Chapter 30 This Changes Everything
This Changes Everything
Vivian
It’s just before sunset, the rehearsal is over (thank God), and we’re getting everything set up for our fun, casual rehearsal dinner at the beach bar where we first met (#howromantic!).
Our group is small enough that we’ve got one long table set up for the guests, including Paige and Mac, our immediate family, as well as Jo’s sister Jannice and her husband Bill, who both seem like wonderful people.
I should be having fun. But I’m not. In truth, I’m a hot mess and it’s taking all my energy to keep myself in work-mode rather than succumbing to the swell of emotion that I’ve been feeling since last night when Ben was holding me out on the deck.
It was something so small, yet so incredible.
It felt like he had the power to heal all my wounds just with a gentle kiss on the forehead, with his quiet words, his arms around me.
But I have to set that all aside because I’ve got a job to do.
I walk over to Frank to see if he needs anything.
“I’ve got a camera set up next to the bar facing the ocean to catch the sunset and one to the right of your table to catch the dinner,” Frank says.
“I thought I’d work on some edits of the rehearsal so we can get that posted right away, then you let me know when you’re ready for toasts so I can move around and record that. ”
“Sounds great, Frank. Thank you. As soon as you’re done with the edit, go ahead and post it. I don’t need to see it.”
“Will do. I was thinking of having a song playing over the audio so we don’t spoil anything for tomorrow.”
“Perfect, that’s what I was thinking.” I offer him what I hope is a convincing smile, when truth be told, I’m teetering on the edge of a full-on panic attack now that I’m on the cusp of making the worst mistake of my entire life.
Frank gives me a serious look, then lowers his voice a little. “You sure you want to go through with this?”
Nodding, I say, “At this point, I have no choice.”
“A person always has a choice, Viv. But sometimes it’s between two things with serious downsides.”
“That’s one way to put it,” I answer, watching Henry as he does his best attempt at doing a polka with his grandma.
My heart squeezes so hard, I’m afraid it might burst. I’m going to miss his little face so much.
His little arms wrapped around my neck when he gives me a hug goodnight.
His adorable laugh and the way he pushes his glasses up on his nose.
Shaking my head, I tell myself to snap out of it.
“But my decision is made. It’s for the best. Everything is going to work out beautifully. ”
“Okkkaaayy,” Frank answers, his expression letting me in on the fact that he’s in no way convinced. “It’s your funeral. Err, wedding.”
Dominic waves me over to him at the head of the long table where our guests are waiting. We’re going to sit side-by-side at the end. I give him a nod, then say, “All right. Let’s get this over with.”
“The words of happy brides everywhere…”
As soon as I sit down, Dominic says, “So? What do you think? Do we need to change anything about the ceremony for tomorrow?”
I shake my head. “Not that I can think of. Everything went smoothly. What do you think?”
“I’d say the whole walk down the aisle was a bit lackluster,” Dom tells me.
The rest of the table grows quiet and I can feel all eyes on us.
Before I can respond, he adds, “I mean, I know you’ll look gorgeous doing it tomorrow.
That’s not it at all. But I do feel like the moment will be so much more emotionally-charged if you have someone to walk next to you.
” He gives his brother a hard look. “What about you, Ben? Would you like to give the bride away?”
Ben sets his jaw and stares Dominic down. “That would be a little weird, don’t you think?”
Dominic shrugs. “What would be weird about it?”
He smiles, but I can tell he is anything but happy. “Well, I’m the best man so I’m supposed to be standing at the front to hold you up in case you faint with delight when you see the bride.”
Ben’s Aunt Jannice, who clearly has no idea what’s going on, claps her hands. “Ooh, yes, Ben! Do it. It’ll be so sweet if you’re the one to give the bride away. Like when King Charles walked Meghan Markle down the aisle.”
“Yeah, Ben. It’ll be so sweet,” Dominic says, picking up his mojito. “So why don’t you want to do it?”
Sitting back in his chair, Ben gives his brother a death glare. “Because Vivian is an independent woman. She doesn’t need to be given away.” He chuckles a little, then says, “If you ask me, the whole thing is a little archaic.”
“Do you think so?” Dominic says. “I think it’s romantic.”
Ben mouths, “Stop it,” to Dom, who mouths back, “Why?”
“Uh-oh, they’re mad at each other,” Henry announces, which makes everyone around the table laugh.
“I’ll do it,” Roman says suddenly.
I whip my head in his direction and he offers me a slightly shy smile. “If you’d like me to, that is. I know you’re upset that your father can’t be here, so I’d be honored to step in.”
My nose tingles with emotion, even though I know none of this is real. “That’s very kind of you, Roman, but you really don’t have to.”
“No pressure, dear,” he says. “But if you’d like someone to walk with you, I’ll be there for you.”
I clear my throat, then say, “Well, thank you. I appreciate that, and I’d be happy if you’d walk with me.” I glance at Ben, who looks as torn up as I feel, then I fix my gaze on my drink. Yes, booze. Booze will get me through this.
As soon as the dinner ends, Dominic takes my hand. “Can I talk to you for a moment? In private?”
“Sure,” I answer, my Spidey-senses tingling that this is the moment when things are going to go off the rails.
We walk down to the beach, away from the lights and music at the beach bar. “What’s up?”
Dominic turns to me. “Listen, I wanted to say something before it’s too late.” He pauses, then says, “You don’t have to do this on my account.”
“What?” I start to shake my head and tell him that I’m more than happy to go through with it, but he stops me with a hand in the air.
“The thing is, do you remember Seth? From Tiffany’s?”
“Of course.”
“Well, he and I have been … talking a lot since I got back. And texting. And we’re pretty sure this is the real thing.”
My mouth drops as I try to process what’s happening. Am I being dumped? On the night before my fake wedding?
Dominic takes both my hands. “You are a wonderful woman and a terrific friend, and the opportunity you’re offering me is incredible.”
“Yes, it’s a win for both of us, remember?” I ask, my heart pounding at the thought of losing my groom. “Please tell me you’re not backing out.”
“I am not backing out,” he says firmly.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
“But … if you, say, wanted to go in a different direction, maybe marry a man who’s madly in love with you, I want you to know I’ll be okay. Seth wants to marry me. I can get my green card through him.”
I stare at him, trying to catch up with wherever it is he’s at. “So, let me get this straight. You don’t want to do this now?”
He shakes his head vigorously. “I would never back out on you. Ever. I’m just saying if you’ve changed your mind but you don’t want to call it off because you’re worried about me, you can stop worrying about me.
I’ve got it sorted out. My dream of Broadway can still happen, with or without you.
” He smiles at me, then adds. “I say all of this knowing how badly canceling the wedding and marrying my brother will fuck up your career.”
“It would severely fuck it up,” I answer.
“Yes, it would.” He looks at me for a second, then says, “But maybe there are worse things in the world than having to start over with a new job? Like missing out on the love of your life?”
My heart picks up its pace, my knees go weak, and I feel suddenly dizzy. Then I shake my head. “Look, I know what you thought you saw last night, but it’s really not like that.”
“Cut the shit, Vivian. He’s been sneaking into your bed every night.”
My face heats up and I wince, feeling stupid that I ever thought we were fooling anyone.
“Ben has made it very clear that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship.
He’s got Henry and his new business to get off the ground, so even if I did want to …
switch things up … it wouldn’t be up to me entirely. ”
“He wants to.”
“Did he say that?” I ask, my words rushing together.
“Did you see the look on his face when I asked him to give you away?”
“There was a bit of a death glare for a few seconds.” I feel my face heating up just thinking about it. Oh God, am I secretly attracted to toxic masculinity? That can’t be right.
“That look on his face confirmed what I’ve been suspecting.
I’m his brother and his best friend, and I can tell you without a hint of a doubt that Ben is head over heels in love with you,” Dominic tells me with a big grin.
“In fact, if I had to guess, I’d say he’s already started thinking about having lots of babies with you, which is…
” He shudders, then says, “But then again, maybe not all that gross. Henry’s a pretty great kid. ”
My mind races as I try to figure out what to do, and a sense of desperation comes over me. “But he’s so cautious. He would need years to get to know me before he’d agree to … and I don’t ever want to get married for real.”
“Yes, you do. You want to marry Ben. And he wants to marry you,” Dominic says. “And now, I’m no longer a reason you can’t do exactly that.”
I give him a hard stare. “Wait. You’re not just saying this because you don’t want me to feel obligated to go through with it, are you?”
“I’m really not. Seth and I are in love, and I know it seems crazy because we only spent a few days together, but I can tell we have what it takes to go the distance,” he tells me. “Here, look at our last few text messages.”
Pulling out his phone, he finds their conversation, then hands it to me.
Seth