CtrlC, CtrlV. CtrlC, CtrlV. #4
I feel his hand tighten on my wrist. The steel eyes stare into mine, overpowering me. My heart beats fast. Very fast. Too fast.
I laugh nervously.
“It’s up to you in this matter. After all, I cannot tell you how you should behave. Certainly, showing more friendliness and cordiality wouldn’t hurt.”
Jan squints his eyes. He remains silent.
His steely gaze drills me all the way through my stomach.
I notice a small vein pulsing on his temple.
I don’t know whether my boss will now pour a bucket of cold water on me (with one of his indifferent sentences), or will he finally make an effort and say something nice?
Instead, he does something completely different.
“Well then,” he announces hoarsely, pulls me close, and presses his lips to mine. Lustfully. Possessively. Firmly.
Oh. My. God!
I’m losing my breath.
My knees buckle. I can barely stand. I’m about to slide to the floor…
His arms, however, do not allow this. He embraces me at the waist and pulls me tight against him.
His captivating scent overpowers me. His kiss dazes me.
I’m out of control and I surrender. My hands involuntarily slide into his dark hair.
Jan’s mouth greedily engulfs my lips, and his tongue slips inside.
I can feel his low throaty groan—the vibrations cause a current of arousal to flow from my lower abdomen and dive between my thighs.
We both deepen the kiss. Jan pushes against me in a commanding, determined manner, as if desperate yet unable to satisfy this lustful urge with me.
The intensity takes my breath away and overwhelms my senses.
No one has ever kissed me like this, with such predatory lust, possessiveness, and desire.
Who the hell is this guy? This can’t be the Jan I’ve known for a year—reserved, sparing with words and gestures. There’s so much passion and heat in his kiss that I’m about to burn and take this damn office with me.
An overwhelming wave of excitement engulfs me. I crave him. Sweet Jesus, I desire this man so much that I can’t breathe… I bite his lower lip, grab his hair, and when our tongues begin the erotic dance again, I sigh helplessly.
God, his kisses are unbelievable. His taste is irresistible.
I can smell some minty sweetness from him.
Maybe it’s the candy canes? Or chewing gum?
His smell has been messing with my head since the first day I got a whiff of it.
Let him kiss me. I love his fiery lips, hot tongue, and all-day stubble with which he teases my skin. I want more, harder, deeper…
But he suddenly pulls away.
Like being snatched in the middle of the night from a dazed dream, I look at him with hazy eyes. I’m high, my ears are humming, my heart is pounding wildly.
Jan’s eyes burn through me. He is still holding me in his arms. He breathes quickly, his Adam’s apple is bouncing.
“Does this kind of openness suit you?” he asks, looking me straight in the eye.
I try to calm my breathing and tame my galloping thoughts that are running in only one direction: why the hell did he stop?
I want him to kiss me again. I want him to touch me. I want all of him—now!
An annoying buzzer in the back of my mind brings me back to reality. I shouldn’t want this. After all, I’m at work. After all, this is Jan. After all, he is my boss! I don’t even like him.
What if this is some kind of test? Am I on some HR hidden camera?
They are nuts about testing. Just what are they going to test, and why have they chosen me as their target?
On top of that, they sent Jan to me. The last guy in the company with whom I’d like to have a relationship beyond professional? Why?
I’m overwhelmed by increasing doubt. I look at Jan carefully but don’t see anything on his face that would cause me concern.
On the contrary. His eyes are sparkling—the previously gray irises look like they are shimmering with silver.
A muscle twitches on his clenched jaw. He waits for me to respond.
And I draw a blank. I have no idea what I should think.
On the one hand, I would like him to kiss me again, but on the other, my common sense tells me that I must be careful.
I’m walking on thin ice. Jan isn’t a person you can read like an open book.
And while I’ve always been pretty good at reading people, I can’t figure him out.
Because how the hell am I supposed to explain the fact that he kissed me when I didn’t expect it at all?
We’ve known each other for a while now, so why all of a sudden is he burning with desire for me?
He has always kept me at a distance, and today something went off, and he decided to kiss me.
Moreover, he did it so overpoweringly that if I had been blindfolded and someone had told me that I had just been kissed by Jan the Stiff, I would have called that someone an outrageous liar, a lunatic and I’d have sent him to a psych ward.
What is the game he is playing with me? Maybe it’s a ruse or revenge for that call from Artie?
Unexpectedly, my self-preservation instinct kicks in. I step back and put my hands in my jacket pockets.
“I’m not sure that’s the kind of openness I had in mind.”
Jan frowns, but only for a split second, during which his face changes and assumes a frozen expression, sending chills down my spine.
“I get it. So, I must have misunderstood you,” he states in a strangely muffled voice.
He takes a step back, straightens his back and adjusts his tie. He towers over me, so I have to throw my head back to look into his eyes. And they are cold and steely again. They have lost their heat, that passion, those silver sparks. I know that look, that attitude, all too well.
“You have every right to file a complaint with the board. I have violated the regulations. I will not hold a grudge against you for that,” he formally declares.
That what? What kind of bullshit is this?
“A complaint?”
“Yes. You are at work. I am your supervisor. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I violated the rules. I did it without your consent. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” he says with a dry voice, matter-of-factly, like a robot.
My eyes get rounder and rounder while he continues, “Of course, I will bear all the consequences. If you still want to change departments, then of course I will give you permission to do so and prepare the appropriate recommendations.”
I listen to him in disbelief. From what he is saying, I conclude that this is not a game, a ruse or revenge after all.
He really wanted to kiss me. He lost control of himself, and this, after all, never happens to him.
What’s more, by kissing me, he took a risk—and a big one.
Perhaps even losing his job. So, he must have counted on the fact that I wouldn’t refuse him.
And he wouldn’t have miscalculated at all. I would have gone all the way if only he hadn’t interrupted the kiss. If he hadn’t asked that dumb question about openness, I wouldn’t have denied him anything.
I stare at him with a pounding heart, sliding my gaze over his broad shoulders and strong hands that have just tightened around my waist. I feel a renewed surge of desire. I’d like to see him shirtless again, to touch his manly chest, his sculpted belly, to undo the belt of his pants…
My head is pulsing. My throat is dry. I’m definitely ovulating.
But I don’t think it’s just my hormones. Our kiss, and what I heard right after it, has made me look at Jan differently. I see in him a man capable of passion, who lusts after me so intensely that he was willing, in a moment of heat, to sacrifice his position as CFO to kiss me.
Since I’ve been working here, I have never heard any rumors about Jan. He hasn’t had an affair with anyone. He was at a team-building event for five minutes, then left, and that was all. Jan is not a guy who seduces female employees from the company.
So why did he decide to kiss me? I don’t understand any of this.
My palms are sweating. I shift my gaze again to Engler’s stern face and see something more in it than I saw yesterday. Something more than I saw even an hour ago. I can’t stand the thought that I must now return to my desk and never feel Jan’s lips on mine again.
I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so badly that I’ll go crazy if I don’t.
And screw it! You only live once.
I take a decisive step toward him, grab him by the tie and, standing on tiptoes, lock myself on his hot lips.
Oh, yes… I love their taste. Their heat. Their touch.
Jan’s eyes widen. He tenses up all over. He stands still like a statue, and doesn’t reciprocate the kiss. I sensually run my tongue over his lips, nibble on them, longing for him to let me inside.
But he pulls away. He abandons my lips.
His tie slips from my hand.
“Please explain yourself.” He looks at me as if he doesn’t understand at all what has just happened. For the first time, I see confusion in his eyes.
Jan doesn’t like to lose control. Everything must always be to his liking, in order, I’s dotted T’s crossed, black or white, yes or no.
“There is nothing to explain,” I say.
He frowns. He still doesn’t get it.
“But you said that is not the kind of openness you had in mind.”
“Not when business relations are involved,” I reply. “It’s after five now. According to the schedule, I’m already off work.”
He squints and rubs his cheek with his hand, not taking his gaze off me. There is a spark in his eyes again.
“Are you a hundred percent sure of what you are agreeing to?”
One hundred percent? Oh mother, damn financier.
“Let’s say ninety-eight percent.”
“And the other two?”
“You may consider them a statistical error.”
His eyes darken.
“Are you aware of what you are saying?” He walks toward me. I maintain eye contact with him. He is so close that I have to tilt my head back to look at him. My heart thuds loudly, deafeningly.
“Yes.”