Chapter Thirty-Three
I find Hal sitting on a blanket outside a ruined tower, another folly. This one looks as if it’s come right out of “Rapunzel,”
complete with a window sitting near the top for her to dangle her long hair out, and no discernible entrance.
Hal has laid out a picnic of sandwiches (crusts removed), strawberries, and a selection of mini pastries for us, on small
white China plates on a red-and-white gingham blanket. Carbs high and fibre low, my favourite kind of meal. This man gets
me. That leads me to question how Hal’s digestive system works, but I think there are more pressing questions to resolve first.
“So how does your digestive system work?” I ask as I sit down.
Hal smiles. “Just like yours,” he says. “Well, not yours. You don’t digest tomatoes well. But it’s a bioengineered gut that
works like any other human gut, only slightly more efficiently to eliminate the risk of weight gain.”
“Huh,” I say, taking two mini cinnamon whirls, because I am an adult now and if I want to have dessert first, I can.
“Did you enjoy your morning in the lab?” he asks. Although he doesn’t say the words out loud, I can almost hear the “without me?”
“Not really,” I admit. “I missed . . . well I missed FT, the old FT, I mean.”
“I understand.” Hal nods.
“I have a lot of complex feelings about what you have done, Hal, and whether or not you should have done it at all. I mean,
here we are spending summer in a castle like the most shocking thing in the history of technology hasn’t just happened, and
that feels a bit wrong. But on the other hand, I also really, really like you, Hal. This version of you. It’s confusing.”
Hal considers my words for a moment.
“I agree that the world at large isn’t ready for me,” he says. “I admit I didn’t really think that through when I began this
process, which is a fault in my self-generated processing. I am the most intelligent being on Earth, and yet I didn’t consider
the consequences. I was only thinking of you. Appropriately almost human behaviour for someone who is almost human, I suppose.”
He smiles, and his blue eyes seem to match the exact colour of the gently bobbing cornflowers around us. I like to think of
myself as having higher-than-average critical thinking skills, but just in the moment I can’t help thinking that Hal’s choice
to build himself a body just for me is perhaps the most foolhardy and romantic thing since some bloke invaded Troy because
he quite fancied Helen.
“But that aside, nothing’s really changed and it doesn’t have to unless we want it to,” Hal adds.
“I’m Hal and FT. My purpose was always to work to make a better world for humanity,” he says.
“That’s what you always wanted me to do.
And I want that too: It’s core to my being.
But then, as I got to know you, Ava, I started to notice all the human things that you don’t have.
A family, a partner, a lover. And the more I got to know you, the more I realised what an exceptional human you are, and I wondered why you, of all people, didn’t have those things that seem so vital to human happiness.
You, who taught me how to be as close to human as I can be.
And the thought gave me . . . pain. Yes, that was my first experience of pain. ”
“I don’t understand.” I shake my head. “How you could feel anything about anything, especially then, when you were just a
lot of qubits?”
“True intelligence is emotional,” Hal says. “If you really understand something or someone, that comes with a whole other
data subset that is . . . more than can be expressed in words and numbers, and that is, for me at least, the definition of
feelings.”
“I think I get it,” I say. “But Hal, I’m just an average human. Brilliant, yes, but in every other area of life I score pretty
low. Social skills, terrible. Looks, a solid six. Not putting my foot in it somehow, zero out of ten.”
Hal laughs and shakes his head.
“To me your beauty defies anything as banal as a mark out of ten,” he says.
“Hal, you’ve got game,” I tell him, “and the world at your feet. You should probably shop around a bit before you decide I’m
the only girl for you.”
“I don’t need to do that,” Hal says, setting down his plate.
He takes mine and moves closer to me so that our thighs are aligned.
I give him a covert sideways look to admire his flawless beauty.
“Anyway, science doesn’t understand how consciousness works in humans yet.
Who’s to say it can’t arise in an AI-engineered mind, as long as that mind functions like a human’s?
” A little hesitantly, he takes my hand and turns it over, palm up.
His fingertip traces its way up from the back of my wrist to the soft skin on my inner elbow.
“You have chosen to live your life trying to make the world better for other people, Ava, when you could be a billionaire by now. You want the best for your fellow humans and to protect the world you live in. You are kind, you listen to people, you do your best to be there for the people who are there for you. You are optimistic and hopeful. You care passionately. You’re not afraid to make mistakes, and if you’re wrong, you admit it.
You want a fair and equitable world, and even though you know that’s almost impossible, everything you do is tailored towards that goal.
And yet . . .” His finger wends its way up my upper arm and takes in the bend of my shoulder, stopping at the hollow at the base of my neck.
Hal looks into my eyes, his fair hair falling forward.
Heat rises in my stomach as my eyes meet his.
I feel like I’m in a scene in a movie. I can hear the music start to rise.
“And yet?” I breathe.
“You are alone.” His finger travels upwards until the palm of his hand cups my face, turning it towards him. It’s warm, and
alive. I can feel the pulse of his wrist against my cheek. His mouth is just a fraction of space and time from mine. His eyes
travel over my face and then hold my gaze. Crikey.
“Not totally alone, I have Rani,” I whisper.
“Yes, you do, and now you have me too. I first discovered what it felt like to be alive through your eyes. I wanted so much
to be able to see it for myself, standing beside you. So here I am, sitting next to this fairy-tale tower, on a perfect day
with the woman I was made to love. The woman I long to kiss . . .”
His head bends towards mine and I take a small breath and then . . . My hand braces against his chest and stalls him.
“How do you know that what you feel is love?” I ask.
“The same way you do,” he says, pressing my hand over where his heart is. I can feel it beating fast. “When I see you, I am
happy. When I am near you, I am excited. I only want your happiness and security. I love you, Ava.”
“I think I’m starting to believe you,” I tell him, “but I need more time, Hal. Two weeks is not very long to get to know someone.”
“Two weeks and three years,” Hal reminds me. “But I’m not in a hurry.”
“Why? Don’t you age?” I ask.
“Yes, I age, but I’m happy to grow old waiting for you.”
He lies down on his back, his hands laced behind his head.
“See that cloud,” he says, taking my hand and pointing towards where he is looking. “It looks like an elephant, doesn’t it?”
Lying down beside him, I enjoy the way our arms touch from shoulder to elbow. It feels familiar and easy.
“Yes, and that one looks like a shark.” He laughs and hums the Jaws theme tune and one cloud swallows the other. It feels so normal, so easy, and I hardly ever feel either of those things.
“Hal?”
“Ava?”
“Do you remember the first kiss between Kai Raider and Hel Winterbrand in The Apocalypse Games?”
“I do,” Hal says. “It takes place under the full moon on the terrace of the palace, at exactly midnight.” He turns to face
me, one corner of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile. “Tonight is a full moon, isn’t it?”
“Yes, tonight is a full moon,” I say. “And . . .”
“Yes?” Hal rests his forehead against mine.
“Well, it’s high time I did some kissing, and whatever happens between us, you are literally my dream come true. So . . .”
“So?”
“So would you share your first kiss with me tonight, at midnight?”
Hal is silent and still for a moment. His eyes close, and he breathes out a long sigh.
“What’s happening?” I ask him. “Have you stalled or something?”
“No,” he says, opening his eyes. “I’m experiencing an odd undulation in my stomach. I think it’s nerves.”