Chapter 43
The feeling of regret settled in me as we prepared to enter the stands. Tonight was one of the biggest games of the year. It was TSU against HU. Hawkins University was the only other HBCU in the state. So, it was only right that one HBCU ranked above the rest, and it had to be TSU.
Dancing at games was nothing major for me because I felt unseen; however, after inviting Flex and Jalen, everything changed.
My nerves were swallowing me as my mind was thinking of ways to get out of this.
I wondered if they would even recognize me with all the makeup I had on.
Game days were essential. Regan, the captain, wanted us to be perfect.
She dwelled on perfection, especially when we had a full house.
From the high, slick, long ponytail to the dark blue cut crease on our eyes, adorned with sparkling diamonds as the top liner.
The bright red lipstick, the bedazzled two-piece blue-and-silver outfit, the nude-colored stockings, and the brown flat dance shoes.
Everything needed to be on point, down to our smile.
The bass drum thumped, scaring me and causing me to jump. “Girl, what the hell is wrong with you?” One of the girls said, rolling her eyes.
Regan walked over to me and pointed. “Alyse, get your shit together. You haven’t been here for weeks, don’t come back fucking things up.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
She sucked her teeth. “Better be.”
My head flew back. “No, you better watch how you talk to me,” I snapped back.
Her head swung, and she went to say something, but the band kicked in full throttle, cutting her off. She nodded as she headed to the front of the line. The crowd was loud, screaming wildly. Blue Reign and the band had always been the highlight of the games, way before I even got to the school.
I remember coming to the games with my father in the past to see them dance.
Now here I was on the team and probably the next little girl’s inspiration.
You had to show confidence even when you didn’t want to, because we were a team, a unit, the school's fucking mascot; we were the unknowing recruits for the next line-up of girls.
Once the whistle went off, it was our time. I blew out a breath as we made our way out. The step out was a fierce strut with the swing of one arm.
Strut, arm swing.
It had to be thousands of people in the stands tonight.
Strut, then arm swing.
My eyes scanned the crowd as we made our way up into the bleachers.
Strut, then arm swing.
Once we were positioned, our arms went up one final time, coming down slowly, as we sat on the bench; our legs sprang up, then came down, one crossing over the other.
The game started, and my eyes scanned the bleachers.
There were so many people that it seemed impossible to spot Jalen or Flex if I wanted to.
As some of the people were coming up to find seats, the next set of people I spotted I wasn’t expecting to see. When I heard my name being called, the nerves that had disappeared returned. “Lyse!” Alice screamed, waving her arms.
My parents and the trio had shown up.
You look pretty. Brennon signed.
My father just stared, and my mother slowly nodded.
My stomach sank as I turned to focus back on the game.
It was one thing to know they didn’t want me to participate in this part of TSU, but another for them to be here and watch me in action.
The thought of what they were thinking began to weigh heavily on me, and the only thing I wanted to do was run.