Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
Alexia
"You're quiet," he says, when we stop at a red light.
"I'm admiring the scenery,” I blatantly lie. It's dark, and the only thing I see looking out the window is my own dishevelled reflection.
"Me too," he says, but when I look at him, his eyes are on me.
"Less admiring my beauty and more admiring the lines on the road, mister."
He laughs and then clears his throat. "So, hey, I’ll be home late tonight.
Another demo village reveal, kinda like last night, but more informal, just some designers checking out another house we've built," he says, eyes back on the road.
"Just telling you because I'd like to have done something with you but I won't be able to. "
"I could come," I say, the words out before I can stop them. "If you want, if I'm not in the way. I don't have anything planned after work. Or I could meet you after."
There's a beat. Half a second, maybe less, but I feel it happen, the tiny hesitation before he answers. And it makes every muscle in my body tense.
“Oh, er, no, you don't have to do that. It's all the way in Noarlunga. I probably won’t even be done until super late. I might just crash at the site when we’re done if I’m too tired to drive home.”
I take a breath, wanting to calming that oh-so-familiar feeling of dread when it comes to Marcus before I respond. “Sure. That totally makes sense. Anyway, I just thought I’d offer just in case…” my voice trails off.
His fingers slide off my knee as he reaches around to scratch the back of his neck. "It's just like a boring site walkthrough, Lexi. Nothing exciting. You'd be standing around listening to me talk about drainage easements for an hour."
"Right." I keep my voice light. “And I already know all there is to know about draining easements.””
"You'll just be bored, better off just getting some rest to make up for last night."
“Good idea,” I say, and turn back to stare at my own reflection in the window.
We don't talk much for the rest of the drive.
The house is dark when he pulls into the spot they always leave empty for me in the driveway.
I get out the second he's parked, my bag over my shoulder, still in his shirt, my coat covering what it can.
He catches up to me at the door, bumping his shoulder against mine, trying to coax the smile back out of me.
"Hey," he says, holding onto the collar of my jacket. "You good?"
I give him the smile he's looking for, because frankly, I want to. I want to end the night we spent on a good note. It deserves that. Whatever happens from here. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” I press a kiss to his cheek. He smells like me. "I'm good."
He looks like he wants to something else but I slide the key into the door and open it and he follows behind me.
The second we walk into the house, we see what we didn't from outside: the lamp in the living room on, and Zachary, sitting on the couch in yesterday's clothes, a mug on the coffee table in front of him.
"Hey, man. You're still up," Marcus says, too bright, too fast. "Rough night at work?"
"You could say that." Zachary stands up, meeting us in the foyer. His eyes go from Marcus to me and back again. "Where have you two been?"
"Alexia came out to the site. For the display village thing." Marcus explains. "Stuck around after."
"Stuck around." Zachary's voice is too even. "Until five a.m?”
"Yeah, we just—"
"I texted you," he says to me, cutting Marcus off. "Last night."
“Oh. You did?”
He frowns and pivots his body a little so his back is to Marcus, a barrier. “You didn’t see it?”
I wait a second before I give a single nod.
“Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry," I say, trying to sound as cold as possible.
But it's harder than I thought it would be.
No matter what, I will always care about Zachary.
If I could've changed that, I wouldn't have been so hurt.
“I got too busy to read my messages. Did you need something? "
His eyes drop, just for a second, taking in the shirt I'm wearing, the collar of it too big for me, the hem hitting my thighs, and I watch the exact moment it registers. His jaw goes tight. And just like that, I feel a door clicking shut somewhere inside him. A door between us.
"I just wanted to talk to you," he says, quieter and pleading. "I wanted to explain why I wasn't here the night after we... the night before. Why I didn't come home."
Next to me, I can feel Marcus's eyes boring into us.
"Talk?" I just shake my head. "What is there to say? Haven't we been through this all before?"
Something in his eyes snaps and breaks. And I know exactly how that feels. I felt it when I waited up until 5 a.m. for him to come home, and he didn't. After he kissed me and then seemingly forgot all about me.
He lets out a little exhale and shakes his head, a look that is half hurt, half amusement flickers across his face. “Unbelieveable.”
“What?” I say, the coldness feeding into a seed of anger. “Fine, if there’s something you want to say to me, say it.”
"You know, I actually thought," he says, and his voice is still quiet, still controlled, which somehow makes it worse than shouting ever would, "that whatever was happening between us meant something.
To you. I thought that it mattered to you.
And that whatever I was going to do, no matter who it hurt, no matter what friendships it fucked with, it would be worth it.
" He swallows, and his eyes go from hurt to ice cold.
"But I suppose I was wrong. So, what was it about then?
I mean, you had to know one of us would throw it all away for you, right?
Is that why you came back? To finally find out which of us would cave? "
Every word slashes at me like a knife. Cutting away layers and layers of history, of hurt, and misunderstanding. What is he talking about? How could he even think that?
"Yo, Z, that's not fair." Marcus steps in front of me immediately like he can physically block me from the attack. But he's too late. "That's not what this is."
"No?" Zachary's gaze cuts to Marcus, as sharp as his voice, but he's still talking to me. "So were you already sleeping with him when you kissed me, Alexia?"
Shock, raw and unguarded, flashes across Marcus's face, like Zachary reached into his chest and pulled something out by the root. "What?" Marcus demands. "What are you talking about?"
Zachary doesn't answer him. He's still looking at me, waiting.
"That's not..." I start, and I don't even know how to finish the sentence, how to defend myself. I don't even know if I need to defend myself.
Marcus recovers first, and when he does, it's almost worse than anything Zachary said.
"Hey," he says. "Look, I didn't know. About you two. I didn't know man. I wasn't trying to get in between anything. We just slept together. We haven't made any promises to each other."
I feel like every single organ in my body tumbles out of the slash that Marcus has just dealt me.
We just slept together.
Just.
Zachary looks at Marcus for a long, long moment. Then he laughs, short and humourless, and moves his way down the hallway. "Got it," he says, and he walks past us down the hall without another word.
The silence in his wake is enormous.
"Lexi." Marcus turns to me, reaching for my arm, and there's real panic in his face now, the mask completely gone. "Last night. The message that upset you, it was from him, wasn't it?"
I tear my eyes away from the empty space that Zachary’s left in his wake. “What are you talking about?"
He runs a hand through his hair. "When I went down to talk to Anna. I looked up at you on the balcony, you were looking at your phone, and you looked really upset. It was the message from Zachary, wasn't it? Why did you lie to him?"
I feel every muscle in my body harden and my eyes narrow. "When did I lie?"
"You told him you didn't get it."
"No, I didn't. I said I didn't read it. I saw the message, I saw it was from him, I wasn't in the mood to read a message from him, so I didn't. Which I have a right to do. And then later, as I said, I got busy. You know, just sleeping with you."
He grimaces. "You know I didn't mean it that way.”
"Didn't you? I mean, you're not wrong, we haven't really talked about what it means. I thought I'd made it pretty clear how I felt but you're right. No promises were made."
My sentence is cut off by a buzzing in my side. It takes us both a moment to register that it must be his phone in his coat that I'm wearing.
"Ignore it," he says, with a sigh. "Look—" His phone goes off again. He doesn't seem to hear it, still talking as he reaches for me. "—I panicked, I wanted him to know that what happened with us only just—"
The phone buzzes again.
I do the only useful thing I can think to do with my hands, which is pull the phone out of his pocket to make it stop. I hold it out to him, and when I do, I don't mean to, but I see the name on the screen.
Cheri:
Hey, handsome. Just got your message. And yes, I'll see you in Noarlunga tonight. Can't wait ;)
The whole world falls out from under me.
Marcus sees it half a second after I do, but he doesn't move to take it from me. I push it further towards him.
"Here," I say, adamant not to address the message that I was never supposed to see in the first place.
"Lexi, no. That message isn’t what you thi—" he says, and stops, as though he doesn't know what he's supposed to say.
I shove the phone back into his pocket and take the jacket off and hand it to him, trying to smile as I do.
"Just take your jacket. It's fine, Marcus. Good luck and have fun tonight."
He just looks down at the jacket. “I don’t plan on seeing Cheri tonight. If that’s what you’re thinking?” Somehow the question makes it worse.
"I meant your showing."
He curses under his breath. "Shit. Lexi, we obviously need to talk."
"Do we though? I mean, maybe last night was just us getting something out of our systems that we should've done years ago."
“No. Fuck. No! Lexi..." He reaches for me, and I take a step back, pushing his jacket into his hands.
"I'm serious, Marcus. I promise it's fine. I'm not holding you to anything you might've said last night. It was just one perfect night. That's now ended. Sometimes that’s the best way, don’t you think?”
He flinches like I've hit him, and for a second neither of us says anything at all.
"I don't know what to say to make you...
" he starts, and stops, stranded halfway through a thought he hasn't had the chance to process.
And I can't blame him. I wasn't ready for last night either.
When I showed up at the house, I just wanted him to know someone cared.
I wanted him to know I cared. I just hadn't realised how much. But he doesn't owe me anything.
"Hey, we're okay," I say. "But I do have to go lie down, I have a really busy day and need to get some rest. But I really do hope everything goes well tonight.
You deserve it." I give him a small smile, swallowing the waver in my voice.
"I'm proud of you, Marcus, and all you've achieved," I say, and I turn for my room before he can see my face fall.
His footsteps follow me, but I don't turn around. “Please. Alexia, wait, please! Can we..."
"Marcus." Rhys's voice cuts into the space between us.
We turn to see him standing in the kitchen, not even looking at either of us. To a casual observer, he's just an extra in this scene, but he's obviously been listening. His voice is full of warning. Enough, he's saying.
I don't wait to see what happens next. While Marcus is still looking at Rhys, I go to my room, and I shut the door, and I stand there with my back against it for a full minute before I let myself move.
I don't try to sleep. I know I won't be able to, but I have to get out of the house.
I quickly shower and dress. When I come out, the house is silent.
My step falters as I pass Marcus's door.
How could so much have changed in such a short time?
A barely risen sun greets me outside, along with a wind that bites at my cheeks.
I'm almost relieved for the way the cold air makes my lungs ache. A pain that isn't my own doing.
I'm feeling for my car keys when I realise I never got them back from Marcus. I look up and see Rhys leaning against his car. His arms are folded, feet crossed at the ankle, as he locks eyes with me.
We look at each other for a few silent seconds before he pushes off his car and opens the passenger door, cocking his head towards it. "Get in," he says.