Chapter 13
Clara
Alexander Vale had chosen me, and I had waited six years for this moment.
I picked myself tonight.
We were sat opposite each other in the little cafe near my flat. No private dining rooms . No army of helpers. No pricey flowers occupying half the table.
Only Alexander.
And I.
For once he wasn't checking his phone.
He wasn't watching his watch.
He was not distracted.
He waited.
"I want to say something," I said to him.
His face hardened. “Fine.”
I held my mug of coffee with both hands.
“I felt lonely.”
His mouth clamped shut.
I felt alone when I was married to you. I was lonely when Noah was born. I was miserable on birthdays. Anniversaries. Christmas mornings. I felt lonely sitting with you in crowded rooms.
He dropped his eyes.
I went on.
"You know what the worst thing was?" I asked.
He shook his head.
I continued making excuses for you.
The gesture caught his eye.
I figured you were busy. That is a billionaire; it meant you had duties that other people didn’t grasp. “I thought to myself you weren’t good at showing affection.”
I laughed, a sour laugh.
“I defended you to everybody.”
“Clara”
"No. "I put up my hand. "You have to hear this."
He nodded.
So I told him the truth.
“I watched Noah stare at an empty chair at his championship game because you promised you’d come. I saw him put on a face like he wasn't unhappy when you didn't.
I called you four times after I fell off the ladder.
Alexander's face contorted in misery.
“You didn’t answer.”
"I know."
“And when you finally came home, you didn't even notice my bandaged hand.”
He shut his eyes.
“Yeah. I know.”
"That's what you keep saying.
“Because there is no excuse.”
That was my limit.
I was expecting an argument.
A clarification.
Something I could fight.
Instead, he just sat there and absorbed it all.
I looked aside.
"You gave me everything but yourself."
“I thought I was doing what you needed.”
“You made me a house.
“Yeah, I know.
“Dough.”
“I know.
“Security.
“I know.
I swallowed.
But I wanted my spouse.
A silence fell between us.
Alexander leaned forward across the table.
Before he could touch anything, I pulled my hand away.
He stopped right away.
That little gesture stung more than if he'd had an argument.
Because he was finally hearing.
I said, “I don’t want your guilt.
"You won't understand.
“I don’t want a big gesture again.
“You will not get one.”
And I don't want you to follow me just because you realised losing me is inconvenient.
His gaze locked with mine.
“Clara, the loss of you is no inconvenience.”
He spoke in a low voice.
‘It's a heartbreaker.
My heart betrayed me with a single hard beat.
I loathed that shit.
I hated that six years of failure could still make me vulnerable to one sentence from this guy.
Alexander sat back.
"You can't undo what I did.
“No.”
“I can’t give you those six years back.”
“No.
"But I could cease asking you to forget them.
I looked at him.
“What does that mean?
“It means I am not ordering you to come home.”
I blinked.
He went on.
“I won't press you. No, Noah. I will not use my family. I shall not use money. “I will not send you flowers every morning or buy you another house.
"My lips twitched, despite me.
“You are finally learning.”
A weak smile found its way on his face.
"Student lazy."
I nearly laughed.
Almost.
Then he got serious.
“Let me take a shot.
My heart constricted.
"One chance for what?"
“Take you out.”
I looked at him.
“A date?”
"Yes."
“Alexander,” she said, “we're getting divorced.”
“I know.
“You've been married to me for six years.
I know.
“You’ve never taken me on an actual date.
“I know,” I said.
I shook my head.
"This is ludicrous.
“Most likely.”
“You’re a billionaire.”
“Shame.”
“And you’re taking your wife on a first date with you.”
He shrugged a bit.
"I'd rather ask Clara."
The name sounded strange.
Not Mrs Vale.
Not his wife.
Clara.
The woman is in the marriage.
The woman he had neglected to see.
I gazed down into my coffee.
“One meal.”
His eyebrows went up.
"That's a yes?
“Just one dinner,” I reiterated. "And if things go wrong, you leave me alone.
Deal.
And not some fancy restaurant.”
"Fine."
“No private plane,
“Okay.”
"No presents.
His mouth quirked.
“Fine.”
And no security detail lurking five feet behind us.
He stopped.
I pointed to him.
“Alexander.
"Alright.
I smiled in spite of myself.
"Then it's a date.
It was a tiny restaurant.
Warm light. Little tables. Loud laughter coming from the kitchen.
Nothing like the places Alex typically took clients.
He seemed uncomfortable.
You detest the food,” I said.
“I’ve never eaten anywhere without a reservation under an alias."
I laughed.
“Do you mean it?”
"Of course."
Our waiter turned up.
Alexander looked at the menu as if it were a sophisticated financial report.
"What are you drinking?" I said.
"I don't know.
“You own half the city and you don't know what you want for dinner?”
"Apparently not."
I chuckled again.
And then something weird happened.
We had a chat.
Not for business.
Not family.
Not about a divorce.
We spoke about Noah.
Films.
Bad holidays.
The stupid song I used to sing when I was cooking.
Alexander himself had to admit that he secretly detested the pricey wine his friends brought to business meetings.
“You don’t like wine?”
“I hate pretending to like wine.
I looked at him.
”Who are you?
He grinned.
“Apparently somebody you never met.
Perhaps he was right.
Because I saw sights that I'd never seen before that night.
The tenderness in his eyes when he spoke about Noah.
The way he listened, not once interrupting.
How he'd recall small things I'd forgotten I'd told him years before.
And he didn’t check his phone when I laughed.
His eyes flicked to me.
stared at me. Really stared.
For the first time in 6 years I wasn't seated beside a billionaire.
I took a seat opposite Alexander.
The man beneath all that money.
The man I once loved.
And that worried me more than anything else.
The night air was cold outside the eatery.
We stood next to my car.
"Well," I responded, smiling a forced smile. "That wasn't bad.
His eyes sparkled.
“High praise.
Don't get too excited.
“I will not.”
I reached for the car door handle.
Then his fingers clasped softly on mine.
I was frozen.
Alexander did not stop.
He had not asked.
He did nothing except wait.
Offering me a choice.
I glanced down at our hands.
Married for six years.
Six years all alone.
Six years of hoping this man will pick me.
And now he did.
I should have backed down.
I should have known.
Instead, I stared him in the eyes.
and for the first time in all the years I've been apart from him…
I didn’t.”