5. Karlie
— ? —
Karlie
So here I am, standing in the entrance of the grand ballroom in a gown picked out specifically for this room, completely alone.
The room is packed with people who all seem to know each other, who are all looking at me, who are all whispering behind their champagne flutes.
This is the first big society event since Logan vanished.
Every eye in the room is on the Hunt family, or rather, on the notable absence of most of it.
William isn’t here. Terrence isn’t here.
Cassidy is everywhere, working the room with manic energy, her smile fixed and her eyes too bright.
And Helen is here.
She’s standing near the silent auction tables, radiant in red, surrounded by a cluster of society wives, no trace of whatever fainting spell had Cassidy screaming for William across the dining room last week.
When she sees me, her smile widens, and she says something that makes the women around her exchange glances.
I square my shoulders and walk into the room.
“Karlie.” A voice at my elbow, sweet with an edge under it. I turn to find one of Cassidy’s inner circle eyeing me with barely concealed curiosity. “I didn’t think you’d come. What with everything going on.”
“Why wouldn’t I come? It’s Cassidy’s event. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“How brave of you.” Her eyes sweep over my gown, dismissing it. “Helen was just saying how hard this must be for you. Being on the outside of everything.”
“Was she.”
“Mmm.” She leans closer, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “She’s been so strong through all of this. Such a comfort to the family. Cassidy says she doesn’t know what they would have done without her these past few months.”
“I’m sure Cassidy says a lot of things.”
Her smile flickers. “Well. I hope William arrives soon. It must be difficult, attending these events without your husband.”
“Not particularly.” I return her smile, equally sharp. “I find I’m quite capable of socializing on my own. It’s a skill I’ve had to develop recently, what with William being so busy.”
“Busy.” Her eyebrows rise. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
“What would you call it?”
She doesn’t answer, just gives me a pitying look and drifts away to rejoin her cluster of friends. I watch her go, my jaw tight.
I make my way to the bar and order a club soda, because I need to stay sharp tonight, and position myself where I can see the entrance and most of the room.
The next hour is brutal.
I make small talk with people who would rather be talking to anyone else. I smile until my face hurts. I pretend not to notice the pitying glances, the whispered conversations, the way people keep looking toward the door.
A woman I vaguely recognize from one of Cassidy’s garden parties corners me near the hors d’oeuvres table. “Karlie, darling, how are you holding up?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“It must be so hard, with William working such long hours.” She lowers her voice. “Helen was telling us about the strain it’s put on your marriage. She’s so worried about you.”
“Helen said that.”
“She’s such a caring person. Always thinking of others.” The woman sighs. “I told her she shouldn’t feel guilty about spending so much time with William. Someone has to support him through this difficult period, and if his wife can’t be there…”
“His wife is standing right here,” I say pleasantly. “And his wife is perfectly capable of supporting her own husband. But thank you for your concern.”
I walk away before she can respond.
Near the silent auction tables, I overhear Helen holding court.
“…of course, the marriage was always more of a business arrangement,” she’s saying to a rapt audience. “Their fathers orchestrated the whole thing. Very old-fashioned, really. I don’t think Will ever expected it to be a real marriage, you know? More of a… formality.”
I stop walking.
“But he’s doing his best,” Helen continues, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. “He’s so loyal, so committed to his obligations. Even when his heart isn’t in it.”
“How tragic,” one of the women murmurs.
“It is.” Helen sighs. “I just wish Karlie could understand what he’s going through.
But she didn’t grow up in our world. She doesn’t know what it means to be a Hunt.
The expectations, the responsibilities, the weight of the family name…
” She shakes her head sadly. “She’s never really fit in, poor thing. And I don’t think she ever will.”
I step forward into the circle. “Helen.”
She turns, her expression flickering through surprise, calculation, and settling on warm sympathy. “Karlie! I didn’t see you there. We were just talking about…”
“I heard.” I smile at the assembled women. “Don’t let me interrupt. I always love hearing Helen’s perspective on my marriage. She’s so insightful about things that are absolutely none of her business.”
Nervous laughter from the group. Helen’s smile tightens.
“I was just expressing concern,” she says. “As a friend of the family.”
“Of course you were. You’re always so concerned.” I tilt my head. “Tell me, Helen, when you and Logan were together, did you spend this much time analyzing his brother’s marriage? Or is this a new hobby you’ve developed since he disappeared?”
The color rises in Helen’s cheeks. “That’s not…”
“Because I have to say, for someone who was supposed to be the love of Logan’s life, you seem remarkably focused on William. Some people might find that… interesting.”
“I’m focused on supporting the family through a difficult time.”
“Is that what we’re calling it?” I echo her friend’s words back deliberately. “Well. Don’t let me interrupt your support.” I turn to the other women. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I see someone I actually want to talk to.”
I walk away with my head high, even though my hands are shaking.
The second hour is worse.
I’ve made three more circuits of the room. I’ve deflected another half-dozen pitying comments. I’ve smiled until my face aches and made small talk until my throat is dry.
William still isn’t here.
I check my phone again. No messages. No missed calls. No indication that my husband even remembers I exist.
I’m standing near the entrance, nursing my club soda, when I hear Helen’s voice again, closer this time, just a few feet away, clearly meant for me to hear.
“…and she actually accused me of performing,” Helen is saying to a fresh audience. “Can you imagine? As if my grief isn’t real. As if I haven’t lost someone I loved.”
“How awful,” one of the women murmurs.
“It was. It really was.” Helen sighs dramatically.
“I try to be understanding. I know she feels threatened by my relationship with the family. But to suggest that my feelings aren’t genuine…
” She dabs at her eyes. “It hurts, you know? I’ve known Will my entire life.
We grew up together. I was almost his sister-in-law.
And she treats me like I’m some kind of interloper. ”
I set down my glass.
“Helen,” I say, stepping into the conversation. “If you’re going to talk about me, you might as well do it to my face. It’s more efficient.”
She turns, her expression wounded. “Karlie, I wasn’t…”
“You were. You have been all night.” I look at the women surrounding her.
“She’s been very busy, hasn’t she? Moving from group to group, sharing her concerns about my marriage, dropping little hints about how I don’t fit in, don’t belong, don’t understand what it means to be a Hunt.
” I turn back to Helen. “How’s that working out for you? Do you feel better yet?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t.” I smile. “You never do. It’s always innocent, always well-meaning, always just Helen expressing her concern. Except somehow, every time you express your concern, my reputation gets a little more shredded.”
“Karlie…”
“Save it.” I hold up my hand. “I don’t want your explanations.
I don’t want your sympathy. I want you to stay the hell away from my husband, and I want you to stop poisoning every room I walk into.
” I lean closer. “Can you do that, Helen? Can you find something else to occupy your time besides destroying my marriage?”
Helen’s face goes hard. For just a second the mask slips, and what looks back at me is pure cold arithmetic, nothing warm behind it anywhere.
“Your marriage,” she says softly, so only I can hear, “was over before it started.”
Before I can respond, a murmur ripples through the crowd.
I turn.
William is finally here.
He walks through the door looking like he hasn’t slept in days. His jaw is tight, his eyes are scanning the room, and when he finds me, my heart lifts despite everything.
He’s here. Finally. He came.
He starts toward me, and for one breath, one perfect breath, I think everything is going to be okay. He’s going to cross this room and take my hand and we’re going to face these people together, the way we should have from the beginning.
Helen moves first.
She catches his arm three steps from me, tears standing in her eyes, and leans in close to whisper something urgent. Her fingers curl around his bicep. Her body angles toward his, blocking me out.
William looks at me across three feet of ballroom floor.
I watch him hesitate. I watch him make a choice.
And then he turns, and walks Helen toward a side room, and the door closes behind them.
I stand there.
The whole room saw it. The whole room watched William Hunt walk past his wife to comfort another woman. I can feel the eyes on me, the whispers starting up again, the society wives not even trying to hide their satisfaction.
I don’t move. I don’t cry. I don’t give them anything.
I just stand there and watch the door that my husband disappeared through with another woman.
His text comes an hour later.
Take the car. I’ll explain at home.
I don’t take the car. Not yet.
I wait on the steps outside, in the cold night air, my coat pulled tight around my shoulders. I wait for forty-five minutes, until my fingers are numb and my teeth are chattering.
The door opens behind me.
William and Helen emerge together. She’s composed now, no tears in sight, her lipstick freshly applied. When she sees me, her expression flickers, surprise first, then something harder.
“Karlie.” William stops short. “I thought you left.”
“You thought wrong.”
“It’s freezing out here. Why didn’t you…”
“What did she need, William?” I keep my voice steady, even though I’m shaking. “What was so urgent that you had to leave me standing alone in there for hours?”
“She had news about Logan,” he says. “Or she thought she did. It turned out to be nothing, but I couldn’t just…”
“You were three steps from me.” I stand up and face him. “Three steps. I was right there, William. I’ve been right here all night, alone, while everyone in that room watched and whispered and pitied me.”
“Karlie…”
“It’s always news,” I continue. “It’s always urgent. It’s always her. And I’m always the thing it’s never about.”
Helen lets out a small wounded breath, right on cue. “I never wanted to come between you two. I just needed…”
“Don’t.” I cut her off. “Don’t play the innocent victim right now. Not after what you said to me in there.”
“What I said?” Helen’s eyes go wide. “I don’t know what you’re…”
“Your marriage was over before it started.” I turn to William. “That’s what she said to me, right before you walked in. Your friend. Your comfort. The woman you just spent an hour consoling in a private room.”
William’s jaw tightens. He looks at Helen. “Is that true?”
“She’s twisting my words,” Helen says quickly, and her voice trembles with practiced hurt. “I was just trying to help. Karlie has been attacking me all night, and I… I made a comment I shouldn’t have, but she’s taking it completely out of context…”
“Out of context.” The laugh that comes out of me has nothing in it. “What context makes ‘your marriage was over before it started’ acceptable?”
“You’re exhausted,” William says, and he’s looking at me now, not at Helen. “She’s grieving. I’m not doing this on my mother’s steps.”
I stare at him. “You believe her.”
“I believe everyone is tired and upset, and this isn’t the time or place…”
“There’s never a time or place.” My voice climbs no matter how hard I hold it down. “There’s never a moment when you’ll actually see what she’s doing. She can say anything, do anything, and you’ll find a way to excuse it.”
“That’s not fair…”
“Fair?” I step closer to him, lowering my voice. “You walked past me tonight, William. In front of everyone. You looked at me and you chose her, and everyone in that room saw it. Now she’s standing here telling you I’m twisting her words, and you’re taking her side. Again. Like you always do.”
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m trying to…”
“You are. You’re taking her side right now.
” Tears press hot behind my eyes and I keep them there.
“She told me my marriage was over before it started, and your response is to tell me I’m exhausted.
To tell me she’s grieving. To tell me this isn’t the time or place.
” My voice cracks. “When is the time, William? When is the place? Because I’ve been waiting four months for you to choose me, and it never happens. ”
Helen reaches out and touches William’s arm, a gesture of comfort, of solidarity, of ownership. She catches my eye as she does it, and there it is: a small, victorious smile.
I see it. William doesn’t.
“I’m not doing this,” he says, and his voice is flat, closed off. “We’ll talk at home.”
“Will we? Or will Helen have another emergency between now and then? Will your father need something? Will there be news about Logan that turns out to be nothing but keeps you occupied for another few hours?”
“Karlie…”
“Everyone in that room watched me wait for a husband who walked right past me.” My voice drops. “Do you understand that? Do you have any idea what that felt like? Standing there, alone, while you disappeared with her?”
He doesn’t answer.
The silence is answer enough.
I turn to go, and then stop. I look back at him, at my husband, standing on the steps of his mother’s house with his brother’s ex-girlfriend at his side, both of them looking at me like I’m the problem.
“My mother died married to a stranger,” I say quietly. “I’m starting to understand her.”
I watch the words land. I watch him flinch.
Helen’s hand tightens on his arm, and she leans into him slightly. Comfort, support, presence. Everything I should be providing. Everything she’s taken from me.
I walk down the steps and get in the car, and I drive myself home alone.
Again.