Chapter Ten
At least I had something to talk to Joe about that evening – just a shame it was so depressing.
The trouble was that we needed my income, meagre as it was, to supplement Layla’s living costs.
University accommodation was expensive, and we had agreed to try and pay for it ourselves rather than saddling her with even more postgraduate debt on top of paying back her tuition fees.
Even if she had taken the full student loan available to her it wouldn’t have covered the cost of her halls of residence, let alone any living expenses.
And I wanted her to have a great time at university.
I didn’t want her to have to find a part-time job while she was there, on top of the supermarket work she would be doing during the holidays.
I could tell the news worried Joe too, even though he tried his best to hide it.
‘Could you look for another contract?’ he asked, as Orinoco whirled around his heels. ‘Or maybe increase the freelance stuff? Jesus Christ, this dog is a lunatic!’
I put a restraining hand on Orinoco’s collar to show him who was boss and nearly dislocated my shoulder as he lunged for one of my trainers that he’d stolen from the hallway.
‘I’ve had a look,’ I said, wearily. ‘But there’s not much out there at the moment.
A lot of companies are using AI for most of their copy now.
I imagine life isn’t much easier for the marketing teams who were writing the original adverts.
From the tone of the email it was a generic mail shot.
I suspect I’m not the only one whose job has been replaced by ChatGPT or whatever.
I’m just easier to get rid of because of the zero-hours contract. ’
Joe put his arm around my shoulders. ‘It’s a pretty shitty move,’ he said. ‘Just letting you know via an email circular. And I’m sure their copy will suffer as a result. No AI package is going to be as thorough as you.’
I gave him a rueful smile. It was sweet that he was trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t solve the problem.
‘I did see something on Facebook,’ I said. ‘It’s a bit of a curveball but the public library in town – the main one by the station, not the little branch one – they’re advertising for a part-time assistant.’
Joe raised his eyebrows. ‘Have you got any library experience?’ he asked tentatively.
‘Not really,’ I said. ‘In fact, no. None at all. But, you know, I love books – and I imagine there would be training. I mean, it’s probably not the best idea.
That part of town’s really rough for a start, and the hours sound fairly inflexible.
I’d have to do Saturdays and evenings, and obviously when Layla’s back that wouldn’t be great. Plus, the pay is barely minimum wage.’
‘Hmmm. It would be a regular income though, even if it’s… Is he supposed to be eating that?’ Joe asked, momentarily distracted by the dog.
I looked down at the remains of my trainer currently hanging out of Orinoco’s mouth. ‘Not really,’ I said. ‘But it appears I didn’t make that clear from the outset. Maybe if he’s occupied with that it’ll stop him destroying anything else in the house?’
‘Optimistic.’ He frowned. ‘When’s he going back to Farah?’
‘Tomorrow morning,’ I said. ‘We’ve just got to make it through the night.’
He sighed. ‘Shall we FaceTime Layla,’ he said. ‘Give us a bit of a boost?’
‘Yes!’ I said instantly, not wanting to admit that I’d already spoken to her, having been on the phone chatting for over an hour before he got home.
‘Thought that’d cheer you up,’ he said, smiling as we set up the laptop.
He was right. Even though we’d spoken earlier, there was something about seeing my daughter’s face as it lit up the screen that made her much more present.
Not for the first time I marvelled at the fact that ordinary people could just video-call each other whenever they felt like it.
Whoever would have thought this would be possible when we were growing up?
But then I guess in those days we didn’t have computers in our pockets.
We didn’t have the internet, or social media, or high-resolution cameras capable of capturing our every misstep and broadcasting it to the globe in perpetuity. No wonder this generation is anxious.
‘Hello darling,’ I said, hoping to convey with my tone that she was not to mention the fact that we’d only spoken two hours ago.
‘Hi guys.’ She smiled thinly, her expression downcast.
‘What is it?’ I was instantly on high alert. It wouldn’t have taken a genius to work out that something was amiss. Her nose was red around the nostrils, and her eyes were puffy. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Oh, nothing,’ she said, shrugging. ‘A bit of a cold – not quite freshers’ flu but maybe a little dose.’
‘And that’s it?’ I asked, suspicious. She hadn’t sounded particularly bunged up or congested when I’d spoken to her earlier.
‘Poor old you,’ said Joe. ‘Have the rest of the flat got it?’
‘Dunno.’ Her bottom lip was wobbling.
‘Are you still not seeing much of them?’ I said, knowing the answer but wanting my husband to hear it too.
She shook her head. ‘I did bump into one of the boys in the kitchen earlier,’ she said. ‘Leon. He uhm – he told me that the girls were all out at a property viewing.’
‘What for?’ I scrunched up my nose.
‘Like, a shared house for second year.’
‘What?’ Joe said. ‘But you all only just arrived. What are they thinking?’
‘Lots of people are doing it apparently,’ said Layla trying to sound nonchalant. ‘Seems the rental market is really competitive, and people are saying there won’t be enough student houses for next year so – I guess if you’ve decided who you want to live with then you get on and sign a contract.’
‘But…’ I was struggling to articulate the ridiculousness of it all, ‘but, that makes no sense. You’ve had less than three weeks to get to know each other, how can you decide who you want to live with next September?’
‘I know it doesn’t make sense, Mum,’ she said, sounding frustrated. ‘But that’s just what’s happening. And there are more people here who already know each other from school than I’d realised.’
My mouth formed a little oh shape. ‘And is that the case for the girls in your flat?’
She shrugged again, this time a tiny movement of her shoulders.
‘Sort of,’ she said. ‘Marianne went to school with Lavinia and Poppy. And although Betsy and Flora didn’t, they still went to one of the big public schools, so they all know each other from hockey and parties and friends of friends.
There’s this big social network going on, like, Marianne’s godfather works with Flora’s dad and Betsy’s brother played rugby with Poppy’s cousin.
It’s all one big happy family of terribly well-connected people.
’ She sighed. ‘And I’m just not one of them. ’
‘Well,’ I said crossly. ‘I’m sure they’ll be horribly miserable living together. They sound ghastly, the lot of them.’
‘Have you talked to any of them about it?’ said Joe, a little more rationally.
‘Not yet,’ she said, her face downcast. ‘I didn’t even know they’d gone to look at a house until an hour ago.
And it’s going to be awkward raising the issue once they’re back because I just feel, like, really lame.
And I don’t think I’d have wanted to live with them anyway.
It’s just it might have been nice to be asked.
It’s like, the whole flat apart from me, Leon, Karl and Viti. ’
‘But Viti’s nice,’ I said, clutching at straws – I’d only heard Layla mention her name once.
‘She is,’ said Layla. ‘But I don’t think she’d want to share a house. Her parents are already horrified that there are boys living in our flat. She says that her dad’s talking about removing her from halls and making her commute to her lectures from home.’
‘Well, look. You don’t need to decide who you’re living with next year just yet,’ I said. ‘You mustn’t get swept up in the panic about rentals. I’m sure there will be plenty of student lets on the market well into next term.’
She nodded. ‘Yes. You’re probably right.’
‘Try not to take it personally, love,’ said Joe. ‘If most of them know each other from school maybe they’d decided right at the very start that this was what they were going to do. I’m sure they’re not excluding you deliberately.’
She nodded again, a watery smile on her face. ‘Yeah, I know.’
‘And maybe when they come back this evening,’ I said, ‘just ask them whether they liked the house, and what it was like, and whether they’ve signed a contract… Show that you’re interested but – you know – in a casual, relaxed way, and then it’ll be less awkward.’
Joe raised his eyebrows towards the screen. ‘Because your mother’s terribly good at coming across as casual and relaxed,’ he said, and Layla giggled. I didn’t even mind that my husband had thrown me under the bus for a cheap laugh – not if it worked.
‘And anyway,’ I said, elbowing my husband in the ribs, ‘you really don’t want to end up jumping into a big decision like that too quickly. You’ve probably dodged a bullet – far better to make loads of other friends and take your pick over who to live with in a nice leisurely fashion.’
She looked doubtful and then her head turned towards her door. ‘I think they might be back,’ she said, lowering her voice. ‘Should I go and speak to them?’
‘Yes,’ I said in a whisper. ‘Go into the kitchen, make a cup of tea and just style it out. If you sit in your room stewing over it then it’ll feel more awkward next time you see them.’
She nodded and stood abruptly, her phone screen lurching to the side so we had a view of the cobwebbed ceiling. ‘Right, I’ll let you know what happens,’ she said, and the call disconnected.
Joe sat back in his chair. ‘Well, that call didn’t exactly have the intended effect,’ he said, taking in my worried expression. ‘But I don’t think it’s anything to panic about. It doesn’t sound as if she’d have really wanted to live with those girls anyway.’