can stab me while I fuck you.”
I shake my head. “I mean, it’s a nice prospect, Finn. But we have to be realistic. It would just be a temporary fix, at least for me. I’m a killer.”
“Yeah, well, I am too.” He blinks his eyes, and I could swear I see tears forming in his eyes. “We could kill together.”
“Stop with the romantic crap, Finn. It’s so cringe.”
“Fine.” He lets out a long sigh. “But, Cass… I’m so addicted to you, baby. I wouldn’t care about dying, honestly I wouldn’t, if it didn’t mean living without you, and—”
“Well, you wouldn’t exactly be living, since you’d be dead.”
He clicks his tongue in impatience. “You know what I mean. Last night, when I went back to my place to sleep… even asleep, it was fucking hard not to be with you. And it almost killed me when I killed Cotton… not seeing you, or smelling you, or…”
“How the hell can you kill me if you can’t live without me?” I question.
He lets out another sigh. “Exactly. I can’t.
I can’t fucking do it, Cass. I can’t live with you—can’t live without you.
All I can do is live with you while telling myself I’ll kill you one day.
But not yet. Maybe when we’re like, one hundred years old.
And until then, I’ll be fucking you so hard every day that it’ll take the edge off. ”
“I guess that is pretty romantic, Finn.”
His face brightens, but darkens again when I shake my head.
“No, it won’t work. I don’t have till I’m one hundred. I only have… twenty-seven minutes.”
He frowns. “Twenty-seven minutes? Why?”
“I thought you knew everything.” As I speak, I keep my eyes glued to the pearls of blood that pearled on his abs when I grazed them with my knife. They make my mouth water. “Twenty-seven minutes is when the bomb goes off.”
“The… bomb?”
“Yeah. I planted a bomb under the gymnasium. Or rather, in that little clump of bushes right next to the back entrance. I did it after setting up this trap. My next four names are inside.”
He chuckles. “Uhm, but so are about three hundred other people.”
“Yeah, but my four names are inside,” I repeat. “Also, most of the lecture hall students from this morning. Two birds, one stone.”
His chuckle turns into a full-belly laugh. “Damn, that’s cold, baby. You’re a real psychopath, aren’t you?”
“I’m not a psychopath,” I snap. “I told you, my next four names are in there. And I have to kill you first, Finn. It’s the order of the list. I replaced Cotton with you, and he was on my list above those four other people. I can’t change the order.”
“Well, can’t you change me? Can’t you put another name in my place?”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Yeah, I guess it doesn’t.” A third long sigh. “You know, I’m the only one who understands you. And you’re the only one who understands me. Too bad I’m gonna have to kill you.”
“No, Finn. I’m killing you.”
“Oh, right. Right. I forgot. Well, get it over with, already. I’m getting lightheaded from dangling upside down like this.”
I sigh too, going back to dragging the knife up and down his chest, wondering where I should stab him.
I don’t want it to be too painful; I guess the asshole has managed to worm his way into my empty chest cavity.
I also can’t bear to ruin those beautiful abs.
Maybe I could slit his throat, but that would mean not being able to chat with him while he dies, and that would be too bad.
I guess I will miss him once he’s dead, because in an astoundingly short amount of time, and despite how hard I’ve tried to resist it… well, he has become Daddy.
“I wish I didn’t have to do this,” I murmur in his ear.
“That’s okay, baby. I know you can’t help it.” From his upside-down position, he reaches his hand out to awkwardly pat my head. “Why don’t you lick it first?”
“Lick… it?”
“The blood on my chest. I saw you staring at it. Practically salivating at the mouth, my little cannibal, huh?”
He’s going to die soon, so I don’t bother objecting. “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know if it’s the blood or the abs that does it, but…”
I edge closer to him, dipping my head toward him, pushing a tongue out to…
Fuck!
He grabs my neck, forcing me into a chokehold, while his other hand grabs my knife and presses it against my left tit.
Fuck! He got me again!