Chapter 34 No Turning Back Now… Not That I’d Want to.
No Turning Back Now… Not That I’d Want to.
Vivian
Ben gets down on one knee and holds up the infinitely-better ring. “I want to make sure we do this right. Vivian Katherine Whitlock, will you marry me?”
I nod and laugh and say yes, my heart pounding with a joy I’ve never known before, even though I’m also completely terrified.
Paige slips my bouquet out of my hand, and Ben slides the ring on my finger.
Then he stands up, we wrap our arms around each other and we give each other a not-suitable-for-work kiss (that would play very well on social media if I weren’t about to get absolutely trashed).
When we pull back, I whisper, “Do you want to do this now? Because I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for.”
“Immediately,” he says, cupping my jaw with one hand. “This morning, I woke up thinking I was going to lose you forever, which was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. So, yes, let’s get married right freaking now because I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
We turn to the pastor, who looks totally unimpressed.
Giving her a sheepish smile, I say, “Umm, do you mind doing the honors? I know we all lied to your face before, but…”
She shakes her head in disgust, then says, “All right. Fine. I suppose you two deserve each other.” She takes a deep breath. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of this man and this woman.”
We grin at each other and listen as she talks about the sanctity of marriage, the importance of commitment, and the path to a happy, successful life together.
It’s in adjusting expectations, supporting each other’s dreams, helping each other in good times and in bad.
It’s about putting the other first. And she’s also careful to mention how entering into the role as a step-parent isn’t something to be taken lightly.
Honestly, parts of it feel like a lecture, but I don’t even mind. Because she’s right. This isn’t something to be taken lightly, especially when there are three hearts that could get broken, one of them innocent and in need of protection (but not too much, just the right amount).
When it comes to our vows, we decide to wing it.
Ben holds my hands tightly as he says, “I, Benjamin James, take you, Vivian Katherine Whitlock, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, be your soft place to land, your rock when you need one, your champion and your support, for the rest of my life. I’m going to say yes to us, to our love, and to the family we create together.
I promise to support your dreams and prop you up when things get tough.
I promise to be honest, loyal, and true to you.
I promise that you will never, not even for one day, have to worry about how I feel about you, because I will be here for you.
Even if everyone else disappears on you.
I will stay. And I will love you unconditionally and completely from this day forward. ”
I’m crying. It’s an ugly cry. Paige is handing me tissues and I dab under my eyes and blink furiously, hoping to salvage my makeup.
Finally, I find my voice, even though it’s shaking.
“I, Vivian Whitlock, take you, Benjamin James, as my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to love, honor, cherish, and support you, for the rest of my days. I promise to be there for you and Henry, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer. I’ll cheer you on, prop you up, and support you when things get rough.
I’ll help you make your dreams come true, so you can live the life you’re meant to have.
Because you’re a good man, Benjamin James.
A truly good, honest, hardworking, loving, thoughtful, and caring man, and I am so in love with you. ”
“I’m so in love with you too,” he says. “And I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“I can’t imagine my life without you two,” I say, taking Henry’s hand.
The pastor cuts in with, “Okay, these are vows, not a conversation. Let’s get on with this.”
The rest of the ceremony is a blur. The sun sets as we exchange rings and say the official “I do’s,” and we start the party right there on the beach with the popping of champagne bottles and laughter and everyone hugging and talking all at once.
Jo is so thrilled, she starts to sing “That’s Amore,” and the string quartet joins her.
Roman looks on, chuckling at his crazy fun wife and smiling at us.
Dominic is on the phone with Seth, crying and laughing and saying how he can’t wait to marry him.
The sight of it makes my heart soar because I came way too close to ruining what they’ve got. What we’ve got too.
I walk over to Roman with a flute of champagne, my heart pounding a little. He smiles at me. “Congratulations, daughter-in-law. Welcome to the family.”
I give him a worried look. “You sure you approve?”
“I do, but even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t matter.
My opinion isn’t what’s important here. What’s important is how you and Ben will treat each other, and my grandson,” he answers, taking the glass from me.
“And from what I can tell, you’re going to be wonderful for them both.
It took a lot of guts to do what you did.
A lot of guts, and I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I’m proud of you. ”
“So am I!” Jo says, dancing by us. She turns, stretching out her arms to give me a giant hug. “Oh, I’m so glad you two came to your senses! I was planning to stop the wedding myself if you hadn’t done it.”
I laugh. “You were?”
“Absolutely. I’ve been planning it since I saw those sawdust handprints on your butt. Besides, I figured it would help you go extra-viral. Mother-in-law stops wedding!”
“You’re right. That absolutely would go viral.”
Ben comes up and puts his arm around my waist. “I’d watch it.”
We give each other a kiss, then I stare up at his gorgeous face. “I can’t believe you’re my husband.”
“Well, technically, we need to get a license and do some paperwork, so you can still back out if you want.”
“Not a chance.” I spot my mom out of the corner of my eye, talking to Paige and Mac. I excuse myself, then make my way across the sand to her. “Well? Turns out I went full-Ariel.”
She grins. “That you did, but you know what? I have a feeling her life with Prince Eric wasn’t all that bad.”
We give each other a long hug, and tears fill my eyes, then she says, “No way it was as good as what you and Ben are going to have though.”
“I think you’re right.” We let go of each other and I turn so I can look at my groom. “He’s one of the good ones.”
“Yes, he is,” she says. “You can tell by the way he loves his son. And his parents. And his brother. He’s going to love you like that too. Just the way you deserve to be loved.”
I feel a lump in my throat, and my vision goes blurry for a second. “And I’m going to love him right back.”
“I suppose you’re going to move here permanently?”
Nodding, I say, “Yes, it just feels right.”
“It is pretty nice here. Maybe there’s a museum that needs a director.”
“Let’s hope.”
Ben walks over and gives my mom a hopeful look. “Well, Natalie, what do you think? Can you handle having me as a son-in-law?”
“Yes, but mostly because I’ve fallen completely in love with my new grandson,” she says. “And because you’re a stand-up guy who I trust to do right by my daughter.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in. “I promise I will.”
Henry walks up to us and wraps his arms around my thighs.
I place my hands on his little back and he looks up at me with a big grin. “Viv, since we’re going to be a family now, can we get a puppy?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but then glance at Ben. “That’s a big decision, and big decisions have to be made by your dad and me together.”
He lets go of me and tries to snap his fingers. “Butts. I was really hoping that would work.”
Ben, my mom, and I all try not to laugh, then my mom says, “He’s smart.”
“Yeah, too smart for my own good,” Ben answers.
“At least you’ve got Vivian now. Two heads are better than one.”
Ben looks at me. “Except she very obviously wants a puppy too.”
Giving him a firm nod, I say, “That is true, which likely means this is a battle you will lose eventually.”
He smiles at me. “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime, I believe we have a wedding reception to get to, followed by a night in the honeymoon suite to enjoy.”
“Can I come to the honeymoon suite, Dad?” Henry asks.
“No, buddy, Uncle Dom will take you home later. But don’t worry, because that’s not for a long time. You get to stay for the whole party.”
Henry seems to accept that, and we each take one of his hands and corral the rest of the guests in the direction of the restaurant.
We swing him in the air while we walk, and the whole thing feels so natural and perfect, like it’s always been the three of us.
And maybe that’s how it is when you’re meant to spend your life with someone.
Like there was never any use in denying it in the first place, because it was always going to happen.
We make our way down the path, and my heart is full even though my future is uncertain.
I know I’m about to start over in a new place with a new family.
I know that Paige will be here for me, helping me along with whatever I decide to do.
And I know that I’m going to be happy and loved.
And that’s all a person really needs in the end.