Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Birdie
Present Day
“Hi,” I greet the hostess. “I’m here to meet someone for dinner. He may not be here yet, though.”
I look down and check my watch. It’s seven o'clock on the dot.
“Oh, is your name Birdie?” she chimes.
I furrow my brows in confusion.
“Yes,” I nod.
She looks down at her tablet and touches the screen before meeting my stare.
“You’re here to meet Callum, right?”
“Right…” I reply hesitantly.
Her eyes light up at my response.
“Great,” she beams. “He’s been here for about an hour. He said he wanted to make sure to get a private table. Follow me; I’ll take you back.” She grins before spinning around and leading me into the restaurant .
My chest constricts when I think about Callum arriving an hour early just to make sure we have privacy. It kind of makes me feel rude for showing up at the last second.
I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a nearby window and quickly run my fingers through my wild hair. I lower my hands and reach for the hem of my thigh-length sundress, tugging on the yellow material to make sure it’s covering my ass. I didn’t remember it being so short when I slipped it on, but I was running late and didn't have time to change.
Paralyzed with anxiety, I laid in bed for hours after I put my groceries up. My mind spiraled with thoughts of what could have happened to Callum, all of which were terrible. I stared at the ceiling as tears leaked from the corner of my eyes. Part of me felt weak for agreeing to meet up with him tonight. But the other half of me was overcome with grief for not knowing. For not being there for Cal when he needed me most.
“I almost died that day, Birdie.”
Those were the five words that immobilized me. I felt like I couldn't move my limbs as I watched the ceiling fan spin around in endless circles. I sobbed, and then I ugly cried. How could I have been so close to losing him but never knew?
When I finally dried my tears and checked the time, I had less than twenty minutes to get ready. So, I quickly settled on a simple sundress paired with sandals. After attempting to braid my hair or wear it in a trendy ponytail, I gave up and left it loose, cascading around my shoulders.
Captain Ray’s looks like exactly how you would imagine a local seafood restaurant. The floors are old hardwood, and the ceiling is covered with wooden beams and fishing nets strung from corner to corner. Photos of fishermen displaying their best catches decorate the walls.
The back of the restaurant is illuminated by four large windows that display the outside deck. I see a cluster of small tables scattered around the patio through the glass.
But only one of the tables is occupied…by Callum Pierce.
His body is a hazy silhouette, barely visible against the setting sun. But I instantly know that it’s him. I could find Callum out of a room full of a thousand doppelg?ngers. Like a shadow looming behind me, I’ve always been able to feel his presence.
I feel a jolt in the pit of my stomach as the hostess walks me through the door leading out to the deck. My breath comes out in short gasps as anxiety surges through my veins. You would think that I’m meeting a blind date, not the guy I’ve known since I was eight years old.
But to be fair, we went a decade without seeing each other. We were only eighteen when he left, and now we’re knocking on the door of our thirties. We’re completely different people than we were back then. In a way, it is kind of like meeting a stranger.
“Right this way,” the hostess says over her shoulder as we walk directly to him.
It feels like everything is happening in slow motion as Callum stands from the table and pulls my chair out for me. An apprehensive smile curves his full lips as the sea breeze blows through his raven curls. His blue eyes almost look violet as the golden sunset mixes with his irises.
Even after all these years, I’ve never laid eyes on a man as gorgeous as Callum Pierce. Not in a crowded bar. Not in a magazine. Not even on a movie screen.
For me, it has always been and will always be Callum.
I’ve dated other men, and even had a few long-term relationships. But none of them worked out because—well, I didn’t let them. I would always be the one to end things because how could I subject a good man to a lifetime of emptiness? How could I vow to love them until death do us part when I’ve already sacrificed my heart to a man who stole it and left me in a sea of despair?
Even though I know I’ll never have Callum like I once did, he’s the only man who makes the little creatures in my stomach do backflips and cartwheels.
He’s wearing the same linen button-up shirt from earlier and a nice pair of navy pants. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, revealing his bronzed skin, prominent veins, and defined muscles.
I can’t get over how manly—how sexy —he looks now.
Don’t get me wrong, Callum has always been good looking. But now, he looks like the men I read about in my romance novels. Not only has he gotten taller, but he’s also chiseled to perfection, and not in a beefy way. His body is lean, but burly; he could easily swoop me up into his arms and carry me for miles.
And the faint scruff lining his jaw… My God.
“Your server will be with you shortly.” The hostess pulls me back to reality before she heads back into the restaurant.
Time stands still as I stare at Callum, and he stares back at me. A wave of disbelief rolls through his eyes. He can’t believe I’m here now, and honestly, neither can I.
It’s quiet for several beats as we take each other in, neither of us running away this time.
“Hi, Birdie,” Callum finally speaks, his voice thick with emotion.
His voice…
Guttural and warm.
I missed his voice so much.
“Hi.” I let out a soft smile.
His eyes roam down my body unashamedly .
“That dress on you…” he trails off, his voice full of breathless longing. “You look beautiful.”
My skin feels like a simmering fire beneath his gaze.
“Thanks.” I tuck a lock of stray hair behind my ear before taking a seat.
Callum's throat bobs as he walks around the circular table and sits across from me.
Alluring lights string from each corner of the deck as Hotel California by The Eagles lulls through the restaurant speakers. Palm trees and tropical greenery surround the patio, feeling like a little oasis.
I smile internally because my dad loves this song. The Eagles are one of his all-time favorite bands. In a way, it feels like he’s sending me a sign all the way from South Carolina. Telling me that I made the right decision by coming tonight.
“So…” Callum mutters, distracting me from my thoughts. “Have you been to Captain Ray’s before?”
“No,” I shake my head. “It’s really nice, though. Very quiet.”
“Yeah,” he nods. “The locals try to keep it on the down low. Everywhere else is flooded with tourists this time of year.”
My eyes roam around the deck, noticing we’re still the only two out here.
“How long have you lived in Gulf Shores?” My gaze snaps back to him.
“About a month,” I reply. “What about you?”
“I’ve been here for four years now.” He looks down at his hands before shaking his head. “I can’t believe it’s been that long. I feel like I just moved here from New York yesterday.”
New York.
My chest stings at how much of his life is a mystery to me. When we were kids, we were inseparable. I would have never believed it if someone had told me we would end up like this. So distant and unfamiliar with one another.
Before I have a chance to respond, a man with dark blonde hair walks up to our table.
“Hi,” he grins. “My name is Joey, and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with any drinks or appetizers?”
I’ve been sick to my stomach all day—anxious for tonight. It’s not that I’m necessarily nervous about being here with Callum, but more so learning what his father did to him.
Deep in my gut, I just know that it’s bad. There’s no way that I could eat right now without getting sick.
“I’m actually not that hungry,” I reply. “But I would love a drink.”
“Sure thing,” our server nods. “What would you like?”
“A margarita on the rocks would be great.”
I’ll need a little tequila to get me through tonight.
“One margarita on the rocks, coming up,” he clicks his tongue. “And for you, sir?” he turns to Callum.
“I’ll just take a beer for now,” Callum says politely. “Shiner, please.”
Shiner Bock.
I remember when Callum and I had our first beer together at seventeen. We went to a bonfire on the beach with some friends, and Callum paid some older dude to buy us a case of Shiner Bock. We thought we were so damn cool, hanging out with the older crowd and drinking our ice-cold beers.
“Got it,” our server adds, pulling me from the memory. “Your drinks will be out in a bit.” He turns around and disappears from view, leaving us alone again.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Making small talk right now feels so surface-level when there’s a much bigger conversation to be had .
Unable to meet Callum’s stare, I look down and fidget with my napkin.
“So, you’re a nurse now?” Callum asks, breaking our silence.
I purse my lips together, mustering up a half smile.
“Yeah,” I breathe.
“That’s awesome,” he grins. “How long have you been–”
I cut him off because I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t sit here and act like we’re two best friends playing catch up. We both know that’s not why we’re here.
“Callum…” I trail off. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I didn’t come here to make small talk or pretend that nothing happened between us. Eleven years ago, you left and never spoke to me again. After having sex with me, taking my virginity, you vanished the very next day. You left me so incredibly broken. Do you know what that does to a person, Callum? Do you know how disgusting I felt? How used I felt?”
The corners of his mouth draw down as sadness fills his features.
“Birdie…”
“I don’t want to talk about our jobs,” I shake my head. “Right now, I don’t care about your time in New York or if you have a cat or a dog. I want to know what happened. I’m here to give you a chance to explain why you didn’t have the decency to at least send me a text over the span of a decade.”
Callum swallows thickly as his eyes dart between mine.
“I know I sound like a bitch,” I continue. “But you leaving me like that fucked me up, Callum. For years, I was a shell of a human. But I’m here now, and I want to try to understand. I have to try to understand. Because, once upon a time, I knew you, Callum. In my eyes, you hung the moon. And even though I’m so angry at you, I refuse to believe all of that was a lie. ”
Callum folds his arms across the table and leans in toward me as his eyes soften.
“First of all, you don’t sound like a bitch,” he retorts, his tone serious. “You have every right to be fucking furious with me. What I did to you…”
He flexes his jaw while rubbing a hand against his stubble.
“There’s nothing worse than how I left you, Birdie,” he croaks. “It’s my biggest regret.”
As I stare into his cerulean eyes, my heart cracks because I see a glimpse of the boy I once knew. The kid whose parents never showed up to anything. The kid who spent every minute of his free time with me and my family because his was never around.
He’s right; I would be absurd not to be angry with him. But it’s no secret that something life-altering happened to him…Something terrible at the hands of his own father. And because of that, he has every right to be angry too.
I just need to know what happened all those years ago. I’m so tired of living in the dark.
“What happened to you, Callum? What did he do to you?”
My voice is barely a whisper as my stomach twists and turns.
A moment of silence passes before Callum draws in a shaky breath and begins.
I could have never prepared myself for the horrifying truth that came next.